It’s about an hour of driving to get to Sarah’s house in Oakland. She lives at a pretty nice place in a neighborhood called Cleveland Heights. Her house is two stories, and there is a fine red brick staircase up to the front door flanked by two magnificent trees, one birch and one oak. (I see some squirrels climbing up and down the oak, and vaguely wonder how Ted is doing back at home. We couldn’t take him with us on the airplane, for obvious reasons.) There are many cars parked along the side of the road, and we have to go to the next block to find a good place to park.

The front door leads us straight to a large entrance hall, with a fine tile floor and a table with an expensive looking vase. There must be about two dozen people over, who are scattered through the house chattering. Right when we come inside, we’re greeted by an incredibly beautiful woman. She has long blonde hair that perfectly flows from her hair down her back. She has a calm and detached demeanor, and is wearing a dress that is blue like mine, only fancier.

She smiles serenely at us, and shakes each of our hands as she greets us. “Gregg, my old friend. Good to see you again. Alyssa, I hope you’ve been well. Ashley, nice to see you in the real world for a change. And you must be Zoe. I’ve been looking forward to getting to meet you.”

I can’t help myself from blushing a little as I shake her hand. She’s so pretty, just looking at her makes my heart beat a little faster. I think that’s called being “horny.”

“Thanks for having us over,” Ashley’s dad… I mean, Dad, says.

“It’s my pleasure. I was hoping to get the opportunity to catch up,” Sarah says. “You may come to the kitchen for drinks. We have soda for the kids, of course.”

“Let’s go get something, dear,” Dad suggests. “One of my ex-girlfriends is nearby and I’d rather avoid bumping into her.”

“Ah, is this the communist, or the one who cheated on you?” Mom asks.

“The one who cheated on me.”

Mom smiles grimly, and both of them leave for the kitchen with Sarah.

“I’ll get you something,” Ashley offers. “What do you want?”

“Diet Coke if they have it, please.”

She nods, and follows her parents.

I look in the direction that Ashley’s… our? parents were looking, where there’s a black woman with wavy hair talking to one of the other guests. Is that Dad’s ex-girlfriend? Next to her are two boys. One of them seems to be slightly older than me. He is tall, tough and muscular, with dark skin like (who I’m assuming is) his mom’s. He has a tall nose and hair on his chin, making what appears to be the start of a goatee. The other boy is much younger, but has similar features. He’s nervously hanging behind his mom.

The older boy notices I’m looking at him and says, “Good evening.” Given his tough appearance, I’m surprised by how gentle his voice sounds.

“Good morning!” I say back. “Uh, I mean, evening. Oops!”

I’m trying to think of something else to say, when a different boy walks up to us. He has a lean build and long, dirty blonde hair. Most girls would probably find him attractive. I notice a few facial similarities between him and Sarah, so I guess that he’s related to her. The long-haired boy goes straight up to the older black boy and cuffs him on the shoulder, smiling and seeming to be in good spirits.

“Hey Freddy, how’s it going, man?” He turns and sees me, and his eyes narrow mischievously. “Hello there. My name’s Edward.” He reaches his hand out to me, and I shake it uncertainly.

“My name’s Zoe,” I say.

“Nice,” Edward says approvingly. “Hey Zoe, you have such lovely hair. Are those curls natural?”

“Um… yes, they are.”

“I love hair like that. So, you from around here?”

“No,” I say. “I live in Texas.”

“Whoah! You sure came a long way. I’m from out of state too. Post Falls, Idaho, specifically. But I’ve been thinking about going to college here.”

He gasps suddenly, and grabs Freddy by the shoulder. “Dude! Freddy!”

“What?” Freddy asks, somewhat annoyed.

“We should start a band together! You play drums, right?”

“Yes, I do,” Freddy replies calmly. “But we need more than two people to make a proper group.”

“Ah bullshit, no we don’t! We can be like that one band. There’s only two guys in it. What’s the name?”

“Uh… Twenty-One Pilots?” I suggest.

“YES!” Edward affirms. “See, the lady knows.”

“Well, can you sing?” Freddy asks. “I thought you only knew how to play piano.”

“Sure! I can sing and play keys!”

“Can you do that well? ”

“Of course, man.”

“He’s lying,” says a female voice from behind me.

