[ZERO SPACE]

RUMBLE RUMBLE

Master Valdi nearly toppled over the peak of his gigantic red pyramid, catching his balance on the armrest of his throne. His right foot folded painfully around the edge of a stair; his left foot landed in a narrow channel of water.

A long sigh departed Master Valdi’s pitch black lips. This pyramid was supposed to be his happy place - an impenetrable fortress of solitude. But something out there was strong enough to shake the very foundation of his guildhall. And if the guildhall shook, the world did too.

His gaze fell upon sixteen Deadly Skulls below. In all of his Zero Space years, he’d never assembled a team this large. Even in the Haven, he preferred small, efficient crews. Less people to manage meant less people he had to talk to. But this quantity was quantified. Perhaps after this Tower-business, he’d trim that number back down.

Master Valdi cleared his throat, patting the creases from his dark suit.

“Before I begin,” said Master Valdi. “I’d like to welcome our new Feather Bird friends.”

Several Feather Birds cast unwelcoming stares; Shae’s stare was particularly unwelcome.

“And going forward,” said Master Valdi. “That idiotic term Feather Bird is banned. The words feather and bird may still be utilized, but not in that order.”

The original Deadly Skulls stood apart from these new Feather Bird additions. Both crews parted like boys and girls at a middle school dance.

“We haven’t the time for a meet and greet, I’m afraid,” said Master Valdi. “The Wizard Triplets have spawned. We must proceed with haste.”

Lanzer’s fishy eyes opened wide.

“Hey hey hey,” Lanzer whispered. “Did anyone else catch that? Did he say twins or triplets?”

Asira shrugged her orange ninja shoulders, avoiding eye contact.

Master Valdi’s slender body slinked across the pyramid stairs like an evening shadow.

“We face a cataclysm of unprecedented proportions,” said Master Valdi. “There’s more at stake here than you know.”

Master Valdi turned to Syadd - Syadd settled all six brutoid eyes on him, terrified to look away.

“I have been around for a very long time,” said Master Valdi. “Since the beginning, in fact. There are Zero Space secrets that most of you don’t know. Those secrets unfortunately now affect us all. Typical Haven leadership.”

Master Valdi peeked below Bowman’s hood - Bowman watched Master Valdi with solemn eyes, his bow firm in his hands.

“A forcefield separates the Haven from the Static,” said Master Valdi. “Should too many Zero Space players fall in battle or go AFK, that barrier will diminish.”

Master Valdi’s fingers traced the winding blade of his dagger.

“To put it simply:” said Master Valdi. “If the Wizard Triplets defeat enough players, everyone in the Haven will die.”

A confused uproar erupted from the crowd below.

“M’lord,” said Tambien, his metal armor clanking. “Are you quite serious?”

“Holy snap!” said Bez into his golden microphone. “Did you hear that Bez fans?”

Kezzle flapped her wings.

“I love it when Master Valdi lies to motivate us!” shouted Umi.

Master Valdi flicked his forked tongue.

“Bah, believe what you will,” said Master Valdi. “Should you fail, reality will set in quickly.”

Master Valdi’s pitch black palm projected a pop-up window:

112,467 Total Players

“That’s the number of players in our server,” said Master Valdi. “Should that number drop below thirty percent, the Haven barrier will fall. Permanently.”

Master Valdi tickled his chin with his dagger-tip.

“So thirty percent of that number is –” Master Valdi started. “Bah, I’ll need a calculator for this. Such an awkward number.”

Parper’s tongue extended, puppy tail wagging.

“Master Valdi,” said Parper. “Thirty percent of that number is thirty three thousand, seven hundred and forty. Rounded down, of course!”

“Show-off,” said Wagger, gnawing on a stick of TNT.

“I used a calculator app,” said Parper.

“Brown-noser,” said Wagger.

“My nose is pearly pink, thank you,” said Parper.

