“Uncle, I… I…” Albeit hesitant, the boy’s voice was solemn. “I have decided. And after this incident, especially so. Seeing that direwolf hurt Samuel just… made me move on my own.”

“When facing that direwolf, staring into its bloodthirsty eyes, I realised that I just can not keep things going as they are going right now, and even if I do… I will only lose more and more as the time goes on, more so, without being able to do anything when I could have done something. I should’ve done something. And worse, I will only regret later and say only if I could’ve done something.”

“I will take revenge. Revenge for my mother, for all the people that died that day, and for myself. Knowing that they all are roaming around, maybe even hurting other people… I can’t bear it. I refuse it. Even if it’s for nobody else, I’ll do it for myself.”

His hand touched the bandages wrapping around the left side of his head, covering his left eye. His lips arched. A forced smile lacking any intent filled his face, hiding his pain.

Something about the words he said tugged at my heart, resonating deep with me.

However, I knew better. The matter wasn’t about me. It was about him. Bottling my emotions, I did the best thing I could — looking at the situation with as least a bias as I could manage, keeping the boy’s own intentions at the forefront.

My brows sank as I asked, “And what will you do about it?”

The question stunned him, causing him to avoid meeting my eyes as he fell silent, as if in deep thought. Time trickled like grains of sand.

Seems I asked something I shouldn’t have. Or maybe it sounded insensitive, and that’s why he is now hesitating?

Throwing my head back, I stared at the ceiling while exhaling a deep breath.

Or maybe he still hasn’t figured it out yet. I should… give him some time to think. And shouldn’t do anything which will hurt him more. That’s the least I can do to both honour his wishes and his father’s last request.

I said, “We’ll continue this when you’ve figured this—”

“Wait! Uncle!” The boy cut my words off, his voice brimming with a youthful vigour hard for me to ignore.

I blinked, surprise written all over my face. Turning my head, my eyes met his, the lone black pupil staring back at me brimming with resolve, tinted with a tinge of what seemed like madness.

The look in his eye threw me aback, making me halt in my tracks. After a momentary pause, I said, “Go on, explain.”

“Uncle. What I need right now is strength. I… am not strong. If I was stronger, I could’ve defeated that direwolf. The incident where those people invaded and that… thing took over me. If I was stronger, it also wouldn’t have happened. More than anything, if I was strong enough, I could’ve fought back and my mother wouldn’t have to die as well.”

“And that’s why I want to become strong. Strong enough that no one can go against me. Strong enough so no one can hurt me. And strong enough that… that… I wouldn’t lose anyone else.”

Turning my head away from him to make sure he couldn’t see the warm smile on my face, I took in a deep breath, speaking in a monotone, “And why talk to me about it, especially when you know I would outright refuse or even reject you? You know why I hid the truth from you, right?”

“You didn’t want me to get my hands dirty with revenge.”

“And?”

“And you wanted me to live a peaceful life like my mother wanted.”

“Then why would you think that after becoming a bad guy, I wouldn’t go further and stop you? You know, buttering me up with all this chit chat to take my attention away from the fact you want revenge wouldn’t work. “

“I know that.”

My eyes squinted. I pressed on, “Then why?”

“Because… that is the only way I have. No matter what happens, I’ll have to do it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to let go. And I need your help to become stronger.”

Unreasonability of emotions. Emotions are always a hard thing to deal with, alright. And even if I do, there’s no saying I wouldn’t hurt him more. In any case, the best would be to let him do as he pleases and handle anything as it comes up. Who knows? He might give up on it halfway. And if he doesn’t, all I can do at this point is to support him regardless.

“You sure sound an awful lot like your father did in his younger days. Unreasonable and hard to talk with. Well, fine, I’ll help you. Consider it as repayment to his help to me over the aevis.”

“No!”

I blinked as I asked, “Then… you don’t need my help?”

“I didn’t mean that. I mean, I still need your help, but not because of that reason.”

My brow arched as I asked, “Why so? Something wrong with it?”

“Because I hate that man. A father’s duty is to protect the family. And he? He didn’t do anything. He just ran away like a coward, leaving my mother to die and me to be in this state. The best he could’ve done was to die alongside my mother, if anything.”

Didn’t do anything… Ran away… Coward… Didn’t help his wife…

Although the words weren’t directed at me, I felt as if the boy had picked up a metaphorical knife before plunging it through my chest, scraping past my insecurities.

Before I could utter a word, he continued, “If that father of mine was not even able enough to do that, why even start a family? What did my mother see in him in the first place? I even wonder if she took pity on him. In any case, I hate him. And because of that, he isn’t someone I will take help from. Instead, I’ll do something on my own.”

Why even start a family…? Took pity on him… Hate him…

His words left me tongue-tied. Although his intentions weren’t such, it was almost as if he twisted the metaphorical knife he held onto before, shoving me deeper into pain. The sense of depression was overwhelming, making my innards convulse.

An odd expression surfaced on my face, making me feel glad that I had my head away from Zack, so he couldn’t see my expression.

Hearing his stern voice, I didn’t have any heart to rebut. Thus, in order to prevent the topic from doing me any more harm, I changed the topic, “Then what do you need my help with, specifically?”

“About that… You’re already helping me enough as is. I just… I’ll tell you when I come up with something. As for repaying you, I’ll do something… anything that can help you.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle in response while saying, “Don’t worry, kid. I’m backing you up. You can rely on me, and your Aunt as well. That’s what adults are for.”

“T-thank you, Uncle!”

I nodded before taking my leave, my mood lighter than before, like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.

So he just wanted to vent. That’s also alright. Although the fact that he wants revenge is somewhat troublesome, I don’t want to disappoint him. I guess Aria was right after all. Accepting things this way feels lighter. And that thing about doing nothing and regretting it later… If even a kid can realise that, why can’t I?

My fists clenched as a memory surfaced in my mind involuntarily; the memory of my last talk with the man I admire the most, as well as one of the two people I can call my brothers — Zack’s father.