《The First Flame》49. Can You Hear the Thunder in My Chest?
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“Someone set Reyz after you,” Iris realised.
“Like firing an arrow straight at me,” Arylos added. “Which means someone knew about him, someone knew where he was, how he was imprisoned, and how to set him free.”
“Which means someone is coming after you specifically,” Iris thought aloud, taking it all in. “Someone found out something only you could have known to send someone dangerous after you.”
“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Arylos responded in a low voice. “And that is why it’s dangerous to be around me. Reyz was a pawn in someone else’s schemes, and I can’t pin it on Odin since Reyz’s prison was a secret even from Templarius. I was the only one who knew about it.”
Iris bowed her head, keeping her hand on Arylos’s as she thought. “So Sentarus is waiting for me because if I stay with you, this is only bound to get worse and I could get involved.”
She let go of Arylos and leaned back in her seat, deep in thought. The past eight months have been nerve wracking, stressful, and dangerous. Now Arylos is saying it’s only the beginning. They won’t be able to have a peaceful life, not unless Arylos stops whoever is trying to kill him. Who knows what that could bring; that could just make matters worse. Sentarus was basically giving Iris the chance to run away from this; that’s why he said the two of them should talk.
“What do you think?” Iris asked with a deep breath.
“You don’t want to know that,” Arylos responded.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked,” Iris snapped back.
Arylos sat in silence for a while. “I don’t know, Iris,” he whispered softly. “I don’t want to lose what I have here, but I can’t risk losing you or you getting involved in a fight that you can’t fight back against. I can’t take the chance that someone will try and take this away, because they will and by force if they must. And I can’t take the risk that someone will use you to get to me; they may kidnap you or kill you just to get to me.”
Arylos shook the emotions out of his head as his breath shuddered. “You are my weakness, and someone may want to exploit that.”
Iris took a deep breath and held Arylos’s hands again, trying to calm him down. She couldn’t fault him for lying to her anymore. She felt sorry for him for becoming a burden to him. “What are your options?” with a soft voice.
“Not many,” Arylos responded. “Namely, I can’t travel worlds in this body like I used to. I could reach out to Anoron for asylum on another world, beyond Odin’s and anyone else’s reach. Or I could try and migrate to the far north of Kaiyumi.”
“Beyond the mountains?” Iris gasped.
“I have options there,” Arylos continued. “And if someone chases me there, they will be far enough away from civilization to keep the people here safe.”
“Is there a third door?” Iris asked, letting go of Arylos and crossing her arms.
Arylos took a deep breath before explaining. “I can’t destroy this body, not on my own. But if someone were to destroy it for me, I would return to being formless. Then fighting me becomes a mute point since I will no longer have a physical body. I can then wait out the aeons until whoever is chasing me dies.”
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“And by destroying your body, you mean?” Iris responded, leaving the question hanging.
“Killing me,” Arylos answered.
“No!” Iris immediately shouted while jumping out of her chair. “We’re not doing that!”
“We have to keep our options open,” Arylos responded in a calm voice.
“I’m not considering that option!” Iris continued, clenching her fists. “I refuse to just let you die like that.”
Arylos took a deep breath, expecting this reaction. “I won’t exactly be dead, just–”
“I don’t care!” Iris shouted while slamming her fist on the table, knocking over the candle sitting on it and its wax extinguishing the flame, leaving the two in the darkness of the windowless room save for Arylos’s glowing red eyes.
“I won’t lose anyone else,” Iris continued, her voice starting to crack. “I refuse to let anyone else I care about die for me.”
Arylos snapped his fingers and a small ball of fire hovered in his palm, replacing the extinguished candle as a source of light. “We still have to consider it as an option if things get worse,” he continued, keeping his voice steady. “If cutting me off from this world will save even a few lives, then I should be more than happy to let it happen.”
“Then what about me? What about what I want?” Iris interrogated.
“You will be safe,” Arylos responded. “And that’s better than the alternative.”
