《Pay me in Venison》51. Conspiracies and bad poetry
Advertisement
Wren and Owl stripped Cat down to his braies and after noting where the bruises were, put him in a clean undershirt and tucked him into his bedroll.
The Duke was thoughtful, looking at all of Cat's burns exposed. "He was never able to move his arm after the fire. How can he move it now?"
Wren was the one to answer, "my aunt, Sleeping Willow, saw him every morning for two years and she made him stretch every day. Sadly, while he can now hold a bow up and nock an arrow, it is too painful for him to draw an arrow."
"He was the best in the royal family by the time he was ten. He dropped his first elk when he was eight," Duke Sven was looking morose. "It must be hard for him. He loved archery as a boy."
"Was he as good as me?" Willam asked.
"Twice as good as you and at a younger age too," Sven replied with a frown. "So Cat Rider is Andray. Now that we know, what are we going to do?"
"If we take him home, can we protect him from mother?" Willam asked, as glum as his uncle.
* Before you get too involved with making plans, don't you think you should ask Andray what he wants to do? It's his life, after all. *
"But he's the Crown Prince," Sven protested.
"He's told me many times that all he wants out of life is to hang out his shingle as a healer and mage and overcharge the rich to fund helping the deserving poor. He means it too," Wren argued back.
"He's said that if Willam were able to be a good king, Willam should be king," Owl said.
Cat groaned. The sound froze everyone.
"Fuzzy?" Cat managed to squeak, grimacing with his eyes closed.
* How are you even awake? * I was shocked.
"Woke up last time, too. Remember?" Cat managed to crack an eye open and looked at me through his slitted eyelid.
* No, I don't. I wasn't there. Remember? I was hunting when the wyvern attacked. *
Advertisement
"Father Garshom did something to make the pain not so unbearable. Do you think you can do that, Fuzzy? It hurts too much to sleep."
* Let me try. * I started the chant in my head for the pain-killing spell. It was silent as I cast it.
"That's much better, Fuzzy. That's good enough to keep me from killing myself to stop the pain."
* Don't even joke about it like that, young man, * I snapped at him.
"I would argue with you about not having a sense of humor but that's too much effort right now," he smiled at me. "Silly pussy cat."
* Hmph. *
"Uncle, there are two things that take priority," Cat said softly. Speaking was an effort for him. "The first is resolving the wyvern crisis. That's all we should concentrate on for now. The second is rescuing my father from that woman and her partners in crime. From what I remember in the description of his symptoms, I believe he has been both drugged and magicked into his current comatose state. I or Fuzzy or both of us must examine him to determine the exact nature of what is wrong with him. Think about how we can achieve that."
"My Prince!" Sven gushed with great emotion.
"Calm down, Uncle Sven," Cat frowned, looking at his uncle and brother with just his eyes, being careful not to move his painful head. "I am nobody's prince and certainly no one's savior. That stuff's for fairy tales. I'm just your nephew and not a very good one at that, having run away from home." Cat glanced at me, "put me to sleep, please, Fuzz? I can bear to be awake but would rather not while my head hurts like this."
"Andray!" Willam blurted, "that's not..."
"Brother," Cat cut him off, "I'm sorry I deserted you and I'm sorry I had to doubt you. We can sort this out when I wake up. Now I should rest. Fuzz, that sleeping spell?"
I nodded and cast it. He wouldn't wake up for at least a day.
"Andray mentioned Bishop Garshom," the Duke fished. "Is the old man still alive?"
Advertisement
"Alive and thriving and the scourge of elven youth everywhere, at least among the Green Elves," Wren shrugged. "Everyone who goes adventuring, and that's several hundred every year, must attend Father Garshom's classes on what the world is like outside of the Greenwood. He's a hard instructor and exams are brutal. I believe he enjoys torturing students."
Duke Sven laughed, to my surprise. "Oh, that sounds just like him. He was my tutor when I was a boy. I will never forget that evil smile of his."
