《aiAI: Love's Logic》Chapter 39: Love is Mute
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I took my seat on one of the rosewood ladderbacks - placing my arms on the smooth linen of the white table sheet. Beside me, I could feel another of the chairs shift as air cool as ice enveloped it. Across from us sat a woman, quiet as the calm seas she calls home. She was Livia Linville, a young model whose sweet voice remained hidden in her veil of silence and mask of beauty. And while the setting was that of a time long lost, her elegance and aura alone made her feel right at home in a house of nobles. It was as if the sight before me belonged on a canvas - her long yet curled hair, the black turtleneck, which exposed the entirety of her arms. And yet a still painting could do little to convey the allure of even her most subtle movements.
Oh, right, work.
"It's quite the place. Although I hope the drive here wasn't too problematic with the distance and all." I began with some small talk to try and test the waters with our wordless siren - my hands steepled as I conversed.
"Mhm." The young woman said with a tiny nod.
Anddddd that's all she wrote,
"By the way, you look lovely today. I noticed you and Nash have a similar style. Could it be you picked out his outfit, with your job and all?" I attempted to reengage, not letting her stagnant reply discourage me.
"Oh, yes." She answered, her eyes drifting elsewhere.
...
Now what?
At that moment, I turned to my partner with a slightly panicked look.
"Um." My ears picked up on it, and even her nervous expression was in my peripherals, but my panic all but drowned out Lily's call.
"Could you give us a second? I felt my phone vibrate. So it might be a message from one of our superiors." I said with a false smile, earning another nod from her. I turned around with my phone in hand, motioning my dear partner to come into whispering distance.
"What the hell are we supposed to do here?"
"You're asking me this, now? Weren't you supposed to allow her to open up with the "people skills" you so proudly boasted about on the way here?"
Irk, look okay. The last time I had to talk to a brick wall was
...
A few days ago. I'm lonely.
I had to think of a counterpoint that wasn't pathetic and fast - not just because we had a client to tend to but also because I had my pride to protect.
"Come on. I'm clearly not the problem here."
"Fine, you have some semblance of a point. Still, we can't sit here idle. We came here to gather information regarding their thoughts on the operation." My dear partner shot back, not wanting to deal with my attitude. The problem was quite simple. I was anxious. To repeatedly have to ask questions of higher and higher significance and continuously receive short and apathetic responses is a frightening thought. Not only that, if the young woman did start reciprocating my enthusiastic mood. The very idea of forcing herself to act that way is even worse and may keep me up at night. Even so, while my dear partner was correct in her protests, I couldn't shake off a question I harbored after meeting the voiceless beauty.
"Why don't you ask her? I know it's usually my forte, but you two are like two of a kind. Silent to an annoying degree and really good at making things harder than they should be."
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I'll leave the joke up to your own dirty minds for that.
Shrugging off my strange and completely unintentional choice of words, Myla then put a hand to her forehead and, with a sigh, responded to my suggestion.
"I'd love to lecture you on the many errors in that one statement alone, but we have a client to tend to, so for now, please just follow the script." And with that, my dear partner turned back to our client, forcing me to face her with my unprepared inquiries. I looked at Lily with my hands together, signaling an apology before getting my customer-service face on to begin.
Now to follow the script. Wait a minute. I don't have one. I just had a general layout of what I needed to ask. Or would that count as a script?
With my head in a mess and an awkward silence starting to form around my decaying smile, I blurted out something at the moment with complete disregard for the phrase "think twice."
"Oh yeah! I forgot to ask this, but we'd love to know why you decided to get matched in the first place! Since you're so quiet all the time, even with Nash. Don't get me wrong, though. You absolutely have the looks to get any guy even without our help, so why have us match?" And with that, any chance of getting Lady Livia Linville to open up was no more. I slowly hung my head in defeat and stared at the wooden floor out of shame, turning my head to see my dear partner's face of disappointment.
Forgive me for being stupid. It's genetic. So it won't spread.
As hope slowly disappeared from my system and I prepared another apology for insulting my entire bloodline, a soft-spoken voice filled the air with a response.
