Chapter 331 - Stay or Go

A rush of memories flooded me as I saw what I had done previously. Every one of my friends, slain by my own hand. Or rather, it was the God of Critical controlling me. The ‘Claude’ that I came face to face with at certain times.

He had been helping me all along to fulfill his own goals, that of acquiring the powers of all the other Gods. Just like how Eryn had acquired the God of Mana’s power, and how I gained both upon destroying the god within Eryn, it had set its sights on everyone else. ‘Operation Godfall’ had been the trigger to bring them all within his grasp. And once it happened, ‘Claude’ showed no mercy.

I dropped to the ground as the light from Eryn’s hand faded. My breathing was ragged, slow and shaky. I didn’t want to believe all of that had happened. That dream had become a reality by my own hand. Tricked by the very own god that gave me my power.

“So, what now?” I asked after a few moments to compose myself.

Seeing myself in this place, I wondered how I came out unscathed. The last memories I recalled was that of killing myself, to stop the God from gaining everything.

“Nothing, Claude. It’s over,” Eryn said, looking off to the side. “You stopped him just in time. And I regained a single piece of the power, enough to save everyone. There is nothing more that we can do.”

“Is there not?! Shouldn’t I, at least, reclaim those powers?! What about Ludmila and Saki and Cornelius, and everyone else?! Where have they all gone?! Because from what you’ve told me, all of the ones here are fake!”

“They are, but I can assure you that I did my best to give them another chance!”

Eryn shot me a fiery look, her eyes brimming with magic. The white glow that I now hated because of what happened. I could no longer trust its power, but what else could I do then?”

I called up my Eyes of Providence.

And then, my eyes widened.

Nothing happened.

No spark of power went through me. The feeling that I had grown so used to wasn’t called up. Then, it hit me. It wasn’t there anymore.

I had almost forgotten what it was like to be a normal human. It felt so strange.

“See, what can you do now?” Eryn waved at me to get my attention. “All of the gifts bestowed by the gods – you don’t have them if they don’t give them to you. The best I could do was grab your soul and stick it in a new container – the power of Life reborn.”

“How do you still have your power then?”

“Well, how would you feel if you saw a fellow companion slay others out of greed? Of course, the God of Life pulled out when it had the chance. But sadly, I was the only vessel present. I was the only one left to accept it.”

Eryn placed both hands on my shoulders and gave me a shake.

“But enough of that! I brought you here so that you could regain some form of happiness. Within these enclosures, Site 230, there is no more need for you to fight anymore. Live, be free and forget about all the things that we had to face.”

“And what about you? Won’t the God of Critical come for you eventually?”

“If he does, then I will end my life and let my god drift back to the heavens, putting it out of reach once again. But I don’t think that will happen. It seems that he has acquired a fair amount of power.”

“Still, you won’t be able to enjoy your life.”

“So be it. I only wish to cherish the moments I have left with you.”

I pulled back from Eryn, who was resolute in her decision. There was little that I could say to convince the bravado that she showed at times. But I knew, I knew that she wanted to be happy just as much as she wanted me to be.

“So, everyone here will play along with whatever whims I have?”

“Of course. My access as the Apostle of Life grants me full privileges to adjusting the settings to your preferences.”

Eryn walked around and pointed at various places.

“Do you want to be a 5-star chef with television shows and your face on a bottle of sauce. That can be done. Do you want to take over your mother’s business and create a cult following of Eastern healing to promote all across the region? Ask, and they will come.”

Eryn turned to me with a bitter smile.

“Or I suppose you can choose any girl you want, take them on dates, and build a harem of your liking.”

I recoiled at that statement. That came out of nowhere!

“Don’t act surprised like that! I looked around your room. I know where all of your ‘goodies’ are hidden. Don’t tell me that it didn’t even cross your mind for a moment? You certainly tried to warm up to Saki and me quickly.”

“But that’s… before I met all of you…”

My head drooped, thinking of what to say. If one were to compare how I was before and my life as an Electi, it would be like looking at two different people.

“Hmph, I’m glad that we had such a positive impact on you!”

I looked back up, seeing that Eryn had dropped that look of criticism. She was faking it. Her usual banter to test me on occasion.

“Truly, I’m grateful that you want me to be happy. It must have taken a lot of work to arrange all of this for me.”

“Then-”

“But, you’re not happy. Don’t lie to me, Eryn.”

Eryn froze, as I thought she would.

After all, why would she be happy? Caged in this one place, the size of a city. Even if she had the power to control it how she wanted, why didn’t she just make a place for herself instead of catering to me?

It was because – no matter what, she wouldn’t be satisfied.

