《Playing with the Dead: The Dark Art of Bullshit》The Sign - CH 31
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“Come back here! Stay and fight me. Running is for cowards! I’ll find you eventually.” yelled Dren, whose deep voice echoed through out the halls.
Rose and I ran down the winding corridors until our lungs hurt and desperately begged for air. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, sweat poured out of my skin, exhaustion took hold of my thoughts. I felt like prey scrambling to escape a rather large two-headed hydra. After a short break, we kept running, traveling deeper and deeper into the Nosturdam dungeon.
Eventually, we came across a wooden sign that looked slightly newer than old walls and extensive cobwebs that Nancy had neglected to clean.
The sign read: Warning! Beyond this point is unknown and should absolutely not be traversed by anyone, including but not limited to Employees of Nosturdam, Eldritch Horrors, Escaped Prisoners, or even the Mayor of the City. All liability protections will be voided if you step to the other side of this sign. Beware the Lawyers.
Rose looked at me and I looked at her. We stepped past the sign, leaned against the wall to catch our breath. I felt a ring of mana shoot out of the sign. It wrapped itself around my ankle, not moving. While Rose also happened to get tagged, she didn’t notice the mana hugging onto her ankle.
Dren’s footsteps grew louder as he caught up to the two of us. Spit drooled out of his open mouth and his bloodshot eyes indicated that the serum he drank had not worn off. He tensed his muscles and punched the wall in frustration, chipping the stone as if it was brittle glass.
“You can’t hide behind that sign forever! I’ve got all the time in the world to wait for you liable prisoners to walk back to me,” Dren growled.
“Why don’t you come here and arrest us yourself? Or are you a coward?”
“I’m not a fool. I’d like to keep my pension and my job. Trust me, the lawyers you face will make you wish you were dead, yet you’ll be contractually obligated to live. I’m afraid that I can’t save you from the fate that awaits you. Nancy, come get these prisoners!”
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The war golem hurried down the tunnel, until it stood just a few steps away from the warning sign. It was as if an invisible barrier kept it from ripping off my head.
“Go get them, Nancy. You can probably just reach over and grab them. I’m sure it doesn’t count if your feet don't cross the line.”
Nancy shook her head. Even a war golem didn't want to deal with lawyers. Sure, you’d murder about two or three before they’d appeal to the higher courts, but lawyers were near infinite in number. Where one lawyer’s head exploded into mushy red slime, another lawyer was lurking in the shadows ready to capitalize on a mass tort lawsuit.
It turned out that signs and legal threats were the ultimate deterrent. While it was possible to debate whether an iron bar should be able to keep you inside, there was nothing as ironclad as the legal system of the city. No amount of strength potion was going to keep you alive when a gaggle of lawyers ambushed you.
A sign of such caliber and strength begged the question of what exactly was down in the depths of Nosturdam. Something was down there, something that the city leaders didn’t want interacting with anyone. That presented a dilemma.
In our adrenaline fueled state, Rose and I had unknowingly crossed the sign and would have to deal with consequences if we turned around and left with Dren. We’d be locked back up for eternity and punished in some form, that much I knew. The journey into the depths of the unknown was also likely a death sentence, but there was a chance of survival, perhaps even another way out of the dungeon. Frankly, we had nothing to lose.
Azog would have to wait a little bit longer before we saved him. We had to save ourselves first.
“Rose, let's leave this loser behind and descend further into the dungeon.”
“No, don’t do that! You’ll get us all in trouble with your crazy thoughts and actions! Think reasonably Prisoner.”
“But what about the sign? It was fairly threatening.” Rose worried.
“It’s too late for us. We’ve already passed it, and nowhere on the sign says there will be any leeway if we turn back. I know it’ll be dangerous, but I’m certain we’ll make it out alive. Maybe we’ll find a way to avoid the courts. There’s a secret down there waiting to be uncovered.”
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“I guess we have no choice.”
“Stop monologuing and get back here, both of you! Do you hear the nonsense coming out of your mouths?” Dren shouted angrily. He staggered back as the potions began reverting. The backlash was evident.
My anger got the better of me and I thought about doing something stupid. In front of me stood a selfish man who locked up innocent people through his negligence and a lack of empathy. I could see the potion’s effect waning. With the war golem unable to cross the barrier, my confidence was growing. The temptation was too enticing as Dren walked next to the line and pointed his finger at me like I was a child that needed to be scolded.
“Come back here or so help me the gods.” Dren sternly demanded.
I snapped. Faster than Dren could react, I reached over the line and snagged Dren’s outstretched hand. I yanked on it, pulling him past the warning sign. He tumbled to the floor.
“I’m going to tear your eyes from their sockets!” Dren yelled as he tackled me. We wrestled on the floor like two unfit men. I was not proud of wrestling a tired old man who was having a withdrawal. Sure, he deserved the knee to the groan and the headlock, but I had stooped to his level. I was less proud when he overpowered me and pinned me to the ground.
“Stop it, both of you! We're going to die. We are going to die!” screamed Rose, who was panicking.
Dren let go of the pin and picked himself up and dusted himself off. His disgust for me was evident on his face.
“I wish we were going to die. If we ever cross that line, Nancy will be forced to arrest us on the spot. You aren’t a man of the gods! Only a sick and twisted person would pull someone over the sign.”
Dren was hyperventilating.
“No. No. You’ve weaseled your way out of a lot of sticky situations, Dren. The accidental arrest of the prince, the fight with the demagorg, the impenetrable flesh goblin. Think, Dren. Find a solution.” Dren talked to himself.
I picked myself off of the floor and dusted myself off.
“Why’d you do that?” Rose scolded me.
“He deserved it. He was treating us like cattle in a pen. Someone had to drop him down a peg.”
“Well, now he’s our problem. We don’t know him and he’ll be following us down into the depths. I hope you sleep with one eye open, Arthur.”
“He wouldn’t slit our throats in our sleep. He needs us as much as we need him. Who knows what's lurking down here? He doesn’t. Three of us will be better than two. Maybe he’ll learn how to respect people.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t stoop to his level. Good people are meant to be better, to do better. We have the opportunity to do what’s right and you throw that all down the drain, the metaphorical drain.”
I let out a deep sigh.
“Aren’t you tired of them treating people like second class citizens? Just because he was born into a noble family and I was born out in the middle of nowhere shouldn’t mean I get disrespected. I’ve been disrespected and tossed around my whole life.”
Rose pursed her lips.
“You think it's any easier living as a noble? That people in the palace don’t play petty games and backstab each other. No place lacks bad people. It is up to us to set a good example and to be better. I made that mistake once and I’m not going to make it again.”
“Can you two stop the chatter? Nancy already left to go report the crime. I know there are some hard feelings and a bit of sexual tension between the three of us, but if we don’t go deeper into the dungeon before Nancy comes crawling back it’ll be all three of us behind iron bars.” interrupted Dren.
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