I glanced up as Cory walked in and waited for Cas to join him but the door shut behind him.

“Is Cas not coming?” I asked.

“No, he said he was tired from our battle and wanted to get an early night,” Cory said as he leant down to kiss Gem.

My eyebrows drew together. It had been a pretty intense battle but something felt off.

I frowned and brought up Cas on my wrist monitor to ping him a quick message:

Hey, is everything okay? Cory said you’re not coming tonight.

I waited for him to reply, trying to continue reading the textbook on the screen that was lying on my lap but my eyes keep straying back to the message I’d sent. We had an exam in a few days and I still wasn’t feeling particularly confident in my knowledge of the Lorvian revolt. I needed to brush up more but my mind didn’t want to focus on the words in front of me.

“Okay… So, the war in Lorvia was caused by civil unrest?” I asked Peggy, trying desperately to wrap my head around it.

“Yes! But what caused the unrest?”

“Ah nik, I don’t know! Council demands?” I guessed with a grimace.

Peggy raised her eyebrows at me and I looked back down at my screen, knowing the answer was just a wild guess and that Peggy wouldn’t accept that without more details. They had definitely explained that in the last chapter and I’d just glossed over it, I needed to actually read it.

My wrist monitor buzzed with a message from Cas:

Hey. Everything’s fine, I just thought it might be a bad idea for us to be together again tonight what with everything that happened earlier…

I bit my lip looking at the message. He meant when we almost kissed at Chal’s. He was right, it was dangerous. We’d do a lot more than kiss and we couldn’t. Shouldn’t. Especially not in this dorm with everyone else here.

We really shouldn’t.

I flicked back to the last chapter, trying to concentrate on the explanation of the Lorvian’s inappropriate reaction to the Council’s request.

“Are your other dorm mates there tonight, Cory?” Burst out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

I regretted the question as soon as I asked it. It came out too loud and I knew I didn’t have the restraint to deal with the answer responsibly.

“No, they're both in with their crews I think. Octans moved in permanently a little while back but Rettie’s been staying in with their crew quite a bit recently.”

“Cool.”

I bit my lip.

I wanted to go see Cas, just to talk about what happened today and make sure things weren’t weird between us. Nothing needed to happen. Just a talk.

We could manage a talk without anything happening.

“I’m going to go for a walk,” I said, trying to sound as relaxed and natural as possible and failing.

“I’ll come?” Peggy offered.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m just going to clear my head.” I said too quickly, smiling as I walked out the door at what I thought was a normal speed.

I walked directly to Cas and Cory’s dorm room, my hands shaking with anxiety or maybe expectation.

It would be easy.

All I needed to say was ‘Cas, I like you a lot but we need to do what’s best for the crew and not be together’. I repeated that in my head over and over, trying to convince myself.

I found myself outside of their door much sooner than I expected but I paused, my hand raised to knock, trying to prepare myself. I didn’t want to just open it and surprise Cas.

Is that one of you outside? Cas asked, making me jump.

I cursed under my breath. The others would know that I went to see Cas now.

Yeah, just me. I replied and knocked quickly.

The door opened and I stepped inside, my eyes finding him immediately. He was topless again, I’d clearly interrupted him getting ready for bed.

“Is everything okay?” His eyebrows creased together as he stepped towards me.

“Yeah, fine… I just wanted to talk to you about earlier…”

I walked further into the room, stopping in front of Cas and trying to repeat what I had rehearsed in my head.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… It’s just… It seemed like we were going to kiss but umm…” I trailed off, acutely aware of how close I was standing to him again.

My brain stuttered to a halt as I tried to remind myself what it was that I had to say to him. Something about liking him a lot and being together…

“But?” He prompted, stepping even closer.

“But we shouldn’t.” My eyes were fixed on his lips and I found myself subconsciously licking mine.

“I know. We agreed not to.”

“For the crew.” It came out like a whisper.

“For the crew.” He agreed but he didn’t step back.

I didn’t either. I stayed where I was, my eyes flicking between his lips and his eyes.

“Cas…”

“Aries?” I watched his lips form my name, my heart pounding.

“We shouldn’t.” It sounded like a question.

