《The Blunderbuss Chronicles: Jon The Farmer》Book 3: Chapter 9
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Jon followed Tallow as they went back to the room with the beds.
Inside, Mallory, Hector and Mercy were talking.
“Why is your sister even here, Hector?” Mercy asked. “Is she just here to piss people off?”
“In fact,” Tallow cut in, “are all your sisters like that?”
“No!” Hector said. “Macy’s the… well, I wouldn’t say the worst, but she likes to start fights. Likes to prove that she’s better than everyone at everything.”
“Like a certain someone I know,” Tallow said, looking at Mercy.
“You always have something to say,” Mercy said. “It’s getting irritating.”
“I’m irritating.” Tallow then turned her attention to Mallory, ignoring whatever dirty look Mercy gave her.
“What’s up with her trying to go for you like that?” Tallow asked. “You hit on her or something?”
“That’s a recent development,” Mallory said after a thoughtful pause. “Like me and Macy are close, but…”
“Mallory and Macy have known each other for a long time,” Hector said. “But I don’t see how she’s hitting on him.”
“Whatever. I’m off to sleep.” She jumped onto her side and landed on the bed.
“That’s it?” Mallory asked.
“That’s it,” Tallow answered. “Good night.”
She had stopped moving.
“I suppose." Hector took off his armor and hung it on the bed next to him. “This is the last time we’ll sleep in a room like this.”
“We never sleep in a room like this,” Mercy said, taking her place on a bed.
Jon took the bed next to hers. He didn't realize how comfortable it was the first night he slept. Much more than any other bed they had slept in before, even his own.
Mallory tossed off his robes and climbed under the covers.
“I’m not much of a dreamer,” Mallory said, “but sometimes, I wish I could just whip up a spell and magic everything together.”
“I like fighting,” Mercy said, “but not everything has to be a fight. Even I can admit that.”
“I don’t even know what I like…” Hector said.
“Don’t worry," Mercy said. After this thing is done with, we’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks,” Hector responded.
“Yeah, Hector,” Mallory responded. “We got your back.”
Tallow snorted.
“My back’s not worth saving,” Hector said. “Everyone should watch their own…”
He didn’t say anymore.
“Is his life always this stressful?” Mercy asked. “So full of… people and their problems?”
“Drama? Nah, Hector is pretty good at staying out of drama,” Mallory said, “but because of how things are, it’s always trailing behind him. Isn’t it like that for you?”
“Nah,” Mercy said. “I mean, I made sure that everyone in my clan stays away from me and leaves me alone. They probably say things about me… but no one wants to anger my father.”
She sat up from her bed. “Don’t you have to deal with things like this?”
“Nah. I just piggyback off of whatever Hector’s doing,” Mallory said. “I’m just your humble mage… trying to keep his head on straight.”
He paused with consideration.
“Kinda makes you wish we could live a life like Jon’s, right?” He asked.
“Yeah,” Mercy said, “I do…”
“Jon’s life is awesome,” Hector muttered.
Tallow snored.
Jon didn’t know what to say. He supposed that his life was pretty nice on the farm. Things were stressful, but he always knew that the people in his life were always on his side at least. Well, he didn’t know that ‘til now. It was a kindness that Dan had let Jon come with him and help him out. And he had taken it for granted.
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“I’m sure Jon hates his life too,” Mallory said after some thought. “Right?”
“I love my life,” Jon said.
“Of course. Good on you Jon…”
“Night, Jon." Jon heard Mercy trail into sleep. He also assumed Mallory was asleep as well.
“I love my life with you guys…” Jon said to himself.
The next morning, Jon woke up to Tallow packing a bag on his bed.
She noticed him moving and stopped.
“Hi,” Jon said.
“Hi," Tallow responded. “I’ve packed your stuff. We should only be gone for a day.”
Jon nodded.
He sat up, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“There’s a washroom up there if you want to give yourself a good rinse,” she said.
Jon nodded. He sat up and went to the back of the room.
There was a bucket of water left for him with a towel.
When he was done, Jon came back out to Hector and Tallow talking.
“I mean, he could have packed his own bag,” Hector was saying.