“But I’ll be alone,” Iris whispered.
“You won’t,” Arylos corrected in a soft voice. “You will still have Bellona, Keratos, Garris, Subaya. You will still have all of your friends and I will still be able to watch you; you don’t need me here.”
“Yes I do,” Iris whispered while shaking her head. “And so what if you can still watch me, I won’t be able to speak with you or see you ever again.”
“No, you won’t,” Arylos admitted, looking away from her.
Iris rubbed her eyes and made up her mind. “You’re staying here, and I’m staying with you. You’re stuck with me, you big idiot.”
Arylos’s jaw dropped and he quickly turned to Iris and attempted to speak.
“You’re staying here,” Iris repeated herself.
Arylos scoffed and shook his head. “We can’t do that; the risk is too great.”
Iris felt a nerve snap and she lost control. Before she realised, she felt a sharp pain in her hand as the sound of a loud smack filled the room. After she blinked, she saw that Arylos’s face was turned to the side, his cheek red and a look of shock on his face.
“This is your home now!” she howled in anger. “Mortehksun is a wasteland now and Templarius has abandoned you; I’m not about to turn you away when you have nowhere to call home.”
Arylos ground his teeth, the words cutting him deep. “This world isn’t mine!” he roared, frightening both Iris and himself. “Don’t you get it? I am an outcast! An outsider! I don’t belong here and never will, so do us both a favour and stop treating me like I’m one of you! Don’t give me hope of something I can never have!”
Iris raised her hand to slap Arylos again but froze with tears streaming down her face, watching as the Titan did not flinch nor hesitate. He was willing to take his punishment for his words. He was willing to receive Iris’s hate and anger. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to hit him. His words hurt her deeply, opening the wounds of Nageki’s loss.
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Don’t lecture me about not belonging, she wanted to shout.
Don’t you dare tell me about what you’ve lost, she wanted to scream.
Don’t think you’ve suffered more than I have, she wanted to howl.
Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t need you, she wanted to cry.
“Don’t…,” she whispered in a shuddered breath, trying to work up her strength to strike Arylos, looking him in his burning red eyes. “Don’t,” she repeated as her voice cracked and she trembled, feeling all of her summoned hate make her body tremble.
Suddenly, Iris fell to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably, her hatred abandoning her at the last moment as all she could do was scream. She felt reality hit her as she realised what she did, what she was about to do again. She knew it was wrong to hit him, but could not control herself. She felt all of her summoned anger for Arylos redirect towards herself; she wanted to hit herself, pull on her hair, beat herself up. This was not how she wanted this to happen.
She tried to speak as tears clouded her eyes, but her throat kept stopping up, unable to get the air out of her chest. She wanted Arylos to say it; to say he was better off leaving this world behind now. She knew he was thinking it; she just hit a Titan, a creator of her own reality, and her friend.
She heard Arylos get up from his chair and the light in the room went dark. Iris assumed this meant he closed his fist. She closed her eyes and waited for what he would say as her tears fell to the floor like rain. She heard him get down on his knees in front of her.
“Look at me,” he said in a low growl.
It’s over, Iris thought. She shook her head, unable to face Arylos like this. She then heard the sounds of his shackles clanging and felt warm fingers hold her face while something was pressed against her forehead. She could hear a low growling sound close to her and reverberate through her ears followed by a hot breath on the front of her neck.
In confusion, Iris opened her eyes and saw she was staring straight into Arylos’s burning eyes, churning with an unknown light like a maelstrom of fire as his black pupils drew her in like a bottomless pit. It was hypnotic, addictive, telekinetic, it sucked her in and as she stared into that endless abyss, it felt like he was pulling her soul out of her very body with just the hypnotic glow in his eyes. A seductive allure that was winning, a light that outshone the fire that up until recently kept the room lit.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered in a broken voice. “I’m so sorry Arylos.” She couldn’t help herself but to repeat the same words over and over, unable to think of anything else to say.
