《The Blunderbuss Chronicles: Jon The Farmer》Book 2: Chapter 16
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Mallory and Jon walked back to the wagon.
“What the hell was that?” Hector asked, meeting them partway. “I was about to draw my sword. I thought we were under attack.”
“Sabez was just giving a demonstration… if I tell you any more, you’ll be extremely jealous.”
“Fine.” Hector shrugged the comment away. “ We’re just about ready to go on our end.”
When everyone else returned, they took their places on the wagon.
This time, Hector took his seat in the front. Jon was happy enough to go to the back end of the wagon again.
It wasn’t long before the wagon had reached the port town. Jon could already hear the chatter of the docks as the wagon left the forest.
He turned and saw the wide array of wooden shops and buildings that were in front of them. The ground appeared to be also made out of wood, and even if there were a lot of people, the town had a completely different air than the one from the day before.
There wasn’t the main road at all. People walked among the scattered wood shacks just getting to where they needed to go. It was a town on the beach, and yet, it felt so different than the beach before.
The biggest draw to Jon was the large number of boats floating in the water at the other end of town. They went in all different directions, and some of them were just waiting for people to get on as well.
“The water is calmer over here.” Jon turned to see that Hector had looked to the back of the wagon to explain things to him.
Hector continued. “It’s easier for a lot of boats to gather around here and not worry about strong currents. It’s also easier to cross to the other lands in this section of the water.
Hector used his hand to denote the direction directly across the water towards the horizon.
Where Sabez lives.
“Me and Mallory and the rest of the King’s Guard didn’t cut through the mountains separating these lands, because it would have been too much time and effort. Also, it’s easier for a trap to be sprung there. Taking a boat around them is the simplest option.”
“It’s… nice of you to explain that to Jon,” Mercy said.
“Well, you said Jon is experiencing these things for the first time,” Hector responded. “I mean, I’m not like a tour guide or anything, but let’s say there’s a life-endangering conflict, and Jon has to escape-”
“Thank you, Hector,” Mercy quickly said. “You’ve done enough.”
The carriage stopped.
“Thank you,” Jon said.
Unfortunately, Hector hadn’t heard him. His attention was on Sabez.
“Can I have my wagon back?” Hector asked.
“...Sure. I will relinquish control of the wagon back to you…” Sabez stepped out of his seat. “I wasn't even aware it was given in the first place.”
“I didn’t! I mean, it wasn't! I mean, you took it!” Hector was clearly becoming flustered.
“Sorry, buddy, he got you there,” Mallory said.
Everyone else climbed out and met at the side of the carriage.
“Alright,” Hector said. “Me and Sabez are going to arrange for the next ship out of here.”
“And then I’ll be on my way,” Sabez said
There was a bit of silence after.
“...We’ll be back,” Hector said. “Meet back at that tavern over there.”
He pointed to one of the shacks, then he and Sabez left, leading the wagon with them.
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Mercy looked at Tallow. “Are you okay?”
“I’m hungry, that’s what I am,” Tallow said. “And I’m not gonna wait for them to get back to eat.”
She went to the building. Jon, Mallory, and Mercy followed after.
Tallow didn’t end up getting anything to drink. The four of them sat in silence at a table waiting for the other two to come back.
“...How do you like it here?” Mercy asked Jon, breaking the silence.
“It’s fine,” Jon said. He didn’t have any idea about the place. The other people in the tavern seemed to be happy, so he was happy.
“You ever been on a boat?” Tallow asked.
Jon shook his head.
“...Huh. I hope you don’t throw up.”
“Jon probably hasn’t even been at a beach before,” Mallory explained. “Right?”
Jon nodded.
“Really?” Tallow was stunned. “You like, lived under a rock before then?”
“Not under a rock. On a farm,” Mallory said. “Haven’t you been on one before?”
“...No. I’ve never been on a farm,” Tallow said. “At least, not like the one Jon lives on.”
“Maybe you should go to Jon’s farm when this is all over,” Mallory responded.
“Sounds boring." Tallow said. "But sure. If Sabez isn’t there, I probably won’t have anything to do, right?”
Jon agreed. The farm was boring. He never thought of it that way.
“Hey, you respect the farm!” Mercy said, slamming the table with her fist. “At least you’ll be able to go back there!”
“Calm your pitch-black undergarments down, honey,” Tallow responded. “I’m not gonna steal your boyfriend from you.”
“Stop calling him my boyfriend!” Mercy yelled.
“You act like he is one,” Tallow said.
“Well, you act like Sabez is your boyfriend!” Mercy replied.
Tallow stood up. “Now, you take that back!”
