I was now about to reach a new low in my illustrious lowlife existence. I was about to sell people on the Auction Block. Now to give the devil his due, I also intended to purchase them and free them in Rulo. But still, here I was selling people. I was simply confident that I had a bigger wallet than any person here. The bottom line was, I didn’t have time to interview them and I could actually be purchasing trouble. A lot was riding on my assumption that most of these slaves were decent people. No doubt, the ten percent rule applied, so I was sure that there was trouble in this entire undertaking.

The other thing I had to worry about was how to store these folks until we could hit the road. They needed to be under guard until we got them to settle down. And they needed shelter and food. I decided to go with my gut, but I needed to get the auction and purchases done also. I talked to the bank manager before I took to the block. I told him I might need to deposit more gold Monday and to hold everything in escrow until I got there that morning.

Then I took to the stage to warm up. Well the crowd had grown until it looked like almost 500 people had shown up. Apparently it was entertainment - I was the only show in town. There was no way they all would hear me. I also wouldn’t be able to pick-out bidders. That meant I needed to do something, quick. I turned to look for help and Timmons was there with a large tin megaphone in his hands. It looked like it weighed thirty pounds and when I hefted it, I realized that it probably did.

Timmons and Jeb saw the problem, asked me to heft it, took a quick measurement, and then they were off again. I decided to get the crowd organized and then go warm up back behind the stage. The large, and growing, crowd had me a little off kilter. Where was Esther when I needed someone to charm them?

I gave the phone a try.

“Howdy there, folks!” I projected through the tin cone and I’ll be damned if it didn’t boom out the other end. But it was heavy.

“Howdy!” They hollered back, which caught me completely off guard.

“Well, folks, this is a surprise. There are a lot more of you now including a bunch of ladies, I’m sorry but the tea kettles have all already been sold.” This brought a chuckle from the crowd.

“Can those of you at the very back hear me? If you can, please wave your arm.” The back of the crowd folks gave a wave and I was suitably surprised.

“Now folks, I’m going to need all of the bidders up here at the front so we can see them. We’ll do this at every lot change, but for this first set of lots we are selling ‘yard birds,’ chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys. So any person who intends to bid on ‘yard birds,’ come up to the front so I can see you.”

“Please folks, we need a path up the middle here for people to walk. So if you are on this side of me,” I waved my right hand, “Please take three steps to your left and you folks on the other side, please do the same to your right.” It had taken me a minute to get my mind sorted on which way they needed to go and a couple of guys directly in front of me just stood there looking confused. So I said, “If you are standing in front of me and are confused just take three steps to your left. That’s right sir, either left will do. We just need a walk path.” The crowd chuckled again. The lost folk moved all except one and eventually someone came out and helped him. 'Wow! Just fucking wow!' I thought.

“Folks, while you’re getting organized, I’m going to head back here and warm up. We’ll start the bidding in ten minutes, give or take.” With that, I put the megaphone down and walked off behind the dock. Byrne was there with his wife. She had brought me a glass of warm saline water flavored with lemon to gargle with and loosen up my voice. She told me it was something she had learned in singing lessons as a young lady.

I smoked a quick cigarette first and then gargled multiple times with the lemon-saline. It was time to see if it helped. I started slow and quiet.

“Weeelll, thank you lady, thank you ma’am, it no longer feels like a rusty can. I’d love to have some more aaat breeeaak, I’ll do anything whatever it takes, to get to the end of this surprising daaayyy.” I chanted out and then coughed.

She clapped in delight and had a bright blush on her face, “I’ll be back with more in an hour, maybe even a taste of John’s fine bourbon!”

She was excited and happy and I just ran one more practice and included some numbers this time, the rhythm quickly jumped back out of my brain and, after a quick leak behind a tree, I was ready to go. I checked my clothes and hair then headed back out front.

The good news was that the fellas had installed a log section with a V cut it that top that held the megaphone almost perfectly, I really couldn’t wait to hear this story tonight over beers. There would be beers tonight and lots of it. I stepped up to the megaphone.

“Well folks welcome to the auction, this morning we sold off all the home items and yard tools. What we have from this point is livestock, slaves and property. Now apparently some of that property includes boats this time, but we also have wagons and properties. All property will be sold on site at each and that will start on Monday. There is a list posted.” I droned all of this out not really interested in it yet myself but it was time to start entertaining.

“Weeell remember folks we have some rules know them or you’ll be very sooorrrY!” I called out with enthusiasm and the crowd suddenly erupted in applause. Wow, talk about starved for entertainment.

I settled down for a moment and said “Folks, now the bidding rules are posted over at the payment desk. Please know the rules before you bid. Failure to pay will result in many bad things happening to you, including your cows giving sour milk, your birds laying rotten eggs, and your well running dry. More importantly, the Judge will be meeting with you in front of everyone.”

Laughter erupted at that point which really surprised me, definitely starved for affection. This might be fun, but it would be exhausting. I took a deep breath to relax and moved on.

“I’d like to introduce myself folks, my name is Zachariah Narrator and I’m down visiting from the village of Rulo. You can call me Mr. Narrator.” I stepped clear of the megaphone and waved, they all waved back and shouted. “Howdy, Mr. Narrator!”

“Alrighty there, folks. I hear we have a few ‘God Talkers’ with us this afternoon, please raise your hand if you’re a ‘Man of the cloth’.” I waited a moment and said “Fellas, if one of you could come and bless this dear crowd so that they make wise financial decisions on this day.” That brought general laughter from the crowd, but one of the men of the cloth walked up onto the block and stood next to me. It was a father of the Catholic sort.

“Now, Father,” I reminded him, “tomorrow is your big day. Please keep our blessing short this very hot and sunny day,” which made the crowd laugh again. He was a young priest and gave me a big grin before he stepped up and gave his blessing. He moved away, I stepped back up. It was time for the show.

“Alll Rrrrrrriiiiiight now folks here we go!” I called out loud and clear rolling the R as hard as I could.

“Yay!” The cheer went up.

“Bring ‘em out boooys, make it quick if you wooould! We have Lot 100 here folks, two dozen mixed chicken.” Four men brought two wooden cages each with a dozen birds and stacked them in front of me. I waited as they moved to the side and then took a deep breath and started.