She could never truly be free, fearing that the next day the God of Critical would come for her life. She would have to abandon it all. So the best she could come up with was to create a happy environment for me to thrive in. So that when she disappeared, I wouldn’t be any wiser. I would be happy, surrounded by friends.

“You want to live just as much as I do, don’t you?!”

“I-I, uhhh.”

“Eryn, after being freed from your burden after so long, how did it feel to travel the world? To do whatever your heart desired? Tell me that your travels with Cornelius didn’t just bring you back to me!”

“But you are my Electi! I can’t help but worry about you. I’m still connected to you, no matter what you believe!”

“And that’s the problem. Connections aren’t meant to bind us. They are meant to make us stronger. I can’t accept such a deal that you’ve given me. I want to fight!”

Suddenly, the guys that were frozen before started moving. They came upon me and grabbed my limbs, forcing me back from Eryn.

“I can’t let you fight. You have no power. You are not the Electi that you once were. And given that, what can you even do? Against a god with all the other powers?”

“I don’t know. But living in luxury doesn’t feel right to me! I will think of something, like we always have! Can we not just go back to those times? The two of us, walking forward against the odds!”

Eryn sighed as she beckoned more people to come and restrain me.

“How optimistic you’ve grown. I will not doubt that it has saved me more times than I can count. But not this time. Please, just forget everything we discussed.”

As others held onto me, I struggled to push them off. Eryn’s hand was raised, approaching me again with the white glow. This time, I knew she was going to erase the unnecessary memories.

I would wake up, once again, with no knowledge of it, going about my day-to-day life, none the wiser. But I had the feeling that Eryn would no longer be there. She had approached me, not thinking that it would trigger some remnants of the past. But seeing that it did, it was best for her to disappear into the shadows.

“Get off me! I told you I won’t go back!” I cried out, tossing one person off, only to have another latch on. The white glow was almost upon me.

At this point, I didn’t care what I had left in me. I begged for something, anything, to show itself. I needed some way to fight again. I wanted to fight again!

I gasped sharply as a dreg of darkness sparked from my core. The purple flames which I had pushed away with the divinity – it was calling out to me once again.

‘So be it. If that’s the only way!’

A purple wind swept up from below as I yelled, asking for its bidding. All at once, the people around me tripped and stumbled. The wind had carved the ground below them, breaking away any foothold.

Eryn leapt back right away, surprised that I had any way of resisting her. But more than anyone, she knew that shade of purple surrounding me. I had nearly killed her once with it.

But strangely, I felt in total control.

“No, I will not stop, Eryn. Let me out of here. ‘That’ is what I want.”

The two of us stared at each other, unmoving. I didn’t think I would fight her again, not in this state. But just like the times before, I had to make my point across. I refused to go about it the easy way.

Then, out of the blue, Eryn broke out of her stance and stood up. With a voice that didn’t seem like her at all, she spoke.

“Very well, if you wish to go that far, then we must pin our hopes on you.”

“Huh, what? Excuse me?”

Eryn shook her head and cursed at herself. I could tell that she was trying to hide something, but the previous voice spoke once again for her.

“There is another way to counter the powers of the Gods, and that lies within the power you now hold.”

Eryn bit her lip and gave up, letting such secrets be revealed.

“The power you hold counters that of ours, the white light which you call ‘divinity’.”

“What? So I have to become a demon lord or something to fight against the Gods? I feel like I’ve heard this twist before.”

After all, there had been a recent upswing of demon lord themed anime, many of them putting such evils in a kinder light.

“Correct. Except that such power was never meant to be ‘evil’. Power is never inherently evil. It is how you use it.”

I placed a hand over my core. Before, whenever I used the skills laced in miasma, I would feel off. Like a sort of disgust from putrid things. But strangely, I felt none of that at all now.

Eryn pointed at me, her gaze fiery white.

“The fact that you feel no burden when using such power shows that it is what it was supposed to be. The ‘Power of the Origin Goddess’.”

“The say what now?”

“That is something that you should discover for yourself.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“How else? Simply walk outside of these boundaries and step into the unknown. She will be waiting there for you.”

Skeptical of what was going on, I made my way towards her. Eryn’s eyes dimmed, and she nodded lightly at me. A cloud of conflict spread over her expression, something that always seemed to occur when she faced a harsh truth.

I decided at that point that I would go. We hitched a ride in a car, and Eryn drove past the university limits, through the city and out towards the suburbs. And just as it seemed like the road continued endlessly, the scenery shed its illusion, and the wall raised. An exit to the city that was meant to raise me – I didn’t need it anymore.

After continuing through the dimly lit tunnels, Eryn stopped the car right before the end.

An endless expanse of white with nothing else – it was the Forbidden Lands.

“Go on, Claude. Show me your determination.”

With the purple aura around me, I took one step outside.

And then, everything faded to black.