My heart raced as I glanced around the room. It looked pretty similar to the gym changing rooms back at the base with a changing area, individual shower cubicles with white grubby curtains pulled across them and lockers lining the walls.

The bumpy rubber floor felt weirdly warm and damp under my feet like the room had recently been used. It seemed empty but there could have easily been more Guardians hiding in the cubicles.

“What are we doing here?” My voice sounded unsteady.

I was still expecting to be punished for disrespecting the Councillor.

“You’re having a shower. We thought this might be nicer than the other shower room. We usually get hot water here.”

My breath hitched at the thought of a warm shower. Every shower we’d had since we’d arrive at the jail had been ice cold and there was never any privacy.

“Why?” I asked, waiting for the catch.

Surely, they wouldn’t risk it for nothing? They had to expect something in return.

The Guardians looked at each other.

“Some of us don’t believe you should be prisoners.” One said slowly.

“What do you believe?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

They glanced around nervously.

“We believe the Council were wrong.” Their voice was quiet as if they were worried about being overheard.

I nodded once. It was dangerous for them to say that. It felt less like a trick orchestrated by the Council now. They’d never admit they were wrong.

One of them handed me a towel from the pile on the bench and I took it, walking towards the shower cubicles and watching them in the mirror. They weren’t moving. One of them didn’t even seem to be looking at me.

Apparently, they don’t believe we’re evil…. And they said the showers here have hot water.

Really? Peggy sounded hopeful but I wasn’t sure if it was about the hot water or people not thinking we’re evil.

I’ll let you know in a second.

Stay alert, just because they haven't done anything yet doesn't mean they won’t. Cas warned darkly, still sounding scared.

Noted. I replied pulling the shower curtain closed behind me.

I turned, my heart leaping to my throat as a movement caught my eye but it was just my reflection. I hadn’t seen myself since we’d gotten there. I knew it wouldn’t be a good sight but it still made me wince.

My cheekbones jutted out of my face and the harsh light in the room emphasised the dark bruises under my eyes. I tore my gaze away from my face, unable to look at it for any longer and peered around the cubicle. It was exactly like the one at the base. A shower head jotted out of the wall with a lever to control the temperature, the markings on it rubbed off long ago and, just like back home, a bench sat against one wall with small puddles of water from whoever showered last.

I didn’t think I’d miss the changing rooms at the base, considering the musty smell that always permeated the room, but I did. It was weird to me too.

I dropped the towel on the bench, careful to avoid the puddles and gingerly pulled my scrub top and bra over my head and dropped them beside the towel. Turning slightly to avoid seeing my reflection, I undid the string on my trousers and took them off too. A blast of ice-cold water cascaded down as soon as I turned the shower handle and I jumped back to avoid it. I wasn’t quite quick enough, freezing water soaked me and forced the air from my lungs. I looked up, my shocked face staring back at me in the mirror. I’d been trying not to look in the mirror before but I must have turned when I jumped and now I found that I couldn’t look away. I looked like a badly painted caricature of a person.

The muscles I had worked so hard for were now gone. Instead, my bones bulged out of my skin and bruises decorated my torso and created a grotesque tapestry of suffering. Dark colours wrapped over my shoulders reaching downwards along my arms where fingerprints, probably from being dragged, were visible. A clear boot print decorated my thigh and was obvious on my foot. I didn’t even remember them stepping on my foot but the dark purple discolouration and swelling gave it away.

I smiled sadly at my reflection. It was probably the most broken I’d looked in a long time. Maybe since before I came to the base. No. I don’t think so. I probably looked worse at that moment as I huddled fearfully away from the shower.

Steam wafted in front of my vision and tempted me away from the mirror. I stepped under the stray, shuddering as the water hit me.

There definitely is hot water. I told my crew as I forced myself not to step back. Really hot.

The water scalded my skin, turning it bright red but still, I didn’t change the temperature. It danced along my body, washing away some of the unhappiness and making me feel more awake than I had in months. I revealed in the feeling, staying under the spray for far too long, only stepping out once my hands and feet were wrinkled. I slowly towelled off, dabbing delicately at my ribs and unable to lift my arms high enough to dry my hair before wrapping the towel around me and stepping out of the cubicle.

I think I’m okay. I don’t think they plan on hurting us.

Stay vigilant, they still might. Just come back to us, please, Cas begged.

The Guardians were sitting on the low benches with their helmets removed. I felt uncomfortable interrupting them but I needed to get dressed.