Parper and Wagger grew silent as Master Valdi’s red eyes rolled over them like a searchlight hunting rogue prisoners.

“A third of all players have already fallen,” said Master Valdi. “Those who remain, won’t remain for long.”

Bez cowered as Master Valdi’s eyes drifted by - on cue, the scar below Bez’s eye began to itch.

“The Wizard Triplets are here for our guild,” said Master Valdi. “Only we can kill them.”

Master Valdi projected an interface from his hand, showcasing a holographic map. Tall guild mountains loomed to the west, Sunlight Forest swayed to the east, and Trader Town blazed in the center.

“The Wizard Triplets are burdening these three locations,” said Master Valdi.

Three glowing dots blipped onto the map: one at the heart of Trader Town, and two in Sunlight Forest.

“We’ll split into three teams and –”

“Wait wait wait,” interrupted Lanzer. “You keep saying Wizard Triplets. But they’re the Wizard Twins. There’s two of them!”

Master Valdi flicked his forked tongue.

“There were two of them,” said Master Valdi. “Now there’s a third.”

“No no no,” said Lanzer. “There can’t be a third. That’s kinda impossible!”

“Bah, it clearly is possible!” said Master Valdi. “The developers must have implemented a third one just to spite us. Typical devs. Always adding content. Never thinking!”

Dalli rose on his long leggoid legs, glancing over the Feather Birds: Shae, Asira, Umi, Bander, Lanzer, Dane, Bez - everyone was accounted for. But something was wrong.

Someone was missing –

“Chief,” asked Dalli. “Where’s Chief?”

Master Valdi ignored him, gesturing towards the glowing Trader Town dot.

“The Trader Town wizard controls fire,” said Master Valdi. “Not a very original ability, but dangerous nonetheless –”

“Chief?” asked Dalli, a little louder.

Master Valdi pointed towards Sunlight Forest’s southern dot.

“This wizard can turn goblins into dark goblins,” said Master Valdi. “Yet another uninspired power, though far more dangerous –”

“Chief!” Dalli yelled again. “Where’s Chief?”

Master Valdi cringed - his musicoid ears delivered Dalli’s shrill voice in high definition.

“The final wizard is a mystery,” said Master Valdi. “It arrived in the alien crater, though no footage of it yet exists online –”

“Valdi!” shouted Dalli. “Where’s Chief?”

Master Valdi let out a dramatic sigh.

“You will address me as Master Valdi,” said Master Valdi. “And we’ll discuss that momentarily.”

“We’ll discuss it now, Valdi!” shouted Dalli. “Tell me where Chief is!”

A sinister smile crept across Master Valdi’s snout.

“I’ve banned her,” said Master Valdi.

Dalli’s salamander skin grew pale.

“That’s not possible!” said Dalli. “Guild leaders can’t just ban other players. They can only kick them!”

“Typically, yes,” said Master Valdi. “But an ancient player’s words go a long way. Especially words against members of their own guild.”

Master Valdi twirled his dagger.

“It just took one convincing report and a few forged chatlogs,” said Master Valdi. “Devs don’t have time to investigate a claim from someone of my stature. They’ll ban first, then ask questions later.”

Dalli trembled, his spear rapping against the ground.

Master Valdi grinned with pearly white fangs.

“I suppose Chief’s out there somewhere,” said Master Valdi. “Probably wandering some abandoned corner of Zero Space, covered in clown make-up, stripped of her status and rep points. She’ll fall several Haven floors too, assuming we all survive this.”

Rabid saliva frothed from Dalli’s lips.

“A fitting end for such a terrible player,” said Master Valdi. “Chief finally got what she deserved. The insect queen, now one with the insects –”

With a ear-piercing screech, Dalli skewered Master Valdi’s throat with his spear.

Auron nearly choked on his lollipop, adjusted his blue sailor hat.

“RAVE REVIVE!”

Master Valdi regained consciousness, performing a dance unbefitting of his character’s appearance.

