“Good morning, crew!” Peg announced, too loudly for how early it was.

I opened my eyes wearily, blinking against the sudden brightness of the room.

“Peggy, if you don’t turn off the lights right now I swear I may kill you.” Gem grumbled half-heartedly, burrowing further under her duvet.

I surveyed the room from where I was sitting, still against the wall by the window where we’d fallen asleep. Peggy was already standing and doing her usual morning stretches.

“Does she do this every morning?” Cas muttered, refusing to open his eyes.

His arm was still around me but he’d pulled the duvet up to cover his face.

“Yes.”

“How do you manage?” He grumbled quietly.

“You get used to it… Mostly…”

Peggy was waiting impatiently for us to get up, tapping her foot lightly.

“Come on! It’s almost breakfast time and we have a busy day ahead of us! We need to hurry if we are going to squeeze in a quick run. We’ve been excused from normal lessons for the day so we can have the introductions to our specialist ones instead. We have Recreational Flying rules, Understanding Planet Politics then lunch and Working Crew Relationships then Crew Dynamics. I wonder how Understanding Planet Politics is different from our normal planet politics classes? Maybe it goes more in-depth? I hope so.” She shut the door to the bathroom behind her, still thinking out loud.

“Wait…” Cory sat up, despite Gem’s loud protesting.

My breath caught in my throat as I realised what Cory was talking about.

“Does that mean we did it?” Cas asked in a hushed voice, finally opening his eyes and staring at me hopefully.

I scrambled to check my wrist monitor. On the home page where it normally said ‘Trainee - Space Corps’, it now read ‘Crew 761 - Captain’.

“We did it,” I whispered, still not believing it.

Gem sat up, blinking sleep from her eyes as she checked her wrist too.

“Crew 761.” She confirmed.

I looked at Cas who smiled and said “761.”

As a group, we turned to look at Cory who was staring at his wrist monitoring in shock.

“What’s it say?” Gem asked, trying to get a better look.

“I didn’t think it would happen… 761 - Ship Doctor.” He breathed.

“Yes!” Cas whooped walking over to Cory and clapping him on the back.

I was still stuck on the floor clutching the blanket around myself desperately, a combination of fear and excitement vying in my stomach.

“What’s all this chatter about? You should be getting ready.” Peggy scolded as she walked out of the bathroom, rolling up her sleeves.

“We’re a crew! We did it!” Gem cheered trying to sink back into her bed but Peggy stopped her with a glare.

“Yes, yes. Go Crew 761. Now if you don’t want to miss all of the hash browns you better get changed soon.” Peg said, flicking through her wrist monitor intently.

“Yes, ma’am.” Gem grumbled on her way to the bathroom.

We did it. I still can’t quite believe it.

“So, the main difference between Planet Politics and Understanding Planet Politics is that the latter is focusing on the working relations of each planet compared to our own?” Gem asked Peggy as we walked to our next specialist class, Working Crew Relations.

“Yes, and how each planet views Nova and the Space Corps.” She confirmed.

“So then… what do you think this class will be about?”

“Well, I asked Commander Taurus this morning to send the syllabus so I could get started on the reading but she’s said she will after the first class. Apparently, it depends on what we discuss in the class which is a concern for me. She said that it’s about building a stronger team who work together well, whatever that means.”

“I think if we go through the hatch on the left here we can cut straight across the building and that should save us some time.” Cas checked the map he’d made on his monitor.

“No!” Peg refused. “That’s not allowed. It’s for Bots only in there.”

“Come on! It’ll get us there so much quicker and we won’t have to go through the Garage, we just can go under it. There’s no one around…” Cas trailed off raising his eyebrows.

“Fine! Just this once because we’re running late.”

“We’re ten minutes early?” Gem said, checking the time.

“Exactly.” Peggy looked around anxiously as Cas typed a code into the panel on the wall.

“Voila!” Cas flourished dramatically as the panel slid up.

“Come on, we don’t have time for that. Someone could see us!” Peggy hurried everyone into the service corridor before the door shut automatically.

The walls and floors were a brushed metal with tire markings from the servBots and other Bots that kept this base running. Thick pipes snaked along the edge of the corridor radiating heat whilst countless multicoloured wires were gathered high up on the walls.

“Okay, so you follow this one around to the left and there should be a ladder down to the next floor,” Cas said as he led the way checking our progress on his wrist monitor, our footsteps echoing slightly.

