《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 54: Sing Along if You Know the Words
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Alright! Let's go!
"Whoo!" cheered Og'drimun. "You show 'em bones!"
Death had finally gotten around to changing. He had replaced his shorts with torn jeans, that were still wrapped tightly around his spine just above his hips, of course. Instead of his usual shirts, he had a plain white shirt on, with a jean jacket over it that had its sleeves ripped off. He had a red bandana tied around his forehead, and purple tinted circular sunglasses over his eyes. He was holding a microphone and had his fist up in the air.
How's it going Oasis! He roared. Are you ready for the greatest night of your lives?
"Heck yeah!" roared, Og'drimun. "Party time!"
Narissa sighed as she glanced over at Ted who was sharing the booth with her. "How did I let you rope me into this?"
"Come on, it could be fun." Ted said with a genuine smile. He had never really done something like this before. It wasn't that he didn't want to, quite the opposite, but it just never seemed like a good time. There were never the right people around, or the right place to go and experience it either.
"Ugh, I can't believe I'm jealous of That chicken," she grumbled. "At least she was able to get out of this."
"I mean, Sentenza isn't in great shape, but even he showed up." Ted said, as he pointed over to Sentenza, who had taken a spot near the impromptu stage. "He's even brought a guitar, and is smiling, and if he can enjoy this..."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. If that stick in the mud can let loose, maybe I should too. Well, don't get your hopes up darling." Narissa shrugged before taking a sip from the goblet in front of her.
Alright! I'll start us off, but this is a party! Don't be afraid to roll on up here yourself and show us what you got! Death kicked his foot out towards a small machine and nodded. Alright! Let's rock put with a classic!
An upbeat song started to play from the speakers behind Death as he started to headbang, and then he opened his mouth, and sang his heart out directly into everyone's heads.
It's summertime and you know what that means
Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things
It's summertime, and it feels just right
Gonna gather all my friends and we'll party through the night
It's summertime loving
It's loving in the summertime
It's summertime loving
Oh baby, why can't you be mine?
It's summertime and I just can't wait
Gonna call you on the phone, gonna take you on a date
It's summertime and I hope you like steak
Gonna take you to a restaurant, gonna eat out at the lake
It's summertime loving
It's loving in the summertime
It's summertime loving
Oh baby, why can't you be mine?
...
Death put his entire self into the performance as he bared his very soul while singing along to a song created for a TV show. When he finished, he put his head down and dropped the wireless mic. Everyone was already a few drinks in and applauded him.
Alright! Who wants to go next? Death asked, but when no one answered right away, Death shook his head. That's not how karaoke works. Everyone's got to take part, yeah? So, I guess without a volunteer, I have to pick someone. So, how about...Og'drimun! Your turn.
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Og'drimun quickly downed his drink and rushed up to the stage. "Alright, if you insist. Just don't be freaked out if I blow you away!" He stood in front of the karaoke machine, and quickly pressed through the songs. "Ah! Perfect."
He picked up the microphone, and while still next to the machine, he started to sing:
"I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me"
Then, he flew up into the air with a little flourish as the music started to kick in. He started to dance around the stage and slide his hand over his furry body as he sang as seductively and aloof as he could.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan
Too sexy for Milan,
New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
...
And I'm too sexy for this song"
Og'drimun burst into a puff of smoke and disappeared from the stage. He appeared right next to Narissa and leaned on her shoulder before he dropped the microphone on her lap. She glared at him, but he just smiled.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?' she said before picking up the microphone and shoving it back into his hands.
"What do you mean? It's your turn to sing. The last singer gets to choose, remember?" Og'drimun chuckled.
"Yeah, not happening." Narissa scoffed, before she turned slightly pale and looked down as the microphone had somehow appeared back in her hand. "What is..."
Og'drimun smiled. "Oh, so sorry. Did I forget to mention that I wasn't asking?"
"You little...wha!" The microphone seemed to be stuck in Narissa's hand as it yanked her towards the stage.
"Did it...could it always do that?" Ted asked.
Og'drimun shrugged. "I mean, agreements are pretty binding to the right people." As Narissa was pulled up onto the stage, Og'drimun smiled, "But there is some interesting magic hidden in there."
Narissa stood up on the stage and crossed her arms. She seemed adamant on not participating. But the machine at the side of the stage started to sputter and shake Then, two puffs of smoke appeared to her left and right. Out from the mist appeared two copies of her in schoolgirl outfits with miniskirts. The one to her left in obnoxiously bright pink with pigtails, and the one to the right in a deep emerald with a low ponytail. They both turned to her and winked before all three of them turned to glare at Og'drimun. The pink one smiled as she pulled some gum out of her mouth and stuck it behind her ear. A burst of smoke appeared around her, as her clothes changed to match her duplicates. Her outfit was a deep blue, and her foot started to tap as she pointed towards Og'drimun.
[Real Narissa:]
"Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You've come so far
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I'd normally slap your face off
And everyone here could watch
But I'm feeling nice
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Here's some advice
Listen up, biotch!"
[All Narissas:]
"I like!"
[Real Narissa:]
"Lookin' hot
Buying stuff they cannot"
[Pink Narissa & Emerald Narissa:]
"I like!"
