Party Treasure Chest:

Your party has looted 4 Good Health Crystals, 4 Good Stamina Crystals, 4 Good Mana Crystals, 8 Good Fire Bombs, 12 Good Food Rations, 4 Good Minor Dimensional Canteens of Crystal Water, 4 Basic Bedrolls, 1 Basic 50ft Rope, 1 Basic Roll of Ductape, 1 Basic Any Fire Anywhere Brazier Set, 4 Basic Rucksacks With Lots of Buckles and Pockets, 4 Basic Survival Knives, 1 Basic Bottle of Rum.

“Wooo!” Jay cheered.

“I’m ashamed to admit, but I didn’t think of some of these basics,” Frank muttered. “It wasn’t supposed to be a long job.”

“Woo! Woo!” Jay kept cheering.

“How is it fitting all of that in one… wait… it’s one of those bags of holding things, right? But in a treasure chest?” Dennis asked.

“You can store your old sword in it,” Mike informed. “Waste not.”

“Wooooooo!” Jay pumped the rum bottle up and down.

“In you go, old sword,” Dennis said, dropping the greatsword inside the treasure chest.

Your party stored a greatsword in the Living Room Treasure Chest. Collect your items at any Safe Zone treasure chest in the Toyreveler Dungeon or receive them in your home dimension after your dungeon crawl is completed successfully.

“Might as well do the same for some of the other non-essential items,” Frank suggested.

“Woo!”

“Can you stop?” Frank grouched at Jay.

Jay paused. “One more. Woo! Okay, it’s out of my system.”

“Hey, the snakes are done dissolving,” Dennis pointed out.

Monster Toy Snakes Loot (2):

Your party has looted 7 Basic Health Crystals, 4 Basic Stamina Crystals, 3 Basic Mana Crystals, 4 Venom Antidotes, 9 Attribute Crystals, 3 Hollowed Steel Fangs, 2 Basic Serpent Monster Cores, 17 Iron Multiverse Coins.

“What’s all the monster cores for?” Dennis asked.

“If we had a [Crafter] with us, Lilith or Macy would know,” Mike said. “Best we can do is collect all this stuff and bring it to them. Maybe they can use it for alchemical potions or improve our gear.”

“Or make better gear?” Frank asked.

“That’s what [Crafters] are for, depending on what they specialize in, of course.” Mike stroked his chin. “Maybe we could’ve given up on one [Fighter] for another [Crafter]. It does seem limiting to have only two.”

“If you are thinking of asking YoAnna to expand our roster, it won’t happen,” Frank said. “My superiors have all but begged on their knees for more openings. She’s stuck on only having twelve champions.”

“That’s fine. We can work with what we got,” Jay said. “Financer Macy and First Nerd Lil can do the job of a dozen, I bet.”

“What makes you so confident?” Frank asked.

“They’re motivated girls, from what I can gather. And they’re out in the dungeons fighting and grinding just like us. So they’ll be hauling in loot, too, and we can add to their pile and see what we get when they get creative.” Jay smiled wistfully. “I might’ve been a [Crafter] if [Freak] didn’t call to me.”

“My mind will be blown if they can make something better than Ogre Hunter,” Dennis admitted.

“Or better leathers, armor, or magic pajamas that give stellar AP,” Mike said cheerily. His mood dropped as he looked suspiciously at Frank. “We are keeping all of our loot, right?”

“Don’t even bother answering, Frank,” Jay cut in.

Frank arched an eyebrow.

“All of this belongs to the Multiverse Protectorate Pantheon first and foremost, you get me? In other words, if our champions ain’t using it, nobody’s using it without YoAnna’s say-so.”

“That’s surprisingly wise coming from you, Luckrun.”

“That’s cuz I’m getting my wise words out before I get a little buzzed and have a nap.”

“We have a dungeon to clear, first.”

Jay shook his head. “We need a few hours, man. Haven’t you noticed?”

Frank paused to look at the others. Their eyes were sunken. Mike was running on fumes. Dennis put on a good front, but he could probably fall on the spot and sleep there.

Jay huffed. “Four hours. All of us sleep it up some and then keep crawling to the finish from there.”

“Fine,” Frank grunted.

Your party has stored 6 Hollowed Steel Fangs, 4 Basic Serpent Monster Cores, 47 Iron Multiverse Coins in the Toyreveler Living Room Treasure Chest for safe storage.

“Who thinks they’re going to need more AP now?” Frank asked.

Dennis raised his hand hesitantly.

Frank narrowed his eyes. “More Strength?”

“No. More Resilience and some Poise. I got this new Skill. Pairs well with the old one. But I’ll be throwing myself into danger a lot.”

