Trekking through the expansive woodlands, it reminds me of my time when I lived on a frontier village out in the middle of nowhere. I have no clue where I'm going, as I ditched the road. I also had no map or any camping equipment for that matter.

All I really got is my trusty machete, a standard issue crossbow, and about five to ten iron bolts to my name. I would say being grossly underprepared is an overstatement for my level of readiness, considering how dangerous it is outside the city walls. But hey, that's alright, because I still got my buddy, Lily… Who is kawing at some midgets?

Yeah, I'm not too sure what's happening. Maybe I can ask these fellows for some directions.

"Jagaga!"

The midget points a rusty spear at me while shouting some gibberish. I guess I was too optimistic to expect intelligent races to be out here. The midget's most certainly a monster. I don't want to waste my few bolts, so I rush forward and grab its spear, before jamming my machete in its neck.

One of his comrades — I presume — tries to stab me in the back, but a swift kick sends it straight against a tree.

*Crack!*

Oof, did some bones break? Are they that squishy?

"GWAGAJAJA!" It howls, its shriek piercing deep into the woodlands.

My lord, these things are loud! Slitting its throat I restore peace back to the forest.

Inspecting these things again, I believe they were called gobins, golins? I've seen these guys before, but I'm not too sure of their name, so I'll just dub them green midgets.

These green midgets, to my understanding, are some kind of pack creature, meaning that there will be more of them. And a peculiar behavioural trait of theirs is to hoard and gather random metals and other loot from the people they kill. Meaning that they might have money!

And guess what I don't have at all. Money!

So that settles it, we're s̶t̶e̶a̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ requisitioning all of the green midget's stolen possessions.

Looking around the forest floor, it isn't hard to find their tracks in the autumn earth. They do little to hide their tracks and the season doesn't help them.

*Grr*

My stomach growls.

Sigh, maybe I can also find some food at their nest. It seems I hadn't eaten for just about over a day now.

Thankfully, it doesn't take long to track and locate the midget nest. They seem to camp out in a cave dwelling of some sort, and stationed outside are a couple midgets with makeshift weapons and oversized armour.

It looks like these midgets aren't that smart if they're using equipment that doesn't even suit them. I guess they didn't trade their height for any kind of intelligence bonus.

"Kakaw,"

Lily kaws at me, she wants to take out the two outside, while I block the cave entrance. Fair plan, go ahead.

Acknowledging her plan, she flies straight ahead, instantly beheading one of them with a swipe of her left wing. Following up, she claws at the other's throat, ripping out it's thyroid. Damn, for a small bird, she's brutal I muse. Of course, I wasn't idle either, pressing up against the wall beside the entrance, I wait for the response inside.

And after a second, they come rushing out mad, like a ballistic gaggle of geese. I do a fine job slashing their throats and dicing them up but it's a real pain. Because they're only around a meter tall, which means I have to be in a sort of crouched position to attack them and even then I still have to aim lower than I would if I were legitimately doing anything else.

Is this their grand scheme? Be so short that they can hopefully annoy the life out of their attackers?

Well, if it is, it's pathetic and has already failed miserably. Killing about ten of them, the rest refuse to charge forward.

Come on, if all of you charge I'm sure you'll have a chance. Oh, are the corpses blocking the way? Don't worry, I'll help you out.

Kicking the corpses aside, I look back inside the cave entrance to see that they have retreated further in.

Sigh, of course they would. I mean, why wouldn't they?

Well, there's no other path than forward, so here we go! Entering the cave, I have Lily perch on my shoulder, so she can assist me if needed.

I walk through the entrance and into the threshold of the cave, and immediately the stench of piss and crap as well as a strange metallic smell fills my nostrils. Damn, this place reeked! Living in a cesspit like this would surely make one sick. Wait, is that why they're green?

Are they mouldy midgets? Is the mould perhaps stunting their growth? Yeah, nah, I can't be asked to research this. I ain't some kind of midget obsessed freak in plate armour.