“What happens if we see someone else?” Cory asked nervously.

“Well… they shouldn't be here either I guess,” I answered with a shrug.

The tutors at the base didn’t mind trainees doing things like that as long as we were responsible and didn't damage anything. They always said that we were growing up quickly and should learn how to make wise decisions. That’s a huge part of the Space Corps beliefs.

I was still trying to justify it to myself when I realised I could hear footsteps coming towards us.

“Shit!” I hissed, stopping suddenly.

They looked around at me, coming to a stop as well.

“There’s nowhere to hide!” Peggy squeaked, bouncing back and forth on her feet looking for something to duck behind or a vent to rush out of.

Gem shushed her as the footsteps drew closer.

“There’s a hatch forwards and on the right.” Cas rushed us towards the hatch, typing quickly but not quickly enough.

We froze as we heard the footsteps stop behind us, none of us wanting to turn around in case it was a tutor.

“Ah! I thought I heard something.”

It was just about the worst person who could possibly find us. The Director of the base. We turned away from the hatch reluctantly.

“Director Haddon!” Peggy exclaimed faintly, the colour draining from her face.

“What are you all doing here?” He asked with a glint in his eyes.

“We were running a little bit late so thought we could cut under the garage and get to our class earlier.” I turned finally but was still unable to look him in the eyes.

“Ah. And how did you get into the service corridors?”

“I managed to… work out the code…” Cas explained hesitantly.

“You just worked it out? How?” Director Haddon pressed.

“I… well, I… hacked a servBot…” Cas muttered finally, unable to look him in the eyes as well.

Peggy gasped, her hand fluttering to her cover her mouth.

“You hacked a servBot. Without help from a tutor or older trainee?” Director Haddon clarified.

“Yes.” Cas’ cheeks flared bright red and he stared at the ground.

“Very impressive. Well, don't let me keep you. I assume you know how to get to room 108 from here?”

“Yes, sir,” Cory answered for us.

“Wonderful, but there’s no need to call me sir. Just Andy will do.” Director Haddon said with a smile before walking past us.

Peggy took a few steps after him. “Wait, sir! Are we allowed to use these corridors?”

He turned back to us with an inscrutable expression on his face.

“Well, I don’t see why not. You’re all sensible enough. As long as you don’t do anything reckless or get in the way of the Bots, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. Have a good session!”

He waved over his shoulder as he continued walking away. We stood still for a minute in a state of shock before our feet started moving again. My heart was still pounding furiously. I knew we wouldn’t be in much trouble but I thought we’d at least be told off.

“That was unexpected,” Cory murmured.

“I thought we were about to be kicked out! My hands are still shaking!” Peggy held her trembling hands up.

“We can’t be the first kids to work out how to access these, surely.” Cas justified.

“How could you not tell us that you hacked a servBot?” Peggy punched his arm not gently.

“Ow!”

“In all fairness, how else did you think he did it?” Gem laughed as Cas stepped in front of me, out of Peggy’s reach.

“Well… I guess I didn’t think of that.”

Cas laughed and stopped in front of another panel on the wall, still being careful to remain out of Peggy’s reach.

“Okay, it should be this one right here.”

“That was quicker but I don’t think we should use the corridors very often, it seems risky” Peggy said, looking anxiously back in the direction the Director went.

“It’s so much easier though and Andy didn’t mind us using them!” Cas argued.

“Even so. Come on, let’s just go to class.”

I smiled and follow Peggy into the classroom where a youngish looking woman was typing on her screen but looked up as we entered the room.

“Hello Crew 761, I am Commander Taurus but you may call me Taury or Commander Taury. Come in and take a seat, please.”

She pushed her hair back from her face and gestured for us to sit down. The room was organised weirdly. five individual seats with attached tables were placed in a circle around her desk.

“Can you go around the room and introduce yourself to me? Use your chosen name and position on the ship please, starting with the Captain.”

I’d pulled out my screen and started to get the document set up when I noticed that the room was silent. I quickly repeated what she just said in my head before realising I was the Captain and that everyone was waiting for me to talk.

Crap. I’d been the Captain for less than a day and I was already screwing up.

“Oh, sorry! I’m Aries, I’m the Captain I guess… Urm… I’m the Primary Pilot and also the backup Gunner. Sorry, Weapons Expert…” I cringed as she typed something on her screen, expecting it to be something bad.