“He can have it all,” Mike offered. “A living and working tank means the DPS can keep blasting from afar and stay unmolested.”

“I concur,” Jay said, uncapping the rum bottle. Since they were talking about Attributes, Jay pushed Free AP into some of his weak spots. He added a little to Intellect, Resilience, Poise, Strength, and dropped the leftover on Conviction.

Frank handed all nine Attribute Crystals to Dennis. The jock gawked at his party. “Seriously? Just like that? Uh, thanks.”

“Don’t miss the target, and we won’t regret it,” Jay said before he tipped some rum down the hatch.

Ah! Sweet. Spicy. It was damn near perfect. It gave him lovely tingles and made his eyes droop heavily. Jay untucked a bed roll. Mike got the fire going on the mini brazier. Dennis absorbed the Attribute Crystals, fiddled around with a Profile he alone could only see, then he got his bed spot ready with his big ass sword laid beside it.

Mike broke out the food rations, which were square gray packages. Easy to rip open stuff. Inside was sweet-smelling and very filling nutrient bars, dried fruits, peanuts, and jerky. Eating it sparked a ravenous hunger Jay hadn’t realized was there. Been a while since they’d eaten, honestly. He could see it on Mike and Dennis’s faces that they were thinking the same.

Jay passed the rum around the fire as they got cozy. Mike drank a little. Dennis had a share. Then the bottle was returned to Jay, where he tucked it into his rucksack.

“I’ll stay up and keep watch,” Frank said, sitting away from the fire circle. “I’m a lot fresher, honestly, so it’s best this way.”

“You get first dibs on sleep at the next Safe Zone,” Jay declared, yawning. He took a swig from his canteen. The Crystal water was the tastiest water ever. It cleared a bit of his buzz. Just enough to let him sleep comfortably.

Jay laid back. Feeling merry in an alien, ginormous, and menacing dungeon space that was out to kill them. He heard very clearly that Dennis and Mike were on the verge of sleep, but something was keeping them up.

When he used his… sixth sense… he perceived a thick atmosphere surrounding them that had a weird weight that didn’t exist in reality. The atmosphere was getting dense, though, but it was hard for Jay to understand what it could be and why it was there. It just seemed pretty bad. Maybe Dennis could deal with it on his own, but it was affecting Jay’s best friend.

At the very least, Jay knew this was not a force he could fight. No, no, no. This was a force that could only be appeased earnestly, creatively, and joyfully.

Jay sang. First came the hum to a little playful beat from an oldie. Then came the words that spoke of happy people dancing in the moonlight. It was one of Jay’s favorites, and his voice knew it so well he hit all the notes with fervor, giving it soul. Because it was a song that he usually danced to, Jay did a little jig as he went, just a little shimmy in the shoulders and a flick of his fingers. It was partially silly, partially heartfelt, and it was wholly helpful. The dense atmosphere dispersed from around Mike first. He was familiar with Jay’s tendencies to beat back the darkness with song and dance. Dennis took longer to convince, but the atmosphere surrounding him went away, too.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much Jay could do about the humongous atmosphere weighing on Frank’s shoulders. That would take time to learn about and understand. Without further ado, Jay fell into a snooze, satisfied for no good reason other than being okay with being okay.

***

The toe of a boot poked Jay’s side.

“Ugh,” Jay grunted.

“Sleep time’s up, Luckrun. Time to get back to dungeon crawling,” Frank said, sounding like a hellish Drill Instructor.

“I like it better when people say wakey, wakey, eggs, and bakey,” Jay mumbled.

“How about get your ass up and eat your damn food rations?”

“Man, you’re the worst,” Jay muttered.

Like a zombie rising out of the grave, Jay sat up moaning. He took a long pull from his canteen, took a tiny swig of rum to help him kick start his brain, then he got busy getting his stuff sorted. His knapsack had a smattering of crystals for healing, rejuvenating stamina, and regaining mana. Basic stuff, but it would probably save them from a visit to the doctor since they were lacking that oh-so-helpful healer.

“I shouldn’t have made fun of the [Mediums],” Jay said.

“Sounded like they were making fun of you,” Dennis said, fixing his bedroll to his rucksack.

“I don’t recall.”

“It was not even twelve hours ago.”

“Was it really? There are whammy time shenanigans afoot,” Jay said. “Like a Back to the Future sequel that ran off the rails with the plot.”

“I’ve never seen those movies,” Dennis admitted.

“Great Scott!” Mike shouted, incredulous. “We needed to educate you yesterday.”

“Wow, what a huge bomb to wake up to,” Jay said. “Next, I’m going to learn Frank doesn’t watch war movies even though he acts like a pubescent Marine.”