Pulling up cloth over my face, it does virtually nothing to block out the smell, but it's better than nothing I guess. Traipsing down to an intersection at the cave, I spot a shabby tripwire made of hemp presumably. As is the case, it is rather thick and easily visible. And just around the corner, a contingent of midgets are just standing there. Waiting. Did they think they were sneaky or something? I know it's dark, but I can still see you.

Creeping quietly, I sneak up on the midgets, stepping over the tripwire, catching them by surprise. As I slash them, and open up fatal wounds one after another, from across the tunnel, a spear is thrown at me. Though, it's wonky and doesn't fly well, allowing me to catch it.

Seriously, these guys. They're trying too hard to mimic human society. Like, you can't use a spear, it is like, three times your height. You're better off chucking rocks mate.

Going deeper into the cave, they play the same tricks repeatedly. And each time, I just hack at them again and again.

And finally, I seem to have reached the innermost room of this stupid cave network. And this is undoubtedly their treasure room, I see piles of random equipment and weapons just laying about. And also something else that surprises me. Humans. Yup, and despite what I thought at first, they aren't corpses.

They're all in the nude, and their bodies are covered in bruises and gashes. There isn't a single part of their body that doesn't have some kind of wounding.

What the hell? What's the purpose of this? However, the purpose was as clear as day. Pleasure. The pungent odour of bodily fluids and other venereal crap is even worse than the accurst stench that plagues the damn place.

I'm starting to feel this venture wasn't worth it.

The rest of the midgets are gathered here but the midgets aren't the only ones, there are also taller midgets. Well, they aren't really midgets considering they're roughly my height, maybe a bit taller.

The taller ones, which I'll call green giants, turn to me, looking disappointed that their playtime is over. There's a total of four of them, and each of them is decked with proper equipment that will actually be of use to them. They gather around, licking their lips as they eye me.

*Fwip*

I score a headshot, right through the eye. Instant death.

*Thud*

The corpse falls to the ground. I wait for their reaction.

Though, contrary to my expectation instead of cowering away, the midgets rush toward me madly seemingly at the command of the other giants.

Perhaps they have a height orientated social hierarchy.

*Swish* *Swish*

"GRARArra!"

Before they could reach us, Lily unleashes a storm of essence blades, draining her essence. It sweeps across, killing a majority of the midgets, but also mostly hitting duds. Giving a light chirp, she puffs out her chest in pride.

What the hell are you proud about?

You drained your essence for no reason. It could've been used for a much more productive cause you sped. Y'know, like the leftover giants, who seem to have some kind of constitutional difference over the others. You could've killed those guys but no.

Now I'll have to face them, and I'm not too sure I can beat them all without taking a beating as well.

Though I'm wary of how they'll fight me, they too, for a lack of a better strategy, just rush forward, much to my relief. Slinking back, I sink a bit of wind essence into my bolt, as I fire it at another one.

*Fwip*

Another instant kill.

Putting aside my crossbow, I switch to my machete, as I pull the fight into the narrow tunnel ways turning it into a one on one. Fighting them up and close, I can see they're nothing to scoff at.

"GRArAARrA!"

Each swing of their rusted swords brings about a torrent of wind. Smashing stone and rending bone. If I tried to intercept that, I'd probably collapse. However, it's slow and dull. Abusing the giant's larger frame and telegraphed attacks, I shove my machete down its throat, a fountain of blood spewing out.

Sigh, even their blood smells like actual crap.

The next one seeing its comrade fall falters for a moment. But just like the first, it attacks in the same manner.

Its desperate attempts to strike me rendered futile.

It screams a crescendo that completely overshadows the midgets.

At this point, I regret everything. Stepping foot in this septic tank was probably the worst decision of my life up to date.

I dully step over two oversized corpses, as I enter back into the treasure room. Immediately, I distinctly notice some midgets laying on the ground.

Playing possum, eh?

Though they smeared themselves with a bit of blood, it's obvious that they're deadn't as the essence blades would've cut them to ribbons otherwise. Plus, I notice some of them blinking.

Does everyone really think I'm that stupid?