《Phantom Limb: and the Chorus of the Dead》1.6 A Normal Night in Neonight
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“It went all right, Helena. I had to fight a few policemen, one of them being a Civ user, but I was able to get to the hospital all right afterwards,” Thomas said nonchalantly as he walked over to his closet, sipping his tea, and opened it up to reveal his uniform, which was currently drying off on a coat hanger with a towel underneath. “Got a bit wet though. You won’t believe this, but I had to hide in a pool to beat—”
“That’s great Thomas. But don’t forget it isn’t good that you had to deal with the police. This isn’t about having fun, this is your job. And did anybody witness you?”
“Uh, no, everybody in that building seemed to be surprisingly heavy sleepers, and all the police I dealt with didn’t see my uniform, or at least they won’t remember seeing it.”
“That’s good, Thomas. Well done.”
“Although I did get spotted by a dad and his kids that were walking up to the pool, I handled that one pretty smoothly.”
“What? Did they see your face?” Helena’s voice went even colder than it had been before.
“Yeah, but I told them it was a ‘medically prescribed bathing suit.’ Fucking idiots, can’t believe they actually bought it.” Thomas chuckled, filled with confidence as he sipped his tea.
Helena went silent, and Thomas didn’t feel like breaking it.
“What did the father look like?” Helena asked in an uncharacteristically sweet tone.
“Uh, medium height, red hair, classic dad bod. Clean-shaven. Looked tired, so he was probably working late. Why?”
“His name is Robert Engels and he works at Neonight North Reactor. You are going to kill him tomorrow night before he leaves.”
“What? How the fuck did you find him so fast? Also no! I’m not going to do that!” Thomas shouted, raising his voice in shock and anger.
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“Don’t take that tone with me, Thomas. Remember this man is able to identify you. He’s seen your face.”
“He probably doesn’t even care anyways! And he has two kids. I’m not going to kill a man with two kids!”
“Need I remind you, Thomas, that this isn’t just your life at stake if he identifies you, but mine, your friends, and your family’s lives?”
“What friends and family? Also, I have a date tomorrow so I’m busy.”
“Don’t be weak Thomas!” Helena shrieked. “You don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself or refuse demands. You got into this business to kill, and it’s not fair that your incompetence and unwillingness to do your job will endanger my life, the lives of our clients, and the lives of everybody who has ever crossed paths with us! Including that guy you’ve been seeing.” Thomas perked up at this but stayed quiet. As did Helena, for a brief time. Eventually, she sighed and changed her tone. “I’m-I’m sorry I snapped at you, Thomas. That wasn’t right for me to do, and I apologize. Please, just head over there tomorrow night. You don’t need to do anything, but think about what I said, all right? Goodnight.” With that, she hung up, leaving Thomas to go to bed.
Despite being exhausted from a long day of death-defying work, though, he couldn’t sleep. Insomnia gripped every inch of his body as he stared up at the dry, gray ceiling, attempting to close his eyes. He was in pain—terrible pain all over his body—but even so, sleep wouldn’t come to him. His mind was reeling with what Helena had told him. He remembered taking his shot on the fifteenth floor and then jumping the gap to the apartment. His victim looked young. Uncomfortably young. He wasn’t sure why he had to kill him. It had become common knowledge over his career that such matters were none of his business. But he wanted to know now. He wanted to know why he was doing this.
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“Hey, Phantrana? Are you listening?” Thomas whispered into the darkness.
A moment later, the walls of his dull, dray bedroom glimmered. Phantrana, the Civ of Thomas Finn, was an actual name. The thing was swimming through the darkness, blotting out the lines with its massive silhouette as it moved, dancing through nothing. Most Civs were just computers—small chips that controlled nanobots or whatever. But there had always been a being inside Phantrana’s computer. An AI, built by the Civ Beings in their own image.
“Yes, Thomas?” its voice was an overlay of ungendered textures and voices. Some male, some female, some robotic. It filled Thomas’s mind. To most, the concept of an alien starfish living inside your brain was too terrifying to allow, but they’ve known each other for a long time, and he habitually bared his soul to it.
“Am I a murderer? Like I know, yeah, I murder people, but am I really a murderer?” Thomas asked.
Silence.
“I’m not sure, Thomas,” Phantrana answered. “Let’s make a scenario to better help you understand your feelings.” Suddenly, the empty grid became a warm hearth, with an elderly woman sitting in a rocking chair, knitting what looked to be a scarf.
“Grandma?” Thomas answered in partial fear.
“Hello, Thomas deary. It’s me, your grandmother, composed of various memories from your childhood and constructed into a 3D model which is now being projected in front of you.” Phantrana’s voice didn’t change.
“You know, I appreciate the sentient, but you don’t really understand people all that well, so I think we can just leave Gram-Gram alone, thank you.”
“Silence! Thomas, you asked me if you’re a murderer, yes?”
“Remember when I asked you to go simulate my parents and it was the third-worst thing I’ve ever experienced? Please, we can’t do this again.”
“I’m getting better at understanding humans, Thomas. Their movements aren’t like ‘dying puppets’ anymore. Please, you need to open up.”
Thomas thought about it. “Fine.”
“Fantastic!” Phantrana’s voice rattled Thomas’s brain around in his skull. “Now, Thomas, your grandfather, Peepums, was a soldier, correct?”
“ . . . Yes.”
“And would you say he was a murderer? My husband, Peepums Finn?”
“That wasn’t his name, but no. Are you trying to say I’m like a soldier, and that what I’m doing is okay because it’s what I need to do to survive? Because if so, that’s extremely comforting.”
“NO! You are nothing like Peepums Finn, that’s my point. Thomas, you are a murderer, and while that doesn’t condemn you forever it certainly isn’t ‘radical.’ And don’t expect me to say that you shouldn’t change.”
“This is why we never talk, it’s because you don’t just validate all of my actions, you expect me to improve like a fucking nerd!”
“Thomas, I’m being serious. You’re a good soul. I know you better than you think, I can literally see everything you’ve ever done. And after all that, I still know you can change. But I worry you’re running out of time. And I know that how you respond to this ‘Robert’ situation will seal your fate if you choose the path of evil. And I promise I’ll listen more, Thomas. I’m always here.”
And Thomas finally drifted off to sleep.
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