When I regained a semblance of consciousness, I was unsure how much time had passed. The pain fogged my mind, and I was too busy wailing to check the time. I did find out later that only a few minutes had passed, and it was just my condition that made it appear like hours.

But murky mind or not, pain or not, the image of Sepyre was still clear in my mind. And the words she said, which stang even more than the wounds. "Will my apostle die in a puddle of blood and vomit without achieving anything?"

Without asking her directly, I will never be sure that this part wasn't a dream or a hallucination. Or if it even happened at all. Indeed, who can guarantee that perfect memory works when one is howling and crying while rolling in blood, and who knows what else? Or that Goddesses appear to their moribund apostles to shame their already dying ass?

***

The point is, I did regain consciousness. And the pain was absolutely insane. Every part of my body hurt, and I felt as if dozens of blades replaced the blood in my blood vessels, as even breathing made my vision darken.

Still, for an unknown reason, I clearly knew what I had to do. Concentrating all of myself on the idea, or stat, called [Willpower], I forced my practically unresponding right arm to rise and then activated [Inventory]. My second and only healing potion appeared from thin air, and with unmoving fingers, I brought it closer to my mouth without failing (which is already strange, considering I could hardly even feel the arm).

My eyes refused to open, so I only could remember how the lid was. Thankfully, security lids were not a thing in this world, and so, after a few failed attempts with my unresponding fingers, I used my teeth to force it open.

*Gulp*

And then, I drank the contents of the bone container in one go. All while inwardly hoping that healing potions were full ones. And not percentage-wise restoration like in most games.

"AHHHH!!!" I remember that a moment later, I started shouting as crazy. And I also remember that I blacked out for a few moments before suddenly finding myself with no indication of pain. Just what the fuck, why do healing potions HURT when they activate?!!! And not just hurt, but actually hurt more than the wounds they are curing?!

"I... am alive!" While I am sure I did exclaim that, I still wonder why. And honestly, I can not even fathom what made me do the actions that followed that outcry.

With slightly unsure steps, avoiding looking at the floor, I moved towards Gris. She was still sleeping peacefully, and I remember how it made me feel angry at her. But then, I picked her up and walked towards the stairs that led to the second floor.

I had not explored the mansion at all, but I supposed that a bedroom would be not hard to find, and indeed, it was so. And while I did not know if it was hers, a guest one, or whatever else, I kicked the door open and entered.

Then, at least judging from my memories, I deposited her on the bed and sat on the floor nearby before going unconscious, this time for real. And for a long time indeed.

The only reason why I do not doubt that this happened was that when I awoke, I felt no pain and was sitting on the floor near a bed indeed. An empty bed, and its occupant, which also confirmed my memories, was the one shaking me awake!

___________________________________________________________________

I could not blame Gris for being bewildered when she woke up, but she probably could have used less force. The potion did heal me, so some shaking and a couple of slams against the bed did not affect me. But how the hell did she know that I was okay? And wait, did she even know? Considering the bloody and tattered clothes on me, I doubt that.

"Stop, please, now!" Half-hazy, I shouted erratically, but it did the trick.

"Who? When? Why?" She pointed at the bloody clothes, then her finger traced a line to her belt, still on me, as she suddenly added, "It suits you, but why do you have it on?"

While the belt part made me want to joke back, as I recalled the events that followed me putting it on, I answered curtly, "I don't know. Go ask the two bodies on the first floor."

"Wait, you mean?" She blinked a couple of times, and then she nodded before turning around and walking towards the door.

I also stood up, planning to go after her, but felt that I should not. Gris was probably used to seeing what she would, and, "Life Radar" now that I knew we were alone in the mansion, she was safe.

Neither the thought of staying with Gris nor investigating who I had killed crossed my mind. In place of that, I muttered, "As for me, I probably should bathe and change, huh? And then return home." Then, as if I wasn't acting crazy enough, I walked out into the corridor and started examining door after door, looking for the bath.

I found the bath to be behind the third door I opened. And without even thinking, I entered and opened the faucet. Gris was rich enough to have fully equipped baths of a marble-like stone and direct hot water, but I did not pay much attention to the details.

I just did what I had to do, scrubbing myself, and then after taking a look at the pile of trash that became of my new clothes and sighing, dressed into the older set.

"Clean" A spell to clean Gris's belt, and done. Probably it took me a long time to do all of that, but I was doing everything to avoid thinking anyway. Not that it was surprising, the things that I would think about were the ones that a person should avoid. Well, a standard person from my world, not the locals.

Unsurprisingly when I left the bath, I found myself nose to nose with the owner of both the belt and the mansion, no one but Gris.

"Sorry, it seems that I have attracted yet another danger to you." She looked dismayed, but nothing but the question "Why?" crossed my mind.

"Another? And what do you mean, another danger?" I asked with a slightly late reaction.

"I..." She started but stopped right away. Then, she half-sighed and shook her head before continuing, "They are killers. And, well, they came after me, you know?"