Frank remained silent.

Jay and Mike squawked at him like they were a pair of body snatchers, and he was not one of them.

Frank tried his best to ignore them and keep from having a brain aneurysm.

“Wow, I think I get the full circle thing,” Dennis said. “Nerds are douchebags just like everyone else when they think they know best.”

Jay and Mike shared a look.

“He’s got a good point,” Jay said.

“He honestly has me stumped.”

“Be part of something bigger, they say,” Frank muttered. “Work with true heroes your age, they tell me. They’ll be the best of the best, they described. If you work hard enough, you’ll be among the greatest.”

Frank glowered at them.

Jay and Mike hurried up to get ready. Before he put on the rucksack, Jay sat with his Skill Book. “It’s not gravity, though. Maybe you should have it, Mike.”

“Do I look like I want to run in and kick something I can shoot from afar?”

“It would make for a surprising trump card.” Jay tossed a glance at Frank. “Did you read yours?”

Frank nodded. “It worked.”

Jay mulled it over. He cracked open the book.

He closed the book.

His mind became a daze, his vision blurry before it refocused. The book disintegrated between his fingers as a system message popped up.

New Skill acquired! [Mana Kick, Level 1]!

Error! [Mana Kick] is incompatible with [Lesser Freak] Class.

Searching for substitute. Replacement found. [Mana Kick] is lost.

New Skill acquired! [Grav Kick, Level 1]!

“That’ll do it.”

Rucksacks shouldered, everything tucked away tight and neat, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Jay felt ready to go. The party looked at Frank, who was messing with a golden star hovering over his palm. It had a long point aimed toward the hallway, which was twelve o’clock.

“[Guiding Light],” he said. “It’s supposed to keep you from getting lost.”

“Does it show shortcuts?” Jay asked.

“Can’t say. We’ll see as we follow it.”

They all had the same Talent. Jay gave it a try, summoning the power in his palm. It pointed in the same direction Frank was leading. Standard stock stuff, nothing thrilling.

Taking his position at the rear, Jay looked around for something out of the way but distinct. Something that screamed optional and beneficial. He tried using that weird sixth sense, but it didn’t reach far. Maybe no more than twenty feet. So, that didn’t help. With nothing indicating an alternate route, Jay let himself act like a tourist in an alien and menacing world.

They rounded chipped, faded, busted wooden blocks. They crossed near savage toy castles with sharpened spikes on the fortress walls. Dracula dollhouses rose up around them on their trek, staged like small towns. Gothic windows glared down at them, promising there was harm to be found in their dark interiors. It inspired a bit of creepy wonder in Jay, almost like wanting to go into a horror house out of the morbid need to get scared and feel alive. But like all the other quirky landmarks they’d passed to cross this massive Zone, nothing moved, nothing lived, nothing–

Jay’s sixth sense perceived an impression not so far behind him.

“Hey,” Jay hissed. “Something to our six o’clock.”

Pause.

“But it isn’t large,” Jay continued. “I don’t think it’s a threat.”

“The Safe Zone is still on,” Mike whispered.

Frank guided them around the corner of a dollhouse. They waited against the wall until a tiny figure walked into view and froze.

“Whelp, I’m dead,” the creature said.

Jay blinked away the gut-churning uncanny valley feeling. He moved forward before the others reacted.

“Who are you?” Jay asked.

“Creepy Kleo,” the little plastic figure answered. She tilted her peach-colored head and bright green painted hair. Large, black and white eyes glared at them on a face that reached up to Jay’s belly button. “You can call me Kleo since I can’t be creepy when I’m not creeping on you.”

“And why are you, um, creeping on us?” Mike asked.

“That’s what I do. I creep on people. What else do you expect from me? Carpentry? That’s Carl’s alley, but he got gobbled by those stupid snakes a while back, so nobody’s doing the carpentry thing anymore. There ain’t much of anything going on here in Evil Ville.”

“Why’s that?” Frank asked warily.

“Murderous Mary got free after Crooked Kevin got eaten by a snake and couldn’t keep her in the slammer until she paid enough favors. So, she took us out one by one. But then she ended up running off to join the Staircase Action Figure Militia past the Hallway Jungle. All that’s left here is dust, empty houses, and me, really.”

“Guys, we have to take her with us,” Dennis said. “I don’t know why, but we just gotta.”

“This is suspiciously scripted like a DnD homebrew,” Mike said.

“Which means?” Frank asked.

“Either she’s fated to die as motivation for our party to defeat the main villain, she’s going to backstab us and turn out to be the real villain, she’s going to betray us and then save us in the end after learning a moral lesson, or she’s our party’s mascot and extra comic relief,” Mike informed.

