I felt safe. There was a moment when we were flying towards Andy’s ship, encircled by Tuc and Gem, where I actually felt safe. I made the mistake of allowing myself to feel hope. Hope that we’d get there and be safe.

I should have known better.

Every time I let myself feel hope something terrible happened that washes it all away. I go wildly back and forth between thinking it was my fault and thinking it was the Council’s fault. One of the ships that Aquila had called in as emergency backup got around to the back of the ships surrounding us. Lep took them down quickly but the damage had already been done. The volley of shots they’d fired had reached us. It was too late.

I don’t blame Aquila, although I know some people do. It wasn’t her fault. It was an emergency situation, she called in everyone she could have. I would have done the same. I blame the Council.

They’re insidious. They somehow worm their way into every single place they can. If you have even the smallest amount of doubt, they will find it and manipulate you with it. I’ve seen it happen. They promise people everything, wealth, happiness and even freedom, but the moment they get what they need, they have no use for you. Why would they fulfil those promises if they didn’t have to? They’re too greedy for that. The only thing they care about is staying in power and destroying everyone who opposes them.

Sorry. I’m doing it again, I know I am. It’s strangely difficult to write something you’ve seen a million times in your dreams. It’s become so warped in my mind that I almost don’t remember what actually happened and what is just my brain messing with me.

Sorry.

We were almost at the ship when it happened. Everything was fine, we were moving quickly and Gem was smiling down at Peggy and then my world fractured. Gem’s body shuddered from impact and we were thrown off-course. Tuc reacted quicker than any of us could, gripping Gem’s arm and spinning us around so that his back was to the ship that was firing at us.

Heat seared my back but I couldn’t take my eyes off Gem’s panicked, pained face. I let go of Peg with one arm and fought to hold onto both Tuc and Gem.

Unlike when she’d had been injured during the Irision mission, this time Gem wasn’t silent. Her tortured cries echoed over the comms, drowning out all of the other voices. A flash came from above us as Lep dealt with the traitorous ship swiftly and without mercy but I couldn’t look away.

Somehow, they still managed to get us to the ship. They both fought so hard to stay conscious and get us there safely. We collapsed into the airlock in a shaking heap and I didn’t dare move as the doors opened and Cory ran into the space. Andy followed closely behind him, his face pale behind his helmet.

“Get them into the bay! Ursa, Vel, help move them!” he commanded as Cory gently disengaged us and rolled Gem onto the first hover-stretcher.

Her sharp shriek of agony seared straight into my soul and I could see how much Cory wanted to immediately start working on her but he pushed her towards Vel.

“Move her out into the bay!” he ordered, turning back to us.

Andy gently touched Peggy’s shoulder.

“Peggy, can you hear me?” he said softly before repeating the question louder.

“She’s passed out. Her vitals are weak but she seems okay,” Cory said rapidly, checking the small screen he had strapped to his forearm.

Andy nodded and rolled her carefully onto another stretcher.

With her weight off my legs, I started to sit up, stopping in confusion when Cory placed a hand on my arm

“Aries, your vitals are all over the place and your scanner isn’t working properly. Do you feel any injuries?” he asked.

“No!” I said. “Let me get up, we need to help the others!”

I honestly didn’t feel my injury at that point. I think it must have been the adrenaline. I know now I should have felt the searing pain in my back but I didn’t. My mind was too occupied by fear.

“I’m fine!” I cried when Andy and Cory brought a holo-stretcher, fighting to get up so that they could get to Tuc. “Help the others!”

Desperate sobs rose up in my throat and I couldn’t stop them from spilling out. I knew it was bad.

“Please. Just help the others,” I sobbed, pushing myself away from them and Tuc. “Please.”

Cory glanced at Andy uncertainly. He checked the screen, clearly checking my vitals against Tuc and Gem’s to decide if he needed to insist but I knew they were the priority. The wetness I could feel dripping down my back was unimportant compared to the others and the auto-seal on the suit would conceal all injury.

“Okay, Cory, help me get Tuc into the bay,” Andy said, looking down at Tuc’s motionless body. “Tuc, can you hear me? We’re about to move you.”

My whole body seized with anxiety as I waited to hear Tuc’s response.

“Do your worst, doc,” he said weakly, none of his usual jokiness present.

I saw the fear register on Andy’s face as they moved him and I forced myself to follow them into the bay, my legs shaking and my head swimming.

My heart dropped when I saw Gem. Ursa had cut her suit open and rolled her onto her front. Her back was a bloody, mangled mess.

I should have known how bad it was because neither Andy nor Cory moved for a moment as they surveyed the damage silently.

“Do you want to work on her or shall I?” Andy asked quietly.

“I… I need to,” was Cory’s choked reply.

“Alright. Ursa, assist him. Fornax, take over piloting. Shield for as long as we can and when Aquila says, get us to the nearest medical facility. Vela, help me,” Andy instructed.

He sounded calm and in control but I saw the slight tremor in his hands as he started to disengage his gloves and helmet. Cory did the same, throwing them aside and spraying Gem down with anaesthesia and disinfectant.

She cried out loudly in pain.

“I’m sorry, it’ll kick in soon and then you won’t feel anything, I promise!” Cory cried, his face white with fear.

I backed away from her pain, wanting to help but feeling so powerless. Cory already had Ursa assisting him, Andy had Vela. There was nothing I could do. My eyes fell on Cas in the pod opposite me. Tears were shining in his eyes but his face was determined as he fired endless on the Council ships.

I could still help.

Ursa, Vela and Gem’s pods were still empty. I was a good gunner. I could do something.

I forced myself away from the wall I was standing again, the effort of moving and the scent of blood making me dizzy as I stumbled towards the nearest vacant pod. Dropping into the seat ripped the air from my lungs as I became painfully aware of the injury to my back. Blistering pain tore along my skin and for a moment I was immobilised by it but, as tears slipped down my skin, I forced myself to focus on the screen before me.

What looked like hundreds of ships were still approaching. Some were aiming for the smaller Freo ships that were painstakingly picking them off but the majority were still speeding towards us. With great difficulty, I raised a shaking hand to the joystick on my left, the other closing weakly around the joystick on my right. Forcing a deep breath, I begged my eyes to focus and started firing.