"Taste me."

The last words to fall from my lips before a devilish grin was drawn across His face, a smirk that shrinks His lips and narrows His eyes, a smile that fades momentarily to revel in my words. Lust drips down His face as screws into desire and a sigh of relief is spent from a drawn jaw. I take in every detail of Him--the tense of every muscle, the pleading of shut lids, the huff of each breath.

He takes fast strides to close the distance between our lips, fierce drive behind each movement, passion behind each plush press, fire sparking in my belly and forcing volcanic libido to pool between my legs. My organs are forced into knots as He paws at exposed skin and nips at my bottom lip. He presses a single peck before pulling back to stare back at my flustered state.

"Are you sure?"

I nod.

Our chests crash together with each hitched inhale and shaky release, His darkened eyes enveloping mine, words sit on the tip of His tongue, darting eyes and a deep inhale cut short by parted lips without the satisfaction of knowing His secret. He shakes His head slowly before dropping to suck deep bruises into my cleavage and nick my sides with blunt nails.

I whimper in pleasure as He takes my sensitive bud past His lips to lap at it with His tongue. "You're in for it now, Phoebe. Shit. Once I have you, I'll never want anyone else."

I suck in a sharp breath as He punctuates His statement by pinching the other bud between His forefinger and His thumb. A grin of control, a display of domination, spreads across His mouth, the hardness pressing against me becoming more prominent.

His hand drops to cup my heat, dragging down the curve of my side and across my hip before finally halting at my center slickened with arousal. "Do you want my fingers or my tongue?" He mutters as He peppers sensual kisses across the skin of my neck, leaving my mind hazy and unable to think.The new sensation of desire that I feel with His actions is mind-boggling.

"I want it." Is all I can force out between mewls of pleasure as He begins to circle the heel of His palm against the sensitivity between my legs.

He groans at my words and breathes against my skin, He picks His head up to meet my gaze, "Yeah? You want it all?"

I huff out a breathless yes and as soon as I do His lips fall back onto mine and the erotic movement of His hand shifts, His thumb drags throw the arousal coated folds before quickening its pace on my throbbing bundle of nerves. His tongue drags across the bottom of my lip and swirls in tandem with mine.

A yelp spews from my throat and my grip on His sheets tightens to turn my knuckles white. This only encourages Him and He focuses His attention solely on my center, He pulls away from me and sits on His haunches. His eyes burn into mine so piercingly I cannot look away, each time my eyes begin to drift close they're suddenly forced back open by the fading perception of His muscular figure and lust-filled gaze.

"So good for me, Sunshine." He moans out at my endless string of mewls and purs. He pulls His thumb away from my throbbing nerves which elicits a whine from me, a short chuckle slips past His lips before His middle finger is dragging down my heat torturously slow before halting at my entrance, "Can I?"

I surprise both of us when I take my own hand and grip His wrist tightly, "Please." I've gotten a sip of the forcefully building of pleasure that's left a distracting knot in my lower belly and a thumping heartbeat in my chest, I want more.

He takes my hands in His hold and clasps them together above my head, "Is this okay? Can you keep these here for me?" I nod which is met with the shaking of His head. "No, I need words, Sunshine."

"It's okay." I shutter as I feel His middle finger sink into my entrance, a shocked exhale force passes my lips and my brows drop in surprise. He stays still for a moment, allowing me to adjust before slowly curling His finger against my front wall, a high-pitched moan tearing up my throat.

His thumb presses light, teasing circles against my nerves as the pace of His finger inside of me increases, leaving my chest rising and falling rapidly to bring oxygen to my stunned system and the knot in my gut begging to be unraveled.

He slowly releases His grip on my wrists above my head, sliding His hand down my torso and gripping one of my thighs tightly on the underside, placing it on one of His shoulders before repeating the action with the other.

He sinks down so His mouth hovers over my throbbing collection of nerves, His hot breath sending shivers up my spine as He keeps His eyes on mine. My chin meets my chest to maintain deep eye contact.

"Can I finally taste Sunshine?" He asks before pressing an open mouthed kiss to the skin above my center.

My eyes screw shut and my head hits the mattress as His finger continues its determined speed against my front wall, hitting a spot that leaves my limbs like gelatine, "Taste me."

