《Legend of the Lost Star》(Chapter 667) B11 C41: Final thoughts
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After a short interlude, Gaius followed Isabelle up to a guest room, which had been kept spick-and-span for anyone visiting the Lorenzes. It didn’t take long for him to freshen up, and after popping onto the double bed with the Formless Pauldrons off, he raised the Canvas of Memory up to the ceiling.
His name had been written on it too. And like that of Isabelle’s father — who was called Arthur — his name was glowing.
There was probably a memory there to be seen. For now, however, Gaius wasn’t going to view it yet. The Canvas of Memory’s function apparently worked only once, and for that reason, Isabelle’s grandmother had not yet viewed her son’s final thoughts. She intended to leave that to either Isabelle or Lia…and to be honest, Gaius would have done the same, had he been in her shoes.
For a parent to send off their child was heart-breaking enough.
“Isabelle.” Gaius passed the Zeroth Armament over to her shivering form, before giving her another hug. “I’m here, okay?”
She nodded silently.
“Go on. I’ll be here.” Gaius rubbed her head. “You shouldn’t put it off any longer. Go. I’ll watch over you.”
“Mm.” Isabelle raised a trembling finger, and then pressed down on her father’s glowing name. A moment later, her body began to tremble wildly, and Gaius held her tight, hoping to comfort her with his presence. A damp sensation engulfed his arms as tears fell uncontrollably, but all Gaius could do was to console her and nothing else.
This was the first time he felt this useless.
“Master Gaius,” a voice spoke in his mind. “I have a suggestion.”
“Say it.”
“It is possible that the perpetuator is still alive and well,” Nexus replied. “In fact, his son had a fatal encounter with you, some years back. I wonder if…”
Gaius nodded. “I’ll think about it.
Returning his attention to Isabelle, he wiped her tears gently, and felt her arms tighten in return. Her breathing steadied a few minutes later, and Gaius sighed in relief — she hadn’t lost herself in the last moments of her father.
“Isabelle, do you want to share with me what you saw?” Gaius asked, willing his voice to be as gentle as possible. Sharing heart-breaking moments was one way to get over them, and it was definitely better to have someone to talk to. Or even something, if push came to shove.
She shook her head.
“It’s alright, if you don’t want to share it with me,” Gaius replied quietly. “When you’re ready, I’m all ears.”
He gestured, and a small bottle rose out of his backpack, before floating over to his open palm. Uncapping it, he passed it to Isabelle, who received it with two trembling hands.
A small flame lit up in his stomach as he saw how she had issues with drinking, and all of a sudden, paying Aquitaine a nocturnal visit sounded like a very good idea. However, he couldn’t guarantee that doing so would help Isabelle, her sister, or even Madam Amelie; it was entirely possible that their sorrow would just deepen.
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Restraining his hatred, Gaius wiped her lips. “It’s alright. If you want to cry and let out your sorrow, go ahead. I will never mind. Let it all out. You don’t need to restrain your grief just because I’m here. You should never do that. If I cannot shoulder your sorrow, then what good am I for? He’s your father. Your family. If you don’t cry for him, who will you cry for?”
His words seemed to strike a chord, and Isabelle began to cry in earnest. Rubbing her back gently, Gaius felt his heart twist and writhe too, and once again, he cursed his helplessness.
As the minutes ticked by, her crying began to subside, while her arms tightened around him.
“Feeling better?” Gaius asked gently.
She nodded.
Wiping the dampness off her cheek, he placed his forehead against hers. “What do you want to do next? Do you want me to get revenge? Or do you want to…”
“I’ll never forgive him,” Isabelle replied, her voice shaky, yet chilling. “I’ll never…never…”
“Very well.” Gaius breathed out slowly. “Do you want me to kill him?”
Isabelle froze, and he immediately understood that she hadn’t thought of that yet. It was a good sign, all things considered, and Gaius took this chance to sweep aside the hair that had obscured her face.
“Father…wouldn’t want me to do that,” Isabelle murmured. “But I want to see him. Ask him why he did all these. I want to know what my family did for him to…to tear it apart.”
“And…”
“And if it is a lacking reason,” Gaius cut in, “I will kill him.”
Isabelle stiffened. “That’s—"
Gaius continued on indifferently. “He made you cry. That’s good enough for me. No buts. No one will ever make you cry like this again. No one. This is my promise to you.”
Tidying Isabelle’s hair, he kissed her forehead, and then made her lie on his lap. “You should rest. Sleep will make you feel better. And when your thoughts clear up, we will decide — together — on our next course of action. And no matter what you want to do, I will see it through.”
“But—”
“Hush.” Gaius patted her head slowly. “Sleep. I will keep watch over you tonight.”
Under his ministrations, Isabelle’s eyes began to drift shut. Her breathing, which had been disordered so far, began to return to normal, and Gaius let out a small sigh. There were so many things he could do, but when it came to loss, he was just slightly more useful than paperweights.
He gripped his chest. Watching Isabelle crush herself from her emotions, from that damned Aquitaine, had been nothing short of torture for Gaius too. For a moment, he wanted to question her grandmother about why she revealed the truth, but it was, in the end, just him trying to vent his anger at a misplaced culprit.