I turn to find a beautiful blonde girl who must be another relative of Sarah’s. She looks a couple of years older than me, and like Sarah in many ways, except her hair is a little rowdier, she’s wearing a black choker around her neck, and she’s grinning carelessly. “I’ve heard him sing. He’s certainly no Tyler Joseph,” she states.

“Hey, butt out of this, Nicky!” Edward says, waving his arm at her as though batting away a fly.

“I do hope my idiot brother hasn’t been bothering you,” the girl says to me. “My name is Nicola. It’s nice to meet you.” She smiles at me. I know I should respond, but she has such a natural charisma in the way she speaks and emotes that I’m left momentarily speechless.

“Hey, I’m not bothering her,” Edward says defensively. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re an incurable flirt,” she says bluntly.

“I’m allowed to flirt. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Well, just then you were trying to flirt with a lesbian,” she says matter-of-factly. “So I’d say your princess is in another castle.” Freddy chuckles and gives Edward a light punch on the shoulder.

“Wait… how did you know that?” I ask.

“I’m a people person,” she says simply, winking at me.

Ashley returns just then, holding a bottle of Diet Coke. She hands it to me, puts her arm firmly around me, and asks, “Are these guys giving you problems, Zoe?”

“Told you,” Nicola says slyly.

“No problems here,” Edward says defensively, throwing up his hands. “Hey Freddy, let’s bounce, there might be some more musicians here we can recruit for our band.”

“I never formally agreed to starting a band,” Freddy says, but he’s too late, as Edward is already hurrying into the living room. He shakes his head and follows him.

“So, what’s your deal?” Ashley asks Nicola. She looks a little flustered; I can tell she also finds Nicola very beautiful. “Are you a relative of Sarah’s?”

“I’m her niece. You may call me Nicola,” she explains. “Nice to meet you. I apologize if my brother was bothering her.”

“Oh, no! I’m fine!” I say. “He was just talking about starting a band and stuff.”

“It seems that musical abilities run in your family as well,” Ashley comments. “Do you play anything, Nicola?”

“I play the harp in orchestra,” she says. “What family are you from, then?”

“My dad, Gregg Davis, went to UC-Berkeley with Sarah,” Ashley explains.

“Ah, lovely,” Nicola responds. “So, you’re a friend of the family.”

“I suppose so,” Ashley says. “You know, I think I’ll take Zoe out to see the pool. It’ll be too cold to swim in, of course, but I’d like to be somewhere a little more quiet.”

“Do enjoy,” Nicola says, smiling at us again. “Come find me if Edward is being annoying again, okay? Au Revoir. ”

“ Au Revoir !” I say back excitedly, recognizing the phrase from my French class.

She gives a casual little wave and a wink, and then walks towards the kitchen. Ashley and I both unconsciously watch her as she leaves.

Sarah has a fairly large backyard, with a nice paved patio area with several comfortable looking chairs, as well as a full-sized glass table that sits alongside the pool. Despite what she said to Nicola, Ashley takes me away from the pool and off the pavement, into a secluded corner of the yard.

“What do you think of the place?” Ashley asks conversationally, leaning up against the wall of the house.

“It’s really nice,” I say. “Sarah must make a lot of money.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she does,” Ashley says. She sighs wistfully. “You know, Zoe, Sarah’s kind of an idol for me. Growing up, I always wanted to be just like her. I wanted to be a big time famous musician, make a lot of money, and have a big house full of pretty girls.” She shakes her head. “I mean, I don’t think it’s really the money that mattered to me. I just wanted attention, more than anything else. I’m realizing more and more how stupid that is.”

I listen silently, wondering where this is going. She takes a few steps away from the house and looks at the sky. The sun has set, and the sky is quickly darkening.

“I don’t really even know what I want my life to be like now,” she continues. “I’ve given it some thought. But I know that a decadent wealthy life wouldn’t make me happy anymore. I still have my love of music, of course. I think I would like to make that a career. But, not to get famous or anything stupid like that. I mean, have you seen celebrities? They all go crazy and get addicted to drugs, and they’ve been married and then divorced so many times. Paparazzi follow you around every time you go to the store. Sounds like hell, honestly. More and more, when I’ve thought about my future, the only common theme I see is that you’re there.”

She pauses for a moment. I feel like this should be a sweet moment, but… I’m surprised to find myself getting a little bit angry with her.

