I know I didn’t. I didn’t fail him by letting him live but I honestly felt like I had.

He wanted to die. He wanted to be with Gem again. He would have been happy to give up his life for us but it wasn’t right. His injury wasn’t life-threatening. It was bad but it was treatable. Hell, even without proper treatment, he probably would have survived.

It wasn’t his time. That’s what I kept telling myself in the following weeks when he didn’t even get out of bed or talk to us. He spent his time just locked in his own thoughts, staring at the ceiling and silently wishing for death.

Sometimes not even silently.

I heard him at night sometimes. When it was my shift to stay awake with him, I’d hear him softly pray, begging for death.

It broke my heart every time and I tried to talk to him about it but he just didn’t want to. We tried to talk to him, tried to drag him to the therapist or psychiatrist. We even brought them to him but he refused to talk. He refused everything.

There was nothing they could do. He wasn’t posing a risk to himself or us, he was still eating, still drinking, not much but he was doing it. They couldn’t force him to have medication to help or anything. We just had to sit there and watch as he became more and more withdrawn.

Basically everyone tried talking to him. Andy came down and sat with him for a while. He came down every day actually even though I think it broke his heart.

It was Chal actually who got through to him finally. He’d spent enough time with us all to know how to get through to him. I’m not sure what he said exactly but one day, he walked into the room, laden down with screens, and ordered us all out.

Peggy had been the one who was meant to be keeping an eye on him at that time but Chal had ordered her out too.

I wanted to listen in to what he was saying, to make sure that Cory was okay but he’d soundproofed the room and ordered us to go for lunch. We ate tastelessly and hurried back to them and by the time we got back, Cory was sitting with a patient, a screen in his hand and Chal was standing over them both watching carefully.

He’d gestured when we walked in to stop and listen but not get involved and I’ll be completely honest, I cried as I listened. He sounded almost back to normal. His voice was a little unsteady from weeks of not talking and he was sitting in a chair rather than standing which is how he normally spoke to patients but… he was back.

He even smiled when he saw us again.

The food Cas had brought back for him was cold by the time he’d finished talking to Vina, one of the Irisians that the fighters had rescued, but Cory ate it with vigour.

He started speaking to us again, slowly but surely.

I think it was difficult for him at first. He was embarrassed by how he’d acted, no matter how much we tried to reassure him that he didn’t need to be. He refused to look us in the eyes and would break off mid-sentence, as if reminded of something but finally, he asked if we could call Hila, the ship therapist, to come and talk to him. Then, immediately after that, when he emerged, his cheeks stained with tears, he asked to speak to the Psychiatrist.

She was great. She came up with a medication regime and a plan of action straight away, made sure that Cory was happy with it and then got him his pills.

It took a little while for him to start to feel better, I think, and it was a struggle but he started working again. It was a lot better that time. He worked fairly reasonable hours, tried to get enough sleep and actually went to Chal for medication when he couldn’t sleep.

And, one day, he even thanked me. The words were so soft, long after everyone else had fallen asleep.

At first, I wasn’t sure if he’d even spoken but finally, I whispered back, “I’m glad you’re still here.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to him or how to answer. I wanted to tell him that he was one of my best friends, basically my brother, integral to the crew and that I loved him but I couldn’t phrase it. I hope it was enough.

He smiled slightly so I think it was.

I’m glad that he was starting to become more and more himself because it was the next morning that we got the alert.

Andy and Aquila called us to the war rooms early the next morning and Cory was up and ready to go faster than any of us. With his renewed liveliness came something else. A renewed hatred of the Council.

Obviously, we all hated them but he hated them so much. He, like Peggy, wanted them to suffer. To burn for what they had down.

I fought not to run through the medBay, the urge stronger than ever.

We’d been trying to track the Council ship for weeks whilst keeping an eye on Nova and all of the other planets that the Council had suddenly abandoned. It was draining. There was so much going on but it had been a while since they called us all down. We knew that it had to be something big, something either scary or exciting, and I felt sick with nervous anticipation.

What if we hadn’t found them but they’d found us? What if the Council and all of the Guardians who they’d forced to join them on their war ship were on their way to hunt us down?

Would Freo withstand that?

Chal joined us as we raced towards the rooms, shooting us a surprisingly relaxed smile as he sauntered along. We slowed to match his pace but it took everything I had not to urge him to move faster.

“Good morning, you lot. Sleep well?” he asked, looking at Cory.

“Pretty well,” he replied quickly. “How about yourself?”

“As well as ever,” Chal sent back with another smile which Cory returned.

“You’re awfully chipper for how early it is,” Peggy noted suspiciously.

Chal nodded slightly and glanced at one of his mini-screens.

“Is that right?” he mused cryptically.

I felt my eyebrows furrow.

“You know what this is about, don’t you?” I asked.

He shot me a wide grin.

“Oh, don’t I just?”

“What’s happening?” I asked as we turned the final corner and the thick doors came into view.

“You’ll find out soon,” was all he said.

But it wasn’t enough to help my anxiety.

“Chal,” I said softly. “Good news or bad news?”

His grin widened even more somehow.

“Depends who you’re asking but… good news for us. Pretty bad news for the Council.”

I nodded and let out the breath I had been holding.

“How good?” Cory asked, leaning forwards slightly as we waited for the door to open.

“I won’t ruin the surprise for you but… things are about to get even more interesting.”