After another nap, Jay managed to sit up on his rucksack without help. He enjoyed a food ration and a long pull of water from his canteen. Knowing he pulled off a death-defying speedrun move made his meal all the more enjoyable.

He felt way better than the last time he woke, but he wasn’t altogether one hundred percent. Hopefully, he didn’t damage anything permanently. Even if he did, the gains from his gonzo accomplishment might’ve been worth it.

Frank, Dennis, and Kleo had returned from their scouting mission and were waiting on Jay. They sat around the brazier, keeping warm from the second-floor chill. Wintery air gusted through, flapping cloaks and peppering them with snow drifts. Behind them, the second-floor balustrades rose above like colossal, alabaster towers. They propped the broken remnants of a giant handrail that could hold a cluster of trains running up and down its length.

Snow clouds twisted above their heads, caught in a maelstrom of air blasting through a frozen-solid vent. In the distance, Jay spotted lonely toy figurines that had frozen solid. Another dollhouse rose like a frozen castle far down the lane before reaching the split where the solo rooms and boss room waited for them. The castle was empty except for frozen figurines that looked eerily humanoid from what Frank described. Dennis had sworn he found an elf ice sculpture in there.

As for the solo rooms, Frank held them in wary regard and decided it would be better to level up before anyone tried them. Now that Jay was awake and functional again, the whole party waited as Jay appeased his appetite before he reiterated his system gains.

Dance Floor Relativity leveled up from 2 to 4!

Lesser Freak leveled up to 5! +8 Free AP delivered.

Dance Floor Relativity leveled up from 4 to 6!

“I’m sure I’m close to Level 6 for [Freak],” Jay said, all smiles.

“A combination of risk, difficulty, our lives put on the line, and other factors probably produced the surplus of experience for Jay,” Mike said. “I’m not sure if this is worth repeating just to level up Classes and Skills.”

“No,” Dennis said firmly. “I can’t go through that again. Not so soon.”

“There were too many failure points,” Frank added. “But I talked to Mike privately about a contingency if Jay failed. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that, but we shouldn’t run off risking nearly everything just for levels. We did this to get an advantage.”

Frank leveled a glare at Jay. “Don’t think this instance I side with you will be a habitual thing. If Mike’s not going to be the one telling you no, I need to be when your turn too far to lunacy.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Jay said. “Let’s get to the more fun bit. We’re gonna backdoor the militia?”

Frank nodded. “Unless anyone has any reason to hang here, let’s move and talk.”

Jay had no objections. He was replenished in his System and body. They packed up, donned their rucksacks, and moved as a unit down toward the staircase. Chilly, low-hanging clouds lumbered over their heads. Powdered snow crunched under their steps. Jay marveled at the sight. This was his first time in pure powdered winter wonderland snow. As Frank talked about his observations, Jay scooped up snow into a ball and tossed it at Kleo.

She was riding Dennis’s rucksack when the snowball struck her shoulder. Kleo’s head spun around one-eighty with a creaky, ice-splintering snap. Jay pretended to act innocent by looking away. The dungeon denizen emitted a low growl before turning back, giving no response or insult. She was sulking, and while what Frank said was interesting, Jay focused more on Kleo’s case.

“Maybe when we meet Murderous Mary, she’ll welcome us with open arms,” Jay said. “She may or may not have knives in her hands, but I’m sure the hug will be something to remember.”

“That’s not how things are supposed to go,” Kleo said lamely. “You’re ruining things.”

She didn’t continue, and Jay left her alone in favor of listening to Frank more. It wasn’t much fun, but the group was okay with mundane things more than Jay.

***

Name: Jay Luckrun, Rank 1

Class: [Lesser Freak, Level 5]

Race: Inhuman

Allegiance: Multiverse Protectorate Pantheon

Affinity: Gravity

Attributes:

[121 Applied AP];

12 Resilience, 12 Poise,

10 Strength, 20 Agility,

28 Perception, 10 Intellect,

14 Conviction, 16 Discovery;

[0 Free AP].

Skills: [Moonwalker, Level 4], [Dance Floor Relativity, Level 6], [Grav Kick, Level 1].

Talents: [Identify], [Guiding Light], [Obscurification], [Monkey Boon].

Titles: [YoAnna’s Champion of Challenge and Change], [Omen Bearer of the Apocalypse], [Precursor of the System].

Loot & Gear: [Goblin Thigh-Slicers, Basic], [Matching Travelers Shirt and Trousers, Basic], [Trainee Combat Boots, Basic], [Cheap Leather Vest, Basic], [Young Hunter’s Cloak, Basic], [Packbearer’s Belt, Basic], [Thief’s Starter Gloves, Basic], [Standard Traveling Knapsack, Basic], [Health Crystal, Good: 1], [Stamina Crystal, Good: 1], [Mana Crystal, Basic: 2], [Survival Knife, Basic], [Bottle of Rum, Basic: 1].