"The one that says 'you will learn this and learn to like it, and you're not escaping until you do?'" Owl remarked in tones of one who has shared the same ordeal.
"I see you do know the old torturer," Sven nodded knowingly to a fellow sufferer.
"Father Garshom is well," Owl engaged in one of his rare bouts of feeling talkative. "He is one of only two humans allowed to live among the elves. He enjoys his teaching. He teaches magic and healing with Sleeping Willow and Deer Foot when he isn't teaching interkingdom geography and sociology to would-be adventurers. He will also take on special students to instruct them in one-on-one armed combat, which he excels at."
"Now I am envious," Sven looked envious too. "I am glad he prospers. My brother and I knew he had been framed but could not interfere with a church court. All of the bishops who had been his allies have been forcibly retired. Now both the church and the court are stuffed with the Regent's creatures and sycophants from Osterius looking for sinecures."
* The Provost's men came to arrest him when he fled to the land of the Green Elves for protection. On what grounds did they come to arrest him? *
"He was accused of being a pedophile and abusing a boy once in his congregation in Herman's Close," Sven sneered. "The boy was a servant at Lord Herman's manor. He mysteriously vanished after the Bishop escaped. The servant was not a credible witness since I found many who would testify on the Bishop's behalf. The case would have failed in court."
* Then Gershom's escape was wise. It appears to me that the real object of Gershom's arrest was to murder him in transit as an escaping prisoner. They could not afford the case to go to court. But tell me, what was the verdict of the independent forensic review of Gershom's accounts for the original embezzlement trial? Was that rigged too? *
Sven's face was a study of sudden revelation, "there's a law to that effect? But the case was heard in a church court."
* Did you not learn the law during your education as a prince, Duke Sven? The law exists expressly to prevent the abuse of church courts for felony offenses. It was passed by your father before you were born. *
Sven turned bright red with embarrassment, "I must confess, I was not a good student like my older brother. I do not know the law all that well."
* Where was Chief Justicar Fallwich when Garshom was accused and tried? *
"He died of food poisoning along with half his family the month before," Sven's eyes were growing wider and wider as he put the pieces together. "Merciful Matadee!"
* Exhume the bodies and test for arsenic. It mimics food poisoning. So do aconite and tartar emetic. *
"How do you know all this?" Sven asked in wonder.
* I was born knowing all this, Duke. My head is filled with human knowledge that is completely useless to a hunting machine such as myself. For example, I must know an entire volume of love poetry by heart. I ask you, what good does it do a cougar to know such a thing? I will never meet another cougar who would even understand me if I tried to woo him with a recitation of: 'Ah, love, let us be true to one another, for the world, which seems to lie before us like a land of dreams, so various, so beautiful, so new...!' *
"No, no! Anything but that poem," Duke Sven cried in panic.
Advertisement
- In Serial35 Chapters
Kill the Harem
I was never a person who struggled with anything. Whatever I wanted to achieve, I achieved, except for finding a good reason for living. That was until I died. Perhaps it was karma, or perhaps it was some particularly sick god. I woke up in a world full of magic and encountered all these women who became romantically obsessed with me. It bears an uncanny resemblance to those garbage isekai series that I had the misfortune of reading in high school. The problem is, I loathe isekai. It got to the point where ever time I read about a busty elf-girl wanting to follow the protagonist, I wanted to throw something. It's illogical and it ruins the flow of the story. But now, I'm the one getting harassed by such illogical people? What complete and utter drivel. If any obsessive crazy person tries to make me theirs without even caring about my opinion, I'll f*cking kill them! I'll kill them all! I'm getting back home no matter what. My favorite manga hasn't finished yet and I want to read it to the end. Q&A Section Q: Is the protagonist mentally healthy? A: No, not even close. Q: Are all the female characters stupid? A: Barring extenuating circumstances, nobody rational would fall for a guy like the protagonist, so there's a bit of selection bias going on here. Q: Is this about a Gary Stu killing a bunch of irrational harem characters in a cliche isekai world? A: Go reread the title and the synopsis. Q: Do the women die because they won't sleep with the protagonist? A: No. I'm not sure where anyone got that from since it's entirely the opposite of what happens.