“Why do you even care?” Tallow whispered back.
Jon walked up to them.
“Oh, hi Jon," Tallow said, putting his bag down. "Let’s go. I’m tired of being lectured by this guy.” She turned and left.
“I’m just trying to understand,” Hector said.
Dan’s wagon was outside waiting for them. Lester was sitting in the front. He was leaning back, and his feet were crossed on top of one of the horse’s backs.
“Right where you belong,” Tallow muttered.
She turned to Hector. ‘Where’s everyone else?”
“They were requested to be with the King and my father,” Hector said.
“And you’re not there?” Tallow asked.
“I’m… I don’t know…” Hector said. “It doesn’t matter. I’m here to see you off, and that matters.”
“Thanks,” she said. “This… is weird.”
“It’s not weird!” Hector said. “I’m still King’s Guard. Just make sure Jon’s safe.”
“Meh, meh, meh, meh, whatever.” She turned away dramatically and climbed onto the back of the carriage. “I’d rather you were driving, though.”
“Thanks,” Hector said.
“I wasn’t being that nice,” Tallow said. “I was being patronizing. Come on….”
Hector hadn’t noticed. He was walking to Jon already.
He was still wearing his golden armor, despite not coming on the mission. Jon wondered if that or his billowy shirts were his normal clothing.
Hector handed Jon a knapsack. Jon realized that it was Hector’s waist bag, which was connected by a strap.
“Take this,” Hector said. “And this.”
He handed Jon a gem. It was orange.
Jon put the strap over his shoulder as Hector explained the gem.
“You can call me on it,” Hector said. “It belongs to the King’s Guard… but it’s very weak. Tallow has one too, and it’ll connect her to Mallory. It’ll probably only work once, so save it for emergencies.”
Jon nodded. He took the gem and put it in the knapsack.
“This is also yours.” He gave Jon a bag.
Jon took it and looked inside.
Money. There was a lot of it. Jon didn’t use very much money.
He collected it for Farmer Dan occasionally, but he never spent it himself. His mother kept an emergency stash, but it was never used.
“Are you sure?” Jon asked. “Tallow-”
“I gave Tallow money too,” Hector said, “but I think you should have your own. You should be able to make your own decisions. Even without me or the others… at least I think that’s what Mallory said.
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“Thanks,” Jon said.
“Don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything.” Hector gave a Jon a hard pat on his shoulder. “Be strong out there.”
Jon nodded. He went on the wagon and took his place next to Tallow.
Behind Hector, Jon could see Amalia and Macy walking up ahead.
Amalia walked past Hector without saying anything. She climbed on the wagon.
“...Be safe,” Hector said.
“It’s not safe. It’s a mission.” She answered.
Macy patted Hector on the back. “It’s fine, Hector. She’s a good girl.”
She then ran and jumped up on the wagon.
“I’ll protect her,” Macy added. “When everything with you and Mercy goes crashing down, you’re gonna need someone to marry.”
Hector held up his finger and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He seemed confused.
“That everybody?” Lester sat up. “Alright.”
He turned around. “Hector! Tell your sister we set off.”
“What?” Hector got back his usual scowl. “I thought she sanctioned this.”
“She’s not picking up my calls!” He said.
“Then who-”
“Be good, my brother!” Lester whipped the reins.
The carriage began to set off.
“Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything!” Hector yelled, raising his hands in frustration.
Jon watched as they got further and further from Hector. This would be the first time Jon wouldn’t be with Hector in a while. Just like his parents.
He wouldn’t be with Mercy and Mallory.
He looked at Tallow. She didn’t seem to mind at all. She leaned back comfortably, as always. Jon admitted to himself that he thought Tallow was cool. She was like Mercy, but Mercy switched between incredibly friendly, and putting out an air that forced most other people to respect her. Tallow… just didn’t care. He wished he could’ve done that when he was on the farm. He wondered how well his father would have handled it.
He then looked at Amalia and Macy. Amalia was staring off in the distance in front of the carriage. She didn’t seem very nervous, but neither particularly excited. She just seemed to be intrigued about where ever they were going. Jon wished he was smart enough to be intrigued by more things. At least he didn’t have to worry about her staring.
