1.29.1

Reflection

“While we’re speaking hypotheticals, what happens if you get what you want?” Astrid asked. “When this is over, and you’ve put an end to the Channelers, you’ll just roll over and die yourself? That’s your ‘best possible’ ending?”

Rahna tarried in a spartan hall. Her mood gloomed.

“You met Walker?”

Astrid nodded.

“I fell in love with him years ago,” Polaris professed. “Before I knew what it was. And by some miracle, he survived what happened at Argos. He protected me, and we found safe haven. It cost him his friends and his integrity. He feels he abandoned his post, his oath, and his purpose, to be at my side. He is only here now because he loves me.”

“It sounds like he isn’t totally convinced this is the only way,” Astrid tried. “Not if he cares for you.”

Rahna looked to her, eyes shining, and for a moment, Astrid almost felt connected to the foreign Channeler.

Rahna, too, experienced feelings she’d spent a lifetime rejecting. The chance to love and be loved. The burden of freedom, to take ownership over one’s fate.

Astrid merely scratched the surface of that responsibility, and here this woman waded, in the thick of it.

“He’s the only one in the universe I truly trust, Astrid. And even then, if I were to advance beyond my own restraint, if I were to lose myself, he knows I expect him to end it. And he will. I have suspected for a long time my death will come at the hands of my love. I cannot expect a better way to go.

“But should I live to see our victory and all our plans come to fruition, and I am the last… I will go into exile. And I will die alone, far away from where anyone can use me. And even that, it will hurt him. The one I love most, Astrid. No matter what we do, we will hurt those we care about most. It is unavoidable.”

Astrid hurried to debate that Statics harmed others, too. Even with love. And they, also, deserved life. But...

I’m going to miss you when you go away.

Astrid mentally shoved the voice of Anders from her mind. Her diverted eyes revealed a secret to her company she hadn’t yet faced herself.

“I see. There already is someone.”

“It’s not the same,” Astrid rebuffed. “It’s not like that.”

Rahna gave a sympathetic, morose smile.

“It’s not until it is.”

She continued their walk. “Come. It’s just through here.”

Astrid strode to catch up as Rahna approached another far door.

“This problem isn’t going away, you know.” Astrid changed the subject. “It doesn’t end with us.”

The door ahead gave way to a squared-off hall fitted with grated windows that overlooked a large cavern.

They overlooked measured, methodical activity below. Tables and cabinets, sterile and clean, lay laden with equipment. A band of men and women in lab tunics and rubber gloves labored away, sequestered from the traffic and noise of the living areas.

“These are the scientists we managed to recover from Argos and the academy. After the incident, a lot of students volunteered to continue the work. Under mine and Walker’s supervision, they are researching potential alternative solutions.

“Faraday technology. Implants that can inhibit the ability in existing Channelers, or better yet, ways to detect Channeler infants in the womb, before they develop enough to kill their mothers.”

Astrid kept her eyes fixed on an exam table draped, not in implements, but in a human body. She’d bet anything it was not the corpse of a Static on display to be dissected and analyzed.

She reminded herself, that in the medical field, science often used cadavers for study. But had this offering been freely given?

“You speak as though your intentions are noble, but I’ve seen what your group does. Channelers of Argos, your Sanctuary siblings, starved to death on Thedes. You let that happen. And Graves he…” Astrid’s voice cracked, and she beat her emotion back down. “Can you honestly say everyone of your outfit is so honorable?”

“No,” Rahna admitted. “But they do not have the luxury of our training to suppress such undeniable anger. To meet their need for resolution I can only give them a clearer directive. Under my leadership, their rage will not land indiscriminately.

“It already has. What evils did Gavin do? Did the others that slowly wasted away to an excruciating death?”

“I cannot deny it will take more before we reach a permanent solution. And not just other Channelers. Misguided Statics, like the Governor of Tetris. She is a soft-touch, and a sympathizer. And she will provide sanctuary for wayward Channelers, I know she will. But for us to succeed wholly, sanctuary cannot be permitted.

Astrid snarked, “I heard you promised the colony to Tetrians. A mercenary group. How gallant.”