Before Dalli could follow-up, Janzo’s scythe hooked his throat.

“Hi Dalli,” said Janzo.

“Hi Janzo,” Dalli growled.

Tambien’s armored tentacles wrapped around Dalli’s arms.

“Please, Sir Dalli,” said Tambien. “Attacking m’lord will bring naught but regret!.”

Dalli’s leg extended, delivering a footful of regret to Master Valdi’s face. Master Valdi fell on his pitch black hindquarters, groaning in dismay.

“Bah, get him out of here!” yelled Master Valdi.

Tambien dragged Dalli down the pyramid stairs.

“I’ll kill you!” screamed Dalli. “I’ll kill you for what you did to Chief!”

Tambien heaved Dalli beyond two big red doors.

“I’ll kill you!” Dalli repeated.

Those two big red doors slammed shut.

Shae was visibly shaking. He lowered his sunglasses, staring into Master Valdi’s cold red eyes.

Chief was family. Dalli was family. And no one fucked with Shae’s family.

No one.

Master Valdi recomposed himself, marching to the pyramid’s peak. His hand scooped Syadd’s chin as he passed.

“Syadd, my loyal raid captain,” said Master Valdi. “I trust you to lead this operation?”

“Yes Master Valdi,” said Syadd with a deep bow.

BANG

Shae fired his guns into the air. Many times. Chunks of red scrap rained down, coating everyone in a smothering fog of dust.

“Fuck that shit!” yelled Shae.

All eyes turned to Shae, especially Master Valdi’s furious red eyes.

“Don’t let Syadd lead!” yelled Shae. “She’ll get us all killed!”

Syadd’s armor chains rattled with rage.

“Know your place, Shae!” said Syadd. “You are new to this guild. I outrank you!”

“Yeah, you out-rank me,” said Shae. “As in, you stink! You’re a shit leader and a shit person. Not one damn person thinks you’re fit to run things here. Not even Master Valdi!”

Hushed murmurs fell across both sides of the pyramid. Master Valdi’s fingers clawed at the armrests of his throne.

“How many times have I kicked your ass?” asked Shae. “Three? Four? I lost count. You can’t beat me at anything. Who beat the Goblin King first? Who got the Dragon Sword first? Who killed the Dragon? The Feather Birds did! Under my command!”

Shae slapped a pistol against his own chest.

“I’m the best damn player in this guild,” said Shae. “Hell, I’m the best damn player in this whole fucking game. You know it. You all know it.”

Shae approached Master Valdi.

“Make me your Raid Captain,” said Shae. “I’ll lead the Deadly Skulls into battle! I’ll save the whole damn Haven!”

Uproarious shouts erupted across the pyramid.

Syadd’s flail shattered several pyramid steps.

“Not a chance!” shouted Syadd. “I’ve been Raid Captain for years! Master Valdi would never allow that!”

Master Valdi’s dagger tickled the tip of his own chin.

“Syadd,” said Master Valdi. “Can you refute Shae’s claims?”

Syadd heart stopped for a moment. When it resumed, she swung her flail like a windmill in a windstorm.

“Shae, I challenge you,” said Syadd. “You will not disrespect me.”

“Fuck no,” said Shae. “I have a level three, dumb-ass. You really want me to waste five SP on you? That’s five SP I could use on a wizard. Just another example of your poor ass judgment!”

Shae moved into Syadd’s punching-range.

“You won’t touch me,” said Shae. “I dare you to try something. Go ahead; waste someone’s heals on me. Show off that great judgment of yours.”

Syadd battered Shae’s face with heavy breaths.

Shae brushed past her, standing before Master Valdi’s throne.

“You know I’m right,” said Shae. “I hate you. And I know you hate me. But if you’re serious about that Haven shit, then do what’s right for your guild. And for the Haven!”

Master Valdi traced his own dagger with a finger.

“Shae, your ambition is commendable,” said Master Valdi. “But Syadd has been with me for ages. She knows the Deadly Skulls; she knows how to utilize them.”

