"Hoo… haa… hoo… haa...'"

Professor Markel watched on from the door to my room as I did breathing exercises in front of the mirror to calm my nerves.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What do you think I'm doing? Trying to calm myself down! The only interview I've ever done was for the caretaker job. Never mind going on international television!" I cried and took a seat on the bed before my anxiety knocked me out cold.

Today was the day of the interview. The U.S. government and Professor Markel had set the event up with an international news organization months in advance. I had only recently been informed. My only saving grace was that the interview was going to be conducted in the comforts of the dorm. Government property was easier to secure than at a news station, so the professor told me.

"I'm sure you will do fine." Ange flew leisurely into the room and sat behind me to massage my stiff shoulders. "All you have to do is answer a few questions. Isn't that right, Professor?"

"Yes, well… Journalists and news anchors might as well be sociopaths. Be careful not to let them twist your words. Even the most unbiased certainly always have an agenda," he warned.

I gulped hard, and Ange gave the professor a piercing glare that made him leave the room.

"Looks like I'm not helpful here. I'll go check downstairs to see if they're ready."

When Professor Markel had left, Ange came around front to pull me off the bed by my hands. She straightened the disheveled tie and smoothed out the creases on the shirt, then lifted my chin up to kiss me.

"Still nervous?" Ange asked.

"Uh, yes? You think a kiss is going to—"

She kissed me again.

"How about now?"

Now my face was red hot, and it was hard to meet her demon eyes under that affectionate gaze.

"This is just making me more nervous! I— "

Ange wrapped her arms around me, and shoved her tongue down my throat until someone from the news team called from downstairs.

"We're ready to have you now!" a woman shouted.

I tapped out on Ange's shoulder, and she finally let me go with a smile.

"I'm horny and nervous. Great combination, thanks." I sighed, then made my way downstairs to a host of people getting things into place.

All of my tenants were behaving in the kitchen, but I could tell they were all— except Remmy— excited about the interview.

Furniture in the living room had been partially rearranged and couches removed. In their place were three seats, one where an interviewer would sit and two where I, the interviewee, was going to sit alongside the tenants in turn. Multiple cameras and light diffusers were set up around the room.

I walked mechanically to my seat and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Mr. Katagiri!" A tall lady in a gray dress suit and at the prime of her life extended her hand to me. "I'm Shannon Geere. May I call you Akira?"

"Y-Yes. I'm Akira," I replied to several laughs, then cursed under my breath at nervous mistake number one.

"No need to be nervous," she said as we shook hands. "Just think of this as a conversation."

One person signaled to Shannon, who quickly scooted to her seat. Another behind the cameras began a countdown.

"We're live in three… two… one."

Shannon put on an entirely different face that lit up the room as much as the lights. "Good morning, world! This is COX News, and I'm Shannon Geere, bringing you an exclusive interview with the hottest topic in the world today— netherfolks from Weyera. The Caretaker Act has helped many netherfolks ease into Earth in recent years. They are the reason you may see a real cat or slime girl during your daily commute to work, and they may soon be brewing your morning lattes. I bring to you today one such caretaker at the tender age of 18, Akira Katagiri! Thank you so much for having us today, Akira. How are you feeling?"

"Thanks! I'm doing fine… just a little overwhelmed," I said, tugging on the collar of my shirt and wiping the sweat from my forehead.

"Before we get into interviewing the tenants, I'd like to ask you a few questions: is this job difficult for you? Until recently, you were still attending high school in Japan, right?" Shannon asked.

"I was! At first, being a caretaker was definitely hard. I hardly knew how to take care of myself, but I got the hang of it after receiving my first tenant. Now I'm doing great with seven of them," I explained.

"That's incredible, and thank you for your hard work. Which leads us into our first netherfolk guest— Cresta Waurassel, will you please join us?"

The excited catsassin leapt from her seat in the kitchen and, instead of coming straight to the seat next to me, she grabbed a hold of a camera and flashed a smile. The film crew, troubled by her sudden invasion, were throwing hand gestures at her from the side.

"Hi, everyone! I'm your adorable, lovable, oh-so-cute Cresta!" she exclaimed before finally letting go of the camera and joining me.

Too bad I was too nervous to give her a scolding. It would just have to be something I did once the cameras were off.

