Mo-Mo couldn’t hold back a squeak of distress. “Moots!”

“Wait, look.” Shh gestured with his head towards the robed Player. “They’re arguing.”

True enough, Robes seemed taken aback by Leather’s decision to draw steel. “Whoa, whoa! Dude, the fuck?!”

“What? This isn’t a Sanctuary, bro, and it isn’t even real.” Leathers delicately flicked his knife, slicing a button away from Moots’ pajamas. “Didn’t know you were one of those Digital Justice Warriors, you wimp.”

“Dude it’s not about that. He’s a fuckin’ Quest Giver. Killing him gets you flagged.”

“So?” Shwip. Another button went flying. “The free trial’s over anyway, bro. We’ll just make new accounts.” Shwip. “Like you were going to stick with that avatar anyway. You don’t have the balls to stay as a No One, you fuckin’ pervert.”

Robes balked. “I don’t, what do you–”

Shwip. “We both know that this time tomorrow you’ll have a paid account and be some pigtailed loli dwarf chick. All slutting it up with a bunch of other gross real-world fatsos. So’s how ‘bout you get off my dick about the Karma on your goddamn throwaway character?”

“You fucking idiot; you didn’t read any of the shit I told you to, did you?” Robes had turned bright red at this point. “The system keeps your Karma DNA coded, so you can’t just make another account, okay? You think you can just crack out another email address or something and fool Mundi Co? This level of security is bleeding edge!”

Leathers scowled. “I knew that.”

“Oh really? That’s great, dude. Then unless you’re a fucking genetic engineer on the days you’re not a fucking dishwasher, let’s just port out of this dump. Okay? There’s still time to throw all this gold that’s about to be useless on drinks and dances.”

“...Nah.” Leathers sunk his knee into Moots’ gut, the old monster collapsing to the ground with a quiet groan. “Being a Red Player’s more fun anyway.”

“Shit!” Robes stumbled backwards as something crimson and threatening began to flicker over the two Players’ heads, waving his arms frantically in a futile attempt to dispel the one looming over him. “I’m not involved with this! It’s all him! Fuck you, dude! Fuck yooooouuuu~!”

“Tsk, whatever.” Leathers flipped Robes off as he vanished in a spiral of sparkling energy, sheathing his knife. “Fuckin’ pussy.”

For a moment, Shh allowed himself to think that would be it. Now the other Player would vanish too, and they’d all be fine. Right?

Leathers took a theatrical step over the prone body of Moots, whistling off key as he unslung the bow from around his back. “So you suck at quests, huh? How’re you at dancing?”

Moots slowly rose to his feet, though what he possibly could have intended to say, Shh had no idea. The Player had whirled around before the old monster had even opened his mouth, an arrow already notched and drawn as the flickering form above his head coalesced into an oval.

“Well? Dance!”

The arrow, so much like the countless arrows that had ended the lives of countless mongrels, thudded into the ground as Moots yelped and jumped away. Leathers laughed as he fired another arrow, offering his victim mocking encouragement as he flailed out of the way again.

The third shot went high, though, clipping the old monster in the shoulder when he attempted to dodge the arrow he assumed was coming for his feet. Moots was spun completely around from the force of the hit, a dark stain spreading down his arm as the crimson orb opened into a giant eye and swiveled down to glare at Leathers.

The Player made a kissy face at the disapproving eldritch abomination. “Fuck off; like I give a shit about getting a demerit.” He clutched his hands in faux remorse. “Oh no, I won’t be able to go get more stupid fantasy hamburgers in that tourist trap Magica City! Oh gosh~!” Another arrow was in his hands. “I follow the fucking rules in my real life, alright? I can do whatever I want here.”

The one-sided argument between Leathers and the reproachful eye was completely missed by Shh. Because when Moots had spun around, clutching at his wound, his eyes caught the mongrel’s deep within the brush.

Moots was a monster. Shh didn’t feel great thinking that, but it was true. He was the same kind as the outpost monsters that had killed his kind for generations. And even if Shh and Gert and Mo-Mo had benefited incredibly from him, it wasn’t as if it’d been a one sided arrangement, right? He’d gotten a bunch of fruit out of the deal.

Leathers began to draw the arrow taut, now aiming for center mass. “I can do whatever I want to whoever I want.”

Did all four of them have to die, rather than only one? How did that make sense? Shh simply could not think of a single rational reason to throw away their lives failing to save one of their ancestral enemies. Not a single one.

Then Moots leaned in, his lips moving in a silent plea. “Run”

The shot went wild as Leathers stumbled back in shock, so surprised by the burst of movement from the brush that he snapped his own nose with his bowstring. The Player swore poetically, dropping his bow and dancing in pain as he clutched at his face.

The Crimson Eye, for its part, somehow managed to project amusement.

Leathers snatched his knife back out of its sheath, his nose beet red and bleeding as he whirled around to face whoever was foolish enough to interrupt his cruel fun. Whatever he’d been expecting, it was not three child-sized fluffballs. “....the fuck?”

Gert growled in sheer menace as she hefted her big stick and pointy rock, Mo-Mo snatching up Moots’s pot as Shh brandished a pair of particularly ripe ploms. Then as one, they screamed out a battle cry in perfect monster talk. “YOU BUTT!”

“No seriously.” He lowered his knife in unvarnished confusion. “The fuck.”

The first plom struck Leathers in the chest, neither the throw nor the projectile strong enough to cause any damage. But it exploded in a shower of goopy slop all the same, the Player hissing in disgust as his entire front was splattered. His outrage melted into a choking gurgle as the second fruit smashed into his forehead, filling his mouth and eyes with sticky, stringy mess as he dropped his knife and clutched at his befouled face.