Arylos’s eyes flashed and she could feel him shake his head. “Don’t say anything,” he whispered. “I was the one who raised my voice when I shouldn’t have.”
“But I hit you,” Iris whispered, feeling herself choke on her emotions again.
“That doesn’t matter,” the Titan whispered, keeping his burning eyes locked onto Iris’s soul. “We are both tired, upset, and confused. We’re both saying things that are only effective in hurting the other; we’re getting nowhere. So we’ll move on and discuss it tomorrow with our heads clear and approach this in a calm manner.”
“Are you sure?” Iris asked, slowly regaining her composure.
“I am sure,” Arylos responded with a nodding motion. “There is more we must discuss and neither of us are in the emotional state to do so.”
“But Sentarus wanted an answer presumably now,” Iris wondered aloud.
“I can’t leave this cell until we’ve decided,” Arylos answered. “So go home, I’ll be here in the morning.” He started pulling his head away from Iris but she grabbed him by his collar, keeping him close and unwilling to let him go.
“No,” she whispered while repeatedly shaking her head. “I’m staying here with you or you’re coming home with me.”
“That’s not an option, Iris,” Arylos quietly reminded.
“I’m making my own options,” Iris cut in. She let go of Arylos and stood up as Arylos lit another flame in his palm while he remained on the floor. “I’m going to talk with him real fast, you stay here okay?” she asked with a newfound confidence in her voice.
Arylos watched her and slowly rose up, fighting back against the shackles with the desire to reach out for her.
“Be a good boy and wait here, I won’t be long,” she added with a wild smile on her face, as if the crying girl just moments ago disappeared.
Without a word from Arylos, she turned and opened the door back into the hallway and closed it behind her. She went out into the foyer and saw Sentarus and Bellona standing near the staircase to the upper levels. She came up behind the two as they turned around to acknowledge her.
“Lord Sentarus,” Iris began with a deep breath. “With all due respect, you’re a fucking asshole.”
“Iris!” Bellona shouted but Sentarus waved her off to silence her.
“Please continue,” Sentarus requested calmly, very interested to hear what she had to say.
“What are you playing at?” Iris demanded. “You give Arylos the choice between exile or death, knowing that he will take death. You know he would rather you kill him than let this continue. You know he won’t try to stop you. So what are you playing at? What are you manipulating him for?”
Bellona gritted her teeth as Sentarus only sighed. “Don’t worry about that too much,” he instructed.
“How can you expect me not to worry?” Iris pushed forward, clenching her fists. “You’re talking about killing my friend. The only friend I have from Nageki. The only one that has been there for me since I lost my family and everyone else. And now you expect me to roll over and let you kill him just so you don’t have to worry about someone wanting to kill him first?”
“Because you lost your village, you should be inclined to understand,” Sentarus explained calmly.
“Oh I understand,” Iris returned, her legs shaking. “I understand that you are a manipulative man trying to make his own ends meet, no matter what it costs others. What could you stand to benefit from killing him?”
“He wouldn’t be dead,” Sentarus explained. “Just unable to interact with this world for a time. Exile in a way.”
“You forget that I won’t be able to interact with him either,” Iris corrected the king as her anger built. “For me, he might as well be dead.”
“And that can be true for others,” Sentarus continued explaining. “With Arylos unable to interact with this world, Reyz won’t have a reason to attack anymore. Odin will recall his son. Anoron will finally look away from Kaiyumi. My job is to keep them uninterested in this world specifically so they don’t bring war here and so far Arylos has brought nothing but war. I have to keep my people safe, Iris.”
Iris clenched her fists, having enough of the half truths. “Are you saying that I'm not one of your people too?!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, not even able to cry; screaming out of pure hatred and anger.
Sentarus was taken aback and had no words for the girl. She was right, in more ways than one. Sentarus lowered his head, deep in thought as he reconsidered the circumstances.
“What do you want?” the king asked softly.
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