The day trampled along leaving me stuck in my zone of two rooms by myself. I stretched to the best of my ability in the stiff leathers and the stupid neck guard. I attempted the exercises I was taught in the wall with stiff leather making things such as sitting up off the ground tough and almost impossible.

Eventually I gave up and leaned against the wall, letting myself drift off, imagining living out under the blue sky. Dan was next to me, chopping wood for the winter as I worked on hanging out the laundry. Jade was laughing, running from Kevin and Sandy’s toddling son Landon. Landon’s blonde hair was stuck to his scalp from the water Jade had poured on him.

Behind the picturesque scene of what could have been, trees rise up beyond the village’s edges and tower over the clearing like its own version of the Wall. Their leaves were a dark green, the color of the height of summer. Dan walked up next to me and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned against him, and his lips brushed the top of my head.

This was just a dream. A dream of an impossible future, but it was so perfect and comforting that I let it continue to play out. An imaginary day where I was with Dan, and there were no battles, no raiders, no diseases.

The door creaked open interrupting my day dream. Daniel came through the door with a cup and what looked like a roll of bread. “Sorry it’s not much, but it’s what we can get here while staying under the radar.”

My stomach growled at the thought of food. “Thanks. Hadn’t realized how much I needed to eat till you brought this.”

He held out the bread and drink to me, and I quickly grabbed them. A gulp of water, and then I tore into the tough bread with my teeth. It was dry and slightly bitter, just like the bread of the Dishonored. Did Undesirables get the same bread, or were they the ones who made the bread for the Dishonored?

Water turned the chewy bread into mush in my mouth that I could swallow, and I realized it was strange that Daniel had brought me food instead of the lady who woke me up. “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean?” Daniel asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Well, I thought you would send the lady who was here this morning for anything other than strategy talk.” Bringing food to me seemed like too menial a task for a guard.

“Lady? There shouldn’t have been anyone in these two rooms except myself, Henry, and messengers from the front lines.” Daniel’s eyes were wide and alert as he looked around as if to find the woman I spoke of.

“She was dusting my room in the morning. She said she owned this house and seemed to know everything about our situation.”

Daniel bolted for the door, and right before leaving he looked back, “Eat quickly. I don’t know who that lady was, but I need to get Henry, and we need to leave just to be safe. We’ll go to the safe room and we can move elsewhere from there.” He closed the door behind him on the way out.

It seemed a little rushed and strange how worried he was, but I had promised Dan to leave if anything seemed wrong.

I chewed on the bread and washed it down with more of the water.

BAM! BAM! BAM! The sound came from below me and sounded like someone was punching the wall. Was Henry angry about the lady in the room?

BANG! It sounded like a single gunshot. Should I run for the hideout? I had promised Dan to leave if anything went awry, but Daniel should be back with Henry any moment now. I could hear thumping down below me. I stuffed the rest of the bitter bread in my mouth and washed it down with water as I stood up.

The lever for the trapdoor was exactly where they showed it to me the night before. The door to the room squealed loudly as it was opened. I fumbled for my pistol before seeing Daniel, with Henry’s arm draped over his left shoulder and supporting most of Henry’s weight.

“What happened!?” I ran for Daniel and Henry, putting myself under Henry’s other arm.

“City guards.” Henry spat, “Got me good with a shot to the gut.”

I looked down at Henry’s stomach, and I noticed the hole in the armor and the dark red seeping everywhere.

“Oh God. We have to get you to the safe room. We need to get you medical treatment!” I exclaimed. He couldn’t be another Fire. I wouldn’t let him.

He shook his head. “I can’t make it down the ladder. I’ll hold defense in the room.”

“NO! I won’t let you. You have a wife and a family waiting for you!” I pulled him toward the trapdoor, but he pulled away from me, grunting in pain, and leaning the hand he pulled away from me against the wall for support.

“I said goodbye to my wife. We knew how this might end. Hurry and leave. Don’t let my death be in vain and my family Dishonored. We have to win to save my wife and children.” Daniel let go of him, and he grabbed at his gut as if to slow the bleeding. Sweat ran from his smooth black hair down his face and I could hear the sharp contorted edges to his breathing.