He then looked at Macy, who had put her elbow on her knee and had her head in her hand. She was leaning over, thinking hard about something. For once, Jon was afraid to know what she was thinking about. Jon just got the feeling that maybe he should be afraid, as she was the only one who seemed to shake Hector, other than Luther.
That was when Jon noticed the cavalry approaching the side of the horses.
“Now!” Macy said.
Amalia ducked into the bottom of the wagon.
Macy brought a large cloth and threw it over Amalia.
The calvary came close to the wagon.
One of the soldiers raised his helmet. It was Avery again.
“I’ll be seeing you guys off!” He yelled. “Gotta look good for the King, don’t we?”
“Roger, brother!” Lester yelled, he hadn’t taken his eyes off his path.
“How you doing, Macy?” Avery called.
“Not in a million years, lapdog!” Macy responded.
Avery clicked his teeth, winked, and slammed the helmet down and held the spear high.
The gate in front of the castle raised, and the wagon passed through without stopping.
The cavalry had stayed behind. Jon watched the walls shrink as they went further and further away.
Despite having a long time to settle, Jon still felt light in his stomach. He was expecting someone to speak for a while, but no one started to make conversation.
He didn’t want to speak by himself, either. So, he just waited.
“So.” Macy had finally spoken after they had traveled over a large amount of pasture. Jon shivered in reaction. “How long you guys known each other?”
“Long enough,” Tallow answered. “Though I should remind you, it’s none of your business.”
“Ohh… spicy,” Macy responded.
“You’re the ones who literally set yourselves on fire,” Tallow answered. “I don’t know why you’re calling me that.”
“Don’t you live in a fire?” Macy asked. “Oh, I mean a desert.”
“You trying to start something?” Despite her posture, Jon could see Tallow’s shoulders tense. His own shoulders tensed in response.
“A fire…” Macy whispered. She snapped her fingers, and a small flame appeared over her hand.
A sudden gust of wind blew the fire out.
“Cute,” Macy said.
“I hope you’re not trying to hit on me,” Tallow said. “And if you are, it’s a hard no. A bit too much on the crazy bitch side if you ask me.”
Macy laughed. She laughed continuously for a long time. Even Amalia had turned to see what happened.
“You’re funny,” Macy finally said after a sigh. “Maybe I should be hitting on you.”
“Come on, Macy,” Amalia said. “There’s no need to make enemies. It’s hard enough as it is.”
“I’m making enemies?” Macy said. “I’m not the one who walked into a castle and threw everything upside down for a spin. They’re making a lot of enemies without my help.”
“I’d rather have a lot of enemies than one of you sitting across from me,” Tallow said.
“Can we… start over?” Amalia asked. “I…”
“No one cares, princess,” Tallow interrupted. “You might have power at the castle, but here, I don’t have to listen to a word-”
“I’m just saying, we can try to be… amicable,” Amalia interjected. “Please.”
“As long as you stop expressing yourself using such asinine vocabulary, then sure.” Tallow shrugged.
Jon watched her shoulders relax immediately.
“I… would like to know more about Hector’s travels,” Amalia said.
“Yeah, what’s my brother blowing up on the other side of the world?” Macy asked.
“Doesn’t he tell you any of this stuff?” Tallow said.
“Come on,” Macy said. “Even if it hasn’t been that long, you know Hector.”
Tallow rolled her eyes. “It’s like you said. He blows things up. Beds. People. Himself.”
“Sounds like my brother,” Macy said. “You know he does it all to cover up the fact that he’s really small… I mean that he feels really small.”
“Waaaayyy… too much information,” Tallow said. “Besides, I’m bored talking about your brother already. What are you blowing up on this side of the continent, missy?”
Macy grinned. “Well, you know. People. The usual.”
“I’m guessing you don’t have many friends,” Tallow responded.
“And with that mouth I assume you don’t have many friends either,” Macy countered.
Tallow raised her eyebrow, but didn’t respond.
