Mitch and Jodie kept to themselves until Avi and Charlie returned to the cabin. There was still plenty of daylight, which perplexed Mitch since he assumed that they would be out all day. He inquired about their date, and Charlie proceeded to gush about how perfect everything was, from the scenery to the weather. A totebag was handed over that contained several bottles of wine from a local vineyard. “For tonight!” she gleefully explained. “There’s also cider in the fridge, as promised.”

Mitch refrained from mentioning that he wouldn’t partake in drinking, but he thanked her anyway for her generosity. Jodie, however, wasted no time in popping open a bottle early and coaxed Charlie into having a glass as well. “Oh, I…” Mitch’s mouth formed a line.

“What?” Jodie raised an eyebrow as she tipped the bottle back up.

“It’s nothing. I wanted to see if you’d like to go paddling in the canoe. But-” he gestured towards the half-filled wine glass.

“Oh! Well I wasn’t planning on it, but I can…” she frowned. “I’ll drink this later? Canoeing could be fun?”

“No no, it’s cool,” Mitch insisted. “I saw, iunno, a hawk or an eagle earlier. I wanted to get some pictures, but I can do it myself.”

“I could go with you?” Avi spoke up. “I haven’t been paddling in a while!”

“Oh no, I- I couldn’t put you out like that,” Mitch tried to be dismissive about it.

“No, I mean it!” Avi put a hand to his chest and earnestly declared, “I’d actually like to go!”

And Mitch was about to protest, already stammering and ready to push back, but Charlie encouraged it as well, so he agreed. The paddles were removed from the hooks that they hung from, life vests were grabbed from out of the storage closet, and Mitch led Avi outside and down the stone stairs. After a brief exam to make certain there was no damage, they both worked together to hoist the canoe from off of the saw horses and placed it between the shoreline and the water’s edge. Mitch mentioned the strong gusts of wind from earlier, and Avi related that he and Charlie experienced it as well when they were doing a tasting at a brewery. However, he also emphasized that he wasn’t too concerned, since it died down a while ago. “We’ll just be careful,”Avi assured. While that didn’t exactly sound like the wisest course of action, they came this far already, and Mitch wasn’t in any mood to put up an argument.

“Could this count as physical therapy?” asked Mitch once they were off, past the dock and away from land, the long grass below the water making a valiant effort to slow down and tangle the oars, but was unsuccessful.

“Absolutely. Just don’t push it too hard,” Avi nodded from his position in the front as he dipped the paddle into the water and breaking the surface tension. While actively working to get to the lake’s center, there wasn’t too much conversation which suited Mitch fine. He scanned the skies, seeking out the bird that he saw earlier. Each passing minute that he didn’t spot it made him feel more ridiculous over whatever this endeavor was. He dipped his paddle and created resistance so that Avi would slow down, fully resigned to writing this off and ready to declare that they should head back. Avi turned his head, his eyebrows knit in confusion.

At the crest of self doubt, there was a high pitched whistle, and the familiar silhouette of a large bird in flight circled above. Mitch picked up his camera and pointed it towards the sky, eye on the viewfinder and rapidly clicking the shutter button. Laughing heartily, Avi commented about how until he saw the bird, he was confused as to why Mitch slowed them down; Mitch played it off as though that was the reason and definitely not any sort of panic. They pondered what it was, until Mitch recalled that ospreys used to nest around the area. Most of them took off when their habitats were disturbed due to development, but a long time passed since any new houses were built, and there were ongoing efforts to reintroduce them to the area.

His theory was proven to be correct when the bird dive bombed the lake several hundred yards away and emerged with a fish between its talons. As it took off to the sky, Avi yelped about it being the coolest thing he’d seen in a while. Mitch tapped him on the back to show him the pictures he captured, and Avi spun in place until they were facing one another, taking the camera into his possession and scrolling through the images.

“You recently did a tour of the Caribbean and Central America, how can that be the coolest thing you’ve seen?” Mitch wondered out loud.

“I did, but I was working most of the time. I didn’t get to go out much, and when I did, it was in places that were crawling with tourists.” The camera was handed back over. “By the way, you’re really talented, man.”

“I took a class or two,” Mitch admitted, reattaching the lenscap. “Hey, can I ask something?”

“Sure,” Avi smiled.

“How do you manage doing tours and being away for long stretches at a time when you’re in a relationship?” Avi’s expression dropped ever so slightly; when it’d recovered, it wasn’t quite the same as before. “Like my ex hated wrestling so much,” Mitch hurried to clarify. “So trying to get booked somewhere outside of New England ended up always turning into a logistics nightmare, and then a fight.”

“Oh, Charlie isn’t much of a fan herself,” Avi chuckled.

