I’m at a place I never thought I’d be at. Never in all my years did I think I’d be relaxing in a sauna. But here I am with Warren, Ryder, Luther, Will, unfortunately, Adam, and Remi’s spirit bear. The bear gets along with Ryder so that’s why it’s here. I don’t mind, it’s a cool bear. I’m not going to lie, hanging out in this sauna hasn’t been too bad. Nothing exploded and the steam is making me feel rejuvenated. The only bad parts so far was Adam trying to show his private parts and Will telling me he wiped himself with his hands when he went to the bathroom. That was nasty, I didn’t need to know that. I feel dirty for shaking his hand earlier. Luckily someone started talking to get my mind off of Will being disgusting.

“So ugh this is the first time us guys really got to hang out alone isn’t it?” Adam brings up.

“Oho that it is my fair maiden! It is one of those rare instances where men can be men! Perform actions and discuss subjects that beautiful women can never understand! Yet it warms my heart that you would abandon your fellow women just so you can spend time with me.” Luther excitedly answers.

“B-but I’m a man. A manly man. Who does man things. ” Adam argues.

“Maybe Luther has a point, calling you a man feels wrong.” I concur.

“B-but that’s just not fair. Warren help me out here.”

“You do have some feminine features” Warren replies leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed.

“Like what?”

“You have long eyelashes.”

Adam proceeds to touch his eyelashes trying to verify if Warren’s claim is true.

“It’s ok Adam. Long eyelashes aren't a bad thing to have. In some cultures it is a sign of beauty. You could’ve been like me and have really short eyelashes. When I was a kid I made an explosion go off in front of me, singeing them and my eyebrows off. Neither can grow back all the way now.” Ryder reveals.

“Ryder, that beauty thing only applies to females.” I correct.

“Well that just means Adam would be really good at cross dressing. He has a unique skill” Will adds.

“B-but I don’t wanna cross dress.” Adam pleads.

“It could come in handy though. You never know when you have to become a woman. Ain’t that right bear?” I say to the bear who’s been chilling.

“Arf” the bear responds.

“See? The bear has spoken, conversation over.” I conclude.

“Ok fine I guess I’m not the embodiment of manhood but I still want to do guy stuff...I’ve never experienced a lot of it growing up. I was hoping we could you know...have guy talk.” Adam wishes.

“Ahhhhhh” Luther, Will, Ryder, and I say understanding what Adam has been trying to get at.

“My friends let us have a conversation only us men can have. A conversation that is not meant for the ears of women excluding the one present. Let her witness true male bonding.” Luther encourages.

“I’m down, are you ready for this Will?” I ask him.

“Yep. Let’s do this.”

“Alright then. Will, how’s your mental health?”

“Wait huh?” Adam blurts out confused.

“You know Quincy, it could be better. Ever since I came to this world, I got beat up a lot, blown up a lot, and almost died more times than I can count. I almost lost my friends recently, and being given all of these expectations about becoming emperor and stopping the demon wave is overwhelming. I feel all of this weight on my shoulders stressing me out.” Will admits.

“It’s ok Will, you won’t lose any of us. I’ll blow up the world before letting that happen” Ryder says to comfort him.

“I would say you’re exaggerating, but I know you’re not” Will acknowledges.

“My friend, if I were you I’d have nothing to fret over. No one’s asking you to stop the demon wave and become emperor by tomorrow. I know that when the time comes, you’ll be ready. Think about it, you only have 3 girlfriends right now, by the time we ask you to become emperor who knows how many you’ll have! You will be so strong by then” Luther assuages, patting Will on the shoulder.

“Luther I keep telling you, I don’t have any girlfriends. All I have is a fake fiance, an elf who teases me, and a small pervert friend slave.” Will reminds everyone.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the wedding” I state.

“What? Quincy you were there, it’s a fake engagement.”

“Yeah but you may need a fake wedding right? Yet here I am without an invitation and that’s messed up.”

“Ugh ok Quincy you’re invited to a wedding that’s not happening.”