“No. We shouldn’t…”

Neither of us spoke for a second.

“But…” I started before losing my nerve.

I bit my lip and saw Cas’ eyes follow the motion.

“But?”

“I want to.”

His lips curled up as he searched my face with his eyes.

“I want to too.”

My heart leapt at his admission and I couldn’t hold back any longer. My lips crashed against his and he kissed me back with equal hunger. My arms curled around his neck and my hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. He wrapped his arms around my waist, leading me backwards towards his bed. I went eagerly, never taking my lips off his for more than a second and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Our kisses were clumsy but still, I wanted more. His body was hot under my thighs and his mouth tasted like toothpaste. His hands came up to cup my face tenderly before dropping to my legs and slowly, teasingly, travelling up them until he was holding my hips. I kissed him greedily, years of need building up until I felt I could never stop. My hands explored his chest, tracing his scars, before my fingers moved lower across his stomach. I felt his muscles tense under my touch and my hands grew more confident. A moan escaped his throat and his grip on my hips tightened.

I smiled into the kiss. I wanted to make him moan again.

He broke the kiss, his lips moving down my neck. A shiver went through me and I found myself gripping his arms as the need grew stronger. Kissing was suddenly not enough. I needed more.

“Cas.”

It was a cross between a moan and a sigh.

“Do you want me to stop?” He whispered against my neck, his hands falling still.

“Gods, no.”

He chuckled throatily before kissing me again. His hands toyed with the bottom of my shirt. I knew what he wanted. I wanted it too. I sat back, pulling the shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor. Cas stared at me, his eyes roaming the exposed skin. I bit my lip, feeling vulnerable with just my bra and shorts on. I was just wearing my ugly usual one. If I’d planned ahead, I could have worn one of the nicer ones Gem, Peg and I picked up from Kuoner.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, his voice full of emotion.

I grinned and leaned down to kiss him again, shivering slightly at the feeling of my chest brushing against his through the thin fabric of my bra. His hands slowly moved from my hips, brushing along my waist and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. I pushed closer to him, wanting to feel more, wanting him to touch me more. He paused as his fingers brushed the bottom of my bra.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice husky.

I brought my hand to his, lifting it over my breast before dropping back down to grip his hair. I needed more. His fingers gently traced the lines of my bra causing another moan to escape me. I couldn’t help it. I ground my hips against Cas’, unable to stop myself. A strangled noise came out of him as one of his hands dropped to my hips, holding me tighter against him.

“Nik.” He whispered, thrusting his hips up against mine.

The burning in my stomach intensified, begging me to do something about it. My hands went to my shorts, starting to push them down. I needed this. We needed this.

Arie, are you sure? He asked, grinding his hips against me.

Yes, if you are? I panted, pulling his shorts down as far as I could reach.

He moaned in response, his hands going to my shorts, helping me to pull them down too.

Can you two keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep. Gem thought with an unmistakable smirk in her voice.

Cas’ hands froze against my naked hip as shock and embarrassment quashed any romantic feelings.

“Oh nik, I am so so sorry! I didn’t even think.” Cas said passionately.

I laughed breathlessly and rested my forehead against his, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Me either.”

His arms held me closely as we struggled to get our breathing back under control.

“That’s ruined the mood a bit, hasn’t it?”

An unexpected laugh tumbled from my mouth.

“Just a bit.”

“Do you want to stay here anyway?” His voice sounded uncertain.

I couldn’t imagine moving away from him.

“Yes.” I smiled as I felt the tension in his arms relax slightly.

“It’s probably a good thing we were interrupted, right?”

I scrunched up my face in disagreement.

“Maybe.”

He chuckled gently, the sound rumbling against my chest.

“I should probably get off you… Right?”

He chuckled again.

“Probably a good idea. It’s kinda hard to stop myself from kissing you when you’re still on top of me.”

I bit my lip as I debated kissing him again anyway but eventually I climbed off him and curled up next to him. His arm slid under my head and he rolled, wrapping his other arm around my stomach. I shivered at the touch and laced my fingers through his to stop myself from doing anything else. I think it was a long time before either of us fell asleep but I slept so well that night, safe in Cas’ arms.