《Noctoseismology》Book 2 Chapter 10
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"Okay, so... mind-controlling villains at home to show us the evidence that they're a villain, or to go out and do something illegal so we can arrest them," Lisa said.
"The first is a violation of the Fifth Amendment," I said. "The second is called entrapment, and if it can be proven in court that it happened, the villain goes free, and we might take the fall for it, depending on whether it can be proven that we entrapped them, because we'd be provably responsible for something illegal being done."
"What are you two reprobates arguing about?" Veronica asked, floating into the room with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand.
"Bounty hunting," I said. "Lisa, by virtue of being a werefox, already has the instincts necessary for hunting, and with enough practice, it's my hope she can develop hunt-related abilities that make finding Doctor Skinner much easier when the time comes."
"And I'm certain this has nothing to do with the wager we made last week," Veronica said blandly.
"The sun does not rise and set upon yon golden head, child," I said. "In point of fact, I would prefer to not be bringing Lisa along on my hunts, seeing as she is less mobile than I am, but I have decided that her training is more important than my convenience."
"I'm not a dog," Lisa bristled.
"Humans are also trained," I said, closing my eyes behind my sunglasses- which I'd recently swapped the lenses for, after finally un-fucking my eyes. "At any rate, Veronica, if you don't have anything constructive to add, I'd prefer if you'd leave us alone."
"Constructive, hrm?" Veronica asked, tapping her chin with her free hand. "Well, I could point out that many supervillains in town have very illegal long-term operations that could be used by bounty hunters to establish culpability without relying on catching them red-handed. I could, also, idly make mention of the fact that I am perfectly willing to assist with villain captures, in exchange for fifty percent of the reward, for the purposes of our wager. Is that sufficiently constructive?"
"Yes, but it sounds like you've run out of things to say," I said.
"That I have. Call me when you're ready to admit you need help."
She floated off, and I grunted.
"...So, what wager?" Lisa asked.
"That I could, as a bounty hunter, pull in enough money in a month to pay for this house twice over," I said. "The winner establishes social dominance over the loser. Which, if it works..." I shrugged. "Well, Veronica can be nice, funny, charming, all those good things, but she's also a modern day warrior-aristocrat whose mother is a literal princess. It's inevitable that she's going to end up butting heads with anyone who considers themselves more experienced and knowledgeable than her in a subject she cares about. And since I don't have any kind of accessible record to point at for ethos, I've gotta make a new one and fast."
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"So, you're introducing outside-context technology into violent situations where you stand to financially profit," Lisa said, "just so that you and your roommate can establish who's the alpha."
"I hate when druids do that," I said. "There's no good response to one of them bringing up the alpha/omega bullshit, and yet my social scientist instincts can't help but scream 'you should be nitpicking that.'"
"Am I wrong?" Lisa asked.
"No, but you should be," I said. "Hopefully, at this point, everyone and their mother knows that this alpha/beta/omega bullshit isn't how real wolf packs work. Real wolf packs are family units composed of a breeding pair and their children. The alpha/beta/omega social dynamic was based on observations of unnatural wolf packs, which were composed entirely of strange, unrelated wolves, who were then forced to share a living space. And now, here in this house, four unrelated people are being made to live together, and two of them are currently struggling for dominance."
"So you're fighting with your roommate over who gets to be the alpha," Lisa said, grinning.
"You're not even a real fucking werewolf, you're a werefox, and those are not pack hunters!"
"Humans are," Lisa said.
"...You're a horrible brat," I said. "Right, whatever. We still have a job to do, and contrary to what Veronica thinks, I am in fact aware of long-term and large-scale criminal operations in the area that we can deal with. The reason we didn't start there is that catching people red-handed is low-hanging fruit, and collecting the evidence necessary to bust the kind of operation she's talking about actually takes a fairly long time, and I only have a month to work with."
"I see," Lisa said. "So, what is our next step, then?"
"I'm going to continue my scanning, and make sure I know exactly when and where any planned villainous activity is happening so we can show up and stop it in its tracks," I said. "However, in the meantime, we're going to continue working on hunting resonances. One particular route might prove appealing to you, in fact. How well do you get on with dogs?"
"Wow," I said, nodding. "So she's a real, genuine hunting dog, huh?"
"Yep," Antonio Sanchez said, nodding. "Irish Setter; how much do you know about setters?"
"Not... that much, I'll admit," I lied, watching Lisa lavish attention on the chestnut-furred dog in question. We were at a dog park, and had, in fact, borrowed Silas' family's dog so that we didn't look out of place. Currently, however, that mostly just meant I knew exactly whose chihuahua was curled up on my foot. "What's their role in a hunt?"