“Should I put my old scrubs on or are there new ones?” I asked, awkwardly clutching the towel to my body.

They both looked up when I spoke and I was shocked to see how young they looked. They looked similar and had matching hairstyles, short and shaved at the edges but longer on top but the main difference was their scars. The masculine-looking Guardian had thick scars along one side of their face, all the way to his chin but the feminine-looking Guardian’s scars started on her cheek and continued past her hairline. I wondered what could have happened to them to have gotten scars like that. It looked like they’d been slashed by a wild animal but Nova didn’t have any and Guardians were rarely sent off-planet. I almost wanted to ask them but I didn’t want to be rude. Plus, the guy spoke before I could.

“You’ve got new scrubs on that dresser there.” He gestured to the bench on my right, his eyes fixed respectfully on the floor.

His accent was different without the helmet on, more pronounced. He wasn’t from the Capital originally, that much was clear. It sounded like a Nova accent but he could have been from another planet.

I grabbed the scrubs and hurried back to the cubicle to put them on. They were slightly different to the ones we’d been wearing before, these were long-sleeved, dark blue, more fitted and made of a thicker material, almost padded, so they hid the fact I’d lost so much weight. They made me look almost normal again.

I stepped out of the cubicle again, holding my bundle of towels and dirty clothes under my arm.

“Are you ready to go back?” One of the Guardians asked, holding out their arms to take it from me.

I nodded and handed them over, waiting as the Guardians stretched and put their helmets on before leading me back to my room.

The corridor was cold under my feet and it was almost a relief to get back to my cell where I could sit on the bed which offered some protection from the cold. I stepped inside and turned to thank them. I’d expected them to be waiting by my door but my heart started pounding as I realised they were right behind me. I stumbled back, my hands reflectively coming up to protect my face.

“Don’t eat the dinner. If we can bring something else, we will but don’t eat the veg mash.” They warned me, their voice low and intense.

“Okay?” I replied, my startled reflection staring back at me from their mask.

They stepped away from me, leaving my room without another word. The door banged loudly as they slammed it shut leaving me in a confused silence.

That was weird. They told me not to eat the dinner. I thought to the others, hoping they could make more sense of the situation.

It’s probably drugged. I think I’m being taken to the showers now. I heard Cas’ footsteps move past my door as he thought to us.

That would make sense! I heard rumours that they did that before major trials to make the people seem docile and not complain about their treatment or their verdict… I never believed it before but… I believe it now. Peggy said bleakly.

I nodded. It would make sense. I wouldn’t have believed the Council would do something like that before either but now I did.

Gem laughed to us, breaking me out of my worried thoughts. Thank the gods you’ve spent so much time on the illegal message boards, Peg! We’d be lost without you.

I waited anxiously for all of my crew to shower and be returned to their cells before feeling able to relax slightly. The trial was tomorrow. Then, we’d finally be free. Or spending the rest of our lives rotting in a Council jail but hey, at least we’d probably be able to see each other? They wouldn't keep us in solitary confinement for the rest of our lives, would they?

I liked to think that they wouldn’t but I honestly don’t know any more.

Dinner, I think. Cas warned.

I leant forwards, listening harder and hearing the telltale whisper of the lift doors opening.

Remember what they said, don’t eat the mush. I reminded them.

You don’t need to warn me twice, that stuff tastes like shit.

I rolled my eyes at Cas, knowing he wouldn’t be able to tell but still doing it anyway. Ever since Gem came back I’d felt lighter, happier. It was probably the knowledge that I hadn’t killed one of my best friends. It also helped to know that people had been protesting for us.

Because of us.

I bet the Council hated that so much. They probably hated us more because of it but with the eyes of the world on us surely they couldn’t be too cruel… right? Or maybe they’d be worse. Maybe, they’d want to send a message. I remember worrying about that then but somehow convincing myself that we would be safe. I know better now. They’ll never let us be free.

The loud rattle of keys outside my door jolted me from my thoughts and I sat back against the wall, waiting. Again, they didn’t order me against to get into position to be searched, they just came into the room watching carefully.

“Dinner time.” The Guardian said more loudly than normal, holding a tray out to me.

It sounded like the same Guardian as before but I couldn't be sure. They all sounded so similar.

“Thanks. It looks delicious.” I said sarcastically, knowing that if it was the same Guardians as earlier they wouldn’t hit me but if it was any other, they probably would.