Shannon cleared her throat and continued. "Now the purpose of this interview is just to get a glimpse into how your life is faring. It says here, you're working at Rocket Burger, is that correct? Why did you choose to flip burgers and not aim for anything higher?"

"Why would I wanna do anything else? Rocket Burger has the best damn burgers I ever clamped my fangs on. Their new Ultra-Supreme Meal is so juicy, thinking about it makes me want one right now!" Cresta said, visibly salivating and needing to wipe the corners of her mouth.

I put a hand to my face. Suddenly we turned into an advertisement for Rocket Burger. They should really start having Cresta sponsor them as their mascot.

After a few more questions and a headache later, we moved onto Irapesha.

"You're a… dragon?" Shannon squinted at her papers.

"Dragonewt." Irapesha nodded.

"That's a… firefighter?"

"Is that so strange?" She turned to me for answers in a deja vu moment.

"It's funnier if you tell them you fight fire with fire," I whispered.

Next was Remmy.

Shannon adjusted the glasses on her face to get a better look. "Forgive me if I'm mistaking you for someone else, but aren't you Remmy_Rampage?"

"Uhm… I am…" She shrunk into blob form and plopped onto my lap to escape the attention.

Then Ines.

"You're not a netherfolk, are you?" Shannon asked.

"Nope! I just wanted to say hi to my family! Mama, I love you! Te quiero, mami!' she shouted into the camera.

One of the camera crew members had to wrench her away when she started naming her entire family lineage.

Tamara trotted up to the seat with Rakka, just as eager as Cresta to greet the world.

"My name is Tamara Chrisrande, and this is Rakka!" The small girl introduced them with the sheep in her arms.

"Oh, aren't you the cutest thing! You're the youngest of the dormitory, yes? How is school treating you, sweetie?" Shannon asked.

"School is a lot of fun! My best friend Alyssa and my favorite teacher Ms. Elaine always looks after me. I can't thank them enough!" She smiled into the camera and melted the hearts of everyone in the room.

When it was Valeanor's turn, she walked in stride to her seat.

"Valeanor Messier. You were a queen in Weyera? It is a pleasure to meet a dark elf of royal blood. Especially one who is so beautiful," Shannon said, buttering up the elf.

"Ah, you sound like one who knows how to treat a monarch properly. A rare find these days." Valeanor turned her nose up as if expecting more lavish compliments.

"Actually, this country dealt with the last monarch by rebelling against him." She chuckled.

"Excuse me— what?!" The elven queen choked on her own spit.

The last person to interview was Ange. Everything was going well so far. Most of the questions were harmless and only pertained to how they were adjusting to life on Earth. I just had to hope Ange wouldn't say anything that might embarrass me.

However, as soon as Ange took the seat next to me, I noticed a glint in Shannon's eyes that wasn't from the camera crew adjusting the light diffusers.

"Next we have Angeline Varcaz. For all you viewers who might be wondering— the answer is yes, she is in fact a succubus. The very first demon who earned a special visa to live on Earth," Shannon explained to the camera, then turned to Ange. "It must be very lonely being the only one of your kind here, isn't it?"

"Not at all." Ange shook her head.

"The others have such fascinating personal lives. One training to be a firefighter, another in the fast food industry… What is it that you do?" she asked.

"I'm a camgirl."

Silence.

Utter silence.

Even Professor Markel put a hand to his face.

"I'm sorry. I must not have heard correctly. Can you repeat that one more time?" Shannon leaned forward so as to better hear her.

"What Ange means is that she streams! She's a streamer! You know how that's all the rage now?" I answered in Ange's place.

"I see…" She appeared to have lost interest and swapped to another page in her papers. "How about we move onto the biggest elephant in the room? Is it true that you two are in a relationship with your caretaker? Has that not caused any complications with your living arrangements?"

Ange shook her head and giggled. "It is true, and it is the best possible living arrangement for me. We happen to be very in love and have sex everyday."

"Oh, my." Shannon blushed, and so did the other people on the news team.

"Ange, damn it! This is going to be on the news!" I whispered.

"You have no concerns that she is a succubus?" Shannon flipped back to me. "Maybe your relationship is only the result of whatever magic has charmed you? You can't be too sure if there is love between you two. Especially when it comes to what we call on Earth as a sex demon."