“Aw fuck,” Mitch rubbed the side of his neck. “We don’t have to talk about this, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re fine.” Avi paused, glancing to his side and staring in that direction for several seconds before he looked back over at Mitch. “Yeah, so. Things were a bit different when we first met. It was right before I’d written off school, but like, for years neither of us stayed in one place for too long, so it worked out really well. She did all of this crazy international stuff, like Doctors Without Borders. Just super cool self-sacrificing stuff for the greater good. Meanwhile, I’d be in, iunno, Berlin? All greased up, mostly naked and fighting dudes.” He laughed. “But yeah, our lifestyles were compatible in the sense that neither of us were ever really ‘home’, so we could love one another while being free from most expectations that society places on couples. Which, as you’ve experienced first hand, can be rather difficult when you love wrestling and your significant other doesn’t get it.”

“I get why you’d try to be so invested in trying to have her move here,” Mitch responded sympathetically. “Like if you’re staying in the country for the foreseeable future.”

Avi’s eyes widened, and he ran his hand from his mouth to the tip of his beard. Mitch couldn’t shake the feeling that he was trespassing. “I mean,” Avi started slowly. “It’s that, or quit wrestling.”

Mitch blinked a few times. “Come again?”

“Well, um.” Avi was doing his best to maintain his calm demeanor, but the air around him was all wrong. It was heavy. “I don’t have too many viable options as far as the big promotions go. Not that I’d want to sign with The Fed,” he made a face, and Mitch snickered at it. “My career is wholly dependent on traveling all over the place. And a while back, Charlie and I were doing a sort of State of the Union address, where we hashed a few things out.” Swallowing thickly, Avi stared down. “Long story short, if it doesn’t work out at Monument, I’m gonna move to Tacoma and probably get a real person job because there’s no wrestling out there. And I could open my own school, but I don’t want to manage a business and still take bookings. I don’t want to be tangent to wrestling and also not be able to take part in it, that’d kill me. I still have years left in me, I think. But also Davey Richards retired last year. Shelley just retired a few months back. It happens.”

Mitch’s jaw was slack as the confession tumbled out. “Well that fucking sucks,” he blurted when he remembered how to speak again, and Avi burst out laughing.

“This is the first time that I’m telling anyone,” Avi spoke softly, wrenching his hands.

“I wish I knew what to say,” Mitch sighed. “I’m sorry, man.”

“That’s relationships, right? Compromise?” When Avi said that, Mitch recalled saying something identical to his therapist a few days ago in regards to an anecdote about Calvin kicking him out over…he couldn’t remember, probably band practice? Ann set aside the legal pad and, hands folded in her lap, she responded that compromise was about deciding what to cook for dinner or selecting a movie to go out and watch, not violating fundamental boundaries.

And he looked at Avi, who committed innumerable acts of kindness on a daily basis, sitting across from him in this rare form of being vulnerable and timid. Avi, who was welcoming and worked diligently to assure their friendship, like someone that feeds and gains the trust of a feral cat. Avi, who drove 6 hours when he barely knew Mitch to help him gather up the scraps of whatever semblance of life he had left. Who said the nicest things that Mitch ever heard from another human being. Who was attentive, and actually remembered the smallest, offhanded details. Who was so beautiful, that it drove Mitch to the precipice of insanity on a daily basis, but whose friendship had rapidly become invaluable within a short stretch of time that he’d gladly risk the loss of those mental facilities for it.

All Mitch wanted to do was repeat what his therapist had told him, and yet, he lacked the courage to do so. It wasn’t his place to determine how a relationship should or shouldn’t function, especially one with the lengthy history that Avi and Charlie shared. So instead, he managed to be brave enough to lean forward and pat Avi’s forearm, offering an “I’m sure it’ll work out.”

“Thanks, Mitch,” Avi exhaled. “I really hope so.”

Since the osprey did not appear to be coming back, Avi turned back around and paddles were dipped back into the water again. They went around the lake’s perimeter in silence. Avi’s confession still hung heavy, and Mitch knew that it was just in his imagination but its density seemed to weigh the canoe down. Part of it was deeply personal for Mitch, still sore from the amount of things he’d been passionate about and sacrificed to placate former partners. He still didn’t know shit about navigating relationships, but the idea of whittling oneself down to the marrow to feed another person was, in retrospect, downright horrifying.But this wasn’t his battle to fight, and he thought far too deeply and created too many issues in his own head over what wasn’t his territory to defend.

For all he knew, there was more to the conversation -a conversation that he was never even a part of- that transpired before he befriended Avi, let alone met him. There was no stake for him here to claim. Having a crush didn’t entitle Mitch to anything at all, and he was aware that he ought to be grateful for being entrusted with something so delicate and so important.