[Real Narissa:]
"Drinkin' hard
Maxin' Dad's credit card"
[Pink Narissa & Emerald Narissa:]
"I like!"
[Real Narissa:]
"Skippin' gym
Scaring her
Screwing him"
[Pink Narissa & Emerald Narissa:]
"I like!"
[Real Narissa:]
"Killer clothes"
[All Narissas:]
"Kickin' nerds in the nose!"
[Real Narissa:]
"If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack"
[Pink Narissa & Emerald Narissa:]
"Woah!"
[Real Narissa:]
"Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porscha with the quarterback"
[All Narissas:]
"Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin' for?
Welcome to my candy store
It's time for you to prove
You're not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store"
...
The real Narissa seemed to mostly be going through the motions at first, but with the two backup Narissa's giving it their all, she eventually got into it. With their performance pushing what you'd expect on Broadway. All while she belted her heart out with a perfect harmony supporting her. When she finished, the two backup Narissa's winked before fading out of existence. After a moment, Narissa's clothes returned to normal as well.
"Yeah, don't really know if the schoolgirl look really works for me." she mused as she stepped off of the stage. She looked around the room. "Anyone have a strong urge to sing now?"
"After that?" gulped Trizel. "I would rather not follow that kind of performance."
"What? Scared to stand up in front of the class all of a sudden?" smirked Narissa. "I mean, that was my first time hearing that song. Another song called, 'The Last Midnight' had caught my attention, but it seems it wasn't meant to be."
"But you did so well." commented Lulu as she stroked her chin.
"Probably something to do with however that machine works." Narissa suggested as her eyes went across the room. They ended on Og'drimun for a second, and finally settled on Ted. "How about you Ted? Why not give it a go?"
"Ugh, I don't know..." Ted said as he suddenly felt on the spot. What would he pick? He'd never sung in front of people before.
"Ah, too late." she said with a wag of her finger. "Just let it pick for you if you're so worried. But there's no going back. You've been chosen, and now you have to sing, right?"
"I don't..."
"Come on Ted! Give us a show!" cheered Trizel.
Yeah! Go for it bro. I know you have it in you!
Ted didn't remember going up to the stage, or grabbing the microphone, but he must have. After all, he was now standing in front of everyone with the karaoke machine. Suddenly, singing started to come out of the speakers as it felt like he had just been filled with energy.
"We'll be singin'
When we're winnin'
We'll be singin' "
Ted felt his hand grip the microphone tighter as his head began to bob up and down before he started to belt out;
"I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away
He drinks a whiskey drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times
Oh, Danny Boy
Danny Boy
Danny Boy
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
..."
Ted's performance was far from perfect, but it certainly got everyone excited. As they applauded, Sentenza grabbed his chair and his guitar as he walked up towards the stage.
"Mind if I give it a shot?" Sentenza asked.
Ted blinked and then smiled. "Yeah, of course! Go ahead.
Sentenza's chair creaked as he dragged it up onto the stage. He set it down and groaned as he sat in it. "Sorry. I'm not quite one hundred percent just yet." He put the microphone into the stand the others ignored and set his guitar on his lap.
He cleared his throat as he adjusted the microphone down to his level. "Sorry about the guitar. I don't play, but it doesn't feel right not to have it here for this song." He looked down at the karaoke machine as a slow melancholy guitar started to play with a harmonica behind it. Sentenza took in a deep breath through his nose, and closed his eyes as he started to softly sing,
"Do they miss me at home, do they miss me?
'Twould be an assurance most dear,
To know that this moment some loved one
Were saying, "I wish you were here."
To feel that the group at the fireside
Were thinking of me as I roam
Oh yes, 'twould be joy without measure
To know that they missed me at home.
To know that they missed me at home.
When twilight approaches, the season
That ever is sacred to song;
Does someone repeat my name over,
And sigh that I tarry so long?
And is there a chord in the music,
That's missed when my voice is away,
And a chord in each heart that awaketh
Regret at my wearisome stay?
Regret at my wearisome stay?
Do they set me a chair at the table
When evening's home pleasures are nigh,
When the candles are lit in the parlor,
And the stars in the calm azure sky?
And when the "good nights" are repeated,
And all lay them down to their sleep,
Do they think of the absent, and waft me
A whispered "good night" while they weep?
A whispered "good night" while they weep?
Do they miss me at home? Do they miss me,
At morning, at noon, or at night?
And lingers one gloomy shade round them
That only my presence can light?
Are joys less invitingly welcome,
And pleasures less hale than before,
Because one is missed from the circle,
Because I am with them no more?
Because I am with them no more?"
Ted wiped his eyes as he tried to hide his tears. He hadn't cried to a song since he was a kid, but the way Sentenza seemed to pour out so much longing for what he had lost. It just hit him, and he couldn't help it. It looked like the others were having some trouble too as the atmosphere had shifted drastically from the upbeat sounding songs the rest of them had chosen.
That was...beautiful bro.
"Yyyeeeessss," agreed Bakade as she tried to wipe away the water pooling in her eye sockets. "Bbbuuttt sssoooo sssaaaddd..."
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