8 224 - In Serial20 Chapters
Unprecedented
*SEQUEL UNPRECEDENTED!!*Freddie Matthews is finishing off her school year and is going to college soon. But before she leaves she uncovers the mystery of her father's death 14 years ago...While also living a normal teenage high school life of course..Copyright © 2019-21 AmbiizaAll rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Freddie Matthews is finishing off her school year and is going to college soon, but before she leaves, she uncovers the mystery of her father's death when she was just a toddler. She finds out that her father just might be alive and well... But not in the way she expected.... Copyright © 2019-2021 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
8 191 - In Serial15 Chapters
M-King
What if it all started with The King? The story takes us back roughly 3 million years into the past where we get to follow Marcus, who is a friend, son and a true explorer. Marcus lives together with his tribe on Red Mountain. For the most part, they live up in the canopies where they are protected and safe but Marcus feels that there has to be more to life then hanging from a branch and picking lice. He wants to learn as much as possible about life, may it be in the trees or on the ground. His tribe, which are one of the most knowledgeable on Red Mountain, have high values and specific paths for their young ones to take in order for them to surive and for their tribe to thrive. Marcus is set out for an advanture that will shape the course of our history and thanks to his eagerness and willingness to learn, the outcome is something that nobody could have expected.
8 145 - In Serial72 Chapters
Conclave of Tyrants
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge] The Gutu Empire, a behemoth that stretched across the majority of the Western Continent, dominated all in its path. The Gutu themselves were a race of mighty beings, capable to destroying mountains and splitting oceans with a wave of their hands. A billionaire prodigy from Earth dies in his sleep and wakes up in the body of a child in a Gutu village. He quickly adjusts and slowly begins to formulate a plan to do what he had once done before. Take over the world! This time, not with money, nor with intellect, but pure might! In a world where demons, strange creatures, mages, vampires and all sorts of insanities run amok, Takunda keeps a calm mind, as his vision sees nothing but the top he desires! Watch the legend that swept the Western Continent of its feet, the story of the ultimate cultivator: The Smoke That Thunders! ____________ Will have at least 2000 chapters! At least 5 chapters a week! Please support my patreon, i really could use your support. Please also visit my facebook page. Follows and pledges will lead to more chapters guys. Thank you for reading my story so farhttps://patreon.com/theonionjunktionhttps://facebook.com/TheonionjunktionxComments and criticism are always welcome!
8 199 - In Serial38 Chapters
Room Mates (NaLu)
Lucy is 19 years old.After living with her peculiar Aunt and Uncle for a year, her time comes to pursue University. Living with the schools hottest and most popular boy is hard... Can Lucy resist?~"Hi I'm Lucy" I said giving him a wave. "Natsu. Natsu Dragneel" he replied.--PART OF A TWO BOOK SERIES THIS IS BOOK ONE ♡(Began February 2016-2017)*looks around suspiciously*Ahem, no... I definitley don't name my chapter names from song titles... what are you talking about? !- THIS STORY NEEDS TO GO UNDER MAJOR EDITING ONCE COMPLETED. !- THERE MAY BE ERRORS BUT THEY WILL BE FIXED :)RANKINGS:NaLu- #19FairyTailShips- #2NatsuAndLucy- #3
8 198 - In Serial40 Chapters
mamma mia | jeremy jordan
❝i suddenly lose control, there's a fire within my soul. ❞in which he is infatuated with her bliss and she triesto teach him how to love. began: 𝟩.𝟤𝟦.𝟣𝟪ended: 11.04.19
8 167

