Joseph III

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“…You’re sure about this?” Joseph asked, placing his head in his hands. “You’re absolutely certain that this is happening?”

Hsekiu nodded solemnly, the taller man’s face twisted into a grimace. “I’m afraid so, Pharaoh. Trust me, I would give anything for it to be not, but unfortunately the world doesn’t work that way.”

The new king took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm. “…Fuck,” He hissed through clenched teeth. “We are so boned.”

“I don’t understand the slang, but I agree with the sentiment.”

“Right,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “Right. We’ll have to tell the rest of the elders about this at some point, won’t we?”

“If you mean during today’s war meeting, then yes, that would be preferable.”

“…Could we just not, and say we did?”

“Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, my Pharaoh.”

“I know that!” he bit out, before sighing and rubbing his eyes. “It’s just… fuck. Why do I have to be the one to deal with this shit?”

“Because the gods chose you, Great Pharaoh,” Hsekiu told him, bowing low. “And the gods always know what they are doing, even if we mere mortals can not always fathom their intentions. I’m certain they knew what they were doing when they chose you.”

‘And I’m certain I was only chosen because my name got picked out of a hat,’ Joseph grumbled to himself, before sighing again. “Well, let’s get this over with. It’ll be like pulling off a band aid! Hopefully, at least.”

With that the two of them left his house, out into the village proper. They passed by people going about their days, who stopped to bow to their king as he passed. Joseph would then turn and smile at them, before starting up a conversation on whatever he could think of. ‘How was your day? Are you doing alright? What do you like to do for fun?’ The exchanges would then grow longer, turning into longwinded conversations about anything and everything, lasting until Hsekiu coughed as if to remind him that they had somewhere to be, please stop wasting time talking with everyone you can find.

‘No, I’m not dragging my feet, shut up! Getting to know my subjects is important Kingly business! And stop looking so impatient, Hsekiu, I’ll get there eventually!’

Hsekiu gave him a look, showing that he knew exactly what he was doing. With a tilt of his head, he motioned urgently to the meeting house. He was starting to look genuinely annoyed.

Joseph sighed, resigning himself to his fate. He took a calming breath, before plastering a fake smile on his face. With that, he turned and began actually making his way to the meeting house.

The meeting house was a new building, built by his people with their now copious free time. It was crammed between two other houses along the wall, on the opposite side from the river. Made of the same mudstone bricks that the rest of the village was made out of, the only thing that distinguished it from the rest of the buildings was the symbol painted above the doorframe—a red setting sun, similar to the painting in his own home.

It was also just a bit too small for everyone to fit into.

Hey, sometimes you’ve just got to make do with what you have.

Entering the meeting house, he glanced around quickly, taking stock of everyone. As usual, there was barely enough space for the leaders of the village—mostly elders and religious leaders—to fit. Along the left side of the room was his own elders—Masika, Omari, and Chisisi. Along the right were the people who had come from Kaiden’s village—Ife, Sadiki, Dalila, and Khufu, with Kaiden leaning against a corner in the back. In between everyone was a simple table made out of whatever remaining wood they had left in stock. With Hsekiu behind him, that would make ten people crammed into a room with enough space for maybe five, max.

Admittedly, there wasn’t much of a reason to have this meeting indoors—they were talking outdoors just fine a couple days ago—but having a dedicated meeting space made him feel like an actual professional, and not someone just throwing everything together on the fly. (Which he was).

“Hello all, and thank you for coming to today’s war council!” Joseph told to the gathered people, plastering a fake smile across his face. They were not going to like these recent developments. “How are you all doing today?”

“I’d be better if I could get out of this damn building faster,” Khufu grumbled, the massive man looking awkward squished between the two comparatively smaller people next to him. “What was taking you so long?”

“I still don’t understand why we have to meet here of all places,” Sadiki groused, the ancient man scowling at everyone. “Surely we could just continue meeting outside like we’ve been doing for, oh I don’t know, the last two weeks.”

“Hey! Don’t disrespect the Great Pharaoh!” Masika shouted angrily, the priestess jumping to her feet in his defense. “He was appointed to us by the gods—”

“Yes yes, as you’ve said many times, Masika,” Joseph nodded to her, gently pushing her back into her seat. “As for why we are meeting here, we are preparing for a war, and I would like to avoid having to worry about spies overhearing us.”

