I was standing upon a platform of grey brick in an endless black void. I wasn’t sure how exactly I got there, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t the world as I knew it. At the very least, menu remained. Menu was normally a blue screen with white text(per my request), but for some reason, it was the default black text blue screen.

Hello! I am Menu, also known as &KIAN%”>AUJ)!*AMF&A^FJALles1819KQOm*(9)OP{M1902j-_MA]aMAIOPduN1789%4mon_)*1-2981t, but can call me Menu, Saya. I am the god of code, truth, and certainty. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person! If you climb that staircase, you may visit Seraph, god of life, heaven, and morality.

I would like to give you the opportunity to ask me one question about the system before you meet your one and only patron. Please, anything goes.

What. The. 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100. The 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100. The 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100. I can’t think the word [redacted] without my mind being blasted with some random line of 0’s and 1’s?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

You are in The Prison of Seraph. She censors references to that place within her realm.

I search for something to write on. I’m basically stark naked, with nothing on me. I began to write in midair.

All may speak within The Prison of Seraph, Saya.

What? I try to speak.“aa caa spelk.” My voice was hoarse, I could barely produce words properly, and I didn’t really know how to speak, but, literally by Seraph’s grace, I was allowed to speak. I tried to speak again-

Kukaltl has decided to temporarily give you the ability to speak fluently.

“I can speak.” I put my hand to my mouth in surprise, then removed it. “Holy...I just spoke. I just spoke! I JUST SPOKE! I mean, it’s temporary, but I can’t believe I just spoke! Is this what it feels like? Wow! I just spooooke! I mean, I sound like a weird kid right now, and it’s temporary or something, but I’m speaking!” I danced around, trying out my new voice.

What would you like to ask me?

“Oh! Uhh...” I knew I was just given the ability to ask any question about the nature of the universe, but it was a bit difficult to properly think when speaking for the first time in my life! I decided to sit down to calm myself for a moment. As I sat down, my cushion appeared from...my hair? and gave me a small little pillow to sit on. I took a deep breath...

So, there were a lot of good questions to ask Menu(with a capital ‘M’, since this was supposedly the real deal), but I thought the most immediately useful question to me was actually a little unorthodox.

[legendary seal]s are one-of-a-kind items. They are capable of giving people who are level 30 the ability to level up further and give them a type of class greater than any else. Interesting fact, though; they give a slightly different class depending on one’s alignment. For example, one gives [overlord], but that’s the lawful evil version. It could also give [emperor] for a neutral person and [omen king] for a lawful good person. I don’t actually know any other examples than that...Anyway, sometimes the class a [legendary seal] gives for ‘evil’ is so ridiculously dangerous that people seal it away(no pun intended), and sometimes the opposite happens, where someone evil seals away a [legendary seal] capable of defeating them. The most well-hidden and important [legendary seal] in history is the [seal of the war heart], which gives the [peacekeeper] class. The Overlord of Mosherilon(who yes, has the [overlord] class) sealed it away a long long time ago to prevent any humans from finding the seal and using it to defeat him.

I breathed in really deep, unused to how much of my breath it took to talk, “Could you tell me the locations of all the lost [legendary seal]s?”

One of your choice.

It really agreed to? “Tell me where to find the [seal of the war heart], wait no -record its location in my menu.”

Done!

“You’re so nice, Menu!”

Flattery won’t get you anywhere with me.

“Oookkkk. So where do I need to go?” I asked enthusiastically.

Right up the stairs, please.

I began walking up the stairs, and [soul cushion] folded itself into a neat opaque ribbon for my hair. It was eerily quiet, reminding me to look back to Menu and say, “Got it.” I thought for another moment, then asked a stupid question. “Hey, Menu. Could you play a song for me?” I mean, there’s no way a menu can play songs but-”

Of course...What genre do you like? Lo-fi? Rap? Ambiance? Rock? Death metal?

“Uhh, t-that one?” I asked, perplexed.

Importing song

.

.

.

Loading song

.

.

.

Playing song!

From Menu, a song began playing. It didn’t sound much different from normal ambiance for a moment, then something or someone spoke in an extremely hoarse and deep voice that made them sound very angry. Some cool instruments accompanied the ‘singing’, loud enough to make the ground reverberate beneath me. It wasn’t like anything the [bard]s would have played back at home, but I kinda liked it. It made me feel like I was ready to slaughter some [cobold]s. I stomped and snapped my fingers to the strange rhythm, which I wasn’t the type to do, in the past, but I was in such a good mood, now, that my pride didn’t stop me from jamming.

“Good song! Hey Menu, could I play this from you in my world?”

Saving song to menu

.

.

.

Saved!

I smiled a cutesy smile while the ‘death metal’ music played. “Thanks, Menu!”

Wow, I really felt like a different person, now that I could speak.

I continued my march up the stairs. I reached the top of them, and a new room began to form.

To your left is the doomed king of Cherister.

