Injuries take time to heal no matter what. I am no superman and the mauling I had received in my last outing had left literal scars. This was not taking into account the nasty mental effects of the grave chill I was also “blessed” with.

For the first two weeks just getting out of bed to head to the toilet was a major task. The physical injuries were the first and most obvious impediment but the chill was what made it hard. The depression was bad with the emotional toll but a lot of people don’t realise the physical effects that can happen. Sleeping was an issue then as I kept waking with a hunted feeling. The cold inside of me was a constant companion as well. Keeping me drained and tired.

My body was so battered and my mental state bad that I was willing to allow myself to pee the bed rather than get up. Now I am not the friendliest and most outgoing person at the best of times. The situation I found myself in made me one cranky and nasty person for those first weeks. The only reason I got out and about was due to the nursing staff at the hospital. They were by now experienced with dealing with those who went into the zones and how they were affected.

My mother at first was trying to be helpful and supportive but in the end, was anything but. When the nursing staff were not around, she berated me for my attitude to them and constantly tried to have me resign from the position I held. Thinking back, I believe someone spoke to her when she was not with me as she toned back her opinions one day. She decided to head home to await my return after my physical therapy began soon after.

As the weeks passed the physical therapy and constant heading to different labs for testing began to have the effect of starting to get me out of the chills influence. Inaction is the real danger when it comes to depression as it can easily become a spiral that is horrendous to break.

I was sent home to finish my healing and a physical therapist was assigned to come to visit me to make sure I was getting back into shape. My local head shrink was also had extra sessions to make sure my head was in the right place.

The problem being as they term “neural divergent” as autism is called was, I do not think like non-divergent people. Shock! Empathy for example is a major sticking point for me as I find those who need to express their emotions constantly annoying at best. I see people and often do not understand the “signals” that they are displaying. This has led to many unpleasant interactions growing up. My attitude is to deal with your shit or don’t. Just stop whining about it and doing nothing.

This makes interacting with my mother so hard. I know she is afraid but it will not change anything but she is not dealing with it. This is causing strain on both of us.

I quickly get into a routine to help with my recovery at home as normal for the chill and now physical injuries. I also use this time to catch up on the streaming I have missed and read internet articles. Email was a little backed up as I have a habit of not checking it every day.

It was when I was going through the inbox list and deleting most of the entries that a new mail pop up. Griffon had sent me an Email? The message title line read “Brv national man of mystery” with a smiling emoji face. An emoji seriously who uses them anymore?

Opening the email all that was present was a link. Now basic internet safety means that you do not open links to sites you cannot identify no matter who sent them. So, I replied, “New phone who dis?”. A few seconds later Griffon answered with a large number of laughing emojis and to hit him up later. Griffon loves the older style of slang. He claims it’s coming back into fashion.

Confirming it was from him I clicked the link. The article was on a Zone Watcher web forum called The Zone Watchers Alliance (ZWA) and was named “Who’s the Axeman?”. The site was a British one that detailed the various exploits of different Zone Operatives in the country. This article however was all about a mystery Operative who has been spotted over the last few years around Brittan. There were several bad images and a lot of speculation. It was quite long as well.

The article was all about me. My first reaction was to freak out a lot but then I calmed down and reread the article. The article’s author could not identify me and the Government would not comment on any Zone Operatives outside of official channels. The images were could not identify me but my build and weapons loadout were clear in showing it was the same person. There was a link to another article written by someone else on my gear and possible tactics.

The article was a rather accurate breakdown covering most of my history of major operations over the last four years. The speculation was all about who I was and what type of operations I was involved in. There was surprisingly little conspiracy theory and actual research in many sections of the article.

The last part of the article however went into what had the author thought had happened during my last operation. I read the article.

“On the 28th of August this year the Operative known in Zone Watcher (ZW) circles as the Axeman was sited at the what is being called the Willowdale event. The day before noted regional Operative Morgan Sinclair was sent in to investigate an expanding Zone in the town of Willowdale. However, the Operative did not return from the Zone and early the next morning the Axeman was sighted entering the Zone.