He's quick to take my nerves into His mouth, moaning out at the contact and sending shocks of pleasure through me. His tongue flicks at it rapidly before changing paths to lap at the pool of arousal now coating His lips and fingers.

The stimulation is overwhelming, His unrelenting pace forcing every breath to be shaken by a moan or yelp. The ends of the strings that form the knot are slowly being pulled apart, the bow losing its shape and becoming a mess of ribbon.

"Fuck," He groans out against my heat, "You're so close, Pheebs. Let it go, be good for me and come."

His words, the sensual drawl of His lustful rasp, His movements, the carnal desire of His determined pace, Him. His hold on me is what finally tugged the loose ends of the slipping knot to force a dramatic release of pure pleasure--the pressure in my belly loosens, my toes curl against the sheets as my hands tighten into fists above my head, my every breath filled with pornagraphic utterings of His name through moans and whimpers.

I've never felt the high of life, until now, and I don't feel like I need to be courageous anymore, I don't need to be brave, I'm free. I allowed myself to be under the control of another person with the knowledge that I was the pilot of it all, I chose to give myself the freedom to envelop myself in that feeling.

I can hear our heavy breathing crashing into each other as my eyes that were once screwed shut tiredly flitter open, the sight in front of me beginning to tie the ribbon in my belly again. The butterflies that were once housed in my gut now swat at my heart as I stare up at Him, His body has a slight sheen and His hair is tousled about. He slowly pulls His finger from me and brings it to His lips, wrapping it in His tongue and sucking it clean, the sight is so erotic I can't help the flush that deepens across my cheeks. It's pulled back out with a pop before He leans down to press a chaste kiss to my lips and then forehead, His hot breath sends a shiver down my spine as He speaks softly into my ear, "Sunshine tastes sweet. Mmm like it, " before stepping back from the bed with a cocksure grin.

He disappears into the bathroom and soon after I hear the water running the door closes. I don't dare let myself imagine what I know to be true is happening behind that door, I catch myself picturing Him gripping Himself in His fist and quickly blink away the dirty thoughts that tighten the knot in my stomach.

My mind wanders away from the salacious images of Him, the sweat slickened version I find myself continuing to be intrigued to explore, to the more demure nature of Him, the one that enjoys syrupy kisses and forkfuls of fluff and aching bellies from copious amounts of sugar.

He is childlike, each thing about Him that I discover pulls me in that direction. He enjoys the simple things that are always counted on but often taken for granted--diner grilled cheese with ketchup and soft vinyl records, the strings of a guitar and the wilted pages of a well-loved book.

He is a person whom I unwillingly, unconsciously trust, someone who tugs downturned lips up into grins, an individual whose dark past forced bitter honesty to be His default--whether or not it was kind. The intimate details of Him are what I discovered to be His most beautiful, the endearing fragments of Himself that I had to pan for through the sands of His indifferent desert.

The priceless nuggets of golden Sunshine--His kindness and attentiveness, His passion and drive, His beautiful soul that I'd once believed to be malevolent.

I thought His beauty was merely external--rich brown hair and rigid face, mossy irises and plump lips. I'd seen the perfection of His features as solely a guise--a guise meant to deceive. I thought I was left entranced, unable to think about anything else, because I was merely attracted to the undeniably alluring nature of His exterior. It made me question how such a beautiful person, someone so beautiful that it feels impossible for their beauty to just be external, could seem so cruel.

I was humiliatingly wrong, His kind personality is shown through His radiant appearance, I was just too blind to look past the cold exterior He'd placed upon himself as a shield. But I was correct in one thing, it is just like that for some people, they have a warm heart and a beautiful body. Their external beauty is a mirror image of their interior value, their kindness radiates through their skin. I just had to pull away from my inhibitions and prejudgments of Him in order to realize the truly Sunshine filled person in front of me, His rays reach lengths I'd never thought possible prior.

I've been tossed the key to my cell, twisting it in the lock in order to remove a cellmate that I allowed to keep me out of the handsome rays that now splash color across my skin, I've twisted the key and pushed him out of my sight, his ghost will always rest in the corner of my cel to cast shadow over me when I'm in need of Sunshine most but to live a day in which overcast is not the certainty is a day I'm grateful to finally have seen. I can walk across beaches and allow myself to rest in the sand to soak up the Sun in the salty air. I can step out of my cell even for a short while.

