Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.

- Virginia Woolf

Alyssa tried to keep walking at a sedate pace. It felt as if there were always people looking at her, some even seemed to talk about her as she passed. Internally she tried to quash such thoughts. ‘This is paranoia talking.’ Until she saw a group of students some of which she recognized from the void magic class. And there was no mistaking their poorly hidden attention. One girl did not see Alyssa until she was walking beside her, she blanched and took a few steps away. A red-haired boy snickered at that.

Alyssa went red in the face and tried not to show her discomfort.

She did not wait for the others to finish their classes but went directly towards their dormitory room. She could not associate it with ‘home’ yet.

As she entered the dorm the house mother greeted her. “Good evening. How was your first day? I hope everything went well?”

Alyssa nodded and smiled noncommittally, “Yes, everything was fine. I am just tired, it's all still very much overwhelming.”

Madam Gosling gave her a searching look then smiled. “Dinner will be served in about an hour, a bit more actually, so take your time and rest. It will only get more hectic from here on out. The professors delight in making the first year's initial experience a bit harsh so as to instill proper discipline. Don't take it to heart young lady.”

‘So she has sensed something.’ Alyssa nearly sighed aloud. But she was thankful for the friendly woman’s concerns. “Thank you, I will do just that.”

The moment she entered her room she fell onto her bed, her test paper and the parchment with the map and schedule fluttered to the ground. She groaned and tears pricked her eyes.

'I will not wallow in self-pity. I survived an undead attack, I escaped captivity which would have led to my torture and death, I am not some delicate maiden that cries when no one likes her.' Her thoughts shied away from the memories of the ones she had killed. Cyrus made a cooing sound and stubbed her with his forehead. From the bond, she shared flowed a quiet strength.

“How are you the more mature one between the two of us, mh?” She scratched behind his horns and he gave short rasping noises of approval.

Asandria hovered at the edge of her senses looking outside into the gardens.

Alyssa's thoughts circled round and round, ‘The mad rush down the mountain that I likened my travels to has stopped and I am reeling from the sudden cessation of momentum. There is no immediate crisis and I have the time to be a nervous wreck. That's all this is.’

“Asandria?”

‘Yes?’

“I think I would like to study the song for our bargain.”

‘That is a most excellent idea. Music is a balm for a wounded soul I always said.’ Something like a smile grew on her transparent face. Then she sat beside her and began to sing. Melodious notes rolled through the quiet evening air and even as Alyssa did not understand most of what she sang, she realized the emotions behind the foreign words.

It was a lament, not for a person, the song was a bit too grand for that, even though there might be someone for whom it could be fitting, it was a lament for an ideal, a dream, it was sadness for a past that never reached its future, a work of grandiose proportions that would never be finished. And as she listened she could not but weep for something other than herself.

And as she began to become familiar she at first hummed along, then tried to accompany the refrain. Her left arm began to burn and the sensation became worse the longer and the better she sang until she stopped with a gasp. Vapor from condensed water rose from the ice that had built up on her left hand.

Asandria became silent, then she kissed Alyssa’s forehead. ‘Not only people die. Memories fade, great works topple, nations crumble. But for today it is enough. I might even apologize for making the mood worse, but I simply can't bring myself to do it.’

Alyssa put her burning left hand under her right arm, trying to warm the bitter cold she felt. “It was beautiful and it certainly diverted my thoughts from the present, but why did that draw the void to me?”

‘Why do we use speech to access magic? Don’t answer- We use it to connect to the underlying harmony of the world to better grasp the mana. In the best case we draw upon the echoes of creation, all the magical languages have that in common. A song can be such a medium too…’

There was a knock at the door and Alea entered. She looked pensive but calm. Alyssa hastily scrubbed the tears from her face and tried to smile.

Alea scrutinized her, “What happened.” She walked over and after a questioning look, answered by a quick nod, she sat down beside Alyssa. Hesitantly, as if unsure she leaned against her shoulder. “You look awful.”

“Sorry. I did not want to worry you.”

“Please, tell me what caused this. This is unlike you.”

“You saw their reaction when I revealed my void affinity?” Alea nodded as Alyssa continued. “And I made the mistake to use Vanessa's teachings in void class. It worked well, very well. I may be even stronger than I was as I…” She shook her head. “And now everyone looked at me as if I was a freak.”

“Are you sure? Those people must have the void affinity too, they were in the class for void magic after all. So to avoid you because of that...seems a bit strange?”

“I don’t think they are, not all of them at least, comfortable with what they have, what they are.”

“It seems you aren't also?”

Alyssa stopped and thought. “Maybe. But I thought I was. And now I am unsure. We were in that basement, and there were corpses of criminals and I don’t know what came over me. Did I want to brag? Did I want to stand out, be better than them? The magic the professor showed me was like a crutch for someone who could run- and had done so in the past- something slowing me, making me worse than I knew I could be. Am I arrogant because of that?”

Alea thought about that seriously. “Yes, I think that is arrogant. And you probably did want to show off. And you know what? Everyone in my class tried to do it too. They all showed off. Me… I was a bit half-hearted. I could have done better. But I did not want the attention. I have only fragmented memories, for whatever reason, of my early life but I do remember the big celebration on my fifth birthday, a high priest of Jaros came and blessed me. My mother was so very proud, even if I can no longer remember her well, that is a memory that still remains.”

