“Don’t you want to go back to the bakery, though?”

That’s what Lucinda asks while I’m making lunch. I made Valarith transport some supplies, and I’m cooking for everyone.

“Sunk cost fallacy, Lucy. If you have spent a lot on something, it doesn’t mean you should still be throwing money or time at it just because. I’m done with baking. For now, at least. I don’t see any reason I should be going back to Amorium or trying to fight my sentence.”

“Aren’t you angry?”

I stop finely cutting the pork belly to take a big breath.

“Yep. Obviously,” I exhale, “but what should I do? Start a covert war with the nobles? Go against the entire Royal Family? Should I start murdering every single enemy I have? Nah, thank you. I’ll mind my own business. If people who figure out who I am and where I am want to mess with me, I’ll take care of them. But I think we have both assessed that I can probably fry anything short of an [Archmage] from the inside out.”

Lucinda sighs and nods.

“Also, if you can learn from Valarith, you are set. She and Lord Juler are the real deal. The Vanedenis are as crazy as mad cows, but they are also the strongest, aren’t they?”

“They are losing the continental war on Kome. They have been losing for centuries now.”

“And yet, they are still fighting. Also, they fought each other because of a crazy necromancer. And if Valarith went back, she could easily slaughter all their enemies and lead the Vanedenis to victory.”

Lucinda shrugs and looks at the food I’m making with a raised eyebrow.

“Is that a, what is it called again?”

“Carbonara.”

“Is it the one with milk?”

I look at her with a disgusted expression.

“Jesus. Where are you from? New Jersey? Disgusting.”

“No? Which one was the milky thing? I could have sworn it was this one,” she says with a glint in her eyes.

“I am not entertaining these satanic talks, please,” I say while waving a hand. “Also, as I was saying. You are good. I have a little proposal for us. Later. Not now. But learning magic from them? Man, people would kill for it—maybe even cause genocide. Given the murderous tendencies of Elves, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Have you decided what to do?” she asks, ignoring what I just said.

“I’m good.”

“You are not.”

“I am!”

Lucinda throws a spoon at me that I have to block with some magic before it can land in the food I’m making.

“Hey! Manners! I’m cooking!”

“Answer the question!” she starts raising her voice.

“I did!”

“You didn’t!” she shouts.

“I did!”

I can see some sparks of magic in Lucinda’s hand, and I decide that maybe it’s best not to escalate the situation. She’s worried for me, I know. She has no right to be, don’t get me wrong. But it feels good that someone is worried about me. And the few weeks we really spent together gave her a good sense of how my emotions show up.

“I don’t know. I’m a bit lost, to be honest.”

No one wanted to help—no, no one helped. That’s even worse.

“You shouldn’t concern yourself with others. You survived what I did to you. I’m sure you can keep going.”

I take my eyes away from the pans and pots for a second.

“It still hurts like a bitch, Lucy. The fact that I could take it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I don’t know. I simply thought Stan would help when worse came to worst.”

“There are political interests that are much bigger than you.”

“You know I come from a world without magic, right?”

“Lord Juler told me something about it. So?”

“Where I come from, I wouldn’t expect people to help me just because. No magic, no levels. That means there’s very little to gain from risking your life. Note that some still do risk their lives. Policemen and firefighters, to name a couple. But the point is that I would understand if no one came to help me. Why would they, right?”

I pick up a whisk and look at the fine metal lines before looking at Lucinda again. The simple instrument reflected a life I had decided to abandon. And now I was paying the price for it.

“In a world without magic, it’s fine to be whoever you are. If you are a coward or weak, it’s fine. There’s really nothing most people can do about it. Some Humans – since we are talking just about Humans – are happy with being weak. Aspiring to a grand life is, in a sense, meaningless. Everyone dies in the same way. Whether it’s between silks or rags, everyone kicks the bucket equally.”

“Here’s different,” Lucinda sighs, hinting at the awareness of what I will say next.

“Yeah. Here’s different. You can become immortal. And even more, you can level so much that you become a literal [Hero]. Every single one of you matters, in a way. You just have to put the work in, buckle up, and be ready to go down with a fight. So—”

“Why don’t we?” Lucinda finished my sentence.

“Yeah.”

“People are scared of dying in the same way they are in your world. No one is immune to fear. The fact that we gain levels, while your people don’t, doesn’t really change what happens inside your head, does it?" she asks.

“It should. It hella should.”

When she puts a hand over mine, I realize I was about to fall into my thoughts, willing to abandon reality for as long as possible.

“I’ll have your back,” Lucinda tells me, cringing slightly at her own words.

“That’s something unusual from you.”

“I’ll leave you to die, then,” she snorts, taking her hand away.

I grip her arm before she can get away.

“Nah. Next time an [Archmage] picks a fight with me, I’ll tell them to meet with you first. You better study hard with Valarith, you know?”

“Are you jealous of her? You have been mentioning the Princess a lot.”

“Jealous?” I snort.

But before I can continue, a part of me starts aching.

“A little? I don’t know. It feels weird that Lord Juler is not in my head anymore. He felt like a… like a…”

Lord Juler felt like a father to me.

And that’s something that I had lost a long time ago.