Pa watches me, waiting until I can find my words.

I lean forward, putting my head in my hands.

"I—" I don't know where to begin. But Pa merely waits, patient until I find my words. I look up and feel the blinders and walls fall from my face, the blunt and all-encompassing pain of my past appearing starkly in my eyes. I know he needs the truth. “Jed was in the pits, Barry is badly scarred, and I—“ I pause, taking a deep breath. "I am—I was—an assassin." I run a hand through my black hair, pushing it back from my face. My voice drops to a mere whisper. “As Bloodfang… I did so many things."

We did so many things. You are not alone in the blame, Cynic says softly, his voice void of the usual snark.

And we are both forgiven.

If he were a human, he would be smiling. Indeed, idiot. Indeed.

I turn my attention back to Pa, and he watches without a hint of surprise in his eyes. My brows furrow. "You knew?"

He chuckles, his dimple making an appearance. "I knew your past was bad, son. Worse than you ever let on. You came with deep scarring on both soul and body. But your past is not why I love you. You have a good, loyal, and compassionate heart, despite what you have been through... or perhaps because of what you have been forced to endure. My love is not dependent on what you’ve done or who you are, but as my son… that is the unconditional love I tried to give you. I am imperfect, not always showing such love as I should, but the Allfather—his love is perfectly unconditional. It is my greatest joy that you have found him."

"More like he found me," I whisper.

Pa gives me a knowing look, his eyes softening. "So it often happens, my boy. So it happens."

He rises from the chair, going to the broad balcony windows and looking upon fields that I once tilled with friends and loved ones who are now gone. Life changed the day the jingoist came. Forever.

“The Allfather also found me, met me where I was." He runs a hand down his face, looking at me with bare eyes and bowed shoulders. "When you come through darkness, it changes you. Changes how you see the world. You become a broken mess of who you once were. But the Allfather saw fit to choose me, and he brought me from the pits of despair and set my feet on a rock."

His eyes grow distant and he looks at the floor. "Barry is yet too young to know, but someday I must also tell him the truth. But Jed... he knows. You see, Jed is not mine. His father was a proud and good man who provided for Frida... but they were commoners. I saw Frida, proud and beautiful even in the rags of her class." He pauses, his eyes growing distant and hazy. "I used my power of office... sending him to the front lines of battle with your kind. He was proud of the soldier he was, but he had problems from the wars he'd been in, and I thought... I thought that was the way..." He shakes his head. The man before me... I couldn't see him committing such a crime. I listen with rapt attention, leaning forward.

He sighs, his forehead puckering and his shoulders hunching under a pressure I cannot see. "No one is perfect. But the Allfather often takes the worst of us, the murderers, thieves, and broken-hearted souls to become greater than we could ever be alone. There will never be a day I don't regret what I've done.

'But the past is the past and it cannot be changed. Therein remains the present in which our choices determine the future. If you do not choose forgiveness and repentance… you are bound to repeat past mistakes until the day you leave this world. The past will always be there. It shall threaten once more to turn our lives upside down. But yet, once you face your past and admit what you've done and know you have someone greater on your side to help you through... then you find true peace, no matter what comes."

He looks up, his eyes stark and his frame haggard. "Don't repeat the mistakes of the past, boy, because when the past comes knocking, it will be hard to prevent yourself from leaning on old habits. But that is not the way. Guilt oft creates a pattern. Forgiveness genuinely accepted as the beautiful Gift it is will bring you to freedom, as you have found. It breaks the pattern of guilt and rebellion. Seek the wisdom of the Allfather in all things, and the Allfather will be faithful. I have seen this time and again. He brought us you, just when we needed you most." He takes a deep breath and grabs my arm in a grip that would be painful were I human. "It is not because of you they were taken, my son, so wipe such guilt from your eyes. It was my fault, for being part of the Resistance. They were here for me, and I let them cast the blame upon you. To take you." He shakes his head. "Forgive me, I have made many mistakes."

"What—" I begin, but cannot finish. Numb shock runs through my system, and his eyes show understanding.

He nods. "I know. And... there is something I must ask of you." Regret and pain pool in his eyes.

I gird myself, preparing for the worst. "Ask."

He does not stop the tears running down his face. “The Allfather has chosen you, and he has chosen well. Now I must ask… I’m not sure I can do this again.” His voice chokes off in a sob, and I smell the bitter hint of self-loathing on the air. He takes a breath, collecting himself and pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off tears. “If t-they were to come with their pets and search again... you here was the only reason their eyes turned from me to you. For I saw no other option than the cost of thousands of lives should they have looked closer at me that day. I must sound a broken record, a hypocrite for allowing you to shoulder what was mine to bear. I chose the easy way—“ his voice chokes off, strangled by emotion.