Readers of these articles and blogs the author has posted will know that this Axeman is a Zone Operative of our Government but nothing else is known about him. Numerous Freedom of Information requests have been made to attempt to identify or get additional information but all have been refused.

We still do not know what took place over the next 90 minutes in the zone but several horrific monstrous sounds and tearing metal were heard from the zone near the end of the stated time near the main gate we believe. As most readers will know the fact that anything was heard at all is an important piece of evidence that some bad was happening. Sound damping is a noted effect of a zone. The government mobile base camp instituted a major deployment of support soldiers just inside the zones expanded boundaries and engaged an unknown hostile. There were a number of casualties with two soldiers confirmed to have died. Several medical evacuation helicopters were called in.

The next day Henry Griffon and two believed new unidentified Operatives went into the zone with a support team and breach closer. The Zone collapsed and an hour later was completely gone. It was reported the next day on the 31st that Operative Morgan Sinclair was confirmed to have been killed in action.

But what of the Axeman and what happened in that zone? The Government has not been forthcoming with information. Still, we investigate to find the truth.

By Alison McDonald”

So that’s what people know about what happened on that day. It was not something I like to think about even with the therapy sessions that I have to attend as a mandatory part of my job. Coming that close to dying leaves a mark beyond my scars.

I knew that Sinclair was dead after the first Ghoul attack. There was no way she had not gotten out even though a threat like that was present. I said that in my official report debrief and they had pulled me over the coals a little for not checking. The fact that there were three Ghouls in that zone has caused a lot of panic amongst the higher-ups. As far as I could gather no such situation of rapid threat escalation had been recorded on the mainland United Kingdom.

The article was linked to others that were also about the mysterious Axeman and the few confirmed sightings of me. While scanning the pages I discovered a series of links to fan fiction stories. It turns out that there is a whole subculture formed around Zone Operatives and their exploits. I of course knew this from other entertainment shows and book series. But I never thought it would apply to my present career.

Just out of curiosity I checked a few out. God, I wished I didn’t soon after. Just scanning a few of these stories had me questioning my life choices and what the hell went on in people’s heads! The bulk of these stories was erotic fiction both straight and gay. Strangely mostly written by women by their names but online you can never tell.

Wishing I could unsee or even bleach my mind of the images described in the stories I quickly left the site.

Looking around my bedroom from my PC I wondered what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I had been out with the few friends I had for the last few weekends. I am not a heavy drinker by nature and my injuries were such I couldn’t explain them away. I was as part of my contract with the Government not to inform anyone that I was a Zone Operative to help with my privacy clause. My friends thought I was an IT troubleshooter that was called out for emergency jobs. My biggest worry about my real profession leaking was my mother but hopefully, all those who are spoken to her had gotten through to her.

I didn’t like lying to my friends but I am no fool the wrong thing said casually at the wrong time would be disastrous. I would have an army of loons camped out around my home and constant harassment of both me and my mother by them along with the press. I think the footage from others who are publicly known to be Zone Operatives has convinced her to be quiet. I fear that one day it will not be enough.

To be honest my body was healing well and I was processing the near-death events as well as can be expected. The problem was sleeping often now I walk up in the middle of the night with the feeling I am being watched or hunted. I do not remember my dreams at all. I just remember the feeling afterwards. Going back to sleep after awakening like this is always hard at the best of times for me but it’s getting worse.

I have not spoken to anyone about my sleeping issues as I think it’s just an after effect of the arse-kicking, I got. Emotional issues are still not resolved and all that. I hope soon that it will stop as I am going back to active duty soon as I have been cleared.

I have been monitoring the global reports both official and unofficial on zone activity during my downtime. In reality, I have been doing it a lot longer but I have been spending time and giving it more attention, these last few months. I have an e-map of the UK mainland with highlight areas showing zones active and sealed. Since we started sealing the breaches this year seven have been closed down. Internationally Brittan has the highest sealed breach tally with Brazil of all places second with five.

The problem is that as far as I can tell ten new zones have appeared over the last year on the UK mainland with who knows how many more in the rest of the world.

The Government cannot hide however the casualty figures that show every year we are losing more to the zones amongst the population and responders. The PR machine that Government has is doing its best and the public is overall calm but the tension is building.