“Eh, fifty-fifty chance I betray you guys or get killed off like a lame-o,” she said.

“Fantastic. Let’s take her with us,” Jay said.

“Sweet,” Dennis commented.

“She literally said she’ll betray us on a coin flip,” Frank replied, a vein appearing in his forehead. “Why not just leave her here? Or better yet, get rid of her before she becomes a problem.”

The party rounded on Frank.

He buckled a few seconds later. “How do we keep her from betraying us and playing out that, uh, story thread?”

“Nope, nope, nope. That’s not the right question,” Jay said.

“Care to explain?” Frank asked.

“Nope.”

“I think I know what Jay’s thinking. I approve.” Mike nodded.

“Of course, you would, Mike. You two grew up with your moms changing your diapers right next to each other,” Dennis said. “But what about the rest of us?”

“And me, you too-tall wiseguys!” Creepy Kleo shook her plastic fist up at them.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jay said. “When it happens, it’ll work out for the best. The real question is, how do we take her from the dungeon?”

“Take me from the dungeon?” Creepy Kleo swayed side to side. “That’s impossible. This place is my whole world. The only way out is to invade your world and start creeping on you humans and scaring the crap out of you so bad you have heart attacks. Or I’m donzo when you beat the dungeon and cancel my life and everyone else that’s born here. That’s that.”

“I bet there’s more to it than that,” Jay pressed.

“Keep dreaming, loser,” Kleo mocked, “cuz when I’m fading into the big black, I’m gonna laugh at how wrong you are. Nobody changes the cycle of life, death, and depression.”

“Mike, did you catch that?”

“Indeed, Jay, I did catch that.”

“Let it be known that I’ll get to tell Creepy Kleo she was wrong, and I was right when we leave the dungeon together with her.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Kleo asked suspiciously.

“Because Dennis is invested,” Jay pointed out.

“I totally am.”

“Mike’s on demon time when he naps instead of getting his full beauty rest, so he’s inclined to think like a mad scientist.”

Mike pushed up his glasses with a smirk.

“And I want to hear the sweet, sweet music of you being wrong, and Frank getting forced to answer to his mortal superiors why a sweet little dungeon monster is… whoops, nearly spilled an important spoiler there. I’m not Tom Holland here.”

“Whatever, purple-eyed weirdo,” Kleo replied. “No matter who gets the last laugh, I get to laugh at you idiots now before the end. That’s a win in my book.”

“Make sure to laugh at Frank the most,” Jay added. “He acts like he doesn’t like it, but that’s how he plays hard to get.”

“I’m in hell,” Frank said, clutching his head. “I’m in hell, and Luckrun’s my tormentor.”

“Hey, can I get in on being a tormentor, too? Sounds like a gnarly way to get at someone who’s hard to get,” Creepy Kleo said, bouncing up and down with little movement from her stiff plastic legs. “What do I gotta do? Say nonsense? So what if I go like: Hey, I’m gonna hit you with a banana! Because you’re around me too much, and you need to split!”

“Blessed Mother of Christ, the little one puns,” Dennis said reverently, picking her up and setting her on top of his rucksack.

She sat with the regalness of a lego toy with her butt stuck to a plug.

“Heh, heh, look, now you all have to break your necks for me. See, watch. Hello down there! What’s that? I can’t understand you? What language is that? Oh, that sucks. I don’t speak Belowmyknees!”

Frank turned robotically and got back to marching them out of the ghost town. “Follow the Guiding Light,” he muttered to himself. “Just focus on that, and everything else will work out.”

“Hey, I know I’m creepy, but the way your friend here talks to a light kinda has me beat,” Kleo said. “What’s next? He’ll invite us to a party and share his special juice? Then we’ll all stare at a light for eternity!”

Jay cackled like a loon.

Mike smiled, seeming like he had long learned to give in to the chaos without losing his mind entirely.

Dennis smiled through his helmet’s eye sockets. The expression was pure and welcoming. He was genuinely enjoying the magic of a new otherworldly companion.

Even though that companion was an uncanny plastic dungeon monster that could be pretending to be humanlike. It could be waiting for its chance to kill them, eat their hearts, wear their skin, and use their bones as fancy jewelry to show off in front of its dungeon monster friends.

The happy-go-lucky and swaying perk to Dennis’s step as his rucksack passenger cracked jokes humanized the situation. Lightened the mood as Jay preferred it.

But Jay kept his sixth sense on top of Creepy Kleo even as he laughed along. He could have fun and take precautions. She was his responsibility now. If his whims turned out to be crud, then he’d deal with her one way or another.