"Well, if you're hunting grouse or quails, or really any kind of game bird," Antonio began, "a setter will hold its head up high in the air, sniffing for bird scent- which isn't on the ground, because birds fly, obviously." I nodded. "Once they find the birds, they point, showing you where they are without spooking the birds. And because I can only keep one hunting dog properly trained at a time, Meche's been trained to flush them out when I give the word."
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I already knew all this stuff, but Lisa needed time to infuse her essence into Meche, strengthening her resonance of hunting and loyalty until a critical mass was formed and formed a hunting spirit. It wasn't just a case of dumping essence into the dog, either; even a dog was a complicated, multifaceted existence, and if you wanted a useful spirit, you had to emphasize some facets over others.
"What does training a hunting dog look like?" I asked. "Obviously, some of it's instinct, but how much?"
"Well, you're right that some of it's instinct," Antonio said, nodding. "Which means you have to start with a good breeder. See, usually, a girl who's been spayed is the best hunting dog, but a girl who's been spayed can't have puppies. I know a guy, I got Meche from him, he tests every puppy in every litter for hunting instincts, and the best ones, he keeps for himself, and the rest he gets fixed and sells to hunters."
"Hurts a little at first, but over time, you see dividends," I said, nodding back.
"Exactly. Well, once you know you've got a puppy with good instincts, then comes the training," Antonio said. "It depends from breed to breed. Irish Setters like Meche are real friendly, but they hate repetition. If they think they've got it, they're ready to move on, and they get frustrated if you keep trying to train the same thing. And in general, but especially with setters, you need to take a gentle hand; correct them too hard, and instead of learning, they just stop listening."
"Really? Friendly?" I asked, glancing meaningfully at Meche and Lisa. "I never would've guessed."
"Your friend there isn't even the first time today Meche's fallen in love with someone."
"The best kind of dog, in my opinion," I said, nodding.
Lisa, after one last ruffle of Meche's ears, finally stood back up, rolling her shoulders. "God, I needed that... Thank you, Meche. And you, Antonio."
"Hey, no problem," Antonio said, nodding. "How's your dog holding up?"
"Honestly, Taco isn't my dog," I said, kneeling down and gently scooping up the chihuahua. "We wanted to go to a dog park, but didn't want to feel like weirdos, so we asked our neighbor if we could borrow his dog."
Antonio snorted in amusement. "They don't let you have dogs, where you live?"
"We could have a dog if we wanted, that's not the problem," I said. "The problem is, dogs are a big commitment, and... well, we're all like twenty. Not the best time to be adopting a furry kid who'll never grow up." Granted, Akane had instead been pushing for getting a cat, but just because cats were less work than dogs didn't mean they were no work.
"Ahhhh, I see, I see," Antonio said, nodding. "Good on you for being responsible. You heading out?"
"I think so, yeah," I said, nodding. "Good meeting you and Meche. See you around."
Lisa and I left, with Taco staying in my arm, but still getting the leash put back on her collar.
"So, it worked?" I asked.
"I got my spirit hound, yeah," Lisa said. "I am out of essence, though."
"And that's why I had you making spirit rabbits earlier this week," I said. "Turn that puppy loose and have her bring you a rabbit."
"I can't believe it's that simple," Lisa said. "But nope! Rabbit spirits get essence from grazing and breed like crazy. Hound spirits get essence from hunting rabbits. And since this hound spirit is loyal, I can tell her to hunt a rabbit for me, and she'll get essence just from the act of hunting, and the essence from the rabbit itself is free for me to take."
"The spirit world is an ecosystem," I said. "A frequently strange and fucked up ecosystem, but still an ecosystem. You, uh... you're gonna wanna round out the ecosystem some more in time, by the by."
"Why's that?" Lisa asked. "It's not like the druids from your world can get mad at me for disrespecting nature."
"Well, for one, one of their baseline tricks is traversing dimensions," I said. "Mostly from the material world to the spirit world and back, but I'm not going to look you in the eye and tell you planeswalking werewolves are impossible. But more importantly, the way the material world influences the spirit world isn't a one-way street. Yeah, right now we need a lot of spirits of the hunt, but I want you to consider very carefully what might happen if we fill the entire fucking spiritual ecosystem of Texas with hyper-predatory spirits and spineless rabbits for them to prey upon."
"...You make a compelling point," Lisa said. "Jesus. Okay, well, that's gonna keep me up at night."
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Hopefully, your hound can bring you enough essence to make another one before we get to the next park. We're gonna need more than one spirit hound."
I unlocked our car, climbing into the driver's seat, and passing Taco off to Lisa, who started muttering as I started the engine.
"...I can't believe he named a chihuahua Taco Bella."
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