《Humans Must Adapt!》Chapter 38: Wealth and Gambling
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I can almost make out a voice speaking to me, but the searing light burns my eyes even with my eyelids clenched shut.
“AAAAA FUCK”
[Resistance Radiant 0 > 25]
“Sorry, I forgot how squishy mortals are.”
The feminine voice fills my ears as the pain searing in my eyes fades from my healing. The light dies down, but I refuse to open my eyes.
"Mortal, be glad that you are able to be within my divine presence. To start with, I wo-"
The flashbang of light that brought me off guard still lingers behind my eyes. I still have my hands clamped to my face as I writhe around.
"Can you stop that? You are totally messing up the vibe."
"WHAT WAS THAT LIGHT, HOLY SHIT."
"Such things are not holy. Open your eyes, mortal."
A wave of energy washed over me, I am cleansed of any filth and the pain in my body recedes.
I hesitantly open my eyes and I’m met with a breathtaking sight. I am on a golden platform tens of thousands of feet above the ground. Far from the mountains, overlooking the entire fracture from a satellite view. I looked over at the voice that spoke to me and noticed a woman looking bored.
She has hair as black as oil sliding down her body, encrusted with gold and jewels. She is seven feet tall but proportionally skinnier than me. She wears a pair of gold-rimmed glasses and a fancy suit.
“Who are you, and why do you look like a gender-bent version of my friend Charlie.”
“There are many answers to both of those questions. My physical body would instantly kill you, so I took on an appearance you would recognize. As for my name, many people call me Merita, the goddess of wealth.”
I don’t believe that she took on this appearance just for me. It wouldn’t matter what she looked like. If she was here physically, then I would die anyway. Why is my priority the reasoning behind her appearance and not the fact that I am face to face with an entity that claims that they are a goddess?
“Are you really Merita? The actual goddess that domains over money?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then what the fuck are you doing talking to me? Why did you bring me up here?”
I feel like I am going to short circuit. Not only is the fucking goddess of wealth in front of me, but she also looks like my friend.
“There are many reasons, young human. The first one is for me to thank you for helping the deal go through with the mortal you call Charlie. The second thing is to grab that little piece of metal.”
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“Was the deal that meaningful, to come personally to thank me? And the piece of metal is mine. I got it fair and square from killing that [Lightning Maiden].”
Goddess or not, that is my consolation prize for slaying my prey. I won’t let this scrap metal leave me.
“I will not get into the inner workings of the deal with that mortal, but even if the mortal Charlie would die, the deal would still go through. However, you destroying some corrupt follower of mine that tried to get their GRUBBY PAWS into MY DEAL is commendable.”
She lost her cool when she started talking about that casino boss. Her hair started moving in sync as her eyes turned a shade of gold. She clears her throat as she reigns in her emotion. She puts on a professional smile as she looks at me with greedy eyes.
“I wouldn’t dream of stealing something off you, my dear mortal. What do you take me for, the God of Pilfering? I am the Goddess of Deals, as well as money and gambling. I would like to make a deal with you.”
I back away from her a little bit. I am right on the edge of the platform. “Can you tell me what I am in possession of before we start this conversation? Not knowing what I have will let you manipulate what the value is without my knowledge. As you said, you are not the God of Pilfering.”
She smiles a little bit wider. “What you found there is a remnant of an old weapon that a dear friend of mine owned before she died. She was the Maiden of Storms and had a lance that could bring down the wrath of the heavens. Her weapon shattered into billions of pieces, most becoming inert. In rare cases like the one we have found ourselves in, they still hold a minuscule amount of power.”
“What if I just keep the fragment for myself? It seems to have the possibility of being an extremely potent weapon.”
“Ha Ha Ha. Good one, mortal. If you somehow manage to find enough pieces to get a working lance from the leftovers, I’ll give you my divine weapon also.” She wipes a ruby tear from her eye. “Not only did you get lucky that this fragment of the old world used to be owned by the late Maiden of the Storms, but you would also have to contend against the inheritor of her title for the little chips.”
“Then why do you want it? For a keepsake?”
