《Girls and Monsters》Chapter 30

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The cook apologized for not making enough food. She had not expected the additional company, she explained. Brand told her it was fine. No one ate much anyway. Brand drank cup after cup of wine but had no appetite for the food.

After dinner, Seri stood up.

“Gretchen isn’t feeling well. She will be unable to join you in your private room tonight.”

Brand blinked. “You know the rules.”

“Yes. One girl follows you to your room after dinner. Gretchen has a cold, so if you are going to talk to anyone, it is going to be me.”

Seri glared at him. She was standing and he was slumped in his chair. Brand didn’t like that. He lurched to his feet.

“Gretchen,” he said, “are you sick?”

“Yes,” she said, staring down at her plate.

She was shivering and pale. He’d assumed she was afraid. And maybe she was. But she’d also been sniffling a lot. Either way, it wasn’t as if he’d planned to have a long and stimulating conversation with her.

“Fine,” he said. “Seri, take Gretchen upstairs and make sure she has everything she needs. Once she’s all tucked in, come back down and join me in my room. Not my bedroom, my—you know.”

God, he’d drunk too much.

Seri took Gretchen by the hand and led her away.

In his private room, Brand brewed the strongest tea he had. He needed to sober up when Seri arrived. If she arrived. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to show up. His stomach felt hot and wriggling, as if all his intestines had come alive. His head pounded. Maybe he was catching a cold. Maybe it was going around.

He sank into his chair.

How long should he wait for Seri? And what would he do if she didn’t come? Not mention it and pretend everything was normal. Brand sighed. But if he did, it would set a bad example to Gretchen. He’d have to confront her.

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What would he do, if Seri went back to being the stubborn Seri he knew in those early days, if she decided to defy him on every little thing? Last time, it took starvation and the persuasion of the other girls to get her to sit with him at dinner. He didn’t have the other girls, and he couldn’t stop feeding her. And was it worth all that fighting, just to sit in uncomfortable silence? Maybe he could change the rules, throw her off. Give her no rules and dare her to defy him then.

No, that was a stupid idea.

Right now, all his ideas were stupid. He rubbed his face. What was wrong with him?

His tea kettle whistled. Brand took it off the flame and filled his tea pot. When he turned to bring it to the table, he jumped. Seri stood in the door frame.

“You’re here,” he said.

“You told me to come back.”

“I didn’t think you’d—” He stopped. The truth spell was still in effect. “Yes, I did tell you. Come in.”

Seri took a step inside. She didn’t sit, though, but stood by the chair with her arms crossed.

“How long do you plan to keep doing this?” she asked.

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You know why I’m angry.”

“Yes.” Brand poured himself a wobbly cup of tea. “But you shouldn’t be surprised. This is what I do. This is… I am…”

He overpoured and burned his hand. He winced and put it down.

“You know the kind of man that I am, Seri. This is the life I’ve chosen.”

“You could have something better than this.”

“I don’t want—” any better. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. “—to change,” he finished, at last. “Though I have changed my mind about one thing. I don’t want you in the room, Seri. Leave.”

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“You don’t want to deal with the truth?”

“I’m not feeling well. Maybe I caught Gretchen’s cold. Or drank too much.”

“You did drink too much.”

“Yes. And it’s lowered my inhibitions. I don’t think you want to be alone with me tonight. Not with… in my head… my thoughts… I might regret…”

Damn, he couldn’t even sound sinister. Brand blinked and rubbed his eyes.

“Leave me alone,” he concluded lamely.

“Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow,” Seri said.

“I don’t have anything else to say on this matter.”

“I do.”

“I don’t—” care what you have to say. “I don’t—” want to talk to you. “Talk all you want, I’m not—” going to listen. “Go away, Seri!” he yelled.

Seri shook her head and walked out.

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