Alea hugged her. “You did nothing badly wrong. I fear that the stigma attached to your magic makes everyone more likely to shun you after that to better display them as being against the ‘dark’ aspects of magic and divert attention from them, even while they are learning to wield it themselves. Hypocrites.”

Alyssa hugged her back and the warmth of that embrace dispelled the last of the cold in her still hurting left hand.

“Do you know where Mireille is? It is nearly time for dinner.” Alyssa tried to change the somewhat heavy topic.

“I don’t. I was a bit late myself – I had a talk with a classmate, a…” she stuttered a bit. “...friend probably? Her name is Lieseleta, she is the…”

“...the princess?” Alyssa interrupted and then looked apologetic.

“Yes.”

“Talk about friends in high places.”

“That is exactly what I will not accept!” Alea pouted. “I tried to help her with something. I will not take advantage of her.” She sounded firm and even tried to extricate herself from the embrace.

Alyssa tightened her hug and pleaded, “Please. I did not mean it as something other than a joke in probably poor taste.”

“As long as you know.” Alea seemed a bit mollified.

“Thank you,” Alyssa said softly.

Alea was silent for a bit. They heard some people going by and soft unintelligible sounds of conversation. “Were you singing?”

“Yes.”

“It sounded like a dirge.”

“That is what it was.”

“You know that sitting alone in your dorm room singing an elvish dirge after your performance in void class – at least what I can guess- will not do anything to lessen the reputation you are going to get? It was beautiful though, beautiful and sad. For whom was it?”

“A people. A fallen empire. An extinguished dream.”

“Was it Asandria?”

“Yes, she teaches me. It was a bargain we made some time ago, but I don’t begrudge her, I want to learn and she is always helpful.”

A shadowed figure smiled at that. Long fingers spun shadows into a cat's cradle and played with the darkened strands.

Hasty steps went along the corridor and halted briefly before their door before it was forcefully opened. “Am I late for dinner? There was still someone cooking, so I can't be that late can I?” Mireille entered the room looked at the two girls, and asked somewhat out of breath.

“No, you should be just in time,” Alyssa replied.

“It's somewhat dark in here,” Mireille complained. “Lux.” She loudly said the command word and the glow globes flickered to life. “What happened? Why the sad faces? Why do you only hug Alea? I deserve to be hugged too. Preferably by both of you!”

Alyssa held her hand before her tearing eyes to mitigate the ache she felt looking into the suddenly bright room. Alea did not have that problem and got up to give Mireille a quick hug. “I will go first, I have something to do in the kitchen.”

The redhead seemed confused for a moment and then really looked at Alyssa. “Mh. I have had a really nice day. I think it is safe to say you...did not?”

Alyssa smiled wearily and stood up. “Nothing to be concerned about. Void magic is not popular, nothing new there.” She would be damned if she would continue where she left off with Alea, enough is enough.

Mireille frowned. “I think there is a bit more to it. You don’t want to talk?”

“No I talked to Alea already and I don’t want to rehash all of it. I don’t want you to think me a nuisance.”

“No fear of that! If you ever think that way be proactive and simply bake some cookies.”

"What's with the big words?" Alyssa hugged her. “Let's not talk about it just now. Later perhaps. You can't have a serious heart-to-heart talk in shifts.”

Mireille rubbed her cheek on Alyssa’s like a cat. “If you feel apologetic about that you can let me sleep in your bunk tonight. I nearly froze!”

“How you reached your ripe young age I will never know. You would have been an icicle the first winter in Firswending.”

The atmosphere thawed further as Cyrus was caught rummaging through Alea's pouches, which she had carelessly left behind.

Then they went for dinner. The girls were all already there and a few of them threw Alyssa concerned or slightly fearful glances. When the meal had concluded and everyone went to their respective rooms Lucille came over and asked. “I hope I do not annoy you with my question but did you really raise the dead criminals in void class, made them dance, and shock even the professor?”

Alyssa hesitated. “I tried a technique a friend taught me and the corpses reacted to that. No, they were not raised. The professor did not think it was a good idea. And that is the extent of it.”

“As I thought, the reality is always a lot more boring than fiction.” Lucille adjusted her glasses and seeing their strange gazes asked, “What? It would have been a feat to come into the academy as a first-year and already be an accomplished necromancer. I would have wanted to learn at your feet. Even if I have patently no talent for that kind of thing, sadly.”

“You would like to have talent in void magic? You must be the only one I know.” Alyssa looked curious.

“Yes, I always wanted to be more interesting...” Lucille blushed. “I was a bit caught up in this, normally I am not so forward. I hope I did not annoy you?”

“No, it was refreshing actually. Thank you.” Alyssa smiled.

They said their farewells, went to their room, and soon lay in bed. Mireille had made good of her ‘threat’ and was lying beside Alyssa. They were both small for their age so it was a tight fit but not completely unreasonable.

‘Tomorrow is the class about water, I hope that works out better.’ And with those thoughts in mind, she drifted off to sleep.