Jay smiled at the growth in his levels. Despite the threat to his life, the weight of responsibility knowing their entire dimension was at stake, and that he was way over his head and was probably the least qualified person here, seeing his numbers go up made him proud.

He earned those levels, and he was excited to get more. Hopefully, the legion of murderous, blood-thirsty action figures didn’t have crazy tricks that out-crazed Jay’s crazy.

The party was standing at the edge of the safe zone leading to the stairs. The second floor dropped sharply towards the next step down. Beneath the party, built like a series of interconnected shantytowns clinging to a Brazilian mountainside, the Action Figure Militia’s base sprawled down the huge steps.

The cold didn’t have as much bite here, but the fog was thicker, giving prominence to little braziers dotting the area with pinpricks of firelight. When the fog thinned for short periods, it was easy to see most of the construction was made from sheets of mismatched doll houses, toy castles, race car tracks, and the bodies and limbs of toys of enormous proportions.

Not too far below them, the boss stayed in an entire square wing made from the melted flesh of toys fused in a gruesome display of architecture similar to a gothic church. Jay hated to admit that the boss, or miniboss, had a sick sense of style that was as showy as it was repugnant. Which was fine with Jay. He didn’t have to feel bad about aiming to kill pure evil.

“So, we’re not supposed to stop Kleo from sneaking away?” Dennis asked hushly, trying hard not to look in the direction of the dungeon denizen. “Just making sure.”

“Just keep looking out into the distance and pretend we aren’t noticing,” Jay said with a smile.

“I still don’t get the point of this,” Frank muttered. “Why play along with the betrayal?”

“It’s quite elementary,” Mike said. “When we know betrayal is coming, why not turn it into a trap?”

“Which is going to make your plan even better, Franklin,” Jay said. “As long as you didn’t tell us everything truthfully.”

“I kept certain details to myself because of that thing,” Frank said. “And don’t call me Franklin.”

“It makes you think of the green turtle, doesn’t it?”

“Shut it, Luckrun.”

“When do we start?” Dennis asked. “All this waiting is getting me antsy.”

Jay glanced at Kleo from the corner of his eye. She was at the bottom of the dingy stairway that led to a flat, spacious, hardwood floor. Crossing that floor led to a single backdoor into the base. It was undefended, too. As if the monsters were confident there was no danger coming from behind.

Kleo slipped inside.

“She’s in,” Jay said. “I say we start now.”

“Dennis, lead the way,” Frank ordered.

***

“Freaking idiot!!” roared a deranged, barely feminine voice, followed by a loud smack.

Jay clenched his jaw, fighting every instinct to intervene while the party sneaked slowly into position. After traversing through a series of twisty, ramshackle hallways that went unguarded, the four boys found a large open doorway that led to a balcony. Beneath them was a nasty-looking atrium where toy bodies and limbs hung from chains. The floor was stained with dry gunk, and the few lit braziers that illuminated the place were interspaced between huge gulfs of shadow. Near one of the braziers at the center of the atrium, a large gathering of four dozen toys surrounded one toy that was slapping Kleo around.

“I left you alive for a simple reason,” Murderous Mary said. “Guide them through the jungle and lead them here. Hell, give them the best path through the jungle. It doesn’t matter. It’ll take them way too long to get through the jungle, get here, and still complete the dungeon.”

“I was trying!” Kleo wailed. “But, but, but, they had that one weirdo. He has freaky gravity powers that do crazy things. It makes the floor the sky, and the sky the floor!”

“He’s just another crawler. That’s what they all are! They should’ve been excited to explore a jungle, find all its treasure, and kill all the little green men for levels. Who cares! All that matters is the Toyreveler’s wishes, slowing those crawlers down hard.”

“We can still stop them,” Kleo pleaded. “They’ll be coming down here in an hour. That’s what the leader said. We can lay an ambush for them, and then I can finally prove myself. Then I can be your best friend, Killer Kleo, and we’ll be scary together.”

Jay shook his head.

“She really is a monster,” Dennis muttered quietly. “Maybe we should’ve listened to Frank.”

“No,” Jay said. “The script is going to ruin itself in one, two....”

Another smack resounded through the atrium.

Kleo clacked across the floor. She shivered while trying to get up, spitting dungeon monster blood.

“I was planning to kill you in front of the crawlers,” Murderous Mary said. “But I can’t wait that long anymore, idiot. I’m done using you.”

