Flames covered the screen as intense music played.

“He’s the hottest hero in America! Captain Hot Devil!”

Captain Hot Devil punched a path through the flames, taking a stance in the center.

“Nothing gets me fired up like saving the day! But keeping the burn takes a lot of fuel.”

He flexed his muscles as fire surged across his hands and arms.

“That’s why I stop by Taco King! Their unique blend of spices will leave you burning for more.”

Captain Hot Devil thrust his hand forward, smashing the Taco King Logo over the screen.

“And now for a limited time, challenge these Devilish Tamales with Hot Devil Sauce. It’s hotter than hell, I guarantee it.”

He held two tamales surrounded in flames. The screen zoomed in on his face as stared directly into the camera.

“Two for $4.99 at your nearest Taco King. If you think you have what it takes to challenge hell.”

He curled his biceps with the tamales in hand, as the flames covered the screen.

“Devilish Tamales with Hot Devil Sauce, only available for a limited time at Taco King! It’s the Captain’s order! Restrictions apply, offer not available in Alaska or Hawaii.”

Captain Hot Devil pursed his lips as the video ended. He looked at Londyn, whose shoulders were trembling as she covered her face with a clipboard.

“Is this…really necessary?”

“C-Come on now, Captain, you want to make some money now, don’t you? I promise you, once the corporations have some skin in your game those politicians and journalists are going to get a lot more polite.”

“...I get that but really? Devilish Tamales, Hot Devil Sauce, ‘it’s hotter than hell’?”

“Well it’s hotter than a nuke, isn’t it?”

“...they told you about that.”

“Yes, yes they did.”

“...this isn’t payback for something, is it?”

“Now Captain, why would you ever think that?”

Captain Hot Devil just sighed. Londyn’s shoulders continued to shake.

“Tell you what, I’ll swap you with Falcon if you can convince the deodorant guys you have better abs.”

“...”

“Taco King it is. You’ll have the hottest commercial out there, I-I guarantee it.”

Captain Hot Devil groaned as Londyn burst out laughing.

Jim Roberson sighed as he opened the door. It had been a very long day, mostly spent avoiding eye contact.

“Honey I’m home.”

“W-Welcome back!”

He froze.

Something wasn’t right.

He hadn’t heard her greet him like that since…well a very long time.

Carefully, he crept into the house.

“We’re in the kitchen! Dinner’s all ready for you.”

He had a bad feeling about this.

He took a deep breath.

You’re Captain Hot Devil. You’re a superhero. You fear nothing.

He stepped into the kitchen and froze in the entryway.

“Dad! Dad! Look!”

“We got them Dad! Just for you!”

“Y-Yes, just for you.”

His kids ran to him, stars in their eyes. His wife watched from behind the table, mouth hidden behind her hand and shoulders trembling.

On the table, they were there.

Devilish Tamales.

“They’re hotter than hell!”

“It’s so cool!”

“Y-Yes. It’s so…c-cool of you.”

Jim Roberson groaned.

Now he had two mistakes he would never forget.

In a parking lot after sunset, a man sat in a car, a box in his lap. He opened up the box. He unwrapped the contents and lifted one to his mouth.

He took a bite.

He frowned.

“So much for ‘hotter than hell.’ Heroes are so annoying.”