Taking two deep breaths, he continued to pat Isabelle’s head, keeping an eye on her as she slept.
The hours drifted by in a blur, as Gaius continued to watch over Isabelle. For some reason, a small fear had welled up in him, a fear that she would just suddenly stop breathing. Yet, he was prepared to block off all sound at a moment’s notice, in case someone tried to enter the guestroom…Gaius knew that he had a very odd attitude towards Isabelle’s sleep right now.
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Madam Amelie had probably said some things to the other members of the Lorenze family, judging from how no one tried to interrupt Isabelle as she slept through the night. Eventually, the silence that permeated the guest room deepened with the night, and soon, the mansion’s occupants were asleep.
His hand continued to pat Isabelle’s head gently, an action that elicited faint smiles from her in return. She was probably dreaming about her childhood, a time where mothers usually rocked and patted babies to sleep. The sight made Gaius glad that he had stayed awake to pat her; her sleep had at least done her some good.
Time continued to slip by, but the sky hadn’t quite lightened when Isabelle stirred awake, traces of tears on her face. An expression of loss and confusion appeared on her face for a few seconds, which was swiftly replaced by one of profound sorrow.
However, this particular brand of sorrow gave off an air of looking back. It made Gaius think of distance, of regret, but little else.
“Good morning, Isabelle.” Gaius rubbed her head. “Feeling better?”
“Yes, thank you.” She got up slowly, and then looked at the Canvas of Memory, a smile full of conflicting emotions adorning her face. “My father…when he was bleeding out, dying…the only people he thought of was us. Of mother. Of Lia. Of me. He was worried about what would happen after he died.”
“It’s…a beautiful thought,” Gaius murmured. “Your father, who never forgot, who thought about his family until the very end. Whatever faults your father had, no one can deny his love. I wish I could have seen it.”
Some of his inner sorrows had probably leaked out in that last sentence, as Isabelle turned to look at him in surprise.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Gaius took a deep breath. “I just can’t help but envy those with loving parents. That’s just it.”
He ran a hand down her flowing hair. “But enough about me. What do you intend to do now? You have a grudge. How do you want to resolve this?”
“I…” Isabelle took a deep breath. “I want to find mother first. Anything else can wait.”
“We’ll do that, then.” Gaius tried to get up from the bed, only to find that his legs were numb. No matter how strong his skin and body were, there were some things that never seemed to change, like joint pains and numbness. “Looks like I’m stuck here for the next few minutes.”
Isabelle’s gaze was making him feel a bit embarrassed, a feeling that only intensified as Gaius recalled last night’s words, the ones he’d spoken right before she fell asleep. Granted, he already said quite a lot of words with a similar nature, but it was not a sensation he could get used to.
“Ahem.” Gaius cleared his throat. “Anyway, I was thinking about being a bit more public. Something like a public address or something, with you by my side. If your mother sees you, she might—”
His words caught in his throat as Isabelle pressed her lips on his. At the same time, the first rays of dawn broke across the horizon, and Gaius closed his eyes from the sudden light.
“Thank you.” Isabelle’s voice was shaky when they broke apart, and he opened his eyes to see her eyes tear up once more. Startled, he moved to wipe them off, but in the instant his hands reached out, Isabelle had taken the chance to push him down onto the bed.
It was far more comfortable than he’d expected, and for the next few moments, the two just laid down, exchanging squeezes and gazes. There was no need for anything else; simple moments like these were more than enough for Gaius.
Besides, it was morning now.
“What will your first words be when you meet your mother?” Gaius abruptly asked.
“My first words?” Isabelle asked.
“Yeah. You don’t want to just stare at her and not say anything, right?” said Gaius. “You’ll just make her feel really worried and guilty about her absence in your life.”
“You have a point.” Isabelle rolled over to Gaius. “Do you have any suggestions?”
Having Isabelle this close wasn’t doing any good for Gaius’ intelligence, but he persevered on nonetheless. “How about…you introduce me? ‘Hi mum! It’s been some time, but I’ve found a great husband!’ Or drag your sister with you, and then brush over the awkwardness by pushing it to Lia. After all, she is the older sister.”
“I think she’ll cry if I greet her with your first suggestion,” Isabelle replied with a grin. “Your second one sounds better, though. Lia might be able to do something, since she probably has more experience.”
Gaius apologised to Lia in his mind, but Isabelle was as important as Nakama to him. “We’ll still need to find her first, though. And now that I think about it, are you really going to wait for your sister to come to the way to where your mother’s at before you greet her? That’s…”
“Sad,” Isabelle completed his sentence.
“To put it very mildly.” Gaius reached out to poke Isabelle’s cheek. “Hmm.”
“You’re thinking of an idea…while poking my cheek.”
“Something I picked up from you,” Gaius replied. “I have another suggestion, however. One that might appeal to you. How about…you let your feelings take over when you find her? Let your heart roar! Something like that.”
“This sounds lazy,” Isabelle replied.
Gaius grunted.
“But I really can’t think of anything either, so let’s roll with it.”
“My point exactly.” Gaius rolled over to Isabelle, and held her close. “You really aren’t going to use my first suggestion?”
“You wish — hey, wait! Stop tickling me! Alright, alright! I’ll consider it!”
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