Gerald was seething with anger.

For instead of guiding some “kid” adventurer, where he could just pop by, give out some pointers and hang around for a few weeks before ditching the job like he had imagined, Isaldra had tricked him into helping out this Silky.

This was a job that is going to be taking him years to accomplish at the very least. Considering that his charge didn’t age in the common sense. Silky would be growing larger, have more floors and monsters under her command but there was no easily quantifiable means of tracking progress like the standardised adventurer ranks.

Gerald wasn’t an expert in whatever it was that dungeons used to quantify strength and success other than the fact that were death-traps. Plus now that he was in charge of helping Silky into becoming a successful one, he would have to dispense so much of his wisdom.

The little fairy unclenched his whole body before a tired sigh escaped as he looked down at the little gem that was in fact a terraforming and monster-mutating death machine.

Wait there’s that thing about dungeons not having status screens, something about them not being part of system truly or something, he quickly remembered to himself. This is going to be a big pain in the arse.

“Hey kiddo,” he asked with a nod as he fluttered down to land in front of the gem.

Yes? replied Silky.

“I’m gonna need yah ta do something for us.”

Not a problem mister ugly-fairy-man! You are here to help Silky so Silky should listen to you like mister Lorenzo and the queen mother had said, replied Silky excited as she seemed to vibrate in the air.

“Ugly fairy man.. what ta Realms kiddo? Just Gerald - Master Gerald is fine,” he quickly corrected her after noting how he had failed to introduce himself.

Ok mister Just Gerald, Master Gerald!

“No no kid, it’s just.. Master Gerald,” he tried once more.

Ok just..Master Gerald.

Now even Gerald wasn’t sure if the kid was being literal, thick as shit or taking his micky.

“Argghh… KID, let’s just go with Gerald ok?” he finally surmised.

Ok mister Gerald, what can I do to help? asked Silky excited before giggling in his mind.

Gerald lost track of what he was going to ask for a moment before getting himself into this nonsensical kerfuffle.

Oh yeah the Sacamin spell, he remembered.

“Yeah kiddo about that, have you heard of the Saca spell or statuses?” he tried.

Silky has never heard of the sort. Wait, wait, wait, wait! The queen did once teach us that we could not us that thingy like most leg-walkers can, we just have to feel what is ours to learn if we are strong! Silky excited shouted.

Gerald was starting to find all this telepathic shouting to be highly annoying as he messaged his temple. So this is going to be even harder without being able to see any of the kid’s stats at all, he thought to himself. And that leg-walkers sounded hella racist, he added.

“Ok Silky.”

Yes?

“No shouting unless it’s very important ok?” Gerald admonished with a wagging finger.

Yes mister Gerald, replied the kid.

“What ta Realms was that?! Don’t whisper like that either, its creepy in ma head,” Gerald added as a shiver shot up his spine. The telepathic whispering was highly unnerving, considering it was highly similar to schizophrenia.

Ok mister Gerald, Silky tried once more in an oddly deep, bass and rich male voice in his mind.

“Whoa! What da fuck kid… don’t do that either!” Gerald shouted in surprise.

Silky only replied by giggling in his mind in her usual voice whilst vibrating in the air.

Gerald was now sure that the kid had been fucking with him, but a small smile threatened to pull up the corner of his mouth before quickly disappearing.

He had to take stock of the situation and assess what he had to work with after all.

“Okay kiddo enough of that fucking and fiddling about in ma head, how’s big your dungeon and what yah got?”

This room is all mine and Silky is trying to push out into the bigger room mister Gerald, but Silky is too weak, so Silky is trying to get the plants to help Silky get stronger so Silky can push out.

Before he was able to process what the fledgling dungeon had told him, Gerald found something else that was quickly grinding down his nerves.

“Kid.”

Yes mister Gerald?

“When yar are speaking of yourself, just use ta word I instead of saying Silky a hundred times,” he corrected her.

But Silky is Silky, Silky is not I.

Gerald could feel a vein was starting to throb in his temple again before adding “Just do it kid.”

Ok mister Gerald, Silky will call Silky I.

“OK now that hallaballoo is over.. ya were sayin something about the rooms and plants or something?”

Yes, Silky… No Silky means… I, have claimed this room and now Silky- Silky means I - I am growing the plants to help.. I.. get stronger so .. I.. can push out and take more space.

“That’s good kiddo, practice makes perfect they say,” Gerald chimed in after seeing the kid struggle so hard.

So essentially the kid’s takin over the plants and now is using it to help make mana or whatever it is that dungeons do, he noted to himself as he prodded at a purple cave shroom beside his foot. It was visibly growing even as he observed it. Then another thought quickly occurred to him as he looked over towards his own bush beside him.

There were no changes to the plant. No supercharged growth. It wasn’t growing spikes or shooting off into the air or growing any legs.

“Kid.”

Yes Mister Gerald?

“What about my bush can you grow it faster?” he asked.

No Silky… I.. cannot take over it Mister Gerald, it also has the same sense as you mister Gerald, and it only grew when mister Lorenzo put the thingy on it, replied Silky whilst sounding slightly annoyed.

So she can’t change it because it’s a part of me.. and ta thingy she’s on about must’ve been the mulch, Gerald surmised to himself. He was glad that Silky or Isaldra would never be able to fuck with his bushes, well other than the fact that they could just destroy it outright.

He simply shrugged to himself before moving on.

“So kiddo, you got any monsters?” he asked.

No.

“Any animals?”

No.

“Any bugs even?”

No.

“Kid there’s always worms in the soil,” Gerald corrected the dungeon.

Yes there were, but when I made my home, Silky ate everything. All the plants here Silky grew from the spores on mister Lorenzo’s shoes.

Seeing as the kid was able to say the word I once without having a stroke, Gerald took it as a minor win.

“Ok I guess it’s up to me to go grab some critters for you,” said the fairy before cracking his knuckles.