“Welcome, everyone to the College of Song!” Maria began, over the distant sounds of merchants and festivities (and the slightly closer sounds of the other College’s commencement speeches). Theo cheered, along with all the others getting introduced to the College. He noted that although Maria’s voice travelled loud and clear, she didn’t seem to be shouting or straining her voice at all. He wondered if it was Endless Song or something else.

“I am A Thousand Spider’s Webs, and I am the one in charge of the administration here at the College of Song.” Theo was slightly surprised; he didn’t expect the one manning the desk to also be in charge of the administration. It would explain how she had so much paperwork when class wasn’t in session. He also absentmindedly noted down her Bard Name, and tried to remember to refer to her as that rather than her actual name.

“You twenty soon-to-be students are here for a variety of reasons. Some are here because of fate and circumstance,” Maria said, in a way that felt too pointed. Theo knew she was talking about him. He wondered if he was the only one, or if others were here out of pure luck or a teacher’s whims.

“Some to hone their craft,” Maria continued. A fair few people around him (most of whom cradled instruments or instrument cases) nodded. He noticed the accordion player from the circle among their number.

“Some for adventure and magic,” Maria said, with a wistful smile waltzing across her face. About half the group had a gleam in their eye at that comment, tensed and excited and ready to change their lives.

“And some because they’re rich and bored, and looking for something to do.” Maria intoned with a polite contempt, and a few faces blushed, shrank into themselves, and looked slightly sheepish.

“The College of Song is not like the other Colleges. We are not only here to teach you magic. We are here to make art. To write ballads and memorials, to bring song and life to the battlefield, to show the world that there is more than one kind of magic.” Theo felt something stirring in his chest, and there was a wave of emotion swelling through everyone around him.

“We are here, not because we are good at magic, but because we can see magic in everything. You will learn how to use words more effectively than any spell. You will learn how sometimes a song is the perfect salve. You will learn not only how to be a bard, but a better person.” Everyone was enraptured (except for a single girl who looked more and more confused and perplexed as Maria continued).

“Welcome to the College of Song. We welcome you to our community. We welcome you to a song you will sing for the rest of your life.” Maria finished, and everyone erupted in cheers.

Theo was not ashamed to say that he was on the verge of tears. And looking around him, at the people who were now his classmates, and over afield to those family members and strangers watching, he felt comforted by the fact that he was not the only one. In fact, some were openly weeping, others stoically keeping a strong face even as rivulets carved paths down their cheeks.

“Now say your farewells, and come with me. There is some administration to cover before your journey can truly start.” Maria went and stood by the entrance of the College, waiting as the new students all sent off their families and friends and, one by one, slowly trickled to mass around Maria.

“She’s really good at that speech.” Sparrow commented, from Theo’s right. When he looked at his right however, Sparrow wasn’t there. He heard them chuckle, and an arm was slung around from his left around his shoulders.

“I need to keep you on your toes.” They offered, as an explanation (and an excuse). Sparrow started to steer Theo towards Maria, but at a meandering pace.

“I didn’t know she was the administrator as well as the receptionist. Seems like a lot of work.” Theo commented. Sparrow snorted, patting him hard enough on the shoulders for him to wince and lean further into Sparrow’s arms.

“It is. That’s why we leave it with her.” Sparrow said, an innocent look on their face. Before Theo could reply, they had reached Maria and Sparrow departed, patting him lightly twice on the back as farewell. Taking a moment to register Sparrow’s once-more disappearance, Theo turned around and resigned himself to this sudden abandonment. He took in the crowd of people.

By the looks of it, about half the group was here, and the others wouldn’t take much longer. Someone was engaged in conversation with Maria already, very passionately. Theo felt for an inkling like he recognised them, but wasn’t exactly sure from where or why.

“…was incredible! That was a touching speech.” She praised, with the kind of passion normally reserved for sweeping declarations of love. Maria demurely laughed, waving off the compliment.