Syadd’s huge heart thumped in her chest.

“And yet,” said Master Valdi. “You know the Feather Birds just as well. And your team constitutes about half of us now.”

Shae’s comparatively-small heart thumped in his chest.

“Bah, we’ll put it to a vote,” said Master Valdi. “In the case of a tie, the decision will be mine.”

Master Valdi extended his hand, projecting a holographic interface:

Guild Poll

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Master Valdi’s blood-red eyes scanned his subordinates.

“You all know what to do,” said Master Valdi.

The Feather Birds sure did - their fingers immediately sunk into their palms –

Guild Poll

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Shae

Syadd

6

0

Lanzer prodded Shae with his fishy finger.

“Shae Shae Shae,” said Lanzer. “There’s eight of us, but we only have six votes!”

Master Valdi tossed his dagger in his palm.

“Dalli will not be voting,” said Master Valdi. “He’s in temporary time-out. Incarcerated guild members lose their right to vote.”

“Fine fine fine,” said Lanzer. “But there’s still kinda one vote unaccounted for.”

“Um, mister Lanzer,” said Bez. “I think I found it.”

Bez prodded Dane with his golden microphone. The demonoid stood petrified, unmoving and unflinching.

Bander bonked Dane with his staff.

“Wake up, idiot,” said Bander. “Damn it, what a time to go AFK.”

Umi’s deep laugh shook the entire pyramid.

“I bet Dane’s off working again!” shouted Umi. “Dane loves working!”

“Absentee votes will not be counted,” said Master Valdi.

Five Deadly Skulls cast their votes:

Guild Poll

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Shae

Syadd

6

5

Syadd’s six sinister eyes scanned the pyramid’s perimeter.

“Who didn’t vote?” shouted Syadd.

Syadd’s gaze fell upon Janzo - the demonoid stared into space, his hulking scythe leaning by his side.

“Janzo,” said Syadd. “Are we waiting on you?”

“Uh huh,” said Janzo.

“Blast it Janzo,” said Syadd. “Cast your vote for me. Now!”

Shae stepped in the way.

“Yo Janzo,” said Shae. “Vote for me. I’m your roommate. Don’t make it awkward.”

“Janzo, I’ve been your Raid Captain for years,” said Syadd. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you. Don’t be an idiot.”

“Janzo, we’re close buddies,” said Shae. “Vote for your friends. That’s how these things work.”

“Janzo,” said Syadd. “Please vote for me.”

Janzo blinked at Syadd.

“You said please,” said Janzo.

Guild Poll

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Shae

Syadd

6

6

Shae slapped his forehead.

“Are you for real right now?” asked Shae.

“Uh huh,” said Janzo. “Syadd said please.”

“This shit is serious!” yelled Shae.

“Uh huh,” said Janzo. “I like both of you.”

Bowman’s finger hovered over his palm like a claw in a crane game.

Syadd’s brooding shadow hovered over him like a much bigger claw.

“Bowman,” said Syadd. “I just need your vote to win. Hurry up.”

“I’ll consider it,” said Bowman.

“Consider what will happen if you piss me off,” said Syadd.

Syadd pressed her face against Bowman’s.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret,” said Syadd.

Bowman sneered.

“I won’t,” said Bowman.

Bowman’s finger tapped down.

Guild Poll

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Shae

Syadd

7

6

Syadd’s hands wrapped around Bowman’s throat.

“You blasted idiot!” shouted Syadd. “You’ll pay for that!”

“Such a compelling counter-argument,” said Bowman.

“Idiot!” shouted Syadd. “The most I can do is tie now!”

Master Valdi’s legs perched up on a throne armrest.

“And a tie falls to me,” said Master Valdi. “I must say, I’m enjoying this discourse. Should you tie, perhaps I’ll allow closing arguments.”

Syadd lobbed Bowman down several pyramid stairs.

