Dear Dungeon Man,

I’ve been hired on by an adventuring company, can you believe it? They said they wanted an experienced warrior, but when I kicked the butt of every other applicant in a friendly brawl, they said they’d take a chance on me. It’s so different out here! Everyone’s like Buggers or Tilly or Stanislav, but younger and not as scary! I think the cleric is sweet on me, but she’s not my type, so I’ll have to let her down easy.

We’re supposed to tackle our first dungeon tomorrow! It’s a low-tier one, practically a training dungeon, but I’m hella excited! I’m giving this letter to the mailgnome and sending it first class so I’ll be sure it gets to you before I head out. And I’ll make sure he doesn’t use any of those exploding stamps.

Say hi to your mom and dad for me! And write me when you can! I’m paying for a box at the post office here in Drualin and I’ll be back to check it after every delve.

You better write me, otherwise I’ll come back and kick your butt!

Love

Marie

* * *

Char found him first.

He wasn’t even aware of the kobold woman’s presence at first. His head was full of screams and steel and awful whiskey. The bottle in front of him was half-empty, the murky liquid swirling around invitingly every time he picked it up to drink. Every swallow burned, every drop hurt, and none of it was helping.

Maybe more of it was the answer.

“It is unwise to drink alone, friend Samuel,” Char’s voice at his elbow would have made him turn, if he’d cared about anything at all.

“Not alone,” Sam muttered, staring at the bottle. “Got Rollo there.” He gestured at the troll bartender. He’d learned the man’s name… Ten minutes ago? Twenty? Didn’t matter.

“Indeed.” A scuff of wood against wood. Char, pulling the stool next to him out and taking a seat. Her reptilian snout appeared in the corner of his vision. He didn’t turn away from the bottle. “What are we drinking?”

“Dunno.” The bottle didn’t have a label. Good. Easier that way. “Want some?”

“No indeed,” the kobold woman said. “But I will anyway. Rollo? A glass, please. Clean, if you can find one.”

The bartender gave an offended snort. There was a clinking noise, and another one, and another, followed by the sound of glass against wood, and Char’s hand appeared in his field of vision with a small relatively-clean shotglass.

Sam reached out, got hold of the bottle, lifted, and poured. Most of the liquor made it in Char’s glass. The stuff that didn’t hit the countertop and smoked. Char’s hand and glass vanished from his field of view. She was drinking.

Good idea. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a long pull.

Didn’t help.

Maybe more of it was the answer.

“Your parents are worried for you—Oh, that is vile,” Char coughed when the liquor hit her. “How can you do this to yourself?”

Because it doesn’t hurt as much as the other stuff, he didn’t say. He just grunted and took another swig. Didn’t help. Maybe more—

“Samuel.”

He closed his eyes against the tears that suddenly burned in them. Char’s tone was gentle and motherly, and cut through the liquor haze like one of Tilly’s bandsaws.

“Talk to me.”

He knew she was just being kind and friendly and motherfucker why couldn’t they just leave him alone to get pickled in peace son of a goddamn bitch wasn’t it enough that he’d poured his fucking heart and body out for this god damn fucking dungeon and now this shit happens she was dead and now she’s back and fuck this and everything about it god fucking damn it everything hurt and he didn’t know anything anymore and he just wanted to be ALONE and for everything to JUST FUCKING STOP FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE WAS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK???

He opened his eyes to find his hands clenched and his throat raw. Rollo was backed up against the far wall, eyes wide and fearful. He looked down to see the split his pounding fist had made in the counter top, and the droplets of blood where he’d split his own skin. Two of his fingers were bent at odd angles… Had he broken them? He didn’t remember. They hurt. But not as bad as the screaming agony raging in his chest right now.

He blinked again and turned slowly, muddily, to find Char still sitting beside him, eyes wide, but still there.

“Did—“ His voice was hoarse, and cracked on the first syllable. “Did I just say all that?”

“Yes,” she said, not moving.

“Oh.” He swung his head back to his hand. A long wooden splinter had gotten embedded in the fatty part, just outside the palm. “Sorry.”

She didn’t say anything. Moving slowly, she stood up on top of the stool, wobbling slightly as the poorly-made thing shifted under her weight. She paused, staring at him, her long tongue flicking out in what he’d come to recognize as a kobold’s version of uncertain hesitation.

Then she leaned over and hugged him.

For a second he fought it. For a second he screamed silent defiance in his head, keeping the walls up, keeping the pain out, keeping the steel and ice solid.

Then his uninjured hand came up and wrapped around her small wrist. His head bowed. And with the sound of a single great wracking sob, the walls fell.

* * *

Dear Dungeon Man,

I just hit level 12 today! Can you imagine it? Only a month since I left home, and I’ve already racked up 9 whole levels! I don’t care what anyone says, the life of an adventurer is AMAZING!

Oh, oh, and you’ll like this. I spoke to David about you joining up with us when you’re old enough, and he was all for it! I talked up your tinkering skills and that awesome brain of yours, and he said it sounded like you’d be a great Engineer-class, and could really help the party out on mechanism-based dungeon runs! I swear, last one we went on, there were these stupid little mechanical spiders that were just the WORST. We eventually figured out how to turn them off, but by that time half the party was poisoned and the other half (including me) were climbing the walls!

I bet you could have figured out how to turn them off in like ten seconds flat. You’re gonna be such a great addition to the team! Just keep plugging away, and in a couple years we’ll totally be taking on all the dungeons!

So cool to hear about getting to work on your dad’s new dungeon! Are you excited to be helping him out? I know emerald cores aren’t really big, but hey, that’s a huge first step for you! You better build it good! I might be going into it someday, and you know I’ll tease you all day if it’s a cheesy dungeon.

Tomorrow we’re going to go Gryphon Hunting. Cynthia is still trying to get into my pants, so maybe I’ll let her get eaten a little this time, just to cool her off.

I DIDN’T MEAN THAT THE WAY IT SOUNDED OH MY GOD

Anyway, the gnome is almost here, so I’m gonna wrap up. Give your mom and dad a hug for me! (Don’t look at me like that, just do it, or I’ll come home and kick your butt!)

Love

Marie