He couldn’t fight if he wanted to! “You are in no shape to even be holding a retreat! You can’t even lift a sword!” I tugged on his arm, trying to pry him from the wall.

He grabbed my pistol with his bloody hand, “I’ll take this. It will give me more of a chance. But I can’t go with you. The trail of blood disappearing would be too obvious.”

Boots could be heard thumping down the hall, and I could see Daniel opening the trap door, “I don’t care! We need you!”

“Go! I won’t survive even if you take me.” He waived my blood covered pistol toward the trap door as he slid down the wall.

Daniel put his shoulder into my mid section, grabbed my arm, and lifted me off the floor over his back. “NO! We can’t. Grab Henry! I can walk!” I kicked at him, desperately attempting to remove myself from his back. He ran for the trap door, turned, and I could see Henry sitting on the floor against the wall, one hand holding up the pistol and the other on his gut, his eyes staring at the door. We were descending, and the small square scraped my legs and body as we went down.

The last thing I saw was Henry’s eyes fixed on the door as it started to open, and Daniel pulled the trap door down over us, and descended into the dark.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! The sound of the repeating gun firing round after round. Bang! Bang! Bang! More of Henry’s bullets hopefully. Could he survive? Bang! Bang! Bang! It only had ten bullets. Were all of those Henry’s? Did he get them all?

Thump Thump Thump. Footsteps overheard. Daniel put his hand over my mouth and I could tell he was taking us away from the trapdoor.

Bang! “No!” I screamed into his hand, but his hand muffled me. Henry had no more bullets. The city only had single bullet guns. How could Henry be dead? Henry was the mastermind behind this. He was the one the men respected. He was the one who planned out rescuing me. He had a family and kids waiting for him back home.

No, No, No! He couldn’t be dead! I had to be wrong. I must have miscounted the bullets. Or maybe those were some from guards firing their single shot pistols.

“We have to go back for him,” I mumbled into Daniel’s hand.

“We can’t. He’s dead.” Daniel whispered back to me.

“He can’t be. That must have been his pistol getting the last of them. We have to go back and help him. He was wounded.”

“You stupid girl. There were more than 10 soldiers. Pull yourself together. We need you alive and thinking to continue fighting. His family needs you to continue fighting so that they don’t end up Dishonored or dead.”

He couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t possible. Not Henry.

Why! Why had he insisted on staying back! He shouldn’t have stayed back! He should have come with us and we all could have survived. How could he have chosen to leave us? And he hadn’t even fought to live for his family! He just gave up on us!

“We could have saved him! You should have picked him up and carried him through the trapdoor like you are carrying me now!” Why had Daniel grabbed me?

“No. The blood led into the room. Someone had to take the fall.” Daniel’s voice sounded hoarse like he had gravel in his throat. A door opened, and we were in a dimly lit room. Daniel shut the door, and dumped me on the floor. “You ungrateful woman. He died so you could live.” I could see glinting at the edge of Daniel’s green eyes, and he scrubbed at his eyes with his hand.

Henry was dead. Henry was actually dead. Like Annie, my father, Fire, Bryan, and Kyle. He was dead because of me. Me. I was the problem. They all died because of me. I gasped for breath and felt like the air was burning around me in this tiny quiet room with its single bed and dim light. My eyes burned as if I leaned too close to the fire and I scratched at my face, trying to stop the flames. Daniel grabbed my hands and held them as I fought him. “It’s my fault! He’s not going back to his family because of me!”

Daniel smacked me. I deserved it. “He should have never saved me! He could have lived!”

“You stupid girl, we saved you because we wern’t living anymore!”

“No! It’s always my fault. Being near me is a death sentence!” The flames danced from my eyes down my cheeks, burning reminders of my sin. They sak deep into me, and burned my soul with my crimes.

I was wrong. Always wrong. I curled up on the floor, and Daniel let go of me. “It’s not your fault.” He told me from somewhere far away. He was wrong. So wrong, but there was nothing I could do, but cry for those unfortunate to know me.

Thankfully Dan wasn’t here. He was far away from my unlucky self, and I prayed that he stayed there and safe. I could never let him come back to me because I seemed to be bad luck.