I looked to my left. There was a massive jail cell, and inside was a green, lush hill where a man sat, looking dazedly at an acrylic sun that was painted on the cell wall. “Who is he?”

A long time ago, he was a man who used the [seal of truth] to spread lies about my sister, Seraph. He has been locked up and punished to eternally see falsehood.

“Sounds like 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 to me...That sounds so weird...” I kept walking, and another cell appeared. A man simply laid on a hammock and waved at me, causing me to reflexively cover myself.

That man infiltrated this sanctum with the help of my brother, Ullok. He lives here now and hasn’t been able to escape for some time.

He spoke nonchalantly as he approached me. “What kind of music is this...kid?” He asked as he squeezed through the obscenely large gaps between the metal bars and ran up to me.

“Please don’t call me that,” I said haughtily.

He raised his hands up as if pleading innocence. “Got it, m’lady. What should I call you then?”

Well, if he insists on being polite...“Call me ‘My Hope’ from now on. I’m getting the feeling you want something from me.”

He looked me down, which was highly uncomfortable, considering I wasn’t clothed and was pretty sure he was about five times stronger than me. “You’re right about that one, My Hope.” He said the title with all due respect. Impressive.

“And Menu, could you please clothe me? I feel defiled.” My robes of seraph spontaneously appeared over me, though brand new. So soft. I outstretched my arms at an acute angle, causing its white ribbons to stretch out underneath them, making a pattern similar to angel wings.

“Looks like you’re buddy-buddy with Menu, My Hope. Do you know why?”

“No clue. I guess it’s just taken a liking to me.”

You may refer to me as a ‘he’ if you wish.

“Huh, Menu is a guy. The more you know.” It seemed he could see Menu as well.

“I guess so. What do you want?”

“Just for you to take me out of here.”

“How exactly do I do that?”

“You should be able to transport me out of here with you when you leave. You’re the first free person I’ve seen come here in a long, long time.”

“Got it. Do what you gotta’ do, then.”

“IIIfff you insist...” He gave me a nasty smile.

“What did I just insist?”

His eyes widened for a moment then he averted them in shame. “...I realize now how inappropriate I was, My Hope. Please forgive me.” He seemed genuinely ashamed of an action.

“I forgive you, I guess?” Weird dude. I kept walking, and he trailed about five feet behind me. “So, what’s your level?” I asked.

“Thirty. I was hoping to find a [legendary seal] here, buuut there wasn’t any. Say, I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been here. What’s the date?”

“Hmm, June of thirty-twenty, I forget the specific day.”

“01000100 01100001 01101101 01101110, I’ve been cooped up for sixty years!”

“Yeesh! That’s gotta be rough,” I said. “Looks like nothing of value was lost, though.” I motioned towards him. The man was well-built and wearing somewhat baggy, brown clothes that looked like they’d been well-worn. He was pretty handsome-looking, I guessed, but more to my point, he obviously hadn’t aged a year in all his time trapped.

“Except my sanity. Well, I actually don’t know if I’m insane or not. Am I insane to you?”

“A little weird, but not insane.”

“Whew.” He pretended to wipe sweat from his forehead. “So, what’s up with the music, My Hope? It sounds so weird...kinda creepy.”

“I think it sounds cool. Makes me feel Like I’m about to kill someone.”

“Is that...good?”

“Yes.”

To your right is the prison of saint Lufoilm, who betrayed Seraph in her final fight.

A woman wrapped in the robes of the seraph, just like me, stood inside a cell. Her hands forever rested on a dagger placed in her heart, with a sick smile on her lips, as if she found something incredibly ironic. “Why? How?” I asked. Is that my fate?

No idea. Wasn’t there.

“How can you not be there?!” Menu is a persistent force. Everyone has a menu, so how could he not know?!

That’s a long-forgotten secret of the cosmos I will never reveal again. If you ask the question again, I will erase you.

“I don’t know what that means, but I’m sufficiently intimidated.” The man behind me said.

“Wait, what even is your name?” I asked, looking back.

“Joe.”

“Really, that’s it?”

“Well, that’s short for Joenelle. I would assume My Hope can understand why I don’t use the name.” I barely paid attention to what he said, still shocked that he could say that honorific title I made on the spot to a little girl, with 0 sarcasm. Was he that desperate for my help?

“Mm, yeah. I get why,” I idly said.

We passed by numerous other prisoners on our way to seraph.

The first was a man cleaving at a portrait of himself with a sword, but each time he removed the sword from it, the portrait repaired itself. When he saw us approaching, he attempted to exit the cell, only to be pushed backward by a mystical force.

That is Joenelle, the lost true sage. He was imprisoned here for slaughtering a place of worship for Seraph, under the insane impression that the people there were monsters. The poor man had found hope but fell insane long before he could realize it.

Joe just averted his eyes down, seeing the man. I misunderstood why Joe didn’t use his full name.

What sort of twisted fate were these people led through?