I see nothing worth mentioning. My journal shall remain empty, perhaps forever. In the vast depths of space, all creation is merely speckles of dust.

Will I arrive anywhere? Will my journey come to an end? I stopped asking myself these questions an eternity ago.

When I entered the sector known as the death of seventh, I was welcomed by a pure undiluted dark abyss.

The time that has passed, would be enough to drive an incompetent mind crazy. The perpetual beeping of a clock that would wake you every few cycles, was not enough to fill the void with sanity-sustaining stimuli.

Deep space. Being stranded Drowning in a starless ocean. The quintessence of our primordial fears.

Being fed by tubes in my veins, gazing at the horizon. Endlessly.

With barely any strength to move, with nobody to speak to.

It breaks a man.

If only I could... escape, or find a means to end it. Was it punishment? No... I vaguely remember, it was a mission. Apparently, a failed one.

To discover what lies beyond the veil, to risk it all, in hope of finding answers.

Why us? Why was everything decaying? We had to return to where it all once started. Oh, the point of return, I passed it a long time ago. There was nothing to be found, the entire sector just vanished, reduced to nothing. Not even any matter remained, no background radiation, no signals. Only the cradle of limbo.

Huh?

Did I say no signals?

Why did I not notice?

The usually straight line on the radio started dancing in a rhythm that I was able to recognize, but still – my mind was unable to comprehend it. I had to turn up the volume.

It was an acoustic guitar, someone, or something, was broadcasting.

I yanked myself forward, reversing the echoes, tracking the source. Did it work? I prayed it did.

“Hello?” - A slightly startled, feminine voice welcomed me, I felt euphoric.

“Hello! Sergeant...” - Name, what was my name? Did I really forget my own name? - “...sergeant speaking.”

“Hello, sergeant.” - She was very timid, I couldn't tell If it was because of me. Was she that scared of strangers?

“Please state your status! Is the station functional? What's the number of survivors?”

“Uhm... the 'station' is okay. I don't know any survivors, there is only me.”

I wondered, why longing and regret mixed in the hollow notes of her voice.

“Uh...”

“I...”

We interrupted each other.

“Speak first.” - I suggested, although I felt like my heart might stop at any moment. I anticipated the worst.

“You can't stay here.” - She replied, her sweet voice carrying bitter confidence.

Shivers went down my spine, I was devastated, with a trembling voice I grasped the comms, searching for answers. - “Why? Why would you do that to me!?” - I don't know why, but I yelled resentfully.

“I... I...” - She was definitely uneasy and refused to explain. - “It... has to be this way.”

I slid down my seat, with dozens of tubes still inside my bare skin. I felt as If the last ounces of will to live were drained from me. Several minutes passed, with a deaf silence separating us both.

“Sergeant?” - Her voice emerged, although concerned, to me, it was like the thorns of a blooming rose.

“Sergeant on the line, can hear you loud and clear.”

“What would you do, If you were born with wings?”

I snickered. - “Wings? What's with this question, out of the cloud?”

“Answer, please.”

“Isn't the answer obvious?” - I scoffed. - “Do what every winged creature does, fly.”

“...how high would you want to fly?”

“As high as I can, over the clouds, until I see a clear sky and the sun... or the stars.”

“Why?”

Did I know why? No, that was just the first image that came to my mind. - “Instincts.”

“Oh.” - The girl giggled. - “That's weird instinct, I believe most birds don't fly that far.”

I laughed, perhaps she was right. - “Probably...”

“Was it the reason, why you are here? Instincts?”

That question struck me by surprise. At first, I wanted to explain what my mission was, but to be honest – what was the real reason for my journey?

Was it really a selfless decision to leave everything behind, and search for a cure? No.

...or was it because of my fascination with the unknown, because of my desire to fly farther than any being ever imagined? No, that was not it.

I remembered. It indeed were instincts, but not of a bird who flies over the clouds to feel the warmth of the sun. No, it was a bird who feared something on the ground. It was a dread so primal, that it separated from the flock and flew way higher than it would be considered safe.

“I suppose so...” - I answered, slowly, in a cold sweat. Why, why was I so afraid right now? What else did I forget?

“Ohh, that makes a lot of sense!”

I realized, that the voice was no longer as pleasant as it sounded at first. No, it felt as If I'm being cornered by wolves.

“Sergeant. Can I have a request?”

“Y-yes.” - Why did I start to stutter?

“I didn't have a companion to talk and play with for so long, especially not a one with such great aptitude for survival. Do you want to play a game? A simple hide and seek.”

My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't just say yes, but I didn't want to find out what would happen If I refuse. Wait. What would happen If I refuse? Why was I afraid of that?

“I... I'm afraid there's nowhere to hide, miss.” - I uttered, trying to stall. My eyes were frantically searching around. For what, though? There was nothing in the cockpit of this damned ship!

“Oh, I see.” - There was immeasurable sadness in her voice. - “...then, this has to be a goodbye.”

“...wait!” - My blood froze, I desperately clutched the comms, pleading. - “We can play something else! Yes, there are a lot of other games!”

“Ohh! What games!?”

My mind was blank. Did I really know any games? No... damn it. - “Uh... riddles, do you like those?”

“Mhm... I don't know, I never tried.”

“I will ask first, then. What moves through all things?” - I blurted out of my mouth, without a second thought, still searching under my armrests. Quickly, I realized, that I don't know the answer myself. What kind of question even was that?

“Oh. I think I know... but... I'm not sure If you do.”

What? - “Hah, nice try.” - My hand nervously combed the floor under a chair. - “You won't make me spill the beans.”

“Mmm! Touchy!” - It didn't work, I only encouraged her. - “I'm ready!”

“Yeah, spit it out.” - There it was, a pistol. I carefully placed it under my chin, ready to pull the trigger.

“It's not a physical thing, like a bullet...” - She hummed.

“Haha... of course.” - My fingers trembled. No, I better move it into my mouth, just to be sure.

“It's not an emotion, like fear.” - She added. - “...and it's not nothing, although I wish things were that simple.”

I hesitated, was that really my answer? I didn't know why, but before I go, I wanted to hear the guess, but at the back of my mind, everything was screaming to make it stop.

“It is... it is... do you really want to know?” - She teased me.

I removed the barrel for a brief moment. - “Yes.”

“It is...”

“...”

“It is...”

“It is?”

“Right behind you, dummy.”

At this point, I knew it was better to move the pistol and shoot. I tried, but my hand wouldn't move. I felt restrained. My eyes opened, only to notice black threads, entwined around my fingers.

“I don't like your games!” - She complained. Her voice was right behind me. Loud and clear. The threads slowly tightened up.

I felt as If a thousand needles were stuck in my throat. No sign of protest would come out.

My fingers started bleeding.

“Apologize. Right now.” - She demanded.

The skin around the wounds started to rot, spreading to my entire hand. The burning sensation, kindred to pain, intensively pierced my bones. I felt as If I were about to vomit my guts, and speaking was the last thing I was capable of.

“S-sorry.” - I squeaked out, barely. My arm was released and dropped limp.

“Oh!” - Suddenly, her voice broke into tears. - “I told you! I told you can't stay here!”

I was confused and ready to collapse, and that's precisely what happened. When the beeping of an alarm woke me up, my arm was back intact and the gun was missing. Was it all dream, a nightmare? Perhaps it was.

To this day, my journey continues... but what was its purpose?

I can't recall.