“Thank you, but the credit goes to the one who actually wrote it. You’ll meet him soon enough; he’s one of your teachers.” The girl almost jumped for joy, and Theo realised where he recognised her from. She was the one who spoke about poetry and philosophy before he went to Frank’s Meats for the first time.

“And the final straggler is on their way, we can start moving now. Follow me!” Maria announced, and the whole group entered the College of Song.

They passed the wood and leather interior, and it was clear to see who had been before and who hadn’t (or at least, who was used to this level of luxury) as some were outright staring. Theo noted that it was mostly the poet and the accordion player and the people around them that were properly gawking. Maria kept up a brisk pace, and they had to drag their eyes away to keep up (and see the rest of the interior).

She led them to a room that Theo was familiar with – it was the interior courtyard Sparrow had tested him in. And Sparrow stood there, along with all the other teachers they had introduced him to. Maria went to stand in front of all the teachers, and all his classmates (it was odd to think of them as his classmates, but it was exciting nonetheless) awkwardly stood around the room. One person hesitantly leant on the wall, and then another sat on a ledge, and soon nobody was standing, Theo included.

Maria nodded in approval. “Behind me are your teachers. These are some of the finest bards I know, and they will introduce themselves how they see fit. Afterwards, I will inform you of your schedules, and if anyone has questions they can ask me then.” She stepped aside, and the five teachers stood there.

Sasha stepped forward, beating her chest with her right hand. “I am The Silent Fist. I will be teaching you Physical combat, as well as Motion.” She continued to beat her chest, and the floor started to rise. Soon enough a barrel-thick stone pole taller than Theo had grown out of the floor, and in a fluid motion, Sasha had rushed the pillar, broken its base, and tossed it straight upward. It flew true for a few seconds, before it started falling down, and Sasha uppercut its bottom, causing it to fracture and lightly shower everyone in an almost uniform rain of stone cubes the size of a cherry.

The teachers were spotless, while the students were covered in chunks of rubble but also very impressed (in an excited but also terrified way). Maria sighed, whistling as all the cubes floated off the ground (and various people’s clothes and hair), and organised themselves into a neat pile in the corner.

Next, Tiffany slowly moved to the front. She took a minute to just stare at the whole class, unblinking. It was unnerving, and terrifying in a completely different way (like staring down death, compared to the angry tiger of Sasha). Eventually, she started to speak, in an almost-whisper.

“Hello.” She was incredibly soft-spoken, and it was almost like the wind howling than an actual voice. “I am The Wandering Song.” Tiffany paused again, this one pregnant with twins.

“I will be teaching Survival and Speech.” And with that, she moved back in line with the teachers. Theo was surprised that she was teaching speech, and tried to imagine how her classes would go. She would command your attention, at the very least.

Next, Fred moved in front. The class was still a little shaken up from Tiffany’s performance, but they unthawed quickly from his warm smile. He let out a slight chuckle before starting.

“Hey everyone, I am The Honeyed Tongue, and I will be your Persuasion and Speech teacher. It’s lovely to meet another generation of fine bards, and I am sure that you will surprise and astound us over the years to come. I will be teaching you how versatile words can be, and how to make them your weapon. Once I’m done with you, you’ll be able to charm the trunk off an elephant!” The class was starting to laugh with Fred, and they were eating out of his hand (only metaphorically, thankfully).

“It’s not easy being charming, unfortunately. The good news is that it is a skill you can get good at. The better news, for those who are uncertain and insecure, is that looks and attractiveness have nothing to do with it! And while not everyone has my toned or rugged physique,” Fred posed in mock seriousness, letting his belly jiggle.

“Even without looks, I could charm anyone in this whole city. And hopefully, soon will you! But be careful, that is a big responsibility. Don’t become another story of a bard getting run out of town by angry husbands.” Fred waggled his finger, a stern look on his face before he broke and started belly-laughing.

