Mackenzie

AAHH! Help me!

I think I'm falling even harder than I was before for Alex.

I didn't tell anyone that I like him again, not even Courtney or Megan. Well, they hate him, so I'm worried that they won't like me anymore if I tell them. It sounds stupid because they're supposed to be my best friends, but they can be really critical. Even though I don't judge them based on who they like, I still don't want to take that chance.

I can't stop starring at Alex in class. He's just so... I don't even know. There's just something about him. Too bad I think he likes that girl Savannah from homeroom. Ew, I hate her. Well, I hate that he likes her. She's actually a nice, sweet, and pretty girl. Its terrible.

Since Alex has been talking to Savannah, he's been talking to me a lot less. I guess I shouldn't be sad, because he has a pretty bad reputation. How would I look talking to him? Too bad Savannah doesn't know about his reputation. If I told her, I doubt she'd believe me. I would seem jealous, rude, and probably come off as a liar. I'm definitely not a liar. She thinks I don't like her. Truth is I like her boy- boyfriend? I don't know.

I'm the kind of person who assumes things about people really quickly. Do Alex and Savannah go out? Have they kissed? I always wonder all of those questions.

Whenever Alex walks by me, I hope that he'll at least say hi. But he doesn't even do that. Does he hate me or something? Did I become too ugly for him? Is he too good for me now that he's met Savannah? I just want him to know hat no girl wants to be ignored by her crush. Or by anyone.

Ugh! It gets me so frustrated! I don't know why I still like him when he ignores me. Well, he doesn't ignore me, I just have to be the one to say something first. I shouldn't do that. He should talk to me first, and not use one word replies. That's only for texting, though. In person, we occasionally have small talk, but he never seems to interested in what I have to say.

Don't you hate it when someone who used to love you, doesn't anymore? Its not the best feeling in the world.