There was probably a safer way to check if it was the same Guardian but I couldn’t think of anything and didn’t care enough to try.

They hovered in the door, watching as I placed the tray on the floor in front of me.

“Can I help you?” I asked as they continued to stand there.

They looked back at the other Guardian who was waiting in the corridor then back towards me.

“Do you need anything else?”

I felt the sarcasm welling up in me but I didn’t care to stop it.

“Well, some dessert would be nice.”

“We’ll see what we can do.” They said, closing the door rapidly behind them.

I can’t work out if they're waiting to see if we eat it or hoping we don’t. I thought, still eyeing the door.

Well, I guess we’ll see if they bring any other food like they said they would earlier? Peggy replied.

I hope so, I’m starving. What do we do with this? Cas asked.

I lifted the tray closer to my nose and breathed in. At first, it didn’t smell any different to how it normally smelt. Earthy and boring. But there was a slight sharpness to it. That was certainly new. It smelt almost similar to the sleeping tablets Peggy used to take but more dangerous somehow? If something can smell dangerous, that is.

It’s definitely drugged, isn’t it? I asked.

Yes. Peggy replied too quickly.

What’s in it? I don’t recognise it. Cory thought.

I do.

I waited for Peggy to continue but she didn’t. My eyebrows due together in confusion as I tried to work out how Peggy would recognise this drug but Cory wouldn’t. She hadn’t spent anywhere near as much time in the medbay as him.

What is it, Peg? I prompted.

Not good. We need to get rid of it. Now. Her thought was abrupt, forceful.

I looked around the room. How could I get rid of it? My eyes landed on the toilet.

Can we flush it do you think?

Yes. I’m doing it now. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go down properly, we just can’t eat any of it.

I moved as quickly as I could, spurred on by Peggy’s uncharacteristically assertive tone and scraped the mush into the toilet where it landed with a disgusting plop, splashing water up towards me. I watched as it swirled, disappearing from sight and leaving a smear on the bottom of the bowl.

It’s gone. I said.

I’ve flushed it too.

Me too.

I did too. Are you okay, Peggy? Gem asked gently.

I’m fine. It’s gone. She was quiet now, almost shaky.

What was it? I asked, still trying to work out why it had affected Peggy so much.

It was… nothing.

My face screwed up but I didn’t push it any further. Looking back, I’m ashamed of how long it took me to realise. I guess even then I didn’t think the Council would stoop so low as to try to give us the drug that Peggy’s parents overdosed on but now I’m not so surprised.

Oh shit, I’m so sorry Peg. Are you okay?

It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.

She didn’t say anything more and I didn’t either. She hated talking about her family. The lift doors sounded again and I lay back on my mattress, not willing to get up again.

They went to Cas’ room first and I listened carefully as footsteps entered his room before retreating again and stopping outside of mine.

Anything good? I asked as the keys scraped against the lock.

You’ll see. I could hear the smile in his voice.

Sitting up intrigued, I watched as the door opened and a Guardian walked in holding something carefully in their hands.

“Sorry. We couldn’t bring anything else.” They muttered quietly holding out the small foil packet.

I took it, staring down at the misshapen and partially melted bar in wonder.

It was a chocolate bar. Not one of the crappy ones you got from the shops on this planet. A good one. Real cocoa. Real sugar. One that you had to get either from another planet with less strict sugar regulations or order specially. And they were giving it to us.

“Thank you.”

“That’s alright. We also have some painkillers…” They held out the sealed packet to me.

I opened them, sniffing cautiously. They smelt just like the ones we’d had at the base before so I swallowed them quickly, feeling them stick in my throat.

“We’re on shift in the morning as well so we’ll be taking you to your trial.”

I nodded, unable to speak and still trying to swallow them down as my stomach tightening in hunger and worry.

The Guardian came closer, leaning down over me.

“Make it look like you slept well tonight. Act tired tomorrow.” They muttered.

I stared back at them before nodding again.

It was a good reminder. They must at least think we might have been drugged otherwise they’d know that some of the Guardians were on our side and that could be dangerous for them.

We have to act drugged. Tired and drowsy tomorrow. I ordered my crew.

We can do that.

I ripped open the chocolate bar, breathing in deeply. It smelt so good. Rich, creamy and sweet. I bit into it, feeling it melt over my tongue and coat my mouth.

God, I’ve missed chocolate. Gem moaned happily.

As soon as we’re out, we’ll get more. Cas promised.