Gert was on him a moment later, looking more like a wolf than any mongrel had any right to as she loped forward with stick at the ready. If the strength of her first blow surprised Leathers, doubling him over as it crashed into his midsection, her second proved it was no fluke, an overhead swing to the back of the neck sending him down to his knees.

Leathers scrambled for his knife, screaming and swearing as Gert brought her big stick and pointy rock down across his back over and over again. No sooner were his fingers brushing against the weapon than Mo-Mo cracked his hand with the pot, the little female kicking the blade away as the Player clutched at his crushed digits

Shh, for his part, struggled with the dropped bow and quiver. Those things were not made with paws in mind.

“YOU LITTLE FUCKS!” Leathers lashed out blindly, a wayward blow sending Mo-Mo sprawling. “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL BURN THIS WHOLE ZONE TO THE GROUND!”

Gert snarled back at him in challenge, lashing out with her stick and pointy rock to drive the enraged Player away from Mo-Mo. She managed to push her much larger foe all the way to the bad-smelling system of pots behind the camp’s tent before Leathers hunched over and shouldered through one of her swings, flattening Gert by simply ramming into her side-first.

Leathers took a moment to angrily wipe the rest of the gunk from his eyes, booting Gert’s big stick and pointy rock out of her grasp as he ranted and raved. “Oh you fucks. You trash. I’m gonna kill you so slow that–”

He blinked as something whipped past his face, his vitriol momentarily forgotten. “...what was that.”

whoosh

“...oh my god.” He stared wide eyed at Shh, the mongrel fumbling another arrow into the Player’s pilfered bow. “Fuckin’...seriously?!”

whoosh

Leathers burst into manic laughter, spit flying from his frog mouth as another shot went wide. “Oh my fuck; that’s so pathetic that it’s adorable. The lil’ guys an archer, huh? He’s gonna shoot a big bow and awwow like he’s a real person, yeah? Go on, then!” The Player took two big steps back, throwing his arms wide to present as large a target as possible. “Try it!”

whoosh

“Bwahaha~! That’s so–”

The whistling hiss and sudden whiff of ethanol was Leather’s first sign he’d missed something. The Player turned his head, raising his eyebrows as he unthinkingly took a step towards the arrow embedded within the now violently rattling system of pots directly beside him. “Uh, wait–”

And then the still exploded, engulfing Leathers in a ball of fire.

Shh and Moots dragged Gert and Mo-Mo away from the flames as quickly as possible, the two females coughing and hurt but still very much alive. Moots couldn’t decide if his eyes needed to be on the ruins of his camp, or his furry saviors, or on his own wounds, and as a result seemed to be in the middle of a severe spasm. “Is, is y’all pups alright?!”

“Al-right..” Shh garbled back, slipping underneath Gert’s arm to steady her on her feet. “Ded? Is ded?”

“Uh..” Moots took a moment to stare at the smoldering calamity. “I’m pretty sure that–”

“BWARGH!” The three mongrels and Moots all screamed in unison, jumping back as the charred and still actively on-fire form of Leathers burst up from the wreckage. “Not enough! Not enough! You can’t kill me, I’m TOO–”

>FREE TRIAL ENDED<

“No! Fuck, NO! I just, I gotta–!” Leathers’ too-small eyes bulged from his half-melted face, moving as if his weight had quadrupled. “Can’t lose!” His arms drooped to his side, the Player shaking his shoulders in a desperate attempt to regain bodily control. “NO!”

The rest of his body limp and unresponsive, Leathers gathered his final ounce of strength to crane his neck and glare at Shh with murderous hatred. “I’ll be back, and I’llllllll…….”

He trailed off on that syllable, his face going slack as his jaw slowly dropped. Shh stared in morbid fascination as the light faded from Leathers’ eyes, their formerly implacable foe now simply slouching there harmlessly. It didn’t seem like he was dead, just…empty.

The thought should have made Shh deeply uncomfortable. But he had no time for anytime more complicated than relief right now. They had just survived a Player.

No, they had just beaten a Player.

Shh stared at the hollow vessel for a moment, then glanced up at the blood red eye still floating above its head. The hideous orb gazed down at the mongrel with something almost like fascination, and then in what was only the fourth or fifth most unlikely thing to happen that day gave a little bow and vanished.

It might have been Shh who started to laugh first, or perhaps Gert. But soon all three battered mongrels were yowling with pure jubilation, grabbing each other’s paws and jumping in an exultant circle. Mo-Mo grabbed Moots’ bony hand with her paw, and before the old monster knew what was happening he too was laughing and dancing, all four citizens of the zone celebrating their entirely improbable survival.

When they finally let go the three mongrels collapsed back onto the ground in a giggling pile, Moots looking down at them in something like wonder. “Y’all saved me. I don’t…why?”

Mo-Mo pushed herself up to her feet, extending a paw towards the much bigger monster as she carefully enunciated in excellent monster speak. “Moots friend!”

Moots balked at that, staring down at Mo-Mo’s little paw with an unreadable expression. But then Shh was sticking out his paw as well, and Gert too, and the old monster couldn’t hold back a loud sniffle.

“Yeah, Moots friend.” He pressed all three paws between his hands, sniffling back tears and pumping the mongrels’ arms in a firm shake. “Moots’s yer friend, gul danggit, and yer Moots’ friend too. That’s fer damn sure!”

>dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding<

“Eh?” The cacophony of system alerts was what first drew Moots’ attention back towards the ruins of his camp. It seemed the fire engulfing the still very-much aflame Leathers had finally finished the job, a tidal wave of Experience points flooding out of the empty husk and into the mongrels.

“Well ain’t that a–Eh?!” Moots pulled his arm back in shock as Shh and Gert and Mo-Mo erupted with light, the old monsters staggered backward to fall on his bottom as the three mongrels faded into three obscured, featureless shapes.

And then they began to change.