Mercy stood up as well.
Mallory also stood. “I thought we were past this! Guys…”
Jon was worried this time as well. This didn’t seem friendly in the slightest.
“Why do you guys look like you’re about to make out?”
Everyone at the table saw that Hector and Sabez had returned.
“Why are you such a pervert!” Tallow asked. She looked at Mercy and saw the glare she was giving her.
“...Fine, fine, you got me there. I don’t want to be compared to this meathead any longer…”
Tallow slowly sunk back down to the table.
“Now that you guys are settled in,” Sabez explained, “it will be time for me to depart.”
“How are you going to get around?” Mercy asked.
“I have ways. Mostly by the way of hitchhiking. But I will be able to provide for myself. You don’t have much farther to go. Maybe 2 or 3 days at most.”
“Oh,” Mercy said, frowning. “Yeah.”
“It was an honor traveling with you Sabez!” Mallory said. “You were cool to hang out with! You’re also the smartest non-mage person to talk about mana with that’s not Hector’s sister.”
“Which one?” Hector said under his breath as he rolled his eyes.
“I am sure that you will find plenty of enlightening conversations with your friends, and they will learn from you as much as you will learn from them.”
“I don’t have any friends…” Hector muttered. Jon thought he could hear the same thing from Tallow’s breath as well.
“It was cool, having you around, Sabez,” Mercy said. “I’ll try to get stronger.”
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“You’ll try to learn,” Sabez corrected, “even in the confines of your family dojo.”
“...Yeah…” Mercy scratched her head in embarrassment. “I’ll do that.”
Sabez turned to Hector. “You and Mercy will have the longest journeys ahead of you. Make sure that all of you work together to surpass your challenges.”
“We only have a few days left anyway,” Hector said.
“Yeah,” Mercy said.
“Do you?” Sabez countered.
Hector grunted but didn’t respond. Mercy looked on thoughtfully.
“Jon, I trust you will guard your friends. Including my pupil? And she’ll guard you in return.”
Jon nodded quickly. “Yeah.”
Jon then looked at Tallow. She was still staring down at the table.
“I guess I’ll be on my way,” Sabez said. “We’ll meet back up at the King’s Guard, as promised Tallow.”
“Wait!” Mallory said. “You guys have to hug! Like, before you leave.”
Tallow gave Mallory a dirty look.
“Tallow’s not a hugger,” Sabez said. “And I am not quite one either.”
“I thought you said you observe the cultural traditions of wherever you stay…” Hector said. “And… Jon’s a farmer! It’s his land! And farmers hug a lot!”
“Yeah,” Mercy added. “It’s proper.”
Even though Sabez’s face mask, Jon could tell he was grimacing hard.
“You guys should all just shut up,” Tallow said.
Still, she stood up and walked into Sabez head first. She wrapped her arms around him.
Sabez was stunned. He slowly wrapped his arm around her back.
“... Goodbye, my pupil,” he said.
They broke off and Sabez left the building.
“You really won’t last like ten days without him?” Hector suddenly asked.
“Dude, how can you go from like, heartwarming, to like, heartless in such a small amount of time?” Mallory asked.
“I don’t know! I’m just following what everyone else does!”
“No matter what,” Tallow said, poking her finger in Hector’s chest, “You won't be able to replace him.”
“I don’t want to replace him,” Hector said. ‘I want to be like him. Even though he’s wrong all the time.”
“...What?” Tallow was stunned. “What does that even mean?”
“He’s wrong all the time.” Hector explained, ‘but he’s so confident, it doesn't matter if he’s wrong, cause people will listen to him. So, if I can be confident and be right, it means that I’ll outpace him.”
“Hector… that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, and I love you.” Mallory hugged Hector.
“Stop being weird!” Hector said. He pushed Mallory off. “I’m gonna get supplies.” We leave at the end of the day.”
He left the tavern.
“That guy just doesn't stop, does he?” Tallow asked. “It’s kinda fun, actually.”
“I’m gonna make sure Hector actually gets enough supplies this time,” Mallory said. “So, I’ll be gone with him.”
Mallory left the tavern as well.
“I’m gonna look around town,” Mercy said to Tallow and Jon. “I guess you can stay here, if you want, Jon.”
“Okay,” Jon said.
“...I’ll be back…” she gave one last glare to Tallow, then she left as well.
“Well, farmer boy! It’s just me and you!” Tallow said.
“Yep,” Jon replied.
Tallow sat down with Jon. “So, tell me what I missed.”
“Missed?” Jon wondered.
