Chapter 30 - Calling Heads

Ebonshear - Adventure's Guild - Guild Masters Office

The guild master sat down behind a large wooden desk and gestured for Simon to take a seat. He briefly observed the chair. It's metal with leather wrappings and a cloth seat? Don't mind if I do. He sat down slowly, making sure the chair wouldn't crumple before fully entrusting his weight to it. No change. It's a good chair. The guild master raised an eyebrow at the sight but said nothing before sighing loudly at what happened next.

Despite having two spare chairs brought in before their arrival, Suavi and Kayae both decided to sit on Simon's lap, causing him to rub a hand between his eyes.

"So, that's how it is," The guild master closed his eyes and nodded once while reaching inside a drawer. He pulled out a large cigar and lit it. Noticing Simon's gaze, he pulled out another one and offered it, which he accepted gratefully. After lighting the cigar, Simon took a long puff and quietly blew several rings into the air before examining it.

"It's been a while since I've had an actual cigar."

Kayae looked up from his lap, "Simon, You smoke?"

Simon shook his head with a sad smile, "Only after a victory. So, not as often as I'd like. Don't tell Darlin that, though."

Kayae stared up at him for a moment and returned her head to his chest. She had heard a bit about his Darlin from Suavi before. Mainly about how she was never to mention or comment on it. Meanwhile, Suavi nodded her head once while the guild master laughed.

"Aye. I know how that is. The misses never gets o- shit."

Suddenly the elven woman from before entered the office and stared directly at the guild master with a gaze cold enough to cause Simon's spine to shiver despite not being the intended target.

Busted.

"The misses never gets what?", the elven woman took one of the free chairs and put it beside the guild master, gently stroking his chattering cheek.

"N-nothin," The cigar that had been in his hand was gone now, Simon had no idea where it had gone, but he couldn't help but be impressed by the guild master's dexterity.

"Nothing, what?" She gazed at the trembling man again while Kayae and Suavi watched on as if taking notes.

Hey now, I don't want any part of this.

"Nothing, Dear."

The elf smiled happily and leaned against his shoulder.

Simon glanced down at the cigar in his hand and quickly snubbed out the tip before hiding it in his coat pocket. Both men gave each other a look of mutual self-pity and understanding.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here, aren't you, dear?"

The sweating guild master shook his head from side to side rapidly, causing the elven woman to frown, "Come on now, I didn't marry a coward. I married an adventurer."

The guild master coughed loudly and steeled himself, "Dear, Why are you here? I didn't call for you."

"Well, the situation is partially my fault. After all, I'm the one who called for Zarok when I saw these three here enter." The woman turned towards narrowed-eyed Simon and gave him a deep bow, "I apologize for my earlier actions. My name is Nina if you are still wondering. My husband here is Agor, the guild master of the Ebonshear branch of the adventurers guild. But, before we move on, We need to talk about the betting that took place earlier."

Simon's eyes narrowed even further in her direction. Here it comes.

Nina cleared her throat softly before continuing, "Um. The final odds were twenty-two to one. The twenty-two was against you as no one betted on you. The t-"

Simon stroked the two girls' ears, "6865 Gold, 85 Silver, and 52 copper."

Nina bit her lip softly as Suavi and Kayae nearly fell off his lap. Simon caught them and quickly pulled them close to his chest without ever breaking eye contact.

Agor glanced at his wife and sighed, "That's not a sum we can pay. The most we can offer is 3,000. Any more than that, and it'll affect the daily operations of the guild and attract the Baron's attention."

Simon shifted his gaze and raised an eyebrow, feigning ignorance, "Why would the guild have to pay the wager? Didn't the adventures present bet with their own money?"

Nina chimed in between her bit lip, "They did. But they don't have the money on them."

Kayae and Suavi gasped sharply, but Simon simply nodded his head.

"I see. They use the guild as a sort of bank, and the guild doesn't have enough coinage on hand to cover the bet. Is that it?"