“I don’t need friends,” Macy continued. “They get in the way. I may not be in the King’s Guard, but I do a lot of traveling. For my father. It’s much more efficient to travel by myself.”
“I thought you said you didn’t like lap dogs,” Tallow said.
Macy giggled. “I just said he didn’t have a chance. Lap dog has nothing to do with it.”
Tallow's face scrunched in concern. “Ew.”
“You silly, you. I didn’t know Hector’s friends had such a dirty mind.”
“I’m not Hector’s… my mind’s my own thing,” Tallow didn’t say anything afterwards.
Macy looked at Jon. “What about you Jon?”
Oh no.
“I'm Jon.” He answered.
“Yeah, and he’s not very interesting,” Tallow answered.
“I’m sure he’s interesting,” Amalia said. “Would you like to tell us about yourself, Jon?”
“I’m Hector’s friend,” he said. He didn’t know what else to add. “I like lava bread.”
“What’s lava bread?” Amalia asked.
“It’s a delicacy made in…” Tallow looked at Jon. “How do you know about lava bread?”
Jon opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“Where are you from, Jon?” Amalia asked.
“My bets on somewhere in a deep, dark cave,” Macy responded. “Right.”
“Hey!” Tallow sat up. “Chill out.”
“Why? He’s your boyfriend? You gonna stand up for him?” Macy smiled. “Try me.”
Tallow looked at Jon, and saw his worried face. She leaned back again.
“You’re so lucky,” Tallow said.
“You’re the lucky one,” Macy said back.
“Alright.” Tallow put her hand on the edge of the wagon to push herself up.
Macy started to stand as well. Both Amalia and Jon reached out to hold back their respective partner.
“Play nice back there!” Lester called from the front.
“Aren’t you enjoying the show?” Macy called out to the front.
“I am!” Lester answered, “but I’m gonna need you guys to save your energy in order to kick the butt of the people not in the wagon. At least wait til we get back.”
“He’s right,” Macy said. “Thanks to you guys, my schedule is cleared for the foreseeable future. I’ll be around.”
“Just friggin’ great,” Tallow said, relaxing her body once more. She turned away.
“So, Jon…” Amalia caught Jon’s attention again. “On your back…”
Oh. Jon drew his gun from his back.
“Blunderbuss,” Jon said simply.
“Can I…”
“You can’t,” Tallow began. “It has an enchantment that-”
Amalia had already reached out for the barrel of the gun, which Jon had presented to her. Her hand grabbed firmly around it.
Tallow turned to Jon. “You need to cut that out!”
Jon was confused and concerned by Tallow’s tone. What did she mean?
“I see…” Amalia said. “Something tells me… I should let it stay with its owner.”
She let go of it slowly.
“That’s your weapon of choice?” Amalia asked. “A blunderbuss?”
Jon didn’t have a choice. Still, it felt not right to say that.
“Yes,” Jon responded.
“Jon’s a farmer. What else is he gonna use?” Tallow said.
“Country bumpkin, are we?” Macy smiled. “No wonder you’re so quiet. Haven’t said a thing this entire time.”
“Probably because he’s thinking circles around you,” Tallow said. “Farmers are incredible thinkers and planners. They feed entire populations. Most places would collapse without their assistance.”
Jon frowned. All of these compliments that Tallow was giving didn’t apply to him.
“Why don’t you give the boy a chance to speak for himself?” Macy asked.
“And waste his breath talking to you. Yeah right.” Tallow turned away.
“You really are in love with him, are you?” Macy said.
“I’m not surprised that the chick with no friends assumes that everyone has to be in love with each other,” Tallow said.
“I didn’t assume.” Macy said. “I asked a question, and you evaded it.”
Jon saw Tallow’s fist tighten.
“Guys!” Lester called. The wagon slowed to a stop just outside of a forest with thin bright trees.
He hovered his hand over his sword. “I think we may have trouble.”
Amalia’s hands went to her sides. Tallow took her sword and tossed so that it landed on an angle on top of her foot.
Jon was already holding his blunderbuss. He watched Macy, wondering how she would respond to the danger.
She didn’t. She simply stared at Jon, slowly giving him a thin smile.
Jon gulped.
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