“But, but, but, I can be strong if you give me a chance,” Kleo pleaded. “I can be cruel, nasty, and killer.”

“When was the last time you killed anything?” Mary asked.

Kleo, a Level 1 Creeper Toy, hesitated.

“Exactly. You’re a peon, all talk and no walk. And you’ll never figure it out no matter how many times the dungeon recycles you.”

“But, but, but,” Kleo stuttered before falling silent. The will to defend herself died. She gave in to her fate as Mary slowly raised a knife oozing a dangerous, bloody aura.

“Now,” Frank said.

Jay vaulted over the balcony wall, braced his feet against it, and tapped on [Dance Floor Relativity]. He skewed gravity’s effect for himself alone, imagining the ground in Kleo’s exact direction, and bounded straight there. Gravity’s assistance quickly got him across the way as he somersaulted into a drop kick enhanced by [Grav Kick].

[Grav Kick, Level 1]: Before striking, charge a magic-soaked kick that grows stronger while the user moves with gravity. Weight and terminal velocity factors, too. Upon impact, the target will take solidified magic damage and Poise reduction. Small mana costs. Leveling up increases the damage scaling with your magic and the reduction in the enemy’s Poise.

Jay flew over the heads of Mary’s minions, his feet igniting into a purplish, bright aura that traced twin lines through the air in his wake. He struck the miniboss square in the back. The purple aura-bursting attack sent her flying on her face, stunning the Level 9 miniboss.

Grav Kick leveled up from 1 to 3!

Caught by surprise, the monstrous Level 5 and Level 4 action figures hesitated. Jay had enough leeway to slide to a stop beside Kleo. He grabbed her and shifted gravity on them both using [Dance Floor Relativity] once more. They dropped–flew up as the minions finally reacted and attacked with claws and pincers. They got close enough to leave tears in Jay’s cloak and nick him at a few places. All superficial damage, thankfully.

He got away with Kleo just before Mike’s attack combining [Mana Manipulation], [Manapusher], and Star Shot struck down with the searing intensity of a condensed laser beam. It speared through the cluster of toys and struck perfectly through Mary’s midsection.

The magic attack boiled her inside-out while lighting her partially on fire. Jay’s [Grav Kick] enhanced the effectiveness of the attack since the ambush had lowered her Poise, the magical defense Attribute. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to kill the miniboss, but it made her think twice about going after them herself.

“Useless imbeciles!” Mary screamed. “I should murder all of you if you weren’t worth redeeming! Go and get those crawlers and bring them to me alive. I want to skin them myself, even if it means tossing every action figure we have at them!

Hearing that, Jay quickened his upside-down steps across the ceiling and reunited with the others. He returned gravity to normal for himself and the damsel and passed her to Mike since he could stay effective with only one arm.

“Why are you saving me?” Kleo asked.

“Eh, why not? I figured I could add a new toy to my collection back home,” Jay said without breaking his stride. They were escaping back into the twisty tunnels to reach the backdoor again. “So, you can start looking at me as your new master.”

Dennis made a strangling noise, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Really? That can’t be right,” Kleo said slowly, dazed. “A crawler can’t be my master.”

“Of course, I can,” Jay said with the utmost seriousness. “That’s why I wanted you back. I let you go off to see Mary on your own. And because of your bravery in the face of an evil bitch, we’ll have a fighting chance of taking down the Action Figure Militia. You’re a good toy, Kleo, and I’m proud to have you.”

“But I’m not your toy,” Kleo said weakly. “I belong to the Toyreveler. I’m supposed to betray you and play my part in the dungeon.”

“That’s just plain silly. You’re totally my toy, and I’m totally your master. If that wasn’t the case, wouldn’t us crawlers kill you by now for easy experience and levels?”

The dungeon creature fell silent, seeming to doubt herself too much to continue. It might’ve been terrible for Jay to mess with her head like that. Something told him it would work out, and he believed in his weird, whimsical side.

They reached the open backdoor. The stairway leading up to the second floor was a hundred feet away. The climb up the rickety steps was a decently long one, though.

“Mike, up the staircase just like we’ve talked about,” Frank ordered. “Dennis, you have the left side. I have the right side. Jay–”

“Cause havoc or face the unusual threats,” Jay said.

“Exactly.”

With the final marching orders assigned, the party readied themselves for battle.

The stomping, clanging, rattling noises of monster action figures reverberated from the shaded backdoor to their ears.

Jay pulled out his goblin swords, the blades scraping out of their short scabbards. The sound was music to the [Freak’s] ears. It was the intro to what would be a good song and dance.