His rays, He, showed me the trail of light that gave me the opportunity to discover the key that had been littered on the floor all along. I've never been more grateful for a Sunrise in my entire existence, even if it is simply the eye of the storm. For now, it is calm and that is all I could ever need.

Steam rolls out from under the door and brings humidity into the air, a thick feeling brought to my lungs. He takes hot showers, of course He does. Sunshine is the essence of warmth, He desires to be shrouded in it.

I turn my gaze back from the bathroom door to the mugs left on the wooden table. He likes coffee in the morning. It's warm and it's simple, it's familiar and reliable, it's complex and yet trustworthy.

I feel a warmth in my chest as the kaleidoscope of butterflies migrate from my heart to my mind and back before they dissipate into a singular flapping set of wings. I feel a rogue on my cheeks that only pinkens more as I bring my hands to feel the heat radiate off my face. A single moth, the one that replicates the ink on His torso, flutters to my ear, "You've gotten rid of all of the butterflies but you'll never get rid of me."

My eyes widen at the realization that has solidified itself in my mind, He is the light I'd needed, He was more than a match and more than a single torch, He is the Sun itself and this doting and adoration I've let swell my heart has now burst. I can stand straighter, the burden is lighter, it's lighter because I love Him.

I'm in love with Him, I fell for Him so fiercely and blindly but now I can see it, I'm maddeningly and deeply in love with Him.

Oh god, I'm in love with Him. He's not purely benevolent, pure benevolence is only found in those you keep at arm's length, but I am in love with Him because He brightens the dull, rain-ridden world I sauntered around.

I have never wanted the long lasting, sitting on the porch swing love, a forever. That's not who I am, I don't dream of forever. I dream of a happiness that lasts on its own, not one dependent on someone else. I'm far too independent to force that responsibility onto someone else. But right now, the kind of love that I find repulsive and unrealistic, doesn't feel so intangible now. I'll never want the forever kind of love so many chase after, I want the forever that even if it doesn't last forever, it changes you forever.

That's the kind of love I am in with Harry, maybe not the long lasting love, but a deep rooted infatuation sort of love. It's so intense that it is the only thing that constantly remains in the forefront of my mind.

Infatuation may be a better way to describe what I feel. It's love, but it's somehow too intense to be that. I am in love with Him but I am more so infatuated with Him and I feel that infatuation is more honorable than love. To be so passionate about someone, even if it is only for a short while, is more meaningful to me.

I am infatuatedly in love with Him and that terrifies me.

All of a sudden, I'm torn away from my thoughts as He steps from the steam-filled bathroom and walks past me in just a towel, stepping to His haphazard dresser of clothes and slips into black jeans and button down shirt, His only choice of clothing.

His wet hair drying into curls as He rustles them about with the towel and I notice the lengthening of it, His curls are longer and somehow richer than when I'd first laid eyes on Him. It's only a sliver from touching the fabric of His shirt.

My own hair is different than when I'd first laid eyes on Him. I've slowly abandoned any attempt to hide my ever grown out roots and simply embraced the unattractiveness of the poorly blent red and blondeness of it. Next time I get my hair done, maybe I'll just have her dye it all to match my natural color.

Look at you Phoebe Mae, so much growth and change in one morning. I'm still terrified of everything that's motivating this development of my character but I'll celebrate what I can in hopes to ignore the pang of anxiety in my chest.

He turns to face me and the dimple in His cheek is deeply carved to accompany a smug smirk as He leans over my limp body, "Do you know what I'm craving?"

I see the mischievous glint in His viridescent eyes but choose to ignore it, the fatigue already coursing through me begging me to call off on Dee to stay in the comfort of His silky sheets, "Pancakes?"

He must notice the sleepiness in my heavy lids and widens His smile with a theatrical gasp, "How did you know? Grilled cheese too."

I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth to pull back my smile, "I'm the reincarnation of Nostradamus," I say with a shrug.

He flings Himself onto the bed and two strong arms pull me into Him. A comforter is thrown over the both of us as giggles erupt from the both of us. "We'll get breakfast once you're ready, Sunshine."

He pecks kiss after kiss to my cheeks and lips, my nose and my forehead, anywhere and everywhere.

I'm in love with the Sun and infatuated with Sunshine.