“Looking into my reasons, are you? Well, I’ll tell you because you gave me a good laugh. You might not be able to do anything with it, but I can. I’m a literal Merchant Goddess. I can sell it to those who want it.”
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I ponder about the many things I want. Now it's time to barter with a god.
~
“How about gold bars totaling 10 billion dollars in your currency.” (Merita)
“No deal, the human economy is constantly fluctuating. Having that much money will instantly get the government to take most of it in 'taxes.' In addition, I have no means of storing gold. I do not trust banks. (Me)
“I will take a unique creature that I can raise into my tamed beast.” (Me)
“All the creatures I care about keeping are worth way more than that fragment. I can lend you great charisma for 10 years instead.” (Merita)
“If we are talking about stats, I want as many Luck stats as you can give me.” (Me)
“I’m the goddess of gambling, not luck. What do you take me for, a cheater?” (Merita)
“I can give you a decent position in my church. You don’t even need to worship me. Just follow the doctrine.” (Merita)
“Sounds like a trap. Can you bring my tamed beast up here so I can discuss it with her? She also might be worried if I am gone too long.” (Me)
“Sure, it will be done.” (Merita)
Duchess was left behind on the mountain after the goddess beamed me up. A ray of golden light, less harsh than the one that enveloped me, shines on the platform. Duchess appears there confused.
[Ellis, what is going on. Where is -] (Duchess)
[Conditions Met:
Unlock Luck: Completed
Reach an Altitude of 50,000 feet: Completed
Consume a D-rank Crystal: Completed]
[Comensing Evolution to Winged Serpent.]
Hehe. I managed to scam the goddess into letting Duchess use the height of the platform for her evolving conditions. We are definitely way above 50,000 feet. Without this meeting, getting Duchess to evolve was going to be a pain in the ass.
A prismatic spray of light envelopes Duchess, forming into a feathered cocoon that envelops her. The multicolored feathers looked like the same colorful feathers that made up Duchess’ plume, just more prominent. I pick up the massive cocoon and hold it like a baby.
“...”
“Pull another fast one, and there will be no deals.” (Merita)
“Okay.” (Me)
“I don’t have all the time for a mortal. Hurry and give an offer that's worth my time.” (Merita)
“Goddess, you also have domain over gambling, correct?” (Me)
“Where is this question heading, mortal. You know of my domains already.” (Merita)
“I have a proposition that involves gambling rather than a deal.” (Me)
“Speak further.” (Merita)
“Since the price of the fragment cannot be measured in traditional means, I would rather use it as a token for a gamble.” (Me)
“Intriguing, What kind of gamble are you speaking of. Winner takes all? Double or nothing?” (Merita)
“Although those sound like fun, my shitty luck would make it that I gain nothing. I’m thinking of a prize wheel rather than a table to play on.” (Me)
Even a consolation prize from the goddess of wealth would be a great boon for me. Keeping hold of this fragment would paint a target on my back. The inheritor will definitely find me if the Goddess sells information about where the pieces are. We are both fussy with our deals, wanting to earn more than the other. Leaving it to chance is the best option right now.
She claims that she has no domain over luck. I hope she didn’t lie.
“A prize wheel… I can do a prize wheel.” (Merita)
The golden platform starts to shift and turn as the bottom half splits off and floats next to it. A ripple shrouded the gold as it changed into a wheel that bares text so tiny that I couldn’t read it.
The demeanor of the Goddess completely changes. Her fancy suit shifts into something a showman would wear. Her glasses change into a golden hat that sits on her head. She gestures at the wheel.
“Welcome mortal to the Wheel of FORTUNE, but don’t be mistaken, for the fortune this wheel holds is not luck but riches. The wheel is cumulative magic that I have conjured! It will allow you to gain something from the smallest boons to the greatest weaponry mankind has ever seen!” (Merita)
“However, most of the wheel will probably be restricted. Seeing that the offering you present is not enough to unlock everything.” (Merita)
“Don’t be shy and spin the wheel.” (Merita)
I confidently walk up and spin the wheel. The fragment fizzles out of my hand and appears in the palm of the Goddess.
“No taksies backsies.” (Merita)
The platform is filled with clicks as the wheel spins faster and faster.
*click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click*
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