“Okay, okay, okay. Point is, you’re going to learn how to be charming. Every single one of you, I promise, will become more confident and charismatic by the time the year is up.” Fred took a moment to look every single student in the eyes. When it got to Theo, he was convinced that Fred not only meant it, but guaranteed it. It was the look of confidence of someone who knew their plan would never fail. Fred broke eye contact, smiled, and nodded before stepping back.

Theo found himself clapping unconsciously, and looked around to see that he wasn’t the only one. At least it wouldn’t be a surprise why Fred was the Persuasion teacher. Next up, Thelonious.

“Hi, I am Thelonious. I will be teaching you General Knowledge.” Theo was surprised that Thelonious didn’t have a Bard Name, and went by their real name. Most of the students seemed, not surprised, but confused at the idea of a class as vague as General Knowledge. Thelonious chuckled a little, and continued.

“Some of you may be wondering what General Knowledge actually entails. Or why it’s even necessary for being a bard. Well, consider if hypothetically you didn’t know the politics of the area you were in, or the language of the people you were with, or even if you had trouble writing.” Thelonious glanced at Theo for a second. “It would be hard to get along with or communicate with anyone anywhere. Or say that you were a diplomat and had no idea of cultural customs, or a spy who didn’t know enough to blend in, or had to lead an army without knowing tactics.” Thelonious paused, voice firm but passionate. His arm was raised, hand curled into a fist. Theo could see him lecturing the class, and make any topic interesting (or at least, interesting enough to pay attention).

“To be successful, you need to know a lot more than just what to do. And these skills will serve you in life as well as in performance.” He tilted his head, and continued with an aside.

“Plus, as much as arithmetic might be painful now, it saves you being chased by guards from a kingdom for not paying the proper amount of tax.” And with that note, Thelonious slipped back into the line, leaving only Eleanor left.

She stepped forward, immediately filling the room with a sense of lightning anticipation. “I am The Doomsday Siren.”

Silence followed that statement.

“I will be teaching magic. Every form of magic is my domain, and you will understand not only how to use magic, but how to do so as a bard.” She took a deep breath, and started to sing. It was a beautiful, haunting melody, and the world turned red. The sky darkened, as the sun was swallowed, and the room grew hazy as the pond in the corner dried up, and people’s clothes started to spontaneously catch on fire.

Eleanor stopped singing, and everything stopped with it. The fires disappeared as soon as they came to life, but the clothes remained singed. The pond was still dry. She continued.

“Action magic has a reputation for being slow and dangerous, and difficult to use in combat. People write it off as inherently bad at offence. And yes, it is less effective and efficient than focus magic. But if you know what you are doing, it can still be devastating. And it is flexible, and versatile in ways that focus magic will never be able to match. I will teach you not only how to make the most of your magic, but push it beyond in ways you never thought possible. After all,” A knowing, twisted grin crept onto her face, “Magic is only limited by creativity. And bards are very creative people.” With that, she stepped back, and gestured for Maria to return to centre stage. With every step she took, the pond slowly filled, until it was back to how it was before she had started her demonstration. Maria shot her a grateful look.

“Thank you all.” Maria said, politely clapping for the teachers, and the students joined in. “Before I start discussing your classes, does anyone have a question?” A hand raised up.

“Yeah, how could you forget me?” Sparrow pouted. They currently sat right next to Theo, and he hadn’t noticed at all. They stood up with a flourish, and walked next to the other teachers who all had the look of someone whose friend had a “signature” joke that they had repeated to death, who had whipped it out again long after it had stopped being funny. They winked as they passed Maria, who was either having a stroke, or desperately trying to stop herself from breaking every other bone in Sparrow’s body.

“Most of you already know who I am. Because,” Sparrow paused, as they clicked their fingers. The green tie around their neck grew, until it formed their signature sparkling green suit. Theo heard a series of audible gasps travel across the room, as people decoded who he was.