“Who’s left?” shouted Syadd. “Who didn’t vote?”

All eyes fell on a single person - Auron. He stood there in his blue sailor uniform, sucking on his lollipop, staring into space.

Syadd stomped towards him.

“Auron,” said Syadd. “Cast your vote.”

“Eh, I’m thinking,” said Auron.

“Think faster, dimwit,” said Syadd.

“Meh, I can’t think with you yelling,” said Auron.

Syadd’s armor chains rattled; she calmed herself with several deep breaths.

“Auron,” said Syadd. “Make the right choice. If you make me suffer, I’ll make you suffer.”

Auron withdrew his lollipop from a pop.

“Eh, you know what Syadd?” asked Auron. “You don’t scare me.”

Auron poked Syadd’s ribs with his sucker.

“You used to scare me,” said Auron. “You’re pretty big. And pretty mean. You can beat a healer like me up easy.”

Auron tipped his sailor hat.

“But pain’s temporary,” said Auron. “Especially Zero Space pain. Meh, you can’t hurt me. Not for real.”

Auron stuck the lollipop back in his mouth with a smack.

“My vote though,” said Auron. “Eh, that’s real power. I could fuck your whole future, you know.”

Auron grinned, slivers of sucker stuck in his teeth.

“Eh, this is pretty satisfying,” said Auron. “I like having power over you. You gonna grovel at my feet? Just like you do to Master Valdi?”

“Enough!” said Syadd. “Stop this right now! Y-You have no idea what you’re doing –”

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Auron interrupted. “Never have. You just know violence, and violence doesn’t solve shit. Goblins can’t die. People can’t die. Gotta know more than violence to win Zero Space. You gotta know people!”

Auron spat rainbow saliva at Syadd’s feet.

“I got to know Shae real well,” said Auron. “Shae’s a real stand-up guy. Saved my life once. All you do is make my life miserable. And I’m damn sick of being miserable.”

Syadd’s entire body trembled. She fell to one knee, cuffing her four hands together.

“Auron, please,” said Syadd. “I’ll make it up to you. P-Please, just –”

“Eh, too late for that,” said Auron. “Fuck you Syadd. Right in your giant brutoid ass.”

Auron’s finger slammed down.

Guild Poll Results

Who should be Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls?

Shae

Syadd

8

6

Poll Winner: Shae (8 Votes)

For a moment, there was only silence, and the sound of running water flowing gently through shallow channels between pyramid stairs. Shae and Syadd stood solidified, whispered voices bouncing around them like fish leaping from the startled sea.

Master Valdi’s wide red eyes rose above the crowd like a pair of blood moons. Then finally, his fist crashed against his throne.

“Bah, this is not a democracy,” said Master Valdi. “This is a dictatorship, and I –”

“We’ll split into three teams,” Shae interrupted. “One for each Wizard Triplet. The fire Wizard sounds tough, so we’ll need some heavy hitters to DPS it down.”

“What’s DPS?” asked Dane.

Bander bonked Dane with his staff.

“It’s way too late to be asking questions like that, moron,” said Bander. “It just means we gotta do lots of damage fast. And where the hell have you been, idiot?”

“Work stuff,” said Dane.

“Dane loves working!” shouted Umi. “Welcome back, buddy!”

“Enough!” shouted Master Valdi. “This is my decision, and –”

“We gotta be stealthy for the goblin Wizard,” Shae interrupted again. “Fighting that many dark goblins is suicide. And that last wizard’s a wildcard. We’ll need some good people. Smart people too.”

Shae turned to his crew.

“Me, Umi and Dalli will take the fire wizard,” said Shae. “We’ll grab Tambien and Kezzle for defense. Oh, and Bez on heals.”

“Yessir, Mister Shae!” said Bez proudly.

Master Valdi growled, digging into his throne with his dagger.

Shae placed a hand on Asira’s shoulder.