I was taken aback. Something about the interviewer's tone shifted, almost like she was shaming Ange now.

When it seemed like I was too slow, she added another. "As her caretaker, don't you think a succubus— a demon at that— is far too dangerous to let roam the streets? That perhaps it was too soon for the United Nations to try and integrate a demon to our world?"

Ange thought to respond, but bit down on her lip. She became troubled over being accused as something so dangerous. Although she wasn't angry, I became peeved in her place.

"What? Of course not. You can't judge every demon the same way," I contested.

The interviewer's eyes narrowed into slits. "You don't think a demon is dangerous? Even after what she did at Vandice Middle? The very same school your youngest tenant, mind you, attends? Or if, as a succubus, she forcibly seeks out sources of sexual relief beyond your notice? The public deserves to know. If demons are coming into this world to live among us, humanity should be allowed to have a say in that decision. We may live in harmony one day, but what happens when they go into a murderous rampage like in Weyera?"

Shannon had come prepared and came in swinging.

From the shift in cameras, I could tell many of them had zoomed in one me and were waiting for an answer.

I knew I had to be careful with what I said next. We came out of a war against demons that also took the lives of many humans. But Ange was ashamed of herself and her race enough. My own girlfriend was ashamed of herself on her race's behalf. There was information in Ange's documents that proved she sacrificed much in turning against them, but I couldn't say a thing because those details were classified.

While searching my mind for the right words, my eyes landed solely on Professor Markel. He took that as a cue to interrupt and end the interview until I put a hand up to stop him. I couldn't let Shannon get the final say.

"Angeline Varcaz, or as we at the dorm know her by Ange, is not dangerous," I said to Shannon.

As Shannon opened her mouth to interject, I interrupted her by standing up to talk into the camera instead.

"She is one of the kindest, most gentle souls I've ever met. She has a bigger heart than you can imagine, and isn't a sex-obsessed, murderous demon like you want to make her out to be. And just so that you don't put anymore words into my mouth to detract from this interview— We're done here. Thank you for coming. You may leave my dormitory."

I nodded to the professor, who then whispered into a device clipped onto his coat. In a matter of seconds, the special task force entered the kitchen to declare the interview over and start clearing people out.

Shannon was absolutely livid about being forced to leave, and I watched with joy from the foyer as she blew a lid to a poor intern on the way out.

"You handled it better than I thought. Good on you. We can consider this interview a success despite Shannon's unhinged and unsubstantiated accusations." Professor Markel patted my shoulder and left with the crew.

As soon as they were gone, the tenants surrounded me and Ange.

"You were so cool defending Ange like that!" Cresta exclaimed.

"That lady was really rude. She deserved it!" Tamara agreed/

"Oh, my god." I dropped to my knees and groaned. "I said all of that live on international news… I'm so freaking embarrassed right now…"

Ange hugged me from behind, and I felt the creases on her lips form a smile. "I thought you were very courageous. You even made my heart flutter."

The next morning, several of the tenants were up early and watching television in the living room. Ines, Ange, and Cresta had opened a news channel different from the one that had interviewed me. They were playing the segment of my outburst.

"And just so that you don't put anymore words into my mouth to detract from this interview— We're done here. Thank you for coming. You may leave my dormitory."

"AAAAHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR MYSELF ON TV!" I snatched the remote from Ines' hand to change it to the next channel, only to see myself again, and again, and again.

"You're a hit! The clip is even going viral online." Ines showed an online video of me on her laptop that garnered millions of views in a few hours.

"Nyahaha! Look! Everyone's trashing the news org for going off on you!" Cresta pointed to the TV.

A pair of news anchors had a hard time containing their laughter when the video of me ended.

"That just now was Akira Katagiri, caretaker of netherfolks from Weyera of Vandice Dormitory. Bless his heart for giving those netherfolks a new life in this world."

"Right you are. I also think that interview will make for great material on how interviewers should not act on live broadcast."

It turned out COX News which interviewed us yesterday was getting shit on by every other station. At least there was some justice to be had.

Ange beckoned me to take a seat next to her on the couch. I did, and she leaned her weight into me.

"Thank you for defending me. Everyday you remind me why it is you who I love," she whispered.