She turns back towards me. “You’re the most important thing to me now. It’s scary to think about, but I have to be honest with myself about it. And when this year started, I wondered if I’d ever find love.” She smiles at me.

“I’m the most important thing to you? Is that true?” I ask her.

“Yes. It really is.”

“Your actions have not reflected that.”

The smile falls off her face. She now looks annoyed with me. “What do you mean?”

“We haven’t gotten to talk at all this whole trip,” I tell her. “I’m supposed to be on a vacation with my girlfriend. And yet I feel so lonely, all the time.”

She huffs at me. “Well sorry I’m not much of a social butterfly recently.”

“It’s been hard for me. I’m not going to lie,” I tell her.

“Well, you think it hasn’t been hard for me?” Ashley responds, her voice showing some aggression.

“I’ve told you, Ashley. I want to know what’s going on with you. I want to be here for you.”

“Well, Zoe, there’s some things that you can’t really help me with.” She turns away from me. “There’s no magic thing you can say that makes it okay that I basically got someone killed. Someone who was just about to turn her life around and become a better person. What a pointless death. You go out every day to save people, and this happens instead. I feel most of the time as if I’m still being wrapped up in those horrible vines, being suffocated by her in death. That horrible black sludge pouring out of her mouth plays over and over in my head, and I wonder if you’re next. Or Anja. Or Nova. Or Kevin, or Ruth, or anyone I know or care about. How many more will I drag into death?” By the end of her rant, her voice has risen into a wounded shout.

“Ashley!” I cut her off. “We all chose to do this! You think I’m not worried about you, too? That’s why I want to go with you! I can’t do nothing while you all thrust yourselves into danger. I want to be there to make sure we all return home safely. Which will only happen if we work together and trust each other.”

Ashley doesn’t respond. I hear her sniffling. I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her from behind. “For the last time, Ashley… you don’t have to do this alone. ”

She turns towards me and hugs me back. She’s fully broken down into tears. She hugs me tightly, as if she never, ever wants to let me go. “I’m sorry, Zoe,” she says.

“I forgive you, Ashley,” I tell her gently. We hold each other tightly until Ashley regains her composure, and then we both return to the party.

As we planned, Anja drops me off back at my place. I feel pretty weird tonight. I dunno, since that conversation with Lily I’ve been thinking about a lot of fucked up stuff.

Looks like Dad just got home. He’s laid out on the sofa, looking exhausted and happy to be home. Kat is on the floor, sorting through a small selection of presents and comparing them by size.

“Ah, good timing,” Dad says. “I just got home. Let me rest a little and get some dinner, then you can open your presents. You eat already?”

“Yeah, I ate something at Lily’s,” I say.

“Ah, good,” he says. “Just give me a minute, please.”

“Hey, Dad?” I say.

“What is it, Nova?”

“Okay, this is weird, but. I just wanted to say. Thanks for being our dad. And thanks for working so hard to get us food and shelter and all of that stuff. It’s just, you know, some parents, they don’t really even give a shit about their kids, and uh, you just, you bust your ass every day for us, and you never… you know, take any shortcuts, or… well, anyway. Thanks.”

Dad laughs. “Of course, kid.” He pushes himself up from the couch with a huge grunt, and gives me a hug. “I’d do anything for you kids. You know that.”

“Oh, is Nova getting emotional over here?” Kat asks, coming over to us.

“This goes for both of you,” he said, taking one of us in each arm. “Work hard in school. If you ever have kids one day, you don’t wanna be slinking home late on Christmas Day.”

“Nova’s gonna have to work real hard in advanced algebra ,” Kat says tauntingly. “Isn’t that right, nerd?”

“It’s okay, Dad,” I tell him. “I’m thankful for you. I really am. You didn’t even have to get me anything. Although yeah I’ll be pretty pumped if I get a WiiU and the Smash game, but I’m not really expecting it.”

“Well, you’ll just have to see,” he tells me, smiling.

I back away from him. “No, you didn’t!”

“Your girlfriend’s family reached out to me, actually,” he explains. “We met halfway on it.”

I can’t help myself. I just burst into tears then. I’m such a wreck that Kat even abstains from making fun of me for the night. Honestly, best Christmas ever. By the time I went to bed, I had forgotten all about the awful apartment shit and just slept through the night feeling warm and fuzzy all over.