My mouth fell open and I didn’t know what to say. My head spun and I couldn’t make his question make sense.

“Aries,” he prompted softly. “What if you could leave?”

I shook my head, confusion washing over me.

“But… We can’t. We have nowhere to go. The Council will chase us wherever we go,” I said. “And Freo needs us.”

Anger flickered over Chal’s face so quickly I wasn’t sure if I saw it.

“Freo is not your problem. You’re a kid, this isn’t your fight! You should be somewhere safe, not constantly putting your life in danger.”

My mouth dropped open again and I blinked dumbly.

“But, it is. It’s my fault that the Council are hunting us, it’s my fault that so many people are suffering!” I started.

“No!” he shouted, slamming his hand on his desk and sending screens flying.

I shrunk back in my chair, scared by his sudden loss of control.

I’d never seen him look so angry before and it was terrifying. I didn’t know how to respond as he clenched his jaw and took a few steadying breaths.

“You are children,” he ground out. “You’re barely sixteen and the future of the universe has been put on you. It shouldn’t have been. None of this should have ever been put on you. The fight has been going on since before you were even born and the Captain is taking advantage of your situation to further her own cause.”

I let out a shaky breath, unable to respond.

His words made me uncomfortable and I wasn’t sure if they were true or not. The fight had been going on for a long time, I knew that but Aquila was doing the right thing. She was trying to free people from the Council’s reign.

Or, at least, I thought she was but now fear rushed through me. What if we were trading Harvey and the rest of the Councillors for another group of dictators? She’d always been kind enough to me and Andy trusted her but what if Chal was right? Could she be worse? Andy wouldn’t let that happen, would he?

My tongue darted out to wet my dry, cracked lips.

“She’s… she’s trying to free people from the Council, isn’t she?” I asked hoarsely.

“She is,” Chal allowed, “but she shouldn’t be involving you in this. Andy should have protected you more. You don’t need to do this, Aries. You could go somewhere safe.”

His tone was almost pleading. He didn’t want me there.

“With the Council in charge, I don’t think there’s anywhere safe for us. You’ve not seen what Harvey is like around Cas. He’ll hunt him to the ends of the universe. There’s nowhere we can go,” I said, shaking my head and looking down. “We need to stay here. We need to help.”

There was nothing else I could do. Despite his words, guilt clenched my heart. It was my fault. My actions had directly caused death. If I’d acted quicker or been smarter, we could have escaped the base before Peggy was taken. If I’d just been thinking clearly or had been better, Freo wouldn’t have had to send fighters to attack the Council Headquarters and they wouldn’t have died.

We would have never had to meet with the Council to get her back, so many deaths could have been avoided.

But, they weren’t.

People died because of me and my bad decisions. I needed to make it up to their families and the ones they left behind. I had to make sure that their deaths meant something.

“There are people I know who could help hide you. Get you a ship and supplies. You, Cas, Peggy and Cory could have your own ship and be completely safe away from everyone else. Or, there are some faraway planets that are out of the Council’s reach where you could live. I could help you get there,” he offered softly. “You don’t need to lose anyone else in this fight.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly thick with emotion.

I couldn’t lose anyone else. I wouldn’t be able to cope. It would shatter me and I would never recover.

We should have gone but I couldn’t. I was too weak.

If I stepped back now or ran and hid… More people would die and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. At least if I helped, I could do something maybe. Hells, I wouldn’t even know if people were dying if I ran. I would just be trapped in a constant state of worry and fear.

Guilt would consume me. It wasn’t an option.

But the others had already suffered enough. I couldn’t force them to stay just because I was too weak to walk away.

“You’re going to stay, aren’t you?” Chal asked.

He sounded almost disappointed and I couldn’t bring myself to speak so I just nodded.

A sigh slipped out of his mouth.

“At least speak to the others. Let them know you won’t hold it against them if they go?”

“Of course,” I said immediately. “I would never blame them for it.”

I paused, my thoughts racing.

I wanted them to go. I wish that they had. If they left, then they’d be safe. They wouldn’t have had to suffer so much.

They would have all survived.

“Chal… I want them to go,” I said softly. “How can I convince them?”

His disappointed expression broke into a sad smile.

“You can’t. You can try but ultimately, it needs to be their decision. Just like with you.”

I closed my eyes to try and stop my tears.

“What if they won’t go?” I asked.

I felt young. Like a child looking for help and comfort and for once, I had someone to turn to.

“Then, you’ll do your best to protect them and I will too. Aries, I might not agree with your decision to stay because I want you to be safe but I know you’ll do everything you can to help them. You always have.”

His gentle tone caused a crack to open up on my heart and unleashed an almost overpowering wave of sadness.

“But it wasn’t enough. She still died.” I couldn’t bring myself to say her name.

Chal sighed heavily.

“I know. Sometimes our best isn’t good enough and that’s hard to deal with. Pretty much impossible sometimes but it wasn’t your fault and you’ll learn from it.”

I swallowed, staring at the blank screen on the back wall as tears slipped down my face.

I couldn’t meet his soft gaze, it would send me into unstoppable tears. All I could do was stare at the wall and wrestle my emotions back under control.

After an unknown amount of time, my tears dried and Chal smiled at me.

“See. You’ll be alright, you always will be.”

I bit my lip to stop his words from making me cry again and forced myself to nod.

“Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” I asked, wiping my face to erase any trace of tears.

“That was it,” he said gently.

I nodded.

“Go speak to the others. See what they want to do,” he prompted.

I nodded again and stood up before glancing back at him.

“Thank you,” I said. “For the offer and for everything.”

He smiled somewhat sadly.

“The offer always stands. If you change your mind and want out, come see me or ping me and I’ll find a way. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said, starting to turn again.

“Aries,” he called me back. “I know you will but promise me you’ll try. You’ll tell the others they can go?”

I nodded.

“I promise.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else tonight.”

“I will.”

I slipped out the door and paused for a minute, gathering my strength and wiping my face again before setting off down the corridor towards our room. I had to pause outside the room too. I didn’t feel emotionally ready to face them but I knew that I had to.

I waved my hand in front of the scanner and waited for it to open before slipping inside.

Cas had been reclining in his usual chair in between our beds but he sat up as soon as he saw me.

“Hey, I was just about to message you,” Cas started before he noticed the expression on my face and his eyebrows creased. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I forced myself to say in a semi-upbeat tone. “Chal asked me for a word in his office when I came back.”

“Everything alright?” Cas asked, his eyes flicking towards where Peggy was lying in her bed, her eyes softly closed.

She was sleeping almost peacefully.

“Yeah, fine. I’m just going to shower and get ready to bed,” I said, directing my chair to the edge of the room and putting the breaks on.

I hauled myself out of it, standing slowly and carefully to avoid ripping the delicate skin on my back.

“Do you need any help in there?” Cas asked worriedly.

My lips rose in a smile.

“I should be alright. Plus, I don’t want to leave Peggy alone in case she wakes up.”

He nodded, glancing back at her.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he said.

“Always,” I smiled.

He returned it before looking away, the smile dropping off his face.

I swallowed as worry and sadness threatened to consume me, and crossed to the bathroom. I moved as quickly as I could, walking over to the shower and turning it on before I let myself fall to the floor as tears threatened to overwhelm me.