“Yeah! How’d you get involved in this mess anyway? How does a farmer meet a couple of mercenaries and a princess?”
Jon was about to answer when Tallow cut him off.
“Not that I care, I mean, I don’t really care how you guys met. I’m just wondering why you’d leave your farm on just that note. I know you said you’re bringing Mercy home, blah, blah, blah. But don’t you miss your folks?”
“...Yeah…” Jon said. “Do you...”
“Nope. Never knew ‘em.” Tallow shrugged.
Oh. Tallow didn’t know her parents. Jon wasn’t expecting to hear that.
“Where do you live?” Jon asked.
“I live with Sabez’s family. His sister and her kids. He lives there too, but since we travel around so much, he’s barely there. I’ve probably been there more times than he has at this point.”
“...ah.” Jon nodded.
“...You know, I’ve never talked about myself this much to someone else,” Tallow said. “I mean, I talk, and I talk and I talk, but not about me, you know? In fact, I think I’m incredibly boring.”
“Ah-”
“And by incredibly boring,” Tallow continued, “I guess I mean, pretty normal, cause normal isn’t always boring, you know? I guess I conflate boring and normal, but that’s not true. I quite like my life. I like my normal. And now, my normal is not normal, so I have an instant urge to hate it. Like, hate it. Which is weird, because I’m always doing something new. So, wouldn’t doing something new be a normal thing? But I guess, it’s not normal, cause Sabez was always there. And now, he’s not. And his sister’s not here either. So, it’s weird. You’re weird. But I like talking to you. So… you’re normal… and I’m normal… and this is weird…”
Jon didn’t know what to say. He did agree with normal and boring not being mutually exclusive. That was a new perspective he hadn’t considered.
“You may be weird, but talking to you is normal…” Tallow poked Jon in the back of his hand, which rested on the table. “You’re a lot more easier to talk to than the others, which is funny because I consider them normal. But I think most people are annoying. So in this case, it’s good that you’re weird. I like weird.”
Jon did think that he was pretty weird. But his weirdness felt pretty normal to himself.
“...I like you too,” Jon said.
“Aw, sweetie, I’m way too rough for you.” Tallow rubbed his hands. “But I think we’ll make good friends.”
Jon felt himself blush, but he didn’t know why.
“I’m joking, I’m joking, I don’t need any ninjas trying to slit my throat while I’m sleeping. Or when I’m awake. Besides, I…”
Tallow stopped talking. Her eyes seemed concerned.
“Wait here... “ she said, her tone shifting dramatically, “and take out your gun…”
Jon nodded. He pulled his gun from his back and tried to stand up, but Tallow stopped him.
“No! Just wait! Don’t even look at me…” She stood up and walked behind Jon.
Jon tried his best not to look back. If Tallow had told him so, it made the most sense to listen to her.
He waited impatiently in his chair, jittering to want to know what would happen next.
Suddenly, a woman plopped in the chair next to him, making him shake in fear.
She had spiky red hair that also covered parts of her face, and both of her arms had golden claws that gave her a sharp edge on each of her fingers.
“I hope I haven’t taken anyone’s seat,” she said. Her voice was scratchy, and when she spoke, Jon could see that her teeth were unnaturally sharp in places.
Jon shook his head side to side. Still, even if the chair was occupied at the moment, he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with her sitting there.
“You see… I was hired on a bounty to capture a certain princess... “ she continued. “I was told that she was to be passing through here at a certain time, and as such, I made it my decision to look around for everything weird… around here.. And don’t you think a farmer sitting alone in a tavern is weird…”
Jon didn’t know what to say. It was weird to feel outed as a farmer again by somebody he didn’t know. Also, he didn’t know what a bounty was, but he was afraid that these were some of the dangerous people he had been warned about. Still, she hadn’t hurt him yet.
Hector had done the same thing when looking for Mercy. He found Jon and asked him questions. Was Jon just a magnet for these types of people?
Her golden fingers tapped the table impatiently.
“Well?” her tone became impatient as well. “Is it weird?”
“Uh… I’m Jon…” was all he could say.
“Well, Jon, you’re not on my bounty, so you should just tell me if I’m wasting my time!”
“Ah… A Vindazi, a farmer, a couple of mercenaries, and a ninja walk into a tavern…” Jon didn’t know what he was saying. He just remembered that someone had said it was weird.
“What?” The woman asked.
“Jon, shoot her!” Tallow yelled.
Jon’s gun was still in his lap, facing the woman. She reached for him, but his finger was too quick. The blast barely shook Jon under the table, and she was launched out through the front door.
Jon breathed a sigh of relief. He found talking to be very stressful at times.
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