"I did suppose that. Drugs, poisons, and appearances aside, they broke into your house. Sorry for the mess. Thanks for the evening. Oh, and here's your belt." What at that time looked like a good speech turned out to be curt, uncouth, and a bad one. Still, it wasn't that I blamed her or something. It wasn't even that I felt guilty for what I did.

"Lindar?" My words shocked her. Or maybe my actions of giving her the belt, nodding goodbye, and starting to walk away? Or that she called out to me, but I did not respond?

"Lindar! Damn!" She almost pounced on me and shook me again.

It took me a while to understand why I acted like that. And the answer was one that I honestly did not expect. I was feeling downcast because I wasn't feeling anything about killing two people!

It wasn't the first time that I killed. But this time, it had been too direct. No long-range magic or godly berserker state or whatever. And I felt none of the previous shock at the deed. Which somehow left a more severe strain.

Thankfully, I did understand now. And the knowledge allowed me to regain what I consider my usual self.

"Sorry, give me some time. I know I am acting strangely. But well, I am still unused to seeing and thinking about such things."

"I know, but don't feel remorse! They were here to kill me, and you saved me, again! Damn, you are a hero. Stop looking as if you just went and killed innocents!" She shouted without stopping shaking me.

"I... understand. Don't worry. Just give me a few hours, okay?"

"Mmm." She nodded after releasing my shoulders.

"And you have to find out who sent them. After that, tell me, okay?" With that, I left at last.

***

As I left Gris's house, I did not even look around until I reached the main street.

{I am alive.

Gris is alive.

I did the right thing.

Now, then, what should I do? Lieade is far from the fantastic isekai I expected, but it's not a reason to hesitate.

Yes, it's not a reason!

I have my task, and I have to complete it. I have made friends and acquaintances. And if I can, I have to protect them.

If it means that I will have to fight, kill, and do other things that I never expected to, then, so it be!}

Sepyre's image floated in my mind again. And while it's hard to explain, I felt that she agreed with me.

"The main street, huh?" I looked around, and feeling somehow renewed (?) started walking briskly.

{There are things I have to do, and I should do them. But first, back home!}

***

When I opened the door, I felt slightly hesitant to step inside. Kierra and Angelique were neither my family nor something close to that. So why do I feel bad about disappointing them? Or about lying to them?

"Lindar! I know we said that you should return late, but! And wait, what happened with your clothes?!" Kierra looked at me with worried eyes, and again, I understood the reasoning behind what I felt and thought. After all, if they were in danger, would I not do the same as I did tonight?!

"Sorry, something happened. Gris and I are fine, but it was slightly dangerous." I would not reveal the details, but I knew they would find out anyway, so it would be better to touch the topic by myself.

"Dangerous? Were you wounded?" Angelique rushed out of the dining room and asked in worry as well.

"I am fine. Can not say the same about the clothes." I quickly changed to a joking tone, and while they did ask for all the details, I only explained that someone tried to attack Gris, and I intervened.

The girls actually were expecting me to come back in the morning, which again showed me that Gris had not hidden much from them. Funnily enough, Kierra had prepared a tirade about my conduct as well. One that I avoided because of what happened and her worry. But Angelique later told me.

"Anyway, it's afternoon now, and I feel like doing something. So, I think I will cook something, and you two go buy some drinks, seems okay?" Deciding to spend some time with them and avoid any more talking about the incident, I abruptly changed topics.

"Okay. What do you want?" Although Kierra wanted to ask something else, Angelique accepted the topic change and asked right away, preventing Kierra from delving deeper.

"Well, any wine will be fine for me. And maybe a dessert?" I did feel like an alcoholic after asking for wine. But I do not get drunk anyway, so who cares?

"We will go get something. And what will you cook, by the way?" A glance at the brooding Kierra later, Angelique asked again while starting to pull on her.

"It will be a surprise, so take your time."

The girls took the words about taking their time seriously, as when they returned, I was starting to get anxious about their safety. At the same time, I had finished cooking, so they arrived when they had to.

***

"Delicious! How is this thing called?!"

"I am unsure how to translate it, but we call it Pizza." Poor guys from the Dominion. They don't even know that they are now the Italian staple inventors.

"Pisa?"

"Pizza"

"Piza!"

"More or less, yes. Now, eat while hot." I smiled and sipped at the [Merchant's Dew] that they brought.

I never was a great cook, but I did live alone while saving money by cooking, so I wasn't the worst either. The result of my today's experiment was hardly a great pizza as well, but it wasn't the worst either. Surprising when considering that I slacked off and went with a local recipe of crust (water+lard+flour) in place of doing the proper dough.

{But I do lack things like spices and sugar, hmm. Time to start my projects and slowly work to the moment when I do have everything required for a good pizza!} Strange and misplaced thought, but at least it went along with the idea of forgetting about the nasty things and centering on my life and goals...