"I understand your perspective. I've been aware of my trait for quite some time - this was the reason for the inclusion of that second part in our request, one Nash was unaware of." Lily finally spoke with a hint of emotion. Perhaps it was a relief at us striking a conversation, or due to the question being one she's seemingly answered on a number of occasions. Myla and I faced each other with intrigue, realizing we now had an opening - my dear partner nodded to motion me to pursue.
"I hope it isn't rude to ask, but could you tell us why you're so uncommunicative? Even in our line of work, you're a bit of an oddball, no offense." I asked with a friendly tone, hoping it would ease her into answering us.
"Who knows? I've lived this way for as long as I remember, and those around me who were conscious of it came to accept it."
It wasn't strange to me. Quiet types exist - they're everywhere, but what separated Lily from them was,
"If I may," Myla spoke up, her eyes closed in thought, "Could it be your looks were what allowed them to accept you?"
Bingo.
"Perhaps, I never had the chance to ask them." And even if she did, I doubted they'd answer truthfully. From what it seemed to me, the voiceless siren was someone whose looks spoke for herself. They attracted others to her - as simply associating with someone of her caliber was a bragging right on its own. Thus, maybe she'd never realized it was a problem and, as such, grew up never knowing how to properly socialize.
Or so I'd think.
It was unrealistic, idealistic, even. A person surrounded by others will learn how to socialize. Having peers around them alone would get them used to people, so there was a separate issue here that we had to uncover.
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"It might be prying of me, but I find it hard to believe that to be the sole reason for your case," I stated with a bit of a subdued tone, worried my assumption might make her refuse to respond. My dear partner also noticed this. And with a drawn-out Hmm, she presented her own intrigue in my query and reminded me to keep my words in check. Lily took a second, taken slightly aback by my question. But the serene and reflective expression her bewitching visage took following my question implied that there was more than what her earlier words carried.
"I grew up never worrying about what others thought of me. There would always be those willing to associate with me and include me in their cliques. But behind their smiles and compliments, I always felt something bearing down on me." She answered, and while her fair countenance stayed neutral, the way her eyes lost their glimmer revealed grief hidden by blinding beauty.
Ah, I know what that is.
Standards. With great looks come even greater expected standards. And whether those emotions are real or are conjured up by those blessed with beauty, their consequences are almost always assured. The thought circled around my mind as I gave a concerned look to the young woman. Empathy was an integral quality of a surveyor, to the point that pretending to have such a trait is something I've had to do many times in the past few months. But this time, a genuine sense of worry hit me as I realized we were handling far more than just a date for this odd pair.
"This is looking to be a lot more than just a side quest," I whispered to Myla, whose face remained collected, not because she failed to assess Lily's situation properly - but out of staunch professionalism.
"Yes, but don't let it get to you. For now, what we need is composure and to press forward." My dear partner replied with her cold voice, but in the midst of that frigid air, I knew a desire to aid our silent client lingered.
And here I thought Alexandre was lying about your work ethic.
Taking her words to heart, I shook off my apprehensions and continued our advance.
"I see. It must've been hard. If it's alright, could we circle back a bit? To the question as to why you decided to get matched? Judging from your previous statements, I find it surprising you'd actively seek someone out." I said in an amiable tone towards the slightly downcast woman. Her orbs opened up a little at my query, and with a quick brush of her hand to tuck her curly locks behind her ear - she answered,
"I've had many people invite me to a relationship, but I could never reciprocate. I knew many wished for it due to my appearance. But even if they disregarded that, the problem was my own, not theirs." I wanted to interject there. It was evident she'd become a magnet for any number and kind of persons, good, bad, and ugly included, which meant to me she was in no way at fault. Before I could let those words reach her, however, she continued.
"No matter their offers or character, it was impossible for me to let go of my unease towards them. Because to me they all knew of my nature, of my inability to speak for myself. And whether or not that was the case, the sugarcoating of their approach through compliments and affection only worsened my anxiety." Lily finished, a gloom now hanging around the once radiant air around her. It was then I realized what she meant. It didn't matter if the person approaching her had good intentions or wanted a genuine relationship. It was her own doubts about the people around her, cultivated by the anxieties she carried because of her position. In that way, I wondered if the heaviest expectations she bore came not from others but from her own self-worth, telling her to be more accepting.