“Asira will stealth her way to the goblin Wizard,” said Shae. “Janzo and Parper will back her up. And Bander’s on heals.”

Shae scratched his head with a pistol.

“Wagger,” said Shae. “You’re on that team too.”

Parper’s puppoid tail and ears drooped.

“Um, Shae,” said Parper. “You may want to reconsider that. Wagger’s not known to be the stealthiest Deadly Skull.”

Wagger snarled, squeezing a stick of TNT.

“You’re known to be the dumbest Deadly Skull,” said Wagger.

“Let’s not resort to name-calling, Wagger,” said Parper.

“People who throw stones shouldn’t live in glass houses!” said Wagger. “Or something like that!”

“You can’t possibly be mad still about me throwing a stone at you,” said Parper.

“I am, and I’ll prove it!” said Wagger.

“Both of you, chill!” said Shae. “Wagger’s got a Level Two strong enough to kill dark goblins. I saw it during the Dragon Sword mission. Keep Wagger under control. Or don’t, and just keep away from her. She might be useful.”

Wagger gave Parper the evil eye. Parper eyed her pitifully.

Asira spun her orange swords in a flashy flourish.

“I won’t let you down, Shae,” said Asira.

“I know you won’t,” said Shae.

Asira gave Shae a subtle peck on the cheek. Or at least, she tried to be subtle. A wave of whispers rolled across the pyramid. Master Valdi’s red eyes narrowed at the gesture.

“And everyone else,” said Shae. “You’re on that weird-ass third wizard. Lanzer, Syadd, Bowman and Auron: that’s you. And Dane, I guess that’s you too. Whatever.”

Lanzer’s fishy flesh paled.

“Um, Shae Shae Shae,” said Lanzer. “Half of my team kinda hates each other.”

“Yeah, that sucks,” said Shae. “But that team needs good people. You, Syadd and Bowman are some of our best. Dane’s pretty good too.”

Auron nearly choked on his lollipop.

“Eh, Shae,” said Auron. “I outta switch out with another healer. Me and Syadd don’t get along too well. Maybe you missed my monologue.”

“Get over it,” said Shae. “Me and Bez work super well together, and Bander’s our sneakiest healer. This is the best we’ve got.”

Auron gulped as Syadd stared at him with six sinister eyes.

Shae stepped between them.

“Syadd, I hate your guts, but you’re got tons of raid experience,” said Shae. “I’m counting on you to lead that team.”

Syadd’s armor chains rattled with rage.

“This is bigger than us,” said Shae. “Whatever shit we’ve got going on can wait. You gotta promise me you won’t fail.”

Syadd released a primal snarl.

“Promise me!” yelled Shae.

Syadd snarled again, but then gave Shae a soft nod.

Shae nodded back, stepping before Master Valdi.

“That’s my plan,” said Shae. “Make me your Raid Captain, and I’ll make it happen.”

Master Valdi’s lips twisted like his curved dagger.

“I’m the best man for the job,” said Shae. “You know it’s true. This is for Zero Space. And the Haven. I won’t fuck this up.”

Master Valdi stared at Syadd - she stood hunched, a defeated look in her eyes. It was an empty stare, devoid of passion, pleasure or pain. All that remained was a soul-rending wound, destined to leave an emotional scar.

With a sigh, Master Valdi’s finger fondled his interface.

Shae has been promoted to Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls

“It’s done,” said Master Valdi. “Shae, the Deadly Skulls are counting on you. The entire world is counting on you.”

Shae nodded.

RUMBLE RUMBLE

Dust descended from above as the guildhall wavered atop a snowy mountain peak.

Master Valdi braced himself on his throne, while Deadly Skulls below stumbled and fell.

“You will all depart immediately,” said Master Valdi. “There’s no time to waste.”

Master Valdi’s eyes locked onto Asira. She stared back at him, her orange wings tensing.

“You will stay behind for a moment, Asira,” said Master Valdi, beaming with a wicked grin. “You and I have things to discuss!”