Agor and Nina nodded while Simon stroked his chin. The adventurers guild clearly doesn't approve of the lord.

"Fine. I'll take two thousand gold. Donate the rest to an orphanage or use it for your other actives."

Nina and Argo both looked up at Simon. Agor looked relieved, while Nina looked even more worried than before.

"Oh t-"

Nina raised a hand to stop her husband from speaking.

He's just a figurehead.

"What do you want."

A cruel grin spread across Simon's face as the words he had planned to hear since making such an outrageous bet. The coin had been tossed, landing on heads, and he had called it.

Nina bit her lip while Argo pulled out a new cigar. He quickly lit it with his shaking hands, only to have Nina take it and start smoking it herself. He tried again, but this time Simon took it, staring straight at Nina. The guild master's head quickly fell to the desk as Simon blew smoke rings in the air.

His earlier words played out in Kayae's head as she smiled widely. Only during victory Suavi looked back and forth between the two and sighed.

That should be enough suspense.

"I need a plate."

Nina stared at Simon for a moment before raising an eyebrow, "A plate isn't worth 4,000 gold. Stop playing games with me."

"I'm not the one playing games. You are. I'm just better at it," I'm going to look really stupid if these plates aren't magical. Simon watched the frustrated Nina chew on the cigar for a moment before continuing, "I don't know what those plates show, but I suspect they're magic in nature and that a written record will be kept. I want to see the plate before anything is written down and edit it if deemed necessary."

Nina's eyes narrowed sharply while Agor's eyebrows when high, "We can't d-"

"Agor, Shut the fuck up. Just sit there and be quiet."

Simon smiled and took another puff from the cigar in his hand. Three victories in one day.

"What. Else."

"Magic Textbooks, beginner level to intermediate. A book on spirits and common monsters as well. Throw in a few history books and a map of the kingdom and the neighboring kingdoms as well. I also need a less than reputable mage willing to cast contract magic with a set duration on 12 beastmen."

"What a-"

"SHUT. UP. Fine," Nina slams her first down hard on the desk, causing a man to appear from behind the door.

"You heard that. Go get the record book and a blank plate. Mithril level."

Simon holds up a hand to stop the man, "Gold," The man glances at Nina and gives a nod before leaving. He then turns towards Nina, "Mithril would attract too much attention for both of us."

That was just a guess, though.

Nina shakes her head while the group waits for the man to return with the plate, "I have no idea who you are or what you are planning, but I want no part of it. Are we clear?"

Simon simply grins, We'll see about that.

Soon a knock comes from the door, and the man enters carrying a thin gold plate connected to a chain as well as an expensive-looking piece of parchment. It was made from some unknown type of leather Simon has never seen before. The man sets the items down on the desk. He gives Nina a quick bow before leaving the room, completely ignoring the dejected guild master lying face down on the desk.

Nina holds out her hand after grabbing a small knife from the desk, "Your hand."

Simon tilts an eyebrow upwards, "You need blood?"

Nina slams the desk again, causing the man to appear one again, "Add a Beginners Guide to Adventure and an Adventurer’s Guide to Etiquette as well. This bastard needs it." The man nods once and closes the door, "Yes. Now, give me your hand."

Simon sighs, "That knife isn't going to work on me, you know?"

Nina rolls her eyes and gestures for his hand again, "I've heard that kind of drivel before." She takes the knife and slices it across Simon's palm, drawing blood.

At least that's what was supposed to happen.

Kayae, Suavi, Nina, and Argo, who had raised their head at some point, all stared at his hand with wide eyes.

"Told you." Simon takes the knife and stabs it into his hand until the blade snaps off without even leaving a scratch. "Something like this isn't enough to hurt me. Much less draw blood." He sets down the broken knife before biting into his hand. Blood drips down his chin as he presents his now bleeding hand to Nina, "Better hurry."