“Am I going to be the best man?”

“No, in this wedding that’s not happening Ryder is going to be my best man. You can be the flower girl”

“Alright sounds good. Imma throw flowers on everyones’ face. I’m gonna put flowers on everything.” I say excitedly.

You would think I’d be upset at being the flower girl but it’s a good gig. You get to assault people with petals and there’s nothing they can do about it.

“Wait so do I need to get my suit now?” Ryder questions.

“No, this wedding isn’t happening” Will clarifies.

“Guys I think we got distracted.” Adam mentions.

“Oh yeah you’re right Adam. So Quincy, how’s your mental health?” Will concurs.

“Wait guys I’m glad we can talk about mental health but what I meant by guy talk is that-” Adam attempts to say.

“Well you know Will, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’m also stressed. I’ve gone through a lot of bull since I came here. I got arrested, kidnapped, beat up multiple times, and killed people. I want to go home. It’s also been gettin hard to sleep.” I confess.

“Oh no my friend why’s that?” Luther questions egging me to continue.

“It’s just hard to fall asleep sometimes. My head becomes full of questions like when am I going home? Am I ever going home? Stuff like that. The worst part is that sometimes I have dreams I’m back home only to wake up and realize I’m still here.” I elaborate.

I didn’t plan on being this open with everyone. I usually followed the code of keeping your problems to yourself but this relaxed atmosphere makes me want to be honest.

“Quincy I haven’t forgotten, I’m gonna try my hardest to get us home. I know it doesn’t feel like we’re making progress but I’m gonna do it one day” Will promises.

“Quincy I-I didn’t know you were going through so much. D-do you need a hug?” Adam questions, about to get up from his bench.

“Hell no” I shut down immediately.

“Do not worry fair maiden, your hug isn’t needed. Because I’m doing it right now!” Luther yells as I suddenly feel arms wrap around me.

OH MY GOD THE PAIN. LUTHER’S ARMOR IS SO HOT BECAUSE OF THE STEAM.

“Ahhhhhh!” I scream in agony.

Luther lets go and I fall to my side on the bench.

“Ow. It hurts. Ryder, tell us what’s going on with your mental health so I can focus on something besides the pain.” I tell him.

“My apologies my friend. Your sad confession made me want to spring into action” Luther whispers.

“It’s ok. There are worse ways to die” I reply.

“Hmmm how is my health? Sometimes, I have this dream where my explosions are 2 times smaller than usual. That’s the worst nightmare I have.” Ryder discloses.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through that,” Will says.

“Yeah man that sounds horrible, don’t worry I doubt that’ll ever happen” I add on.

“I-is that it?” Adam questions.

“Yeah that’s it. Everything else is ok” Ryder affirms.

“That doesn’t sound like too much of a problem though”

“Oh my god Adam I can’t believe you just said that, you’re so insensitive. I thought you were understanding. Yet here you are insulting others for their mental issues.” I admonish.

“I’m with Quincy, that’s just rude” Will concurs.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that...Ryder I’m sorry” Adam whimpers.

“It’s ok Adam. You just have to be more sensitive next time” Ryder says, accepting Adam’s apology.

“This is such a productive and manly conversation! I’m proud of you all.” Luther congratulates.

“Wait Warren hasn’t spoken yet.” I point out. “Warren, do you want to tell us what’s on your mind?”

“I-I haven’t talked about my issues either.” Adam brings up, trying to shift the attention away from Warren like the rude man he is.

“Adam, not everything is all about you. We are talking about Warren now” I angrily comment.

“No I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted to remind everyone-”

“Shhhh! We are talking to Warren now! How are you feeling man? How’s your mental health?” I ask, shutting down Adam’s rudeness.

Warren, who’s had his eyes shut, opens them and leans forward.

“.....” he says staring at us.

“Come on Warren, open up”

Warren is an introverted person. He’s the type of guy who has to be told to interact with people. Now don’t get me wrong, Warren can clearly socialize when he has to, it’s just he’s never the type of guy to come to you to start a conversation, you have to go to him. Unless he’s drinking, I’ve noticed he’s quite social when he has a drink in his hand. But I think regardless of whether he has a drink or not, he doesn’t like to open up.