The easy way would've been to cast me out in the beginning. But he did not.. If he needs to turn me in, then so be it. I will do whatever it takes to protect those who depend on me, both my family and now the Resistance.

The faces of those in Videlia run through my mind. Sweet Heather and little Shasta, their bond deep as the ocean, despite the circumstances that brought Shasta into the world. David, Tim, Jace, and all those who took my instruction and improved themselves for the fight against the Empire... a fight they knew was hopeless, but yet, they refused to lose such hope.

Flash is going to kill me for this.

I'll kill you for this.

You know we have no choice.

Were he a human... his scowl would melt a man. But yet, he cannot argue with what must be done.

I walk over to where Pa still struggles with the pain of guilt and the burden of leadership. This is what it means to be a true Alpha, weighing the cost of choices and choosing between terrible choices and hoping you do not choose wrong. Good and bad leadership often look the same… but the heart of the leader for those he leads, that makes all the difference. That is what I hope to, someday, become.

I place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. He snaps his eyes back to me, and I give a wry smile. "You made the right choice, Pa. I met the Resistance, and they need to be protected. But how did I not realize you... ?"

He gives me a smile. "I have hidden from emperors and kings, my son. David sent something with you, did he not?"

Strings snap into place. How David and the General knew of me. How they knew who I was. Why Pa is not surprised by my past because he somehow already knew. Why David gave me the Ring of the King to begin with when I was an unknown Shifter who was merely in his town at the right place, right time. I sent the Ring back to Videlia, knowing they needed it for the moat, only for it to return to me a few days later, with a note that I sure as all Sixth better take it to Whitecastle.

I open and close my mouth, well and truly shocked by the webs weaved around me. As evidenced by Pa, leadership is not for the faint of heart.

I hand him the Ring, and he accepts it with awe and reverence befitting a relic of old. "This will save Whitecastle from those who try to destroy it. Thank you for delivering it."

I shake my head, unable to grasp just how deep this man has woven his web... and I had no idea. A hint of betrayal runs through me, but it's tempered by the truth he now brings to bear. But... did he accept me in the first place because of who I was? Am I merely a pawn to him?

My fists clench, and my heart thunders in my chest as something hurts in my chest. "Did you know who I was in the beginning?"

He shakes his head, looking at me with pain in his eyes. "No. I didn't find out until you were already our son in truth. It... complicated things." I sniff, but there is no hint of a lie on the air. He speaks truth, unless he's found a way to get past my nose.

"Why...?" I can't seem to find the words, but the look Pa gives me says he understands my question.

"Unless the righteous stand, all will fall. The Empire has bred strength and evil until this entire world seethes with the powers of darkness. We had to be as crafty as serpents but as innocent as doves... but it was not without cost. You give us the chance for a figurehead of caliber to lead us, if you are willing." He looks me dead in the eye, not challenging, but showing his candor in a way he knows I will understand. The smell of sweet, slightly spicy cinnamon-like aroma of truth and sincerity colors the air. "But if you are not, we will find another way. I will not force this upon you."

I shrug. The scent of herbal, eucalyptus-like sorrow wafts from him. "You well know I could never leave so many innocents to chance. I am already a part of this. Might as well die facing them."

He grins, his eyes lighting with the first rays of hope I have seen since I arrived. "The Allfather will provide a way. He has led us here, has he not? I pray he provides a way of victory that you will flourish, finding the good and sweet in life. He only knows you deserve all the joy and happiness you have been denied your entire existence."

My heart trembles at the soft understanding in his voice. Something inside me unwinds, a hidden worry I'd shoved deep. I feared that once my past came to light, I would be cast out. Tears gather behind my eyes and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

A sob catches in my chest.

Pa grabs my shoulder and holds it as I regain control. My shoulders shake and my eyes ache from the tears, but it is healing.

He understands who I am, and still calls me worthy of good. I am not worthy... but perhaps no one is. Perhaps it is merely the grayce of the Allfather that there is good. That there is someone like Pa, who, despite his secrets, has taken me from a past bound in betrayal and sorrow, and shown me light and freedom. Without him... I would still be the old shell, the assassin who never knew freedom. Never knew love.

And now I have a second chance, forgiven and beloved by my family and the Allfather—who sees something in me I don’t, but hope to find.

I am free.

I look up at Pa and his own eyes shimmer with tears. He nods, pride shining in his eyes. "You are good, my son. And I could not be more proud. I know you have questions, ask—"

The door slams open, and Miss June bustles inside, her eyes wide and the chalky scent of fear striking my nose. "We're out of time."