I came awake in the middle of the night, my bladder had a message for me and I was wise enough to pay heed. When I returned from visiting my friendly neighborhood tree I stopped and looked at my bed before I climbed back in. Michelle was still comfortably asleep there, snuggled in deep against the spring night cold.

She was my close friend and I was very fond of her.

She was my lover and I enjoyed sharing that with her.

But she wasn’t my love and that broke my heart in a small yet very depressing way.

We didn’t fantasize about children or our future together, we discussed logistics and plans.

We had great sex and kept each other warm, but we really didn’t cuddle and whisper sweet nothings.

I climbed back into the warmth of bed and considered all of that until sleep swept me away again.