Tears are fighting their way out of my eyes while my sinuses are swollen; they make breathing through my nose harder but not hard enough. It feels wrong to breathe this easily when I’m failing.

Four days have passed, and Lord Juler and I hit a slump.

The guiding spell is not working. The [Light] properties are much more obscure and arcane than I had imagined. We lack fundamental research on the nature of the soul-shroud – and even though we are now advancing magical theory to new heights, we are still in the dark. The amount of knowledge needed to solve our problem is unavailable to us. More precisely, it’s like trying to build a gun with scrap iron. The gun would just explode in your hand at first use.

If I dedicated my life to this type of research and consorted with renowned scholars around the world, in less than a decade, I would be able to create thousands of spells like this. But now? This is too much. For me. And even for Lord Juler.

The [Supreme Archmagus] has been working non-stop on the algorithm responsible for building an image from the data. However, we have barely been able to get a vague shape to appear on our ‘screen.’ And the progress was so minimal we are not even sure we are on the right path. We might have made some improvements by pure chance. And we both know that.

I leveled.

[Luxmancer – Level 29]

And I gained a new class.

[Scholar – Level 9]

[Intuitive Understanding] is my most helpful skill so far. It lets me understand very complicated matters – or simply obscure things – to a certain degree. Let’s say I have a foreign word or concept – I can now glimpse around 20% of its true meaning, importance, and usage. Lord Juler said it’s one of the key skills for a true [Scholar]. And he also said that in time I should become a [Scholar of Magic]. During our recesses from research, he started teaching me about classes and levels. Apparently, when compatible classes level up together, they fuse. [Scholar of Magic] and its advancements are highly compatible with any branch of magic. He says it’s actually desirable to receive such a class and that every proper aspiring [Archmage] should level it up to 40.

So, I have finally dived deep enough into magic that I’ve gained another class, that I’ve expanded my horizons and my responsibilities. But all is for naught.

We need a fresh perspective, student. Our work is becoming stale. This is not simple crafting. More time won’t change the outcome. We have explored most of what could sensibly be explored. I can keep that woman alive with my sheer prowess and earn us the time needed. But that means you will have to study more than you are comfortable with.

“I don’t care, Lord Juler,” I sigh. “I need to cure this evil thing. Cringe, Jesus. What a fucking thing. I have never used the word ‘evil’ for something. But who the hell creates artificial cancer metastases to inflict pain on others? To kill them slowly? JESUS! I have never witnessed such an atrocity. And now, Antoninus’s mother could die because of some stupid fucking [Necromancer]. I’ll do whatever it takes, Lord Juler. Whatever it takes.”

I can’t believe that someone would do that. I still can’t. I’m just angry. Angry and tired. And why are people not more concerned with eradicating these problems? Why do the people at high levels let [Rottenbone] be a thing?

Because to eliminate great evil, you need to be ready to die. [Heroes] of ages past have perished. Even in the great pantheon of the Vanedeni people, where many [Heroes] reside, many more are missing. Some are forgotten, and our history can’t catch up with them anymore; some are simply secretive, like me, or another hidden soul on Kome. A few more might reside here and there, but that’s even beyond me, Joey Luciani. I’m far from being the most competent of my people, remember that. Incredible [Heroes] among us have been tested by the world. One of them, if the legends are true, even ascended to godhood and became one of the Canti – the divine beings.

But uncountable numbers of the Vanedeni have perished while trying. So many have failed. Ten times, maybe a hundred times more than those who succeeded. And great deeds require great effort.

I stand up, feeling wobbly. I think I ate a couple of hours ago, and I’m watching my diet to avoid losing more energy. But sometimes, I just forget to eat if no one brings me food upstairs.

The studying has taken a toll on my energy. I’m tired beyond relief. Sadly, I agree with Lord Juler’s first proposition. I need to rest. He needs to find inspiration somewhere else. If we just keep drilling and drilling, we won’t find anything.

It’s frustrating. I’ve always believed that the day I hunkered down and tried, stuff would come easy to me. But another part of me also knows that this is exactly what I have always been afraid of. Failure. A reality-check.

Even with the new levels, even with the hat. Even with a veritable [Supreme Archmagus] on my side, I’m far from being able just to do anything. And the problem is that the guide is a more powerful version of the guiding spell needed for a hypothetical [Gamma Knife]. Sure, if I want to blast someone’s brain, it just takes aiming in the general space inside the skull. I wouldn’t need the surgical precision that, instead, I need for Antoninus’s mother’s procedure.

There are ways that are very un-scholarly to solve this problem, Joey Luciani.

Are there, now?

Levels mean much more than anything the best of us could understand. Our world fills in the blanks for us when we have enough pieces. If you can already work out the basics of radiation, you might get a skill after you level up. Given how deadly it would be, it’s pretty sure that you would get an inferior version of it with many kinks. When I say un-scholarly – mind you – I mean that it doesn’t really help you. It’s a fast way to do it; it’s the road that the weak follow. The more you go to the deep end of magic, the bigger the burden on you will be – unless you know what you are doing, that is.

“Not going into the Dungeon and killing hordes of monsters to have this stupid system finish my research, then.”

Well, I didn’t say that.