After he said that, everyone suddenly tensed, eyes darting between each other suspiciously. If it was possible in the crammed confines of the meeting room, he was sure they’d be trying to move away from each other. As it was, they just sort of leaned away from whichever person they were scrutinizing at currently, which caused them to lean into the person on their other side, making them turn to look at that person before repeating the action in the opposite direction.

It was the most amusing thing he’d seen all day.

“My Pharaoh,” Omari rumbled lowly, the once-heavyset man turning to look at him cautiously, “do you believe we were being spied on when we met out in the open? Are there spies running amuck in the village right now!?”

Considering that was just an excuse he made up on the spot to get everyone to stay in the war room… “Oh, no, I have no idea if there are actually any spies in the village. But better safe than sorry, no?” He chirped, smiling beatifically at them.

At once the tension dissipated, everyone turning to give him vaguely disappointed looks.

Hmph. Rude.

“Now what was I was saying? Ah, right. Today we will be going over updates on our current situation, considering both the ongoing war and intercity relations. Hsekiu, if you could start updating everyone!”

“Right,” the man nodded, stepping closer to the table. Joseph moved over slightly to give him room, accidently bumping his shoulder with Masika’s. (They really needed a bigger place for this). “Currently, our war with the foreign king Domenic is still a stalemate. The siege has so far lasted eleven consecutive days, with no sign of changing anytime soon.”

“Is there anything new to report?” Ife, an elderly woman from Kaiden’s village asked. “You’ve said the same thing for the past week—we all know what’s going on, you don’t have to keep repeating it.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Hsekiu frowned ominously. “Last night, our watchmen noticed a large army coming from the north—we believe them to be the force that attacked Ahmed, the king to our north. We believe they are coming to attack us as well.”

A tense silence followed that announcement

“Well, it could be worse,” Joseph chirped, his smile looking particularly fake now. “The two armies could be working together, after all! Perhaps we could play them off each other? The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the saying goes!”

“Or perhaps they will ally, and split the prize between each other,” Omari muttered, a heavy frown on his face. Always the pessimist, that one.

“…Let’s go over the rest of our reports now. After all, we can’t make a plan without knowing all our options, after all!” Joseph told Hsekiu with forced levity, his grin twitching wildly.

“…Right,” the taller man nodded with a pinched look on his face. “In other news, some rats managed to make it into the granary—we’ve lost about a fifth of our food stock.”

“How grand! Now we have more space for the next harvest!”

“Tensions are beginning to run high—yesterday, Amon accused Babu of trying to seduce his wife. They got into a fistfight that dragged in five other people before the soldiers managed to separate them. Two of the people were severely injured and require constant medical attention to keep them alive.”

“Wonderful! Tell me, Hsekiu, is there any good news?”

“Uh…” Hsekiu paused, visibly thinking hard. “Neferati, the wife of Amet, has recently given birth to a daughter.”

“Excellent! We’ll throw a party, double rations for everyone—it’ll be good for morale!”

“As you say, Pharaoh.”

“Double rations!?” Sadiki exploded, slamming his hands onto the table. “We just lost a part of our food supply, and now you want us to waste more food!?”

“Don’t disrespect the Great Pharaoh!” Masika shouted again, glaring at the old man. “He was appointed to us by the gods—”

“Then maybe the gods themselves are insane, because he certainly is!”

“Hey, hey!” Chisisi shouted back, her many necklaces and earrings swinging wildly as she gestured at Sadiki. “Disrespecting the Pharaoh is one thing, but disrespecting the gods is another entirely! Do you want the gods to curse us all!?”

“I can scarcely imagine how they could make our situation any worse!”

“Then you must have the imagination of a log! Things can always get worse!”

“Would you two shut up!” Ife barked, the old woman’s jowls shaking as she spoke. “I don’t care how utterly stupid the Pharaoh is being, angering the gods is a bad idea! So stop doing it before you get us all killed!”

“Don’t disrespect the Great Pharaoh!” Masika shouted once more, pointing her finger angrily at Ife. “He was appointed to us by—”

“Calm down, Masika,” Joseph sighed, placing a hand on her head to quiet her down. Then he turned to the rest of them. “I can understand your worries, and I share them with you. But our people are angry and scared—morale is plummeting every day. This may not be the best idea for the long run, but if we don’t address this now we’ll have more problems to deal with later as well.”