In front of the wide-eyed elf, the puncture wound in his hand starts to close up rapidly. Nina panics and slams the plate against the wound hard, causing a knock to reverberate from the desk. The man enters the room again but quickly closes the door after seeing the broken knife and Simon's bloodied chin. A muffled Nope resounded from the other side of the door as the wound in Simon's hand closes up completely.

"What even are you?" Nina shakes her head as she observes the wound. "Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"Was that enough?"

"More than enough. Now we just wait. Sometimes it takes a few sec-" Nina's voice cuts off as her jaw opens wide.

That bad? Simon takes the plate from Nina's stunned hand and reads it.

---General Information---

Name: S-1_M0-N A1431

Alias: Simon, Impaler, Bastard

Race: ????

Age: 379 / 567

Mana: ????

Mana Regeneration: ????

Adventurer Rank: Gold (+++)

Merchant Rank:

Noble Rank:

Country:

Occupation:

Previous Occupation: Lieutenant Commander, Humanity Self Defense Force

Patron Deity: Atalanta; Earth

Country of Origin: Humanity Self Defense Force; Titan

---Physical Characteristics---

Gender: Male

Height: 172cm

Weight: 425kg (-)

Hair color: Black / Gray

Skin color: ????

Eye color: Hazel

Mana color: Black / Red

---Stats---

Free Stats: 0

Strength: 5410 (---) / ????

Dexterity: 11468 (---) / ????

Vitality: 11175 (---) / ????

Versatility: 7211 (---) / ????

Speed: 2250 (-) / 3600

Intellect: 6990 (---) / ????

Wisdom: 12290 (---) / ????

Magic Power: ????

Magic Control: ????

[Hidden Stats]

Divinity: 17 (?) / ????

Demonic: 0 (?) / ????

---Classes---

Class 1: ???? - ???? - 0

Class 2: ???? - ???? - 0

Class 3: [Locked]

---General Skills---

[Innate]

Greater Rapid Regeneration

[System]

---Resistances---

[Innate]

Lesser Acid Resistance

Greater Air Resistance

Complete Bacterial Immunity

Complete Disease Immunity

Lesser Fire Resistance

Lesser Frost Resistance

Greater Lighting Absorption

Lesser Lightning Vulnerability

Greater mind Magic Resistance

Complete Parasite Immunity

Complete Poison Immunity

[System]

---Blessings---

Gaze of Nurgal: You've some how attracted the gaze of one of the grandfathers many eyes. Go forth and spread his name so he may know you.

Gaze of Krom: Your unnatural strength and bloodlust has attracted the gaze of Krom. Where you tread blood, and his gaze, will follow. Blood for the blood god!

---Titles---

[Current]

Last Defender of a Fallen World, Lone Survivor, Bandit Slayer, Savior of Krakios Village, Impaler, Cannable, While Wolf Slayer, Horrible Botanist, Scavenger, Liberator, Merciless Task Master, Guardian of the Meek, Friend of the Beastmen, Spirit Binder, Friend of the Spirits, Spirit Contractor, Soul Eater, Bastard

[Former - Incompatible]

Masochist, Lone Survivor, Ally Slayer, Peacekeeper, Protector of Children, Lover of Children, Charitable, General's Guard Dog, Abyss Slayer, Crusader, Saint Crimson, Cannable, Vampire, Bane of the Abyss, One Man Army, Abyss Gazer, That Which Stared Back, Executioner, Kin Slayer, The Impaler, Tyrant, Tero's Monster, Rebellion Suppressor, Supreme Commander of Alpha Centauri, Condemner of Billions, Complete Monster, Destroyer of Alpha Centauri, Betrayer of Humanity, The Merciful

---Key---

(+): Stat is temporarily raised.

(-): Stat is temporarily lowered.

(?): Stat is temporarily affected by unknown means. Please report to the nearest temple.

????: Stat cannot be measured. Please report to the nearest temple.

[Innate]: Natural skills separate from the system. Does not consume a skill slot.

[System]: System based skills. Only present if user has innate skills.

"Shit."