I’d used the informal term for my role that trainees used but now that we were a professional crew I needed to use the proper term.

“I’m Cassiopeia but I go by Cas, I’m the secondary Pilot and secondary Engineer.”

“Cory, I’m the ship Doctor and secondary Weapons Expert.”

“I’m Gem, I’m the Explorer and primary Gunner!” She was bouncing in her chair with excitement as she spoke.

“I’m Peggy, I’m the Diplomat and also the Primary Engineer.”

The Commander finished typing and nodded to herself.

“Great. In these sessions, we’ll be talking about how to work more cohesively as a crew and deal with any issues that come up as you begin working professionally. I understand that each of you have been part of minor missions but, now that you are an official crew, you will be doing larger missions and can be called to take part in any wars that may arise therefore the dynamic may change and you need to be taught how to deal with this. I believe there is a pre-existing romantic relationship within this crew?” She paused, looking at us as if she were weighing us up.

I could have sworn that her eyes lingered on Cas and me for longer than the others. From the slight blush on his cheeks, I knew he’d felt that too.

“Yes. Cory and I are dating.” Gem said after what felt like an eternity.

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Umm.. about two years now. Pretty much since we joined.”

“And are there any problems within your relationship?”

“No,” Gem answered quickly.

“What do you think?” The Commander asked Cory who blushed a deep shade of red immediately.

“Umm… No, I agree with Gem. We don’t have any problems….” He trailed off, staring intently at his screen, uncomfortable with talking about himself.

She noted something on her screen again.

“Okay. Relationships within the crew are common but at this age, they can be a problem. Being brought up in an orphanage means that you grew up quickly, you’re generally more mature than those who grew up in a home environment because you had more responsibility and experienced trauma from a younger age than others. Luckily, you are all drafts so that makes it a little bit easier. I understand that you were not in an orphanage for long, Pegasus, however, I have been briefed on your situation and from what I understand you also had a similar upbringing therefore you should also be mature.”

Peggy looked down at her screen, her fingers trembling slightly as they hovered over it ready to type. She struggled any time people brought up her parents. At this point, she’d told us a little but not the full story. Now, I understand why she struggles so much but then I didn’t really notice. I feel bad for that, she needed more support and I didn’t realise. I know she doesn’t like talking about stuff like that but I should have noticed. It makes me feel like a bad captain.

“Wait, why are relationships a problem?” A crease had become visible between Gem’s eyebrows.

“Because if you break up, it can split the crew and it’s not always possible to trust someone with your life if you have just broken up. It’s generally worse for the Captain as they must make decisions that affect the whole crew so they need to remain objective. If you were in love with someone, could you risk their life even if it meant saving thousands?” Her voice turned soft, troubled almost and her gaze was far away.

“That makes sense,” Peggy said quietly.

My eyes found Cas without my consent. He was looking right back at me, a sad smile on his lips and I knew he was thinking the exact same thing I was. We couldn’t risk the crew, they were more important. I smiled back at him and looked back at the tutor, my heart sinking in my chest.

“So, this class is very similar to Crew Dynamics but here you’ll be doing team building activities, working through any problems you have with each other and learning to communicate more efficiently whereas, in CD, you’ll be learning what it means to be in each role and how to fulfil those roles and serve the Council to your full potential.” She continued, her voice stronger now.

My heart thudded unhappily as my thoughts turned to Cas. I understood her logic. I didn't think I could put him in danger and we weren’t even dating.

To save thousands though… My traitorous brain argued.

I understood that it would be the right thing to do logically but I didn’t think I could willingly send him or any of the others into that kind of danger. But I would have to. It would be for the good of the many. I was the Captain, it would be my choice and my choice alone. I tried to concentrate again but my mind kept wandering back to that. The weight of my decision to become Captain dragging me back in each time. I tried to justify it to myself and say that we were still young so would only be doing minor missions and we wouldn’t be at much risk with those but I still couldn't make it feel right in my head. I thought that we’d have years and years before we’d have to make a decision like that, if ever. I wonder if I knew then what would happen, would I have made the same choice? I don’t know. I come back to that moment again and again in my head. I replay the entire mission constantly. I just don’t know what I could have done differently to do better. I should have just been better. Smarter, quicker and better. I will forever blame myself for the lives we lost and the injuries my crew suffered.

“That was so interesting! I wonder what team building activities we will be doing next time. They sound fun.” Peg said, checking the map on her wrist to locate our next class, Crew Dynamics or CD as Commander Taury called it.