“I promised it to the people,” Rahna corrected. “Mercenaries and reprobates existed before us, and they will after. It is for the Statics to sort, not us. They must take responsibility for their own, just as we must.”

“And that is better than to live in peace? To have allies among the Governorship? Or the Admiralty Board?”

“You know as well as I do, ‘sanctuary’ is a lie.”

The S.O. leader meandered from the scientists. Eager to move on, both in the base, and in their conversation.

“There are others in the military that believe in our cause.” Rahna escorted Astrid back out into the hall. “That agree with our objectives. Joining us does not betray the Service, nor the government. Only your captain. You must see he is naïve. He must be to have taken you from your home, pit you against us, and not have expected you to change.”

Astrid’s pace slowed. She grew increasingly leery of the warped logic presented to her. But Rahna continued.

“Joining our side doesn’t have to mean separation from your team. Even now Walker is speaking with the Statics in your party. Without groups like yours hindering progress, this can be over quickly. And who would resist, if not London and his Task Force?”

“More are coming with each generation.” Astrid finally halted altogether. Her voice grew louder, as her own certainties railed against Polaris’s proclamations. “Killing all those that live now won’t solve this forever. And whatever your lab cooks up, you can’t impose it on an entire civilization. Forced abortion? Inhibitors, drugs? It won’t last. It’s just another form of oppression, and you and Walker already know oppression doesn’t work! Channelers will slip through the cracks. We’ll just keep coming. The only real permanent solution is integration!”

Rahna finally rounded on her.

“In what world, Astrid? Look at the galaxy now! Our civilization has always been made up of raiders, criminals, and the corrupt. You cannot throw Channelers into the mix and expect it to be any better! Do you want the worst of our kind running gangs? Forming assault squads? Stoking the sins that already exist in our species?!

“If a Static goes bad, they can kill hundreds, if not thousands. And a Channeler? It would only be that much easier. And maybe no one could stop them. With us, it would be so much worse! And you know it.”

“There are good people!” Astrid contended. “There are always both! For every bad person, a good must exist to stand against them! That goes for Channelers, too. We could help!”

“The good, like Gi, they get killed!” Rahna argued back, emphatic now. “They sacrifice themselves, anyway. Like you, like me! We live knowing that working towards something bigger means every passing day is one day closer to when someone kills us for it! Until all that remains are those willing to kill! Until only the ruthless survive!”

“Ruthless like usurping a governor? Like overseeing the extermination of your own people?! Innocents, currently living contentedly in isolation, no threat to anyone!?”

“They won’t stay there. We’re evidence of that, you and me!”

“I’m here because of what you’ve done out here!”

The two yelled now. Astrid’s skin grew hot in their dispute. But Rahna met her ire.

“And unless I don’t stop it, another will be out here because you are!” Rahna shot back. “You’re not the last, right? Captain London wants more?

“How many more Channelers are you going to dedicate into the military, Astrid?! To throw themselves in front of bullets to convince the Statics we’re worthy of acceptance?! It’s the same thing!

“Yours or mine, it doesn't matter! The Statics will never accept us until we prove we’re willing to die for them! To them, the only good Channeler, is a dead Channeler! As long as we exist, war is always on the horizon! We have to end it!”

“How can you say that?! When you have the love of a Static?”

With glistening eyes, Rahna’s chest heaved a shaky breath.

“One day, Astrid, you will look into the face of one you love and see only the pain your existence causes them. By death, or desertion, you will one day break their heart.

“At least by death you won’t have to live with yourself after.”

Deep in the stone, muted bangs interrupted their row. Rahna recoiled, but Astrid recognized the sound immediately.

“Gunfire.”

“Your people must have gotten free!”

Their eyes met.

“They’re probably looking for me.”

With a nod, Rahna jogged past her. “I know where they’ll look. Maybe we can stop this. Come with me.”

Astrid’s first impulse was not to follow. If her team made their move, then now was the time to draw sides.

But she’d never find them on their own, and Polaris, for her part, still seemed convinced they could work together.

Astrid didn’t need to buy it to know the woman could at least get them all in the same room. And running the halls with the S.O. leader seemed more efficient than blundering on her own.

She chased after the rogue Channeler toward the sound of raining bullets in the distance.