The pain of being in love with someone you can't have. It isn't about the fact that you can't have them or the fact that they don't love you. It's about the fact that you know someone will swoop in and love them and have them the way you can't.

In my instance. She's already got someone she loves. Someone she needs and cherishes. Someone that isn't me. She's married, she's thirty-six, I'm twenty and she's never going to love me that way. She's also my boss.

Her blond hair blue eye glory. That smile that lights up the whole company. She's the owner of a small Italian restaurant. I'm head chef in the kitchen.

"Laura, can you make me the usual?" She asks casually as she walks in. She grabs a grape out of the fruit platter I had just made to send out to awaiting customers. I whack her hand away, a little bit to slow. Of course that was intended. I would never stop her from doing that. It's her little routine now.

"No worries Amalia. Just go sit down and I'll bring it to you." She smiles and thanks me, but declines like she does every day.

She likes to watch me cook. I don't know why, she just stands there with a content smile leaning on a counter watching. The occasional words exchanged.

"Would you like to do my job for me?" I ask with a small laugh as se continuously grabs new products to put in her pasta. She smiles and blushes, stepping back a little.

"Where's Thomas?" I ask about her husband. Usually she will eat with him and order his food too. When she doesn't it means their fighting. When I ask about him she usually tells me what's wrong.

"He's at home. We got into an argument last night." I nod and continue to listen as she tells me about her fight with her husband.

"Hey boss... and, hey boss." Jeremiah walks in. I'm his boss and Amalia is my boss so he calls us both boss. I feel that half the reason is because he never remembered our names.

"Alright. Here is your food. Go. Eat. Let me work." I say jokingly. She smiles and walks out.

"When are you going to tell her how you feel?" I roll my eyes at Cody. He works with me. He is the other head chef, who is about to take over as I finish.

"I'm not telling her." I say in annoyance.

"You need to, what if you collapse at work?" I roll my eyes.

"I haven't have I?" He sighs.

"She needs to know." I sigh in annoyance and walk out.

Today has been a stressful long day. I want nothing more than to go home. She doesn't need to know any of my personal life.

I walk out toward the staff lockers. Getting changed out of my chef clothes and into my street clothes. Light Blue jeans, red v neck with a black jumper on top. A scarf for the cold weather and a beanie.

I walk out and I see Amalia still sitting and eating in the staff break room.

"Hey, where you headed like that? The snow?" I laugh softly.

"Cold weather is to be expected tonight Amalia. You should try to keep warm." She smiles.

But soon I see her frown. I go to ask what's wrong when I feel a rush of blood to my head and pressure.

"You don't look to good. Your eyes are blood shot and you've gotten pail. She stands up and puts her cool hand on my forehead.

"I'll be fine." She gives me her look.

The look that says no, I'm not letting you out of my site.

"I'm use to this feeling don't worry." I go to walk away when I start to stumble. My body becoming weak.

She catches me before I fall. Sitting me down on a chair she kneels in front of me looking terrified for me.

"I'll be fine." She sighs.

"Stop saying that." I roll my eyes.

"In sick. But I'm dealing with it." I ay vaguely.

"You're sick and preparing food? You know how dangerous that is?" Her words seem those of anger but her tone has no anger in it.

"It's not contagious." I say.

"You don't know that." I snort.

"I do." She starts to get irritated.

"No you don't." I roll my eyes.

"Trust me. You can't catch this." She puras her lips.

"Are you sure about that? Is that what your doctor said?" She asks.

"No he didn't." I say.

"Then you don't know." I sigh getting irritated as well as the already sick feeling taking over.

"Well you can't catch cancer." She gasps at my comment. Her eyes going wide with shock and fear.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks. I sigh. The tears close to falling from her eyes I can't help but wipe them away, cupping her cheek as I do so.

"This. Right here. This is why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you hurting." I say softly. She looks at me like as if I have to heads.

"You shouldn't be thinking of me." I sigh.

"That's all I ever do. Think of you. About if you're happy or if you're fighting with your husband again, if you'll be in at work. If I'll see a fresh bruise the shape of his hand mark your skin again but know I can't comment on it. If you're happy or hurting. And the highlight of my days. Are seeing you smile. Because when you smile I forget I'm dying. And when you hurt I feel like the weight the world is crushing me I can barely breathe. Because the woman I know I love and can't have. Is hurting and I don't get the privilege to take that pain away." The she'll shock look on her face tells me I've said too much. But there's no taking it back now.

She sighs and cups my cheeks. I wait for her to tell me how wrong my feelings are and that she doesn't feel that same. But instead I am pleasantly surprised when she presses her lips softly to mine. Her soft hot lips almost make me jump from the feeling.

"I didn't realise you felt this way too. I didn't realise you knew so much." I give a sad smile.

"I look for you. In the crowd. Even when I know you won't be there. I look around and think. Maybe this is the one in a million chance that I may bump into her. It never happens since I live on the other side of town from you but I still look." She presses her lips to mine again. This time with more force and longer.

I take hold of her head, keeping her lips to mine. Her arms wrap around my neck and te next thing I know she's on my lap as we kiss. Our tongues fighting to dominance.

"Come home with me." I whisper breathlessly.

"As in..." she trails off. Both of us knowing what I mean.

"I love you." I say simply. I watch as she goes wide eyed.

"I love you. And I know you feel it too. I'm dying and if this is the only way I get to the courage to tell you then I'm sure as hell going to push my luck with it. What do I have to lose?" She gives a sad smile.

"I'll come home with you." I smile and press my lips to hers.