“She was a bit intense though, wasn’t she?” Gem replied, sounding distracted.

I followed them without paying any attention to the route, still stuck thinking everything over, dreaming about what it would be like to date Cas. To be holding his hand right now, like Gem and Cory were doing, or be able to kiss him before realising that we can’t ever date and shoving that mental image away.

Idiot. Fantasising about something that could never happen only makes you want it more.

“Hey, are you okay?” Cas asked, brushing his hand against my arm and breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, yeah… were you saying something?”

I realised that we were in a completely different part of the building now and chided myself for not paying enough attention. I didn’t even recognise where we were.

“I was saying you seemed distracted.”

“I was,” I said with a brief laugh that didn’t feel genuine.

“Want to talk about it?”

I stopped walking and faced him. I couldn’t look into his eyes so I stared at the Space Corps patch on his jumpsuit.

“Not really…” I paused. “It’s about us and what the Commander said…”

“Oh… I’ve been thinking about that too.”

I looked up at him, surprised.

“Here.” He gestured towards a service hatch on the wall. “We have fifteen minutes until the next lesson. If we go this way it’ll take us five minutes and we can talk in private.”

I nodded, biting my lip.

“Shouldn’t we tell the others where we are?”

“They’re so far ahead, we’ll probably get there before them if we go this way.”

I considered it before ducking into the open service hatch. I tried to work out what to say to him but, for the first time, it felt awkward between us. I didn’t know how to start talking or how he felt about it. I didn’t know how I felt about it either.

“So, the way I see it is we have two options: date and not break up or never date.” Cas blurted out.

“We do… but…” I trailed off feeling a lump in my throat.

“But?”

“I don’t think we should.…” I whispered, my heart clenching as I made the wrong decision.

Cas stopped and turned to me.

“You don’t?”

“Cas… it’s not that I don’t like you. I do. I really do. But…”

I struggled to find the words. How could I explain to him that I was already in love with him but couldn’t date him?

“But what?” His eyebrows were clenched together and his eyes were sad.

“I can’t do it. If I had to do what she was talking about, you know, send you into danger, I don’t think I could. You’re one of my best friends already and I’d be so scared. I’d want to go instead of you. I just couldn’t do it if we were… more…” I trailed off.

“But how often does that really happen?” He asked, half-jokingly.

“Enough for it to be a problem.” I couldn’t raise my voice any louder.

His shoulders slumped. I saw my heartbreak echoed on his face and had to look away.

“So… that’s it? We can never date?”

“We can never date,” I confirmed miserably, swallowing down tears.

“I wish I didn’t understand. At least that way I could be annoyed.” He laughed hollowly, his eyes shiny.

“Me too.” I agreed although I was still annoyed at myself.

“We made the right decision making you Captain. You’re already doing things for the good of the crew. You’re going to be great… We should get to class.”

He started to walk away and I blinked back tears, feeling heartbroken that we could never be together and that we even had to have this conversation. It was almost harder that Cas had been understanding. If he’d shouted or gotten annoyed I would have been able to argue it with him or maybe even let him convince me that I was making the wrong decision but he didn’t. That wasn’t who he was and that made it so much worse.

“Come on, we’re going to be late,” Cas called softly, waiting for me to catch up.

I followed him along the thin service corridor, wiping my face and trying to get more under control. Just before Cas typed in the code to open the hatch, he stopped and looked at me.

“This doesn’t change everything, you know? You’re still one of my best friends. Nothing could ever change that.”

He smiled and walked out before I could reply. I’m glad he did because I couldn’t think of anything to say. I wanted to tell him I was wrong and that we should date, we’d just be careful and never break up but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought it wasn’t right for the team but I was just scared and dumb.

Tears started to form behind my eyes again and I forced them down as I walked towards our friends who were waiting outside the classroom.

“What took you so long?” Gem asked salaciously, raising her eyebrows.

I shook my head at her quickly behind Cas’ back and her eyes darted between us quickly, noting the slight puffiness around my eyes and the forced smile on Cas’ face.

“We took a different route, it was a bit longer than I thought it would be,” Cas said too lightly.

“Did you take the service corridors again? Even after meeting the director in there earlier?” Peg gasped, her shock almost bordering on outrage.

Gem laughed, linking her arm through mine and squeezing it supportively.

“Come on Peg, let’s just go in.”