“No,” Warren answers, leaning back again.

“My friend, I implore you to participate! I can tell you are troubled.” Luther says, begging him to talk.

Luther is perceptive when it comes to things like this, at least I think he is. He’s either very perceptive or very ignorant of his surroundings which is what makes Luther fun to watch.

“No I’m good.” is all Warren says.

Dang this is gonna be hard, Warren is a tough egg to crack.

“Warren please. If anyone has to talk, it’s you.” Adam begs.

As much as I hate Adam, I have to agree with him. Warren is clearly the most distressed out of all of us.

“Quincy, is Warren really that troubled? I thought he was just full of angst” Will whispers to me.

“Nah I think he’s got full blown depression. I told you about why he’s here right? To save his friends?”

“Oh yeah you did mention that. That’s rough, I can’t imagine how I’d feel. Especially after what just happened..”

“Guys I can hear you. I’m fine ok? Everyone stop worrying.” Warren tells everyone.

“Ok but can the bear worry about you? Because he is worried.” Ryder states.

“Arf” the bear confirms.

“No. The bear is going to have to stop worrying like the rest of you.”

“Come on, this is gonna make the bear sad. Don’t do this to the bear man.” Ryder appeals.

“Yeah Warren have you ever seen a sad bear? It makes you want to cry” Will says in agreement.

“This is true. Warren do you want to be known as the guy who makes bears cry?” I point out.

“I-I don’t really know how a bear shows sadness but yeah Warren can you please just talk? I’m worried about you” Adam adds.

Come on, give into peer pressure. Technically in this case it’s bear pressure. Come on give into bear pressure.

“Alright fine. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months. I go to sleep quickly, but everytime I wake up I’m still tired. Like you all I’m stressed. That’s it” Warren reveals.

“Isn’t there more you wish to say?” Adam asks.

“Nope.”

“But surely you want to talk about-”

“No I’m done. That’s all you’re getting.”

It’s a miracle that Warren said that. Adam and I both know there’s a mountain’s worth of things we want him to talk about but I can tell that’s the best we’re going to get. To Will and Ryder it might look like he’s basically said next to nothing but I could tell it was a lot for him.

“Well guys good guy talk” I say trying to conclude everything.

“Ugh guys, I know this may seem strange to bring up now but this isn’t what I originally had in mind.” Adam asserts.

“What? You can’t get more manly than talking about mental health. What else is there?” I question.

“...I originally wanted to talk about girls.” Adam sheepishly discloses.

“WOAH WOAH WOAH” Will, Ryder and I say in shock.

“Oho?” Luther says in the back.

Warren didn't react, he went back to resting his eyes.

“Adam what the hell are you on about?” I inquire after Will and Ryder have gotten the shock out of their system.

“W-what? I thought guys talk about girls. Like locker room talk and stuff.” Adam contends.

“Adam, I don’t know who you think we are but we respect WAHMEN!” I declare, slamming my fist on the bench.

“I-I didn’t want to talk about perverted things. Just like giving each other relationship advice and things” Adam says trying to defend himself.

“I cannot believe my ears. Quincy, I know you told me Adam was bad but I didn’t expect this. Such...such lewdness.” Will tells me.

“Adam, if you want to talk about the curvatures of different types of bombs, I’m down. But to talk about women behind their back is wrong.” Ryder interjects.

“Where I’m from we beat those who objectify women.” I threaten.

“Ok ok I’ll drop it! Sorry!” Adam apologizes.

“Good. Don’t you ever objectify women again.” I scold.

I can’t believe Adam, I can’t believe such barbarous behavior came from him. As much as I hate to say it, there are some things that I respect about Adam, but he’s just revealed a dark side. He should know that the girls would never talk about us in such a manner, because of this we shouldn’t either. I’m sure the girls right now are having wholesome conversations that don’t involve us.