“I am The Dancing Wind.” Sparrow winked, and wiped the front of their shirt, and a new cerulean tie appeared to replace their old one (the green one that became their suit).

“I will be your espionage teacher, as well as share the motion classes with The Silent Fist. And that’s all the introduction you’ll be getting out of me. See you in class!” Sparrow said, standing in line with the five other teachers.

Massaging her temples, Maria audibly sighed and tried to reassert control over the room as it burst into hushed whispers around “The Dancing Wind!” and other similar star-struck statements of disbelief and awe. She clapped her hands, and when that barely made a dent, whistled so that all the neatly stacked stone cubes flew into each other and exploded. The room quietened down after that.

“As I was saying, does anyone have a genuine question?” Maria paused, giving Sparrow a stink eye while they conspicuously looked everywhere else. Nobody else made a noise. Sighing, she took her eyes off Sparrow and cleared her throat.

“Your first year here at the College of Song involves nine total classes, separated into three categories: Social, Practical, and Art. Social classes are Espionage, Persuasion, and General Knowledge. Practical classes are Physical Combat, Survival, and Magic. And Art classes are Sound, Speech, and Motion.” Maria paused to whistle, and a single sheet of paper gently flew into every student’s hands. Theo looked at it, concentrating hard on making out the letters, sounding out the words as he read on. Before he could start actually reading it, however, Maria resumed talking.

“Classes will be split into morning and afternoon sessions, and you will have one session for each class per week. Magic is the exception, taking up all of Valday. I have handed you your schedules, but to summarise, Sayday morning you have Speech, Sayday afternoon you have General Knowledge. So you will go to Speech with The Honeyed Tongue after this introduction is over. Souday, you have Espionage in the morning, and Physical Combat in the afternoon. Like I mentioned, Valday will be purely magic. Gilsday will be Persuasion in the morning, and Sound in the afternoon. And Finally, Chenday is Motion in the morning and Survival in the afternoon. As per tradition, Fesday and Tefday will be days of rest.” Maria paused for a breath, and Theo realised that, given his less-than-proper education, he had forgotten what the days of the week were.

It had been so long since he learned his letters and numbers and had to know what day it was. His routine for the past few years had been the same every day, and revolved around the pub unless there was a major celebration (and even then, those rarely reached the Outskirts). Even his training with Sparrow had been every day.

It took Theo a moment to realise that Maria had resumed talking.

“…of the classes we have touched on, but there is one that wasn’t mentioned in our teacher introductions, and that is Sound. As the bard College, we take music incredibly seriously, so it will not be taught by a single teacher, or even two, but every teacher we have and even special guests if necessary. The world of music is just as wide as magic, and we treat it with equal respect.” Maria wrapped up, clapping her hands.

“And that is all for now. Today’s classes will run a little later than usual, to compensate for the orientation. The Honeyed Tongue will get everyone’s attention when it is time to go, but for now, feel free to talk to your teachers and fellow classmates. I will be taking my leave now, but I wish you all the best. If you need anything, I will be in the reception.” She bowed, and a chorus of “thank you”s rang out as Maria left. The students carrying instruments started to mingle among themselves, but the rest seemed to gravitate towards various teachers, most of whom were surrounding Sparrow.

“So, any questions for me specifically?” Theo nearly jumped, as he heard Sparrow’s voice by his head. He looked, and Sparrow was standing next to him, even though they were clearly also answering questions by star-struck fans.

At the questioning look on his face, they just pressed a finger to their lips and winked. Theo did his best to move past that, and voiced the thought that had come to mind.

“I uh…there’s a lot that I don’t know. I barely remember which day is which.” He rubbed his neck, looking sheepish. Theo felt a little victory at Sparrow’s cheeky façade cracking, as they considered how bad Theo’s foundational knowledge must be. After a pause, Sparrow came up with a response.

“Right, I’ll see if Thelonious is free for some tutoring.”