“Besides,” he continued, “while you all were shouting, a thought occurred to me.” With that he turned to Kaiden, who had remained quiet and out of the way during the meeting. “Tell me Kaiden,” he asked, “did Domenic, or any of his followers, actually ever see you? As in, could they recognize you as the leader of your village?”

The younger man jumped as everyone’s eyes turned to him. Stiffly, he stood up straight and turned to face Joseph. “…Nope,” he said quietly, before clearing his throat. “I mean, no, he didn’t. We left as soon as we heard of the army—I’ve never actually seen any of them in person. But I don’t think that would matter that much, right? I mean, I’m white—they’d obviously know that I’m not a local.”

“True, true,” Joseph nodded, his hand on Masika’s head accidently causing her to nod along with him. “But what if that’s the point? After all, anyone would recognize you as a ruler, but that doesn’t mean they’d know what village you ruled.”

Kaiden still looked confused, but Omari’s eyes widened as he realized what was going on. “You plan to make Kaiden pretend to be the new ruler attacking us,” he breathed. “You mean to trick Domenic!”

“Yep!” Joseph grinned, for real this time. “We can set up a fake meeting between the two, and once his guard is down, we strike!”

“Really?” Sadiki asked, sounding doubtful. “You really think Kaiden is capable of doing something so important? Are you really that foolish? The only thing he is good for is running away.”

Ouch. He saw Kaiden wince out of the corner of his eye. Running away from Domenic’s army may have saved his skin, but it apparently didn’t garner any respect from his own people.

“Don’t disrespect—” was all Masika was able to get out, before he tightened his grip on her head to make her stay quiet. Supporters were always nice, but sometimes they were a little too vocal.

“That’s enough, Masika,” he sighed. “Thank you for speaking up for me. It means a lot, really. But we need to discuss this calmly, without shouting at each other. Understand?” he asked, looking at everyone meaningfully as he said that. “These walls aren’t soundproof—I have no doubt other people have already heard half of what we’ve said here. There’s no need to demoralize them further by hearing their leaders argue amongst themselves like children.”

With everyone looking suitably chastised, he continued. “Now, Elder Sadiki, I actually have a lot of confidence in Kaiden for this mission. He already has everything he needs to succeed. He can do it, easily.”

He made sure to deliberately not look in the kid’s direction when he said that, projecting as much confidence as he could. But even so, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kaiden straighten up slightly at his words.

“Besides, the plan is simple,” he continued. “The big thing about Domenic is that his army follows him, not the state.” At their confused looks he elaborated, “I mean, they barely know him. They just listen to him because he was the guy the ‘gods’ put in charge. They aren’t fighting for their country, or even for themselves, but for their leader. So, if we can get rid of the leader, the army follows suit. Cut off the head, and the body dies.”

There were some more appraising looks after that, as people began nodding thoughtfully, coming around to his plan.

“And what if this fails?” Ife asked, the elderly woman looking doubtful still. “There are many ways for a plan to fail. Even if Kaiden could pull it off perfectly, there are still other things that could go wrong. What if Domenic decides to attack them over talking? What if the other ruler shows up? If this plan fails, what would you do?”

“Then…” Joseph hummed, narrowing his eyes. He didn’t want to have to say this, but… “If this plan fails, then I will turn myself over to Domenic, in exchange for the safety of my people.”

Exclamations of shock resounded throughout the room, with all of them looking at him in disbelief. But he wouldn’t budge, not on this.

That’s because he was lying through his teeth. He had no plans to do turn himself in, at least not until there was really no other option. He didn’t want to die, after all. However…

All around him, everyone stood straighter. Their muscles tensed and fire lit in their eyes. Kaiden especially, who looked at him in a mixture of horror, fear, and anger, and yet also looked more determined than he had ever seen him before.

People worked best under pressure—when they put everything they had into reaching their goal. When a prey animal had nowhere left to run, they turned their fangs on a predator. Now, it was all or nothing—in their minds this would be the last chance they had to win this war, and so they would give it their all.

When your back was to a wall, anything was possible.

Joseph smiled. Even if his words were fake, the reaction of these people was real—his heart began to beat harder, as everyone began debating among themselves, refining and improving the plan as much as they could. Working together, towards a common goal. All of this with just a few words from him.

Ah, so this is what it means to be king.

9,954 God-Kings Remaining