"Is that your reasoning for seeking out our assistance?" Myla asked, leaning forward a bit, "In the hopes of finding a partner who could understand you?" In response, Lily lightly shook her head, her curls resembling silk-like waves as she did.
"I wanted to find someone I could feel comfortable with - being understood is difficult when even you struggle to do it yourself." It was surprising, in a way, to hear someone say they were okay with their partner not understanding them. It seemed she wanted someone who could accept her, knowing she was flawed, even if they didn't fully understand said flaws.
I guess that meant she wanted to find someone who could help her understand instead. What a subversion of the "I want to be understood" trope. Wait, isn't this also a trope nowadays?
"But when I was finally given the chance to meet my partner - I was nervous. The man's photo alone made me regret something that had yet to happen." Lily continued, referencing the mugshot-like profile Nash had.
"I can't blame 'ya. He's a lot nicer in person." I remarked, which to my surprise, turned the downward gaze of our client to that of an incredibly subtle smile.
"Yes, when I finally saw him in person - we were to meet at a restaurant. I was still uneasy, and yet the thought that for once I was on a path I laid down continued to push me. And once I walked through the doors did, I see him. I never knew a man could be so concerned about his appearance. Seeing him so nervously compose himself and check his phone in and out. It was almost endearing." At this point, I could finally see the corners of our quiet beauty's mouth curl ever so slightly upwards as she spoke of her other half.
"My nerves had lessened when I saw him, and they only became calmer as I spoke with him. He was awkward and perhaps tried too hard at times, but his kindness and honesty showed in every action."
"A pleasant surprise, but it's not like you can complain either. You look super basic in the photo we have of you." I interjected a friendly comment to ride the pleasant vibe that had engulfed the table, which caused Lily's nostalgic smile to be tinted with a touch of melancholy.
"Forgive my partner. He can be a bit oblivious to social standards." Myla said as both quip and apology.
Hey, wait, it was just a joke. And what do you mean oblivious? I don't wanna hear that coming from you, of all people.
"It's quite fine," the young woman replied, carrying on her expression a surprising look at the stern Myla making fun of me, "I can understand his situation." She said, regaining her earlier smirk with a silent chuckle.
You even made her laugh? Is the world against me today? This must be some evil conspiracy plot against me.
As I reassured myself with sound logic and reasoning, my dear partner stood up from beside me.
"We must be on our way then."
"Oh, you're right. Welp, you heard her. We'll be in touch." I said as I got up as well, and with an exchange of waves, we made our way to the exit.
"Before we go, though," I turned around quickly to the young woman who was still sitting as part of the elegant backdrop, "What made you so open about all of that to us. We're not exactly the most approachable people." I said that last bit while glancing at my currently sighing partner.
"Hmm, perhaps it was just my bottled-up words waiting for their moment? But I'd like to think you were who I was looking for."
"What do you mean?" I asked, and with a delicate smile, she replied,
"Even if it's problematic. And it's not exactly within your job's scope. You want to help me understand and change as well." And with those sweet words and her serene expression ingrained into our minds, we parted ways. Myla and I began walking through the empty halls of the regal building, our steps on the wooden floor once more being the only thing accompanying us.
"So, what'd 'ya think?" I asked, breaking the brief moment of silence.
"At the very least, it seems the plan can follow through."
"I guess, but what I mean is..."
"If it will be sufficient, I presume?" Myla replied, hitting the nail on the head without even facing me.
"Yeah, I mean, it's not like one outing is gonna be enough to change who they are. It just doesn't work that way." I voiced my doubt which made her put a hand to her chin in thought. While the plan was to give the pair a chance to both have a memorable farewell and socialize, if they were looking for a solution to their woes regarding their own social aptitude or lack thereof, this wasn't going to work.
"I agree. But we have little time to further dwell on that. They've already made their arrangements, so it would be inconvenient to second-guess ourselves now." While usually coolheaded and collected, her answer had hints of uncertainty as well.
"I guess it's all we got right now, huh," I said